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Dragon Therapy

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posted on Jan, 21 2015 @ 11:15 PM

Dragon Therapy

"Mr Jabberwock, the Doctor will see you now."

It took Jabby a minute to realize that it was his name that had been called. And even then he was not totally sure. His eyes raised from the copy of Cosmo he'd been thumbing through and looked up, towards the receptionists window, to see if she was, indeed, looking his way. Being that this woman had worked at this office for years and knew that Jabby always got lost in his thoughts, the receptionist was already prepared and waiting to give him the smiling nod that always tipped Jabby off that, yes, his name had been called.

Jabby put down the much abused copy of Cosmo, neatly upon the small table - which held about a dozen other similarly abused copies of other months Cosmo magazines - and walked towards the door which led to the Doctors office. There he stood, patiently, awaiting the buzzing noise which would let him know that the security lock on the door would be temporarily suspended so that he could enter.

Alive for over ten-thousand years... laid countless villages to waste... feared by more people than the plague... and stopped by an electronic lock, Jabby mused silently to himself. Of course he could simply take a deep breathe in and burn the door to a crisp. Or, even more simply, he could just rip it to shreds. But that would mean no more Doctor Coulson. And without Doctor Coulson, there would be no more Effexor nor sedatives. And, without all of that? Well the court order would be violated and, damn, did Jabby hate Judges, lawyers, and courtrooms. Especially lawyers. They always wanted more of his gold than he wished to part with.

The door finally hummed with an electric sound and Jabby gently opened it. Doctor Coulson was standing in the hall, about twenty feet down - just outside of her office, waiting and smiling. Returning her smile and waving, he begain walking toward her.

As far as humans went, Coulson was not half bad. She was a very pretty woman. In better times villagers might have even tied her to a stake as a sacrifice to him - a present to make sure that Jabby did not get lonely and bored enough to visit their village. The humans were always worried about him showing up - a fact which always stymied him. As far as dragons went, he was pretty damned laid back. He just liked company and it was not his fault that some jerk with a lance and armor was always trying to put salt in his game. He could not show his face in public without some metallic covered asshat trying to call him out. What kind of idiot calls out a giant lizard that can breathe fire and crumble mountains?

Jabby never did get it. He was just thankful that people moved on and now, as long as he steered clear of Tokyo, things went pretty smoothly between him and humanity.

Dr. Coulson said her obligatory "So how are you feeling this week?" as she motioned for him to sit in her office.

Jabby wanted to answer, but was instantly distracted, as he was every single week, by the fact that there were always two chairs to choose from on the other side of that desk - and he never could figure out which one was the correct one. Was it some kind of psychological test? Was there some qualifier involved? Like, if you sat in the left chair it meant you were a psycho, but if you sat in the right chair it meant you were normal? Or the other way around? Jabby always hated making this choice as it kind of freaked him out. But, as always, he opted for the closest of the two. That way if there was some underlying psychological meaning, he could just feign laziness and throw salt in their game.

As he sat, the good Doctor did as well. She proceeded to shuffle through a few computer screens, for an uncomfortably long period, before she finally spoke. Jabby was pretty sure that this was also some sort of shrink test. Make 'em wait to see how they react. Hah, he wasn't falling for that one either.

"As you know, Mr Jabberwork, by court order I have to ask you if you have felt the desire to harm yourself or others since our last visit. Have you felt like hurting anyone since the last time we spoke?"


His answer was short and sweet because he absolutely hated the question. It had been well over five years since the last "incident" and that happened before the therapy, medication, meetings, ankle bracets and never-ending scrutiny. Of course he was not going to harm anyone. Hell it wasn't like there wasn't a SWAT team stationed about ten feet from him at all times anyway. And everyone acted as if they weren't there. Dragons, he thought, are many things. Dumb ain't one.

Coulsons voice became a bit authoritarian as she countered, "Mr Jabberwork. Your answer was rather terse Sir. Should I read anything into that? I feel the question is legitimate, as you do have a history...."

A HISTORY? Oh, lady, if only you knew. Your ancestors didn't write nor draw very well and, even once they figured those simple things out, they still seemed to lack the ability to get things right and accurate. If the things he had done in his youth were on record? Well the good Dr Coulson would be shivering and hiding under her desk, begging for her life.

"I apologize for interrupting Doctor. But I did not mean to appear terse. I'm fine. I guess it's just that we go through the same ritual twice per week and sometimes it gets a bit tiresome and predictable. I apologize if I came across harshly."

Coulson stared at him longer and more intently than he cared for, but she finally seemed to accept his answer and went back to her seemingly mindless ritual of staring at the computer screen and fiddling with the mouse. Jabby wondered if she was actually thumbing through his records, or if she was secretly playing solitaire or telling her Facebook followers all about what was happening. Either way, he didn't care.

A long silence followed.

"How about your medications? Are they helping? Are you having any side effects? You know, I have to be blunt. Trying to figure out a proper dosage for someone your size is rather intimidating and is honestly nothing more than trial and error. The day I first prescribed your medication I did so half afraid that I would get a call saying you had been transported to the hospital for overdose. If I only knew, then, what I know now..."

Jabby silently and secretly chuckled. That first dose didn't even phase him. In the intervening months the good Doctor had upped his dose over eight thousand percent before he reached "theraputic levels". He took, in a day, what a human would take in four or five months. And a totally screwed up human at that.

The meds are working perfectly Doc. My mood is fairly constant - but allowing for some ups and downs that I can cope with - and I am sleeping quite well. As far as my aggression goes? I have never felt more peaceful or compassionate. The only side effect is the one we discussed before and the other pill you prescribed has fixed that problem well enough

posted on Jan, 21 2015 @ 11:15 PM
Again, Jabby silently and secretly smirked. He wondered how the good folks at Viagra felt when they received his order every month? He was half sure they had to open an extra production plant just to fill his prescription.

The sound of rampant and high speed typing either meant that the Doctor was, indeed, accessing his records - or it reinforced his Facebook fears. Again, either way, he did not care.

The typing went on for several minutes, in which time nobody spoke. Jabby sat, looking around the office, feeling almost like a stalker as he did. There was an awkward feeling being in another persons "zone" and an even stranger feeling that came with taking it all in. It was a very uncomfortable form of voyuerism that he did not enjoy at all. But, all things considered, he felt it less creepy than if he had just sat there staring at the Doctor as she worked.

Finally her busy fingers came to a halt, she looked up and began to speak.

"I have a confession to make, Mr. Jabberwock. My job is to analyze you... To get inside of your head and understand the way you think. The problem is that I find it impossible to do so as I am not the same species as you are. I do my best, but there are things that I do not understand and I really need to if I am to treat you correctly. Based upon that, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Of course you may." Jabby replied.

"Well Mr. Jabberwock. It is my understanding, from the police reports, that you live in a giant cave and that this cave is filled with gold coins estimated to be about eighty feet in depth. Is this correct?"

Her question took Jabby off guard and reminded him that humans truly do not understand. At all. I mean, damn... what kind of creature would NOT want to sleep on an eight foot deep bed of gold??? Oh, and posh on their eighty feet. It was more like two-hundred, but semantics. Jabby's face went serious as he fought to find an answer that she might understand.

Suddenly it hit him. If this had been a cartoon, a lightbulb would have appeared over his head!

"Your suit."

Doctor Coulson stared at him blankly and utterly lost. Even as he gave her a minute for it to sink in, she still remained blank. Gah, species of mental children.

"Your suit, Doctor. Is it not called a power suit? Did you not purchase it for an insane amount of money from a store that you only shop at because of the label stitched into the clothing? The power of the brand?"

With this her eyes lit up a bit. Understanding was creeping in.

"As you can plainly see, dragons do not wear suits. We are born with scales, our clothing. We cannot project power by shopping at Saks. Having a home filled with plunder - gold is preferred as it's been the standard plunder since before your ancestors crawled down from the trees - is exactly the same thing as wearing a power suit or driving a high end Mercedes. It is a symbol of success and status. That and it is also uber comfy to sleep on. My species breathes fire, which means we are very warm blooded, in spite of what your so-called experts have to say about lizards in general, and the gold is the perfect level of cold to offset our warmth. It makes us feel good all the way around. Does that help you understand?"

Coulson smiled and said that she did, indeed understand the gold now. As she sat thinking about it, a finger began twirling her hair and she took her glasses off, biting down on one of the arms of the frame as she thought.

Great - here we go with the gold digger thing again Jabby thought, thoroughly unamused. Just as he was about to let the rage begin to boil, Coulson's entire demeanor went directly back to professional. Jabby sighed. There must be a Mr. Coulson and she must have thought better of it.

"I just have one more question Mr. Jabberwock. This one a bit more personal and to the bone. Do you mind?

"I have nothing to hide - so no, I do not mind at all." Jabby responded.

Coulson very obviously bit her lip and started to blush a bit before she spoke. Almost as if she were second guessing herself.

"What is the fixation with virgins? I have been doing a lot of reading in order to be your therapist and this is a question I have wanted to ask for our entire Doctor / patient relationship but have never found a good opportunity to do so. In all of the lore it seems to be virgin this and virgin that. Virgins tied to trees. Virgins thrown off cliffs. Virgins shoved into caves. Why the virgin fixation? As a therapist this truly is an integral question to gain a bit of insight into you as a patient."

Jabby now understood why the thoughts of gold digging had escaped the good doctors mind. She apparently knew she lacked a certain qualification - even if it were one that she implied and not him.

This time his laughter was outloud and very obvious.

"You know, Doc. I could ask you the same question. I have no answer at all. That's just how your species went about things. I can't speak for all of the dragons in the world, but I never once asked for a human sacrifice or slave, much less a virgin. Your kind just kept giving them to me. Three or four times a year I'd wake up to find some frightened young girl cowering outside of my cave, tied to one thing or another. The first time it happened I untied the poor thing and told her to go home. You know what her people did? They killed her for not being worthy, accusing her of having not truly been a virgin and left another girl in her stead the next day! Can you believe that???

I let the second one stay with me for a few days while I tried to figure out a solution. Finally I realized the best way to deal with it was to simply create my own 'virgin relocation program'. They would give me a virgin and I would fly her a few hundred miles away to a village nowhere near another dragons lair. There I would inform the citizens that this girl was a daughter of the dragons and that they should treat her with due respect, lest I return to punish them for hurting my child. It worked like a charm."

Upon hearing this, Coulson stared off into the distance that existed somewhere beyond the walls of her office, lost in that place we all sometimes go when our minds are working overtime. Jabby imagined that about a billion preconceived notions had just been shattered in the good Doctors head and that her mind had just opened to an entirely new world of possibilities.

None of which involved him, he hoped. Again, gold diggers make for bad dragon dates.

Coming out of her thought coma Coulson smiled and spoke.

"O.K. Mr. Jabberwork. Thank you. Do you still use the pharmacuetical warehouse on Stevens St. to refill your medications?"

Jabby nodded in the affirmative.

"Then I will call in your refills this afternoon. Do you have any questions for me this week?"

Jabby wryly smiled and replied that his only question was a request for her to stop asking him if he felt like hurting himself or others every single time they spoke.

This made the good Doctor giggle a bit.

Her fingers went back to the keyboard for a couple of minutes, and then to the top of a notepad on her desk. After writing for a couple of minutes she ripped off the top sheet and handed it to Jabby.

edit on 1/21/15 by Hefficide because: (no reason given)

posted on Jan, 21 2015 @ 11:15 PM
Mr. Jabberwork. Please give this to Gladys on your way out and she will schedule your next appointment. Do you still have my business card handy?

Again Jabby nodded in the affirmative.

Doctor Coulson spoke as she rose and opened the office door.

Good. Then you may call me if you have any problems. For emergencies, please dial 911 or go to your local emergency room. You have an excellent afternoon Mr. Jabberwock"

Same to you Doc Jabby said, with a grin, as he exited the office and began the long walk down the labrynth of hallways that would, eventually lead him to the receptionists desk and Gladys - she with the magic to make appointments.

Within minutes Jabby was walking out of the office and thinking "You know, some ice cream would really hit the spot right now." and, with that, began the debate over stopping at the grocer or finding an ice cream shop.

posted on Jan, 21 2015 @ 11:45 PM
a reply to: Hefficide

Very Cool Tale Heff!! Loved the Funny bits too!!! LOL!!! Very creative!!

posted on Jan, 21 2015 @ 11:56 PM
That was hysterical Heff. I loved it.

You may want to work on the realities og getting a Dragon through a doorway and down a corridor, let alone sitting in/on a chair. Possibly have him shift to a human form as Dragons do.

Loved it.

You should join us in the shed.


posted on Jan, 22 2015 @ 12:10 AM
I enjoyed this as well. Is there more coming?

posted on Jan, 22 2015 @ 06:04 AM
Absolutely brilliant ... greatstory ..

posted on Jan, 22 2015 @ 06:16 AM
a reply to: Hefficide

Epic mate! S & F

posted on Feb, 24 2015 @ 11:24 PM
That was great, man. Do you have any more like this? It was funny.

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