Long Gone

a reply to: LiveForever8

Yea. I suppose that's a good way of putting it. That vehicle is really the only solid thing he can claim and technically can't even claim that. He's got a lot of issues and doesn't seem to be trying to change anythingn to better his life. He told me once that he was in a "midlife crisis" and that explained why he was with me in the first place...never actually knew if he was joking or not. He said a lot of things..

a reply to: PageLC14

One song after the next.

Oh yah, every song that comes on the radio reminds you of lost loves. I know, I been through that. I think everyone has. Don't hold it in. Its okay to miss someone, really miss them so much you think you're going to die. Its okay to feel sorrow and angry and guilty and all those things over and over. Its a roller coaster ride called Post Traumatic Stress.

In love and war, car wrecks, death in the family, sickness, whatever.

Was he your first?

originally posted by: PageLC14
a reply to: Hoosierdaddy71

He is who he is, I've learned. And try as I might, he won't change. And I don't know if I can handle who he is. It's tough.

You've answered your questions right there. And generally, from what you've posted, if he can't accept that for you, your daughter comes first over anyone else, you can do much much better than him in time. Time will help with its passing. I hope you'll find someone who'll make both you & your daughter happy with his presence in your lives.

a reply to: intrptr

I could say he isn't, but that'd be a lie. I've had past relationships that when ended I thought I was heart broken. Looking back on those, though, I know it wasn't true.

With this guy it's different. He opened my eyes to a lot of stuff. Introduced me to this site, actually. We experienced things I could never experience with another human again. When we split it literally felt like my heart had broken. I cried like I never cried before. i can only compare that pain to the pain I felt when I lost my mother. It felt the same. Like a piece of myself was dead and I'd never get it back. Heart wrenching.

ETA: I know I probably sound like every other silly woman that goes through heart break but that's how I feel about it. I guess I can't say with any honesty that I'll never love someone like I love him Because i could never guess at what the future holds for me. I CAN say that nothing good came from our relationship. Have bad credit now because I gave him a place to stay and fell horribly behind on my rent, because for some reason he didn't help pay and I never asked him to...All I know is that he has been a huge part of my life

a reply to: PageLC14

That is true love. So you are human then.

Big hugs… losing someone we love is the hardest.

How long has it been since you guys broke up?

a reply to: intrptr

The first time we split was in September of last year. That's when it hurt the most. Shortly afterward tho we got back together. I wanted things to be different but the only thing that was different was the way things felt. It just didn't feel the same. I broke up with him two weeks ago. New Years Eve. When I did he laughed at me. Told me how many times he's been dumped within days of new yers. So it was nothing new. Made me feel horrible...Didn't really seem like he wanted to try. I guess the thing that got me was how negative he was. Always saying that nothing changes and he's gotten used to living the way he does. Nothing gets better and it's just a constant downward spiral. No matter how much I tried to tell him that's not true, that HE could change everything by just THINKING positively, he didn't WANT to try at all.

ETA: Was I giving off some kind of non human vibe? Lol

I'm glad I can get on here and talk about this. I literally have no one to vent to. You all have been very nice and have given great advice. Thank you all so much for your two sense.

originally posted by: PageLC14


See, that's what people have been telling me. That he was using me...I just don't want to think that. But even after we split up just recently, I was sending him money and buying him food so he wouldn't starve...Round and around. It's probably for the best that he has left. Probably. I just have to keep telling myself that until I believe it..

He is an ADULT and if nothing else needs to take responsibility

for himself?

You are doing the adult thing and taking responsibility for

yourself and your daughter, who needs you. (much

more than he does.)

He's a TAKER. move on before he sucks the life out of you!

No relationship can survive such inequality .... a relationship

is a two way thing, and needs balance 50/50? even 45/55?

or 40/60? at a push.

Been there, done that, and got the tee shirt, you will get

over it .... keep looking forward, don't look back.

Give your daughter the love he couldn't handle ... 'she' is your

'diamond'

GOOD LUCK

The fact that you repeatedly state in your posts that your child is more important than anything else to you tells me that you are going to be just fine.

You'll make the right choices. You've obviously got a very good head on your shoulders.

Its difficult.. but you made the right choice.. and your right your daughters wellbeing is more important .. you made the best decision for both you and your daughter..
As to the pain.. in time it fades.. look forward not back...

When you two broke up the first time in September, you grieved the loss. When you got back together, you said it didn't feel the same anymore. That is your heart telling you it is wrong, that it's time to let go. I've been there. It can hurt so much that it is impossible to think about anything else. It will get easier every day...a little at a time. Give yourself permission to let go. Tell yourself that your going to put all the energy and love you wasted on him into your child and yourself. You are strong enough to handle this. You will get stronger every day. You can do this. You deserve to be loved. There will be someone that will come along that will offer their time, energy and love to you and your child and they will ask for nothing but the same in return. Just keep breathing.

a reply to: PageLC14

Sorry for the delay…

ETA: Was I giving off some kind of non human vibe? Lol

Not from where I'm sitting. The character you describe is a user. He used you, then laughed at you. No money, no job, but nice car? This kind of person is called a grifter.

He used you and spit you out. Shame on him. A curse on him.

You can be sad for the "loss" but really you didn't lose anything. You gained a wisdom to recognize their type from now on.

I get the deep loss in you though. You sound like a real person. A real conscientious soul. Heres a test. See how this makes you feel…My guess is you are human. Take heart, You are not alone in this world.

a reply to: intrptr

Wow. That gave me chills and made me cry.

Made me feel...sad, really. But a little sanguine..

Let go.

Love is just a psychological condition which can be between any two people. There's no such thing as a soul mate or THE ONE. It's all in the mind.

It obviously doesn't feel like this for you right now. Give it time... some other loser of a man will turn up and hurt you all over again. It's what we're good at.

a reply to: PageLC14

Good morning Lady, I hope your day is better today! Here I used this video for another friend on ATS in the arts forum but think you may find joy in it as well!!!!

a reply to: PageLC14

I learned a new word, thank you…

sanguine

Be sure you don't "take this guy back", he'll do the same thing again as often as you let him.

Glad you liked the song. It was about a dog he had as a kid. You probably heard this one before…

Music as motivation... that works.

Hush now child and don't you cry
Your folks might understand you by and by
So in the mean time, move on up towards your destination
Though you may find from time to time complications

Bite your lip and take a trip
Though there may be wet road ahead
And you cannot slip so what you wanna do
Just move on up for peace you will find
Into the steeple of beautiful people where there's only one kind



Read more: Curtis Mayfield - Move On Up Lyrics | MetroLyrics

When you two broke up the first time in September, you grieved the loss. When you got back together, you said it didn't feel the same anymore. That is your heart telling you it is wrong, that it's time to let go. I've been there. It can hurt so much that it is impossible to think about anything else. It will get easier every day...a little at a time. Give yourself permission to let go. Tell yourself that your going to put all the energy and love you wasted on him into your child and yourself. You are strong enough to handle this. You will get stronger every day. You can do this. You deserve to be loved. There will be someone that will come along that will offer their time, energy and love to you and your child and they will ask for nothing but the same in return. Just keep breathing.

a reply to: Brotherman

Thank you very much for checking up on me. I am doing better in fact. Everyone who has read my rant and given me kind of a smack over the head has helped tremendously. Sometimes I've learned it takes the views, opinions and/or advice of strangers to really get a point across and strike a chord.

For some reason the videos are not loading on my mobile device right now so I will have to check them out later.

Again thanks to all who have replied. The simple fact that you've all taken time out of your days to read and reapond to my problems is enough.

You guys are awesome

a reply to: PageLC14

If we are awesome that must mean you are awesome because your here. Never forget how awesome you are either or else your due for another rant and ass smacking =p

got some beers for us too!