The 2014 SAD / Holiday Depression Discussion Thread

Just received bad news and am sick/tired, now I feel like crap. Sad and exhausted. Just wanted to write it somewhere, it helps

I'm a bit of a late comer to the party, but it's helped reading this thread, I don't feel like the only one not having a wonderful cheery Christmas season.

We lost my husband's younger sister to cancer last November and his older sister just this last February to kidney failure among many other health problems. When a person passes the shock and pain are so strong at first, but it's not until times like the holidays that it really, truly sinks in that that person is permanently, absolutely gone forever.

It's just been a bummer season. One of my jobs is as a church secretary. No, I'm not religious, and after seeing the inside of the churchworld, I'm even less of a believer than before I started there. Anyway, the financial situation has reached the breaking point to where the options are either close the doors or merge with another church. The negativity from some people regarding the situation is almost too much to handle. I'm looking for another job, but no success yet. But I keep looking.

The front brakes went out on my car and the shop discovered that my fuel lines were leaking. Combined, that was over $500 to fix. I absolutely did not want to part with the money, but a new car is out of the budget, so Santa brought my car lots of goodies this year, I guess.

Hubby has the yard all decorated and the tree up, but I just don't care, to be honest. If I could, I'd pack it all back up and say forget it. I got him a present before all the car crap started and that's going to be about it this year.

Thanks for listening, and to all of the previous posters, I do understand how you feel, and my thoughts are with you.

a reply to: Cheddarhead

Wow, that's a lot of bad luck Wish you the best if that means anything.

Seems like some dark days going around, so I wanted to share this video here that I saw today. It's some grinch-y kitties causing destruction and mayhem. I don't like cats, but there is something quite uplifting about watching these cats destroy christmas stuff! Give it a try, I promise, you might even crack a little bit of a smile.

My mother-in-law will be here in 5 days. dun-dun-duuuun. I'm keeping busy with deep cleaning. Do you have any idea how much german shepherd hair collects behind large appliances in 3 months time???

Also, drinking two cups of coffee after dinner is horrible idea. You might find yourself perusing ATS for a really really long time instead of being asleep.

But anyway, I hope this video helps.

Well freaking bleeping bleep. Video wouldn't show (yes, I copied just the number part). Then I edited and tried again, and it wouldn't show and arrrrghhhh. So I'm trying this just as another reply, sorry, that's so annoying. Here's the stupid bleeping cat video that was pleasant but has now become annoying.... i just want to share the dang cat video... omg... gahhhh. I'll try direct link instead of imbedding. god.


stupid bleeping cat video




Why wouldn't my edits 'take' on my previous post???

a reply to: Hefficide

Thank you. That almost made my head explode. I felt like a total newbie again for a moment.

a reply to: MojaveBurning

Don't feel bad, I had to try twice and found a code tweak that fixed it.

it's been a fairly good day today it's not even cold outside so it feels like autumn
hehe, I'm quite hyped and I don't even want to go to sleep to escape today.
hope everybody else is doing fine

Just checking in here to express my wishes that things get better for us all...after an entire week of dealing with sudden health issues of two close relatives, a couple of days without quality sleep....and having not gotten much holiday stuff done....I'm ready to just cancel the whole deal or at least postpone it for a month or so.
The only bright spots are that one relative is doing much better and got to come home from the hospital and the other got a good report on testing done. But there is more to come next week so I have no idea when Christmas prep is gonna happen. Since we don't have any little folks around it isn't the same...
The other bright spot was that I did get to go about handing out Christmas cards with cash to several folks today so I got a lot of smiles! Once I found out that ATS didn't want my cash donation, several folks got really nice Christmas tips. "Paying it forward" with pictures of ole Benjamin brings me the most cheer this time of year.
The Christmas of my adult life that stands out for me was 1982. It was my second Christmas as a single mom with no child support. I had been putting every extra dollar toward the debt I was saddled with when my ex disappeared into the sunset. When my Christmas Club check came in November I realized that if I put half of it toward my debt I could start the new year debt-free! But that would mean cutting back drastically on buying Christmas presents for family and friends. I agonized over it and decided to be a responsible adult and pay off my debt. For family and friends I made each one a personalized Christmas ornament and chocolate chip cookies. That began a tradition that I've kept up---everyone who comes to our home at Christmas leaves with at least a dozen chocolate chip cookies and a handmade Christmas ornament.
That was also the year I was visited by a Christmas angel. As I was putting on my coat to leave work on Christmas Eve I reached into my pocket for my gloves and out popped a $100 bill! In 1982, to a struggling single mom, that was a fortune! I'm fairly sure I know who put it there, who put the same thing in every coat on the rack but he always swore it was a Christmas angel that had visited. I vowed that someday I would be the Christmas angel.
I was fortunate to find a partner that shared my hopes and dreams and was willing to work toward those dreams. Nothing gives us more pleasure than being blessed by sharing our good fortune.
My Christmas angel has indeed become an angel now but I honor his memory by carrying on his secret Christmas angel traditions.

Hi guys been thinking about everyone on this thread and hoping that you are all still surviving this holiday season. My wife got news this morning that her father has had some kind of stroke so she has taken the kids and headed off to the big smoke to be with her parents. Goes to show that life can change in an instant and you cannot plan for stuff. I may be spending Christmas by myself like old times but that is the least of my worries at the moment. I have been sick with something that comes and goes.
I used to really dislike my father in law as I thought he was a smart alec but when I found out how he grew up I have softened a bit. His father was a violent drunk and came home one night and threw him against a wall putting his head through it. He woke up in the bath 2 days later. He was only 13. Last year when he had an x-ray of his head they found that he had evidence of massive trauma to one side of his head that he was unaware of. I wonder if that has anything to do with the stroke all these years later.
As a kid he was forced to shoot feral rabbits to try and feed the family but when he came home one day his mother had taken the younger kids and cleared out to the city. She had had enough of the violence and poverty. They were so poor that my father in law had no shoes at all and went about barefoot everywhere.
So the poor fellow must have had all kinds of issues. I feel very sad about his story now as we have found out more stuff but I won't bore you with any more. Just had to get it off my chest. Wishing everyone the best if I don't speak to you before Christmas.

Hi, not feeling sad with my personal world this holiday season but my friend just lost her husband to a hit and run driver. He had failed to return from a bike ride and after about five hours she found him dead in a ditch covered in mud. She has two kids, eight and ten I think, who now have no dad. Christmas will never be the same for them.

The guy who did it was found due to parts of his truck left at the scene and released on $2000 bail and probably having Christmas with family. He says he thought he hit a deer and was only charged with leaving the scene of an accident having done bodily harm.

What is most tragic is those five hours, where just maybe my friend's husband might have lived had the driver called 911.

I'm sad for her and kind of haunted by it. Thanks for listening.

a reply to: igloo

So sad to hear that. My sisters eldest son's father was lost in a similar manner. Sadly she discovered she was pregnant days after he was struck. My condolences.

a reply to: grumpy64

You're not sailing the Christmas alone boat by yourself this year. Over the past two days our family plans have changed and I, too, will be at home alone for the Holiday. The original plan was for my youngest nephew and mother to come to Atlanta for the Holiday. Then my mother had to have emergency surgery a few days ago ( she's fine now but has been advised not to travel ) and the nephew was offered double time if he'd work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas ( he works for a major worldwide company that makes just about everything from cars to electronics. He builds industrial transformers for them ).

My sister decided that she'd head to Florida to visit mom and that was that. Now I'm "home alone" for four or five days.

Ironically, I am actually OK with it all. I spent last Christmas in a group environment and everything was sort of over the top. Every single night, for two weeks, some Church or organization came in to throw us a party or to bring gifts. It was exhausting. A quiet Christmas sounds quite nice this time around.

I just wanted to pop in to say an early Merry Christmas to everyone! Today is also the shortest and darkest of the year, it only gets brighter after today! So, happy solstice too!!

Heff, thanks for the thoughts the other day, just the fact that you responded helped immensely. Honestly, the fact that this is chemical never even crossed my mind until then. It has helped a lot in my dealing with it. It has helped me to adjust my supplement intake to even things out, and my happy light is in the mail. Haha, my family thanks you for that matter too!! I hope you enjoy your quiet Christmas this year.

To everyone else here, if anyone needs someone to talk to, anytime, my u2u is always open! There are always brighter days!!

For everyone, straight from my garden of endless days, one bright face!

yup yup, very very dark day today
went for a short ride, just sitting around, scrolling ATS & FB, drinking fruity tea, eating lychees, listening to music ... just waiting for the sleeping time to come let tomorrow be more entertaining
btw, the christmas tree is standing still in my living room already! I don't like it though, haha

a reply to: Hefficide

Hope this video can bring some cheer

Chic Fil A being closed is about as SAD as it gets for me on holidays.

Sunday's are a real b/tch as well.

a reply to: Eunuchorn

Kill time shopping at Tesco's opened 24/7 !!

a reply to: grumpy64

You're definitely not the only one being alone this year - In my case, the one person that I actually want to be with isn't able to get off work for the holidays, so it looks like it'll be my cat & me staring at each other. She'll be deciding to risk jumping on the tree, and I'll be staring to dare her to try.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm not much a fan of the holidays because after the family has left, you come to realize that it's only you in your apartment; there's no-one else.

Looks like I'll be on ATS Christmas Eve, which isn't a bad thing.

-foss