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'Twas The Week Before Christmas - A Prozac Carol

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posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 09:58 AM

Twas the week before Christmas
and I was starting to crack
Gifts still needed buying
and my cards were all maxed

I sat staring and panicked
like some Holiday loon
For I knew what was coming
I'd be Wal Marting soon

The drive there was painless
traffic wasn't that bad
But upon my arrival
there were no spaces to be had

After over an hour of circling
totally filled with dispair
I saw a space open
cutting off others just to park there

As I entered the building
what I saw blew my mind
It was like the Biblical description
of the end of mankind

Thousand of people
and they'd all lost their heads
Eyes empty and vacant
Like the real Walking Dead

There were two women fighting
over the last of some doll
A blue vested zombie
watched, numbed to it all

I reached into my pocket
and pulled out my list
Thank God it was simple
I'd soon be far far from this

Fighting through hordes
of consumers gone crocked
I selected my items
at least the ones still in stock

With hope and with courage
I had faced all my fears
Now I was struck with the terror -
only three open cashiers...

Something inside me
died a bit in that line
I stood there for hours
and let it rip at my mind

Tis the season for giving
which is all fine and well
but this season of buying?
It can all go to Hell.

Merry Christmas ATS!!!

edit on 12/20/14 by Hefficide because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 10:02 AM
a reply to: Hefficide



posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 10:03 AM
This is GREAT. Haha...hang in there!

Merry Christmas, Heff!

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 10:33 AM

1. To eagerly walk behind mindless consumers as they stop in the isle to look at something without a care in the world about who they just halted in their tracks.

2. Having groups of wangsters (Wal-Mart gangsters) walk side by side down an isle towards you expecting you to dart out of the way like there is some oncoming car. I've learned to just stand in place and let them walk into me. Idiots...

Nice creative poem!

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 10:41 AM
a reply to: Hefficide

Torn between laughing My Fu_-_in Ass off here and Crying for the truths in this all Heff!

Fantasticly Written!!! S+F For You!!! Remember to breath deep. This madness is nearly at an end.

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 10:47 AM
a reply to: eisegesis

Verb! LMFAO!!! I am always pissed at the Wagsters, to borrow Your Name for them, who don't step around You when they approach, and just slam into Your shoulder.
I Turn and give them The Glare of Death!
I can't stand rude people. Such a waste of flesh......

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 12:17 PM
a reply to: Hefficide

Cute. Very clever.

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 12:38 PM
Great poem, Heff.

I truly despise everything about what Christmas has been turned into. The mindless shopping, the wasted money and even showboating of decorations...all for what?

I'll still hand write cards and give huge hugs over gifts of plastic and garbage. We all could use more compassion.

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 01:12 PM
Is that what I have coming!!!!

*makes note to avoid Asda (UK) at all costs!*

Thank you so much for putting a smile on my face and a giggle in my and yours have a good one.


posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 01:41 PM
a reply to: Hefficide

Well that explained my last shopping day perfectly...

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 02:42 PM
Wow, epic! Thanks for the laugh, cause im in the same boat. Always love your posts and insight.

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 02:46 PM
Awesome Heff. Thanks for the laugh! Wally-worlding it....that was epic!

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 03:03 PM

edit on 20-12-2014 by DelegateZero88 because: being unpleasant

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 03:15 PM
a reply to: Hefficide
Hefficide - when I saw how long your carol was...I suspected that you would be no match for the beast.
But, coming out of the last line, I saw that I was wrong... You are another St. George...dragon slayer!
Thanks for the fun.

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 06:00 PM
a reply to: SyxPak
Psycho Killer - Prozac Carol
"I hate people when they're not polite"
I will try to keep my distance through Prozac Caroling season.

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 06:20 PM
a reply to: WanDash

LOL!!! It's good seeing You again!! I am pretty laid back and don't really hate much. But when people are begging for that reaction from Me, I will give them the Hate they are trying to receive. I guess I am feeding them, which is not right, but it is what it is My Friend!! And Yes, keep your distance with wide open eyes!! Use Your third eye and You can really see the Baddies out there!!!

We were at Wally world earlier today and it was mostly ok. But there were areas of grouped Idiots. Wangsters on the prowl.
The place was starting to get more crowded so it's good that we left when we did. Otherwise I may be writing a poem from hell of our experiences had we stayed!!! LOL!!!

posted on Dec, 20 2014 @ 08:55 PM
Love it!!!!

2nd line

posted on Dec, 21 2014 @ 04:59 PM
Love love love!!!
Such eloquence lolol!!!

posted on Dec, 21 2014 @ 05:27 PM
a reply to: Hefficide

Love it!!!! So amazing and epic!!!!

posted on Dec, 23 2014 @ 09:37 AM
a reply to: Hefficide

Ashamed to admit this, don't think bad of me
But one Christmas I worked at a Walmart you see

I needed some money, t'was only 3 weeks
And poor jacy was hired to greet all the freaks

I also was also instructed to inspect all the bags
That set off the alarms with their 'still active' tags

I felt really bad as I rummaged around
Thru their personal stuff til the culprit was found

The experience left me with PTSD
Cuz the management took a dislike to poor me

I wasn't a meek brainwashed employee
I voiced my opinions and they fired me

So now when I shop there, and rarely I do
I wear a stuffed dragon on my shoulder, it's true

I dance in the aisles and I talk to myself
Occasionally knocking stuff off of the shelf

So when you're in Walmart, be nice to the staff
And it's all so much easier, if you can laugh!!


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