The 2014 SAD / Holiday Depression Discussion Thread

a reply to: Hefficide

Chin up dear chap. With all the activity that's been going on with your thanksgiving it's probably the calm after the storm and you are now focusing on things about you rather than having the distractions of others around you.

Perhaps you are a little like me in that you are great at giving cheer, time and positive stuff to others but not so good when it comes to yourself. Sometimes we just have to sit tight, realise we must ride time and wait for normality to catch up. The bit in between can be a pain and "hibernation" is often the key for me(sleep/cocoon).

Yes, furry friends help an incredible amount. My 3 kitties keep me going in times of doom and gloom.

3 CHEERS FOR HEFF.... HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!

I'll add on a couple that I've noticed I've been doing lately; Hope it helps some:

1. Go out and do something; you might not be feeling up for it, but do it anyway. Take a walk, go bowling, see a late night movie (heck, find a 24-hour store and go shopping at 2:00am). Put your focus somewhere else.

2. Help someone else out/volunteer: Volunteering is one of those things that I found actually helps my mood, because in a way, when you do it, it's not about you, but rather about the people you help. When you see someone else less fortunate than yourself crack a smile, or them wanting to sit by you because they have no-one else to do so, that feeling will take away any depression you have.

3. Pick up an instrument - For those of us that are musicians, our instrument is the artist's paintbrush; I can, will, and have literally spent hours practicing, and by the end of it, I come away with a smile. When you're newer at one, it's easier to get lost in your playing; older, it's harder to put it down once you pick it up.

-foss

Just bumping this to say today's been an OK day, and to make sure everyone else in ATSland is dealing with the Holiday stress and depression effectively.

a reply to: Hefficide

Things here OK thanks, just trying very hard to ignore all the plastic rubbish lining the isles of every supermarket at the moment.

Once again, letting this get seen in case there is anyone out there struggling. It's been a meh day here, but things are good despite the rain, dreary weather, and impulse to let myself get down.

Chins up! We're going to survive Christmas!

a reply to: Hefficide

nah, today I'm kinda losing it but yeah... keep on livin' guys

a reply to: Necrose

Don't let yourself lose it. Remember, when it's all said and done, it's a temporary thing. It's a day. There are more days ahead and not all of them will be like this one. Permanent solutions to temporary answers don't make sense. Take a deep breath, accept it for what it is, and keep looking forward. Even if the tunnel ahead is pitch dark, know that a light will eventually appear and start to come closer.

Besides, without bad days, how would we know to treasure the really good ones?

Chin up!

a reply to: Hefficide

I would need the Dumbledore's Deluminator on a day like this...hah, I always remember this line from Harry Potter:

"First, to Ronald Bilius Weasley, I leave my Deluminator, a device of my own making, in hope that - when things seem most dark - it will show him the light.”

Thank m8, I'll try to cheer up. Real Madrid is playing within 10 minutes, so I am gonna grab a can of beer and just relax for a while. Studying is really depressing, especially when you are studying crappy pharmacy

It appears it is my turn to have a really off day. I am coping, but man it is difficult to do at times.

I don't know about the rest of you but one of my symptoms / signals is hibernating. If I wake realizing that I have slept 12-18 straight hours - I know that my body chemistry is gone awry. Such was the case today. Went to bed early last night - woke up at noon today - easily fifteen hours of straight sleep.

At that point, even as the realization that a depression was happening, I did what I know must be done. I continued living and my standard rituals ( I hate to use that word, as they denote more than they actually are - they are more just a few structured behaviors that depressed people tend to ignore... things like taking meds, eating, being productive. )... So I downed my morning meds, showered, dressed and cleaned up the house a bit.

Regarding the "rituals" - I learned a long time ago that depression robs us of the motivation to do the simple things. So, as part of my rebirth and growth I committed to making sure that, no matter what... depression, flu, nuclear war... I would always follow a set routine, for certain things, no matter what. It really does help. It's the difference between being upright and being bedridden.

Having said all that - now I am caught up trying to find distraction. I began watching my copy of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" - but just couldn't get absorbed in it. So now I am surfing Netflix, looking for some mindless show, something new to me, that I might waste an hour or two on - while my medication teaches my body chemistry a lesson!

I hope you're all having a better day than your humble OP.

a reply to: Hefficide
Hypersomnia is better than Insomnia i guess...
When you have hypersomnia, you are *at least* not aware of all the bad things and stuff going on..while when not sleeping and wide awake the entire night can make you go crazy ...

Usually, I feel very depressed and sleepy all day long but when it comes to sleeping I can't quite fall asleep that easily, nor do I sleep for a long period of time, yet I wake up and I am sleepy again...and it's a never ending cycle really... Which just supports the perpetual self-frustration and desperation....

Actually, my day was not anything better, i was on the train for 5 hours and now i am at my dorm, knowing i have to get up early tomorrow ..and it's already past midnight ..
Geez.. I'd better go!

Good luck with the rest of your day! Try eating some french fries or crisps! Enjoy the bloody potatoes!!! lets eat potatoes!! And remember, FRIENDS ARE LIKE POTATOES, when you EAT them, they DIE
Hooo

Edit::
What kind of medication are you taking if I may ask

a reply to: Necrose

You may! 20 mg of Celexa, once per day in the AM. 2 mg Klonopin at night.

That is a very, very light regimine of medications but that is by design. For thirty years I had to deal with ever changing doctors ( my family moved a lot and I've kind of kept the habit as an adult ) and they always wanted to throw tons of meds at me - usually meds I'd already tried and had reactions to or did not like ( Seroquel, Trazodone, Cymbalta, Effexor, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Buspar - and a host of others. ). Either allergic reactions or horrible side effects ensued.

I eventually found a really good doctor who helped me work out a minimalist medication program with two meds that both work.

a reply to: Hefficide

Beat me to it lol, Glad it was you though, poignant post as always.

This is my second year of not being single or on my own this year, but as always I need to trek over half the country to allow my youngest daughter to see her mother for the holidays. So between Friday of this week, and around Jan 2nd, I will be on my own. Unfortunatley Miss T. has her business which doesn't close,a nd my daughter is getting to the teenager "friends are more important" stage, so they will both stay behind.

Which, basically leaves me almost three weeks to contemplate life again. So, as always, I find my online extended family here as a support group. It's funny how this little international community always manages to come together when someone or even people really need it. The support, even though it is not face to face, is often tangible here, and it speaks volumes for the quality of the membership here.

As always, the inbox is open to any friends that wish to chat or talk, or even vent and rage.

a reply to: 74Templar

This has been a mixed bag of a week for me, emotionally speaking. First off, in a yearly ritual that always happens, my allergies go ballistic right before Christmas - and stay that way for a few weeks after. My particular allergy is mold and 'tis the rainy / wet season here which leads to a lot of mold.

So I've been under the weather.

But the bright side is that over the past year I got in touch with both of my estranged children - even spent some time with my son, as he lives in Georgia as I do. But then there's the sixteen year old daughter who lives in Texas...

I cannot begin to express how joyful I felt to sit here, on this computer, purchasing gifts to ship to her. My budget is pretty tight and I'll possibly have to cut corners later on this month, but I was on cloud nine being able to finally buy my baby girl Christmas. I won't say what I bought her because she's sly, like her Dad, and might lurk here, reading my posts - but I am fairly confident that she's going to be happy. That thought makes ME happy!

Then again she's sixteen and might shrug and say "What, you couldn't afford to buy me a car?". LOL

a reply to: Hefficide

The golden rule of children, particularly girls, is whatever you get, it isn't right.

My solution was gift vouchers to the stores she chose. Surf shops, sports stores, the like. That way she spends the money on what she wants, and if it's wrong, well guess whose fault it aint....

Regardless, it's always fun to play guesswork with presents, and you'd have the fun of catching up. I'm pretty certain that no matter what you get her, it will hold a certain sentimental value that no $ amount could replace.

Being under the weather sucks, no matter the season. Not too sure just how the weather goes in Atlanta, whether it gets snowy or just cold and rainy there, but here it's summer. Nothing worse than a cold when it's 40C outside. All I can suggest is to try eucalyptus atomized, if you can get ahold of a nebulizer. I use one in summer here as it gets humid here, and plays merry hell at times with the senses, and it really does clear everything up. Plus it makes the house smell good too.

a reply to: 74Templar

I'm on the south side of town. Atlanta is right on the boundary of the snow/no snow line. North of town - 45 minutes away - can get inches of snow when we only get rain here.

Having said that, it's currently 29.6 degrees which, for a tropical zone ( especially since I spent a year south of here ) is enough to do it. LOL

a reply to: Hefficide

I have seen this thread several times and continued past. I guess today is the day to get involved. Thank you for this opportunity to share. I have SAD. ATS has kind of turned into my winter hideout so to speak.

This time of the year is always the hardest. The stress, the lack of sunshine, the inability to get outside for any meaningful activity all starts to catch up right around now. Christmas preparations have always kept things occupied and festive to combat some of it, but this year I just want to snap at people at the smallest of things. We aren't even to solstice yet and there are only six hours of light right now. The sky brightens at around ten and goes dark again around four. With this year's rain and lack of snow things have actually gotten darker than normal. Usually at least with the snow we are building snowmen and going sledding. This year the ice fishing gear and the snowshoes are still buried in the shed.

Holidays are hard anyway after some major family losses in recent years, and this year is aggravated by our inability to participate in the social festivities of the season. My son has been fighting some health issues and was put on a beyond strict diet until just after the new year, and it has kept us at home even more than normal. That is saying quite a bit since I might leave my house once a week tops, I have stayed home for three weeks straight before. I probably come across as a raving crazy lady here, but often I just need to vent. I don't want my kids to see me break down, my oldest has witnessed it once, never again if I can avoid it.

I have come to a point in my life that I have given up on asking for help. I have reached out to friends, family and even counselors only to receive silence as a response. I understand people get busy in life, but come on even a paid counselor can't call me back to make an initial appointment. I guess I got lucky and my naturopath has helped a lot. It's amazing how much a mega dose of vitamin B6 can help lift you out of the funk a bit.

I feel guilty then as a result. I have a beautiful family. My young sons are smart and fun, and I love my husband dearly. He is patient and loving beyond belief. I even have the ability to stay home with my kids, to raise them myself and teach them myself. We have grown close in amazing ways and I'm so grateful to spend my time learning and bonding with my kids. They grow so fast. There is really no reason for life to hurt so badly, and yet it reduces me to tears on an almost daily basis this year. I guess I will do what I do every year and remind my self of the unending golden days of summer chaos, and remember too how I even long for the peace of winter during the most beautiful and hectic time of the year. If only I could cut the seasons and shuffle them like a deck of cards to achieve more of an equilibrium. It's one of the downfalls of living by nature's seasons and not man's schedules.

John, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones. I have always enjoyed reading what you have to say, even before I joined. I appreciate your outreach more than you know. It feels good to vent and not feel like a complete ass for it.

a reply to: woodsmom

Thank you for your kind words and for sharing!

One thing I want to address is your apparent feelings of guilt. You've got nothing to feel guilty about. It sounds like you have a very blessed life and that you almost feel shame over feeling that you do not appreciate it enough. Am I right?

If so, remember, it's chemicals. It's not you. It's not a choice. It's not selfishness. It's a cross for you to bear and cope with. Also remember that you need not carry that cross alone - many of us are here to help!

Together we'll all make it through.

originally posted by: Hefficide It's not a choice.

exactly. IT chooses YOU.

I don't know if it belongs here as I'm not actually depressed; that usually happens around February. But I'm done with having immense difficulties waking up, kicking myself out of bed, and being tired and low on energy for the remainder of the day. I hope I can improve soon because *urgh*. Today while I was outside some sunshine broke through the thick cloud layer and it immediately lifted my mood. I think it says something and perhaps I should use on of those lamps...? Not that they're cheap or affordable right now, though.

Good luck to all at living through this winter as good as possible.

a reply to: Hefficide

Yeah, that's it.
Thank you! I don't really even know what else to say right now, except thank you.