X Jehovah's Witness and the story of my first Christmas

5 days till Christmas, so thought I would share my 1st Christmas story. I welcome all to share their uplifting stories too.
I was born into a devoted family of Jehovah's Witnesses in the late 1950's. So, I wasnt exposed to decorating, traditions, family dinners, Santa or presents. I learned the history of Christmas, its true origins of Saturn Worship, and paganism, and how more suicides occur during Christmas, blah blah blah, and was told that true Christians didnt celebrate Christmas. I was told over and over, Jehovah's Witnesses have the Truth". "We have the Truth" became a mantra or slogan among the faithful. "We have the truth" and only "the truth" will set you free"!

So, I asked my mom, "What does it mean that the "truth" would set you free?" Her reply was that "it sets you free from having to do things like celebrate the holidays". So, In my young mind, I was thinking, what if "I don't want to be set free from getting toys?" But, I continued in the faith without questioning the "Truth". How can you question "The Truth"? I was a pharisee of pharisee's. Spent my time going door to door preaching the good news of the Kingdom! You can be set free from celebrating Christmas!

At that time, the JWs were so sure that the end would come in 1975 that the young girls in the church, were married off at an alarming rate. I married at 16, and I was much older than most. Getting educated was considered too worldly, teens were encouraged to quit school and go into full time ministry going door to door to save the people. I was a 16 yr old virgin, and I had married a 24-year-old monster. 6 years and 3 kids later, I told what was happening to me, to a couple of my big sisters and they promptly moved me out of the situation. I immediately began to seriously reevaluate "The Truth according to the JWs". I started reading the bible and it didn't take me long to realize, these people are full of something besides God and Truth..

So, I left my husband, and I left my church. Now you can't just walk away from being a JW. When you leave, you leave all your family, and friends. I was an uneducated 22-year-old, with 3 children under 3 years old. No family, no friends, no support system of any kind. Living in constant fear that the end of the world was already overdue. If I ran into a friend, they would turn their back and not speak to me. To this day over 30 years later, I still have 3 sisters who will not speak to me. My mom starting talking to me about 5 years ago, when she got Alzheimer's and forgot she wasnt allowed to. But, 30 years ago, I was very confused. I didn't know a god of love, only a god to be afraid of, He just waited for you to screw up so He could punish you. Even though I had left the church, I was still under the spell of a cult religion. Waiting for Armageddon to kill us off for "Leaving Jehovah" I had truly been brain washed into believing the deadly JW lie. It was a seriously scary time for me.

I moved way out in the country. Bought chickens, and planted a garden, It was like 45 minutes from the nearest small town. I was constantly haunted by the fear that my children would die at Armageddon. It completely overwhelmed me. I looked at a lot of non christian religious teachings, searching for "truth" but none felt right. I even explored the occult, I had bought a tarot deck and on the way home the devil card kept falling out of the deck and onto my lap, it scared the crap out of me, so I threw them out the window. Lol I did get another deck, but thats another story. Anyway, I would look at my beautiful children and I knew I had no answers. And getting answers was the only way to deprogram the brainwashing. I would weep and pour my heart out hoping and praying that there really was a God. I couldn't see any possible way to support and care for my children and save them through Armageddon.

On one of those nights, of weeping and praying, I had an encounter that forever changed my life. I was in my living room stoking the fire. The kids and I had taken the wagon down to the creek and fished out some of the least soggy pieces of drift wood to burn. It was a cold clear winter night, and they were sound asleep in their room. The moon was full, and a million stars filled the sky.

I felt so small and alone, and I looked into the night sky and said "If there is a God, and your big enough to make the stars and the moon, why arent you big enough to tell me who you are? Are you Buddha? Are you Hindu? Are you Jehovah? Are you Jesus?"

It happened as I said the name of Jesus, something came over me. I thought I was a really pious good person, having been a devoted JW and all I had given up to pursue spiritual truth, but in that moment, every sin I had ever sinned crossed in front of my eyes. Like a death scene but only it was sin. I saw the candy bar I had stolen when I was about 5 or 6. Stupid #, self-righteous, things you would never tell anyone, ever. I fell on my face in utter disgust. I felt like a puddle of mud. I wanted to vomit from the ugly truth that was revealed inside my very own soul.

In the distance, I could sense and hear myself speaking, singing and pleading without my understanding or control, strange utterances from an unknown origin was pouring uncontrollably from my lips. I had no will to stop the flow, because as the out pouring continued, I felt wave after wave of peace and forgiveness and pure love poured in, out and through me. My living room was filled with a golden glow, and it wasn't the old wood stove.

I had no idea what had happened, I just knew it was connected to the name of Jesus and he was connected to the bible, so I began to reread it. The only one I had was the JW bible. A few days later, I woke up to find that a curtain had gotten into the fish tank that was sitting on my bookshelf and sucked all the water out of the tank and drowned every book I owned, which meant, my only bible, the JW bible was no longer readable.

A few days after that my kids and I were walking down the road and a women in a bright red Cadillac drove up and said,"Gods telling me to give you a bible". I didn't realize until much later that it was her personal bible that she had given me. The bible was a King James, which is the only version the JWs recognize besides their own.The columns on every page had handwritten scriptures and footnotes, It sort of led me into so many truths.

I tore into it, trying to understand What had happened to me. I had questions that I simply couldn't answer. I analyzed and continued to pester God about it. So, early one morning, I awoke to a stranger knocking at my door. He held a piece of paper in his hands and said, "I was awakened in the middle of the night by an angel and he told me to write down these scriptures, and on my way to work this morning, I was told to stop by your house and give them to you." He turned around got into his truck and drove away. I learned later that he owned the local feed store, and had never done such a thing. I was very glad he did because the scriptures he wrote down were the ones that held the key to answering my questions of what happened to me on that frosty night.

Continued:
A couple of years later I was ready to put down the JW belief system and was really ready to celebrate Christmas. I did have a small tree the year before, but my kids had gone to their dads for the holiday, so this was the first 'real' Christmas, and after all we had been through it was a welcome distraction. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how poor we were. But, I deeply enjoyed making ornaments and decorating our humble tree with my little ones. It didn't really matter if there were gifts under the tree, we just enjoyed creating it. We had no expectations of getting presents.

Although I believed I had an encounter with a very loving being a few years earlier, and I thought it was an angel or it could have been Jesus, I was still testing everything, and didn't trust even my own experience. So, I went through some very real analysis, was Satan transforming himself into an angel of light? Was it an alien trying to trick me? I knew there was way too much synchronicity and coincidences for it to not have been orchestrated somehow, so I decided to test God.

I realized that I had nothing to give my children for Christmas except for the memories of making candy and ornaments, So, I said to God "OK, if that really happened and you really are God, then please bless my children for Christmas, and I am freezing, so I need a flannel night-gown, and I would like some perfume, and If your really God, I would like to have duck for Christmas." I laughed at myself and soon forgot the prayer.

A few days later, I stopped at the local thrift shop, and as I was about to walk in, a women walked up with 2 bags in her hand and said, I thought I was supposed to give these to the thrift shop, but I just know that I'm supposed to give them to you. So, I put them in my car without looking, thanked her and went in the thrift shop. When I got home, I excitedly dumped those bags in the middle of my bed, to see what treasures were waiting for me, and OMG, there wasn't 1 flannel night-gown in the whole pile, there were 7 new flannel night gowns, three still in their unopened packaging.

Shortly there after my friend came over with a bag of stuff, and said, I was cleaning off my dresser and I thought you and your daughter might like this stuff. And one by one, she pulls out bottle after bottle of expensive perfume, along with hair ties, and brushes and make-up. I will never forget it.

The next morning my neighbor from down the street stopped by, pulling her sons wagon, explaining that she needed to make room in her freezer, and thought we could use the frozen foods she no longer had space for. While putting away the wagon full of food in my bare empty freezer, I happened upon a duck for Christmas. (I can't tell this story without sobbing) The guy who dropped off the scriptures, stopped by again early in the morning on his way to work, but instead of scriptures he handed me a Christmas card with $50.00 and said "Merry Christmas, get your kids some toys". Later on that day the local church came by with bags of groceries and more gifts for the kids. I still have a ratty old stuffed rocking horse, a precious church lady hand made for my kids first Christmas.

Since that Christmas of over 30 years ago, I've learned a lot, I don't negate any ones belief system. There are many masters, but for me I choose to believe in Jesus. Santa Clause isnt real, but the Spirit of God proved to me that He listens, cares and is truly real.

There is a lot of sadness at Christmas, so please share your stories.

I don't have much time before carting my kids off to school, but thank you for sharing!

The best Christmas I ever had was when my family was too poor to buy gifts, but we had enough for Christmas dinner. I tell my kids about it a lot, to show its the family and Christ that matters for me.

Thank you for this great story of faith in God and love.

I have been studying for the past year now with an elder from the local Kingdom Hall, although I have never attended a meeting. Myself believe without a doubt there is a god who loves and wants us to love what he does and can do for us. I was raised Catholic but never agreed with them, almost feel the same with JW.

Reading this has helped me solidify my belief that they are all about control. I know this is off topic and apologize. Could be you showed me the answer I have been praying and searching for.

a reply to: IncognitoGhostman

I rarely share my story, but I felt compelled to, this morning. There is a reason for all things, and you were probably the reason. "You will know them by their fruits". A loving God would never ask a family to treat a member the way I have been treated. Keep searching for truth. I have never found it in religious activities. As pointed out in another of todays posts, Its all about Compassion. Love one another.

I'm so glad to hear you were able to get away from the JW's while your children were still young. I was never one of them, but had run-ins with them years ago. I was a fundamentalist, and they made me feel quite liberal in comparison. They're a hard-core bunch.

The other Christians on this site should take note. THIS is how you share your faith. Not by ramming it down everyone's throat with a list of bible quotes. I wish you the very best Christmas yet...

a reply to: Klassified

Thank you for your kind reply, It took me years to deprogram the brainwashing of my youth. I am the most grateful for the fact that my Children were spared that life, and even though I am sure my Armageddon syndrome effected them some, they didnt have to go through the fear and torment I had to deal with. I am from a long line of JWs, starting with my great-grandfather.

After all these years I am still bad at Christmas. LOL I should have said this in my opening post:

I WISH EVERYONE A CHRISTMAS, FILLED WITH LOVE, PEACE, AND JOY.

a reply to: misskat1

I wont get into all the details...but a Christmas very long ago found me in an empty house, with no money, no food, job or hope.

I sat in the living room without any furniture, on the floor with a single shot 12 gauge shotgun in my lap in the darkness. I was trying to figure out how and why I should stick around.

Suddenly...the entire room began to fill with a bright light getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the whole room was lit up.

It was my father with a bag of groceries and a couple $$$.

Out of sadness and despair, came hope, love and charity.

Dad passed away 28 years ago...today.

Blessings to you! MS

a reply to: mysterioustranger

Thank you for sharing. What a wonderful memory of your dad. Blessings back at ya!!

originally posted by: misskat1
After all these years I am still bad at Christmas. LOL I should have said this in my opening post:

I WISH EVERYONE A CHRISTMAS, FILLED WITH LOVE, PEACE, AND JOY.

I don't understand this part, what led you to believe that Christmas was a good thing when it is not regardless of your religion? people do it to fit into what is essentially a world controlled by Satan at this time. The fact that Satan could offer Jesus control of it tells us this.
The Love and Joy and Peace should be an ongoing daily thing not anything to do with a certain day.:-(

I think this story, and your wishes of peace and goodwill are very welcome! Again, thank you for sharing. I was moved to tears this morning when I read it!

a reply to: Char-Lee

I get exactly where you are coming from, and I too struggled with the bad vs the good of Christmas. I still do at times. I have gone through seasons of feeling it was the most unchristian holiday ever, and Ive gone through seasons of just grateful that I have managed to create traditions for my family.
I think celebrating it is a personal choice. And I do wish you Love, Peace and Joy for the whole year. Its just a Tradition or Custom to Wish a person well for the holidays, and for me, Christmas is about traditions. It was very hard as a child to see my neighbors gathered at their tables with big food and fun toys while I stood on the outside looking in, I felt singled out, unworthy. So, even though Im still not really good at celebrating Christmas, I hope no one ever has to feel like they dont matter.

a reply to: misskat1

It was very hard as a child to see my neighbors gathered at their tables with big food and fun toys while I stood on the outside looking in, I felt singled out, unworthy. So, even though Im still not really good at celebrating Christmas, I hope no one ever has to feel like they dont matter.

It is very sad to feel that way and I know I felt that way as a child but not because of Xmas. Simply because we were very poor and Xmas make as poor child feel like dirt, one more reason it is evil as heck. It is sad you did not learn that that toys and extravagant food does not make you a better person.

Still as I see it our personal feel good should not even come into our love and respect for Jesus. He turned down the whole world being offered to him and let himself be killed, surely I can turn down this evil vile corporate trap knowing the roots of it and what it still is now.

How would I feel if my husband always went to a special restaurant and bought a special gift when he was with his ex wife on her January 1st birthday. Then he continues to call January 1st my birthday with the same special gift and restaurant trip.

a reply to: Char-Lee

I feel like I have been able to overcome the corporate trap part of Christmas. I think how a person responds to the holidays is their own personal choice. If it doesn't feel right to you, or if you feel that sharing good will at Christmas is a bad thing then just reserve your giving to days that arent Christmas oriented.

Hi MissKat and Char Lee.... Kat, your story if very touching, and I was wondering when someone would speak up about the evil twist that is Christmas. It's not easy to do, and Char lee I appreciated your words as well. I was raised a devout Roman Catholic (RC) which has so much tradition it's very hard to get away from as well. When you leave the RCC it is like a death experience. No, families don't shun you as JW's or Orthodox Jews do, but you suffer for it. I finally truly understood the difference in believing in Jesus / Yeshua and knowing him back in 1987. It was life altering and happened a month before I was graduating college with big plans to move to NYC and begin conquering the world of high end marketing.

I devoured the bible. The woman God used to help me know the truth and have my heart awakened and changed gave me two bibles. I was ignorant because the RCC does not want us reading the bible, so they print out passages from it and tell us what to think. I cannot thank God enough for that first year of truly reading HIS word and believing it. I don't care what tradition I love, if it is offensive to God, then I am hurt by doing it. I am not perfect by any means. I have my heart convicted about Christmas as it is an affront to God. It has ruined so many lives with commercialism. When you lean the truth about the history of this ridiculous holiday in America, you really have to ask, "Why am I participating in this grotesque display of worldliness wrapped up in fake love?"

The bible clearly tells us to never cut down a tree, fix it to stand so it won't fall over and decorate it. That is what pagans did, and renaming it in God's honor does not help. It's lipstick on a pig. Jesus / Yeshua celebrated the Feasts of the Lord as did ALL the disciples. Chanukah while not a feast was also observed by Yeshua, and you see the most beautiful symbolism in it for when they lit the first candle on the Chanukah menorah called the shamash candle which means servant, that is when Jesus declared he is the light of the world, and he also told us to be servants in love. If I love him, and I do, why would I not follow in his example and be His witness in a hurting world that so desperately needs true love?

Yes, I have wonderful childhood memories around Christmas. I can create wonderful ones around Chanukah with my children. I don't think anyone is going to hell for celebrating Christmas, but I do think my Lord and Savior is disappointed that we have been lied to and conned into this false day of worship. I feel like we got an invitation to the Kings celebration and miracles and we accepted his enemies offer of a tawdry party down by the cesspool.

a reply to: UnifiedSerenity

Interesting, because, I prefer to honor the Chanukah traditions instead of Christmas now as well. I still make sure the little ones get something from Grandma, because I dont want them to feel like they didnt have anything coming. If I was just starting my family on new traditions, it wouldnt be christmas it would be Chanukah. I dont decorate my house anymore, I havent for many years. I dont think my blessing came because of Christmas, I think it came because I had a sincere desire to know if God is real.
Thank you for opening up this most welcome dialog. The Word says "We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony", so the point of my thread, was not to bash anyones Celebrations, or belief systems, or to thump them with the bible, but to share my personal testimony of my personal experience with the living Creator. We all must work out our own salvation. I dont think anyone will go to hell if they celebrate Christmas either. So, rather than offend anyone with my own truth where Christmas is concerned, I tried to focus on "being all things to all people" meet them where they are. Im not really trying to Save anyone either, because a persons spiritual awakening is different for different people, and I just can not be the judge of anyone, because over the course of the last 30+ years since my "experience" the only thing I know for sure, is that I really know nothing except Jesus Christ and him Cruicified.

a reply to: misskat1

That was a beautifull story. FYI, there is nothing evil about Christmas if you understand that it is a celebration of Jesus' birth and His dedication as the temple incarnate. It was celebrated on December 10th through the 17th. The days can vary by a day or two depending on when the Vernal Equinox occurs that year.

That is one of the most powerful testimonies about answered prayer that I have read in a long time.

Thanks...

Nita Johnson wrote an article about a supernatural encounter she had once on a Christmas morning...

On Christmas morning in 1997 I was awake and praying knowing that I would soon be heading downstairs to share Christmas with my daughter and her family.

But this morning in 1997 I was also feeling apprehensive and I didn't know why. Why would I feel troubled about such a joyful time? As I continued praying about it the L-rd gave me a vision. Standing before me in an open vision I saw a Christmas Tree beautifully decorated with presents tucked all around the bottom. Across from the tree I saw Messiah hanging upon a cross weeping. He looked at me and cried: "The foxes have spoiled the whole tree." I responded: "L-rd, what do you mean?"

He then took me into the spirit and let me see things through His eyes and feel what He felt. He moaned:

"Christmas is not about Me and what I gave on the cross. It is about greed and gifts and teaching My children the ways of the world. It is about what each one can get and moaning over what they don't get. It fosters greed and rebellion in the hearts of My precious children, while the poor and the needy go without. This is not My way; it is not My holiday. It is mans!

The merchants have totally perverted the joy of My birth and have turned the focus on satisfying the craving of man's lust. My children are not taught to forget themselves and seek the interest of the poor and needy. It is a holiday that is a complete perversion of my ways."

I realized that Christmas, although many Churches put on pageants and plays about Christ and His birth, truly is a pagan holiday. No matter how we try to dress it up, it really isn't about our beloved Messiah. It is about us!

Where Is Christ In Christmas?

a reply to: Murgatroid

Very well said!!!