Study Links Social Anxiety To Being An Empath

I actually came to this similar hypothesis a few years ago while in the middle of panic attack in a grocery store. After trying therapy, meds and sadly self-medication, I've never been able to overcome this trait. I thought to myself: "you know maybe I'm absorbing all the feelings of these people around me." I've always had a good read on people but these past few years my shyness which I consider low level anxiety, has gotten much more extreme.

It has been my experience that empaths suffer if they are cruel to others, they have a heightened sense of compassion, and feel the emotional pain .

If they hurt another it tortures their conscience until they make it right

They also seem to hang on to energy that should be released through the healing arts or praying for people, in need. To me this energy needs to be used or it causes physical problems..

For those of you who are empaths....how do you keep it at bay when you need to? I realized I was an empath when I was young, maybe 14 years old. I'm curious if any of you have a method.

a reply to: CretumOrbis

You know that neighbour that always plays their music way too loud? Imagine trying to tell them to turn it down and they reply with "what music?"

I used to love loud music, I rarely do now. I agree with much of what the posts have said. My partner (pretty switched on in reading others) always tells me to get out there and taste the world. I avoid it when ever I can.

I remember that when I have little sleep or too much coffee my emotions or sensitivity feels "like a rasp running on raw nerves"

I just googled and found a few articles about avoiding coffee to decrease sensitivity.

I drive a transport vehicle and avoid driving/going out on weekends. I just sense other drivers energies and anxieties when I'm driving. I agreed to go out with her last night around 6.30pm, the sun was setting it wss a beautiful drive few cars on the road. I'm glad she encouraged me to motivate myself to go out.

a reply to: CretumOrbis

Not sure what you're trying to say here. I've been in about 5 situations in my life where having my "finger on the transmit button" has been employed. All were necessary to prevent harm. Once, for example, when I was on a public transit bus and some rowdies got on and started terrorizing the other passengers. The mood on the bus instantly changed when they got on and the fear was palpable (at least to me). At first I was angry that no one had the cajones to challenge them and then I just retreated to my quiet spot while looking out the window. Then I began to sing. Softly at first then slightly louder but with my eyes closed. I could feel the mood of both passengers and rowdies begin to change to one of confusion. Shortly after, before I even finished the song, the rowdies just walked off the bus without harassing anyone else.

Another time when empathy saved my life was during the Sirloin Steakhouse murders. I was supposed to start work that night but was a no call/no show. First and only time in my life I've been a no call/no show on a job. It pays to find that quiet spot within where no other voices/feelings drown out your own.

a reply to: shieldmaiden

For me, some places I don't go. I don't go inside elementary schools. I can spot the abused children. They look right at me. It is all I can do to keep from telling the teacher "don't send that kid home". Then they would haul me to mental.

originally posted by: kayleighkitty
My social anxiety is weird
im friendly bubbly never shy to say hello, good morning

But i feel really uncomfortable around groups of people/ random parties (unless its a family get to gether)

i just cant do nightclubs/ pubs that sort of thing
i feel super uncomfortable on crowded buses too

i just dont like being around that sort of thing
i never feel uncomfortable around older people

but younger people i just get horrible vibes around and feel uncomfortable/judged/ out of place (and im young myself)

You've just described me, really outgoing and not shy etc. But try to get me into a space full of strangers/people I don't know well I begin to feel really jittery and even angry sometimes. If I'm in a shopping centre I start to feel dizzy and lightheaded when the place is super busy. Lately I went to a rugby match and had the beginning of a panic attack... Not nice

The unusual thing is though I used to be the complete opposite until recently. Did a life detox I suppose, got rid of 'bad' people from my life, left my crap job and now working in a much quieter environment so maybe I'm just not used to it anymore.

a reply to: kazanoom
Interesting... and 'grocery store' caught my attention... I always wondered what it was about grocery stores that made people sad and angry.

But then it's just likely because many of us shy flowers only go into the public spaces because we have to ...to eat. And every part of the public has 'sad and angry' permeating it.

But court buildings... bad news.

As far as broadcasting the feelings, even IF there's no other senses, we broadcast with carriage and general facial expression and going into public after one makes themselves 'happy and gregarious' is something... try it... people suck it up and it's infectious. Some of my best days started with a determination to be a 'good broadcaster.'

YES!
I am emotionally Empathic.
the easy way to see this is
do you cry for a very sad film?

But I realized some thing else important.
you know shell shock.
well you can get it in Normal life!

think about it.
all most every day you have some thing
that slowly brakes you down.
eventually you brake, crack!

some times it is hardly noticeable
until they commit suicide or kill some one.
physiatrist Need to realize this so they can help people.

I have never see this said any ware before.
and I am not having a go at ware vets.
just think about what war vets go thru?

a kid at school gets bulled ever day.
he then commits suicide.
can you try to see this, please!
I just wish physiatrist could see it.
and help ALL the people in need.

I even have a idea to help them.
go on some kind of retreat.
with no out side world at all.
total quiet and peace for 4 weeks or more.
two time a year.
and do a total life change.
new job new friends. not easy I know.
but is killing your self worth it?

originally posted by: buddha
YES!
I am emotionally Empathic.
the easy way to see this is
do you cry for a very sad film?

But I realized some thing else important.
you know shell shock.
well you can get it in Normal life!

think about it.
all most every day you have some thing
that slowly brakes you down.
eventually you brake, crack!

some times it is hardly noticeable
until they commit suicide or kill some one.
physiatrist Need to realize this so they can help people.

I have never see this said any ware before.
and I am not having a go at ware vets.
just think about what war vets go thru?

a kid at school gets bulled ever day.
he then commits suicide.
can you try to see this, please!
I just wish physiatrist could see it.
and help ALL the people in need.

I even have a idea to help them.
go on some kind of retreat.
with no out side world at all.
total quiet and peace for 4 weeks or more.
two time a year.
and do a total life change.
new job new friends. not easy I know.
but is killing your self worth it?

Sorry.

a reply to: MOMof3

Wow, that is intense. I can spot a wounded soul pretty quickly, and sometimes that person will randomly start confessing things to me. Some things that help me are prayer and talking with someone. I think it's easy for an empath to get depressed and anxious because they feel helpless sometimes and they don't know what to do with the information they pick up on.

a reply to: FlyersFan

Thanks FlyersFan for this wonderful article!! It gives us empaths a chance to step out of our lurking to commune and find common ground!!

I think some great points have been made that helped shed some light for me!! Hopefully for others as well. I think the question that really needs some attention has been asked by a couple of peeps already. How does an empath cope when they have to live in the world? Coping skills help us to live balanced, healthy, fulfilled lives!! I would love to hear in more detail how others cope.

originally posted by: rememberthetrees
a reply to: FlyersFan

Thanks FlyersFan for this wonderful article!! It gives us empaths a chance to step out of our lurking to commune and find common ground!!

I think some great points have been made that helped shed some light for me!! Hopefully for others as well. I think the question that really needs some attention has been asked by a couple of peeps already. How does an empath cope when they have to live in the world? Coping skills help us to live balanced, healthy, fulfilled lives!! I would love to hear in more detail how others cope.

I've been hesitating to answer the question about coping mechanisms, as my strategy involves having a lot of time to myself and I don't want to encourage others to become isolated.

However, getting way from people and thinking things through, working out how I feel or what I think about certain issues is important to me.

I'd suggest finding alone times and using them wisely. A person doesn't have to just hole up at home alone. Getting out for a long walk in the countryside, finding a park in the city, strolling long a beach and just thinking, feeling and observing can work wonders.

a reply to: berenike

To be frank, I was hesitant to even ask the question! I totally see your point and I contemplated some of the points of "coping" already mentioned. I was hoping, after reading all the posts, that maybe we could discuss healthy coping mechanisms.

I would LOVE to live in the forest and be a hermit but I live in a city of 4 million, in a foreign country, have a 4 year old son, and that is just not an option for me! I have also tried many things to cope with my anxiety. I have self medicated, used prescription meds, ect. It all brings you back to where you started from once the meds wear off, at least for me.

Like you, I don't want to encourage isolation, but I do spend some time alone everyday. I think that acknowledging that we need down time to process is not a bad thing. Just remember the rule, everything in moderation.

I usually meditate in the morning to set my mind for the day. When you first get up your mind and emotions are quiet, no arisings yet. You get to see and know yourself inwardly. It helped me to distinguish between my inner info and others inner info. I then meditate at night before going to bed. Usually that time there is alot of work for me but I sleep better having worked through all the mess from the day. If I have time during the day, taking a walk in the park is by far the fastest reset for me too. Nature helps to naturally clean emotions. I know that sounds woo-woo, but it is the truth! I want to try and steer clear of woo-woo unless others really want to discuss that.

I believe we are picking up on information we just don't realize it or if we do, we don't know what to do with it!! I agree with Realtruth when he said we are picking up on extra sensory information. We don't get training to Know thyself here in the western world.

I did see one poster say singing helped in a bad situation? I have done this also and it works very well!! Sound carries info and is a good tool! Any song can be used like a mantra! You don't have to sing out loud if you don't want to, inwardly singing works just as well. I usually have to do this to get through the doctors office!!! I can't tell you how much I hate the doctors office!!!

I used to avoid malls all together!! I would end up feeling sick for days after! Now I can spend hours there and have no problems now!! The method is a little woo-woo so I will only say that I prep my mind and self before going there!

I will say it took me about 2 years solid work to come to a point where I can cope! I have found coping mechanisms and skills that work for me, allowing me to live a happier life!

As an empath, my heart goes out to all here and sharing information on coping might help all find that space of peace!!

a reply to: rememberthetrees

It's interesting that you should mention singing.

I've found that singing a small song if I'm in pain can really help a lot. I focus on the part that's hurting and sing to it - just in my mind, I'm tone deaf really

I'm not sure how that works - sound carrying info, as you say - or vibrations, but it's always worth a try especially with cramp. It maybe something to do with accepting the part that's hurting rather than rejecting it when it most needs help.

a reply to: berenike

I will have to try that next time I am in pain! I usually use mental projection when I am in pain. Singing helps to give your mind and intention direction. In this case you are directing your intent and mind towards your body for healing!

When your in an anxious situation, like when I go to the doctors office, helps me keep my center and not become overwhelmed by all the extra info I am picking up. You can use poems too if you want. If you have poems that invoke feelings of joy and peace. One of my favs is I wandered lonley as a cloud by Wordsworth!!

Now the situation in which that person used singing was really a volatile situation!! Kodos to them for being so brave. I don't know that I could have done that, but now it is something I will think about next time I am in a volatile situation.

Several have said they can read people like a book, and nothing is hidden. With some psychotic persons they can also read others like a book. They have too in order to remain hidden. Yet they do not have the capacity for empathy or understanding to go along with perceiving such information. It is more like primal instinct, like prey. To me they look like prey and act like it too.

The burden of knowing, understanding, empathizing can be heavy. It doesn't have to be. You can learn to dial it back when it isn't in your best interest. You have to come to realize how we are connecting emotionally with someone we are empathizing with! When you empathize with someone you are creating an emotional link with them allowing you to perceive more information. Now you have an emotional tie with this person you are sympathizing with. Which is ok, just don't keep it, don't let it disrupt your own emotional energy/flow. Observe it and let it go. Don't carry it with you, it will overload you!! It took me a long time to understand and accept that.

In instances where we perceive children that are abused we can let the appropriate persons know by bringing such behaviors to the attention of the teacher or other persons in authority. Sometimes people are just not aware of such subtle behaviors, especially in children.

If you perceive a wolf in sheep's clothing..........well, I equate them to agents in the matrix......I run!! After having a stalker , being exposed to several rapists, a cannibal, pedos, and an abusive home life.......I realized there are some people and instances that just have NO HAPPY endings! And asking why isn't relevant anymore!! It just is.