What do you hold more dear: Truth or Friendship?

"Piety requires us to honour truth above our friends." — Aristotle.

One of my character flaws as a human being is my tendency in real-life interactions to agree with others even when I secretly disagree with their views. While I do encourage others to think critically and do so myself to the best of my ability, when it comes to the discussion of controversial topics, I usually perform the role of The Listener — nodding and agreeing with others as they offload their opinions onto me, as I fail to challenge them in an effort not to disturb the peace.

What compels me to do this? What stops me from correcting others or voicing disagreement? Is it fear of social ostracization? Not wanting to be "that" guy. Not wanting to be a "know-it-all" who thinks he is intellectually more gifted than others. But, I don't want this thread to be about me in particular, so I will stop there.

What I do wish to discuss in this thread is themes brought forth by the quote at the beginning. One of the key themes is whether you value truth over relationships. It's a tricky area because the vast majority of us are social creatures who want to be accepted and liked by other human beings. Our morals and sense of righteousness might threaten those things if we are open and honest about our views - especially on controversial topics.

The other important factor to acknowledge is that while truth/knowledge are desirable, they cannot laugh, cry or interact with you in the same way that human partnership can. Sure, you can uncover truth, but does truth spend time with you? Does it watch a movie and laugh together? Does it walk with you down to the park and discuss your favourite hobbies?

So what is my response to the title of this thread? I am not certain. I think both truthful knowledge and relationships with others carry their own types of significance that cannot be easily explained away. Those who say they value truth over friendship underestimate the relationships they have, and those who say friendships over truth underestimate the power of truth.

What do you think?

a reply to: Dark Ghost

My answer to your question..."What do you hold more dear: Truth or Friendship?"...is...

Truth and Friendship are both important...to me they walk hand in hand.

My best friend and I are (bottom line) honest with each other...we have some interesting debates and many times we do not agree with each other...but we always agree to respect the others viewpoint...and yes at times we have had some arguments and hung up on each other while talking on the phone...but we always forgive each other and are able to laugh about it and move on.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Friendship.

There is no Truth with a capital T. All we have is our own truth with a small t.

In my experience, most people who claim to value Truth really just value feeling significant. Wanting to feel significant is the enemy of friendship. People use Truth to feel important.

Valuing Truth with a capital T is what causes things like the terrorist attacks in Paris.

a reply to: Jamie1

Good points.

But a real friend would not make you have to decide between the two.

S & F

Truth is the key to everything. In order to hold a real friendship with someone, I need to be able to tell the truth even if that will hurt. And I expect the same with the other part. I have a friend that is the opposite of me (he is a traditionalist with a communism mindset, I'm more liberal (not too much) with a capitalist mindset, He has a hyper attitude, I'm more passive, He follows Hinduism, I'm a Christian protestant (Pentecostal), but our paths crossed somehow).

I respect his life, he respect mine. And what keeps our friendship? Is the fact that we are truth to each other.

Truth not necessarily means to have the right answer. But to be ourselves, not changing our personalities to hold dear or pretend. But be ourselves.

Truth!

Truth is all important.

There isn't a point of view with truth. It is either true or it is not.

Korg.

friendship.
As much as we all like to act like we are some paragon of justice, the truth is, oddly that sometimes a lie needs to be told, sometimes people don't want to hear the truth.

Friendship, to me, is paramount.

The truth is cold and indifferent. A necessary evil. Friendship can mend a broken heart, whereas truth may shatter it further. Don't get me wrong, I value the truth, but if I had to choose between knowing the truth and having friendship, my choice is easy.

Depends on the actual issue. Friendship normally. Being aware of the people around you, and what they can handle, understand, what they're struggling with, is being a friend. We need to be the friend we wish to have. It doesn't mean that the wrong words don't fly out at times, but then you're reflecting on your own interactions, to try and not overburden someone. Sometimes you don't bring up an issue, other times they're open. One of my closest friends has had her own lifelong experiences and is aware and open. Relatives are less so, and you don't overburden someone with your views.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I value truth above everything, but when it comes down to it, I often choose peace over truth. And honestly, it doesn't matter whether it's to a friend or not: I will tell a white lie to save the peace, to save from having truth war against the lie, if I think that the perceived threat of telling the truth would cause me to lose something I love. Call it picking my battles, or call me a coward, either way, you'd be right, I guess.

Funny though, how, when we do tell white lies, it is generally per someone else's request for affirmation of their truth...

It's something to think about.

I find it interesting and surprising that people who post to ATS should say anything other than truth...

Is the board's moto not 'Deny Ignorance'?

The implications of not choosing truth over friendship surely means you are more likely to eat up the OS and shy away from the TRUTH because it's less confrontational.

Korg.

originally posted by: Korg Trinity
I find it interesting and surprising that people who post to ATS should say anything other than truth...

Is the board's moto not 'Deny Ignorance'?

The implications of not choosing truth over friendship surely means you are more likely to eat up the OS and shy away from the TRUTH because it's less confrontational.

Korg.

I'm free to pursue the "truth" here because I have no "friends" here. I see no need to censor my thoughts, or to avoid saying certain things because I am not worried about the possible effect it will have on my real life friendships.

Truth must see the light of day before we can build a place where we can be friends.

originally posted by: ScientificRailgun

originally posted by: Korg Trinity
I find it interesting and surprising that people who post to ATS should say anything other than truth...

Is the board's moto not 'Deny Ignorance'?

The implications of not choosing truth over friendship surely means you are more likely to eat up the OS and shy away from the TRUTH because it's less confrontational.

Korg.

I'm free to pursue the "truth" here because I have no "friends" here. I see no need to censor my thoughts, or to avoid saying certain things because I am not worried about the possible effect it will have on my real life friendships.

Yes Anonymity is good, isn't it?

Korg.

originally posted by: Korg Trinity

originally posted by: ScientificRailgun

originally posted by: Korg Trinity
I find it interesting and surprising that people who post to ATS should say anything other than truth...

Is the board's moto not 'Deny Ignorance'?

The implications of not choosing truth over friendship surely means you are more likely to eat up the OS and shy away from the TRUTH because it's less confrontational.

Korg.

I'm free to pursue the "truth" here because I have no "friends" here. I see no need to censor my thoughts, or to avoid saying certain things because I am not worried about the possible effect it will have on my real life friendships.

Yes Anonymity is good, isn't it?

Korg.

Indeed. It allows one's innermost thoughts to frequently bubble to the surface, for better or worse.

True friends share some values. But the push towards truth above all. What is truth? I have a personal truth from experiences and very aware of the world. Do I force my opinions on others, not always, sometimes speak up certainly.

Its selfishness to put anything above other people. Basically its the trees, the living beings, we're supposed to love, and value and equalize and create happiness and joy for. Thoughts? This world, people are enslaving and killing living trees for the ISMs, the inferior thoughts in the head of the trees. The Person always comes first. live with Love and Peace and selflessness.

AND speak up for truth. But don't abuse others with your thoughts.

Truth is most important, choose your words wisely.

I have pi$$ed off my friends many times, but they know they are going to get an honest opinion.

originally posted by: Unity_99
True friends share some values. But the push towards truth above all. What is truth? I have a personal truth from experiences and very aware of the world. Do I force my opinions on others, not always, sometimes speak up certainly.

Its selfishness to put anything above other people. Basically its the trees, the living beings, we're supposed to love, and value and equalize and create happiness and joy for. Thoughts? This world, people are enslaving and killing living trees for the ISMs, the inferior thoughts in the head of the trees. The Person always comes first. live with Love and Peace and selflessness.

AND speak up for truth. But don't abuse others with your thoughts.

What is truth?

What is 2+2?

Peace,

Korg.

a reply to: Korg Trinity

Truth to many is: fundamental religions. fossil fuels based on materialism in physics and their big bang ideologies. economic and political and religious models. starvation and homelessness, and abuse of citizens, women and children and the world as a consequence. Many people will throw real flesh and blood humans to the side to sit comfortably in their ISMs.

a reply to: Unity_99

I see dishonesty at every level, the whole world embraces lies and propaganda.

I said the whole world, but it is not necessarily that they want to embrace a lie, but many are deceived willingly.