I hate Winter. It's cold, the roads get slippery, no sun, no fishing while laying in the warm sand on a river bank, no fresh fruit, ripe from my trees
and forget about getting a decent tomato. All the trees are naked and the beautiful green of Summer is a long way away. My garden is dead and there's
no hope of seeing my roses bloom for months. But the thing I hate the worst, the thing that just makes me dread this time of year is.....a cold toilet
seat. You go to the bathroom to read your book or magazine, drop your pants, sit down and wince in dreaded anticipation of that chilly impact of cheek
Oh, you can grit your teeth, take a deep breath and hope it won't be so bad this
time, but, it's the same cold embrace. You can get a padded
seat, with a soft foam lining, but the plastic on the outside is still as cold as an ex wife's heart.
It can ruin a nights sleep as well. It's 3:00 am, you wake up with a full bladder and you have got to go
. You stumble to the bathroom, groggy
and hoping to get this over with so you can crawl back in the warm covers. You get there and you're too sleepy to aim, so you foolishly decide to sit
down [ yes you have ] and just
before contact, you realize what's coming. You try to stop. You try to stand back up, but it's like the gravity
has suddenly doubled and your cheeks make touchdown. Your eyes fly open, an involuntary "guhhh" sound comes out of your mouth and all of a sudden,
you're wide awake and cursing yourself for having that last beer. The only consoling thought is that, at least I'm not female. They have to sit every
time. I salute you ladies, you have tougher [ but far more attractive ] cheeks than mine.
For all of us who dread a cold seat, here is a truly useful invention. I know they have been around for a while, but their true value is sadly too
I Give You .....The Heated Seat!!
edit on 25-1-2015 by DAVID64 because: typo