The 2014 SAD / Holiday Depression Discussion Thread

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originally posted by: SpaDe_
I have tried working out more, tanning, vitamins, and nothing really seemed to make it go away.

It can be hard to deal with for some, but realising one IS suffering can often help in the battle against it. The psycological effects can sometimes be lessened just in having the knowledge one gets it each year and the confusion of why one is feeling down is replaced with acceptance leaving one to deal with the physiological side as best as one can.

Support from others goes a long way and research brings what was a mystery into the light....pun intended.

Although shorter hours of light are a key factor in those suffering, heat also plays a big part too. An extra jumper or an extra degree from the boiler works wonders.

Perhaps what we are dealing with here is a COMPLETELY NATURAL symptom that is an annual one for a puropse which is why it is so hard to control, similar to the common cold which imo is to clear out a human body and kickstart it in preparation for a renewed start. That's why common colds can be so hard to cure. Once again it comes down to acceptance and our ability to live WITH something rather than fight to stop it.

With the changes in our lifestyles over millenia we no longer have to hunt, fish and forage outside for days on end, we "pop" down the shops to stock up and have employment to make money to pay for things instead which means we shut ourselves in wooden and concrete boxes much more of the time. Normal these days but not natural perhaps?

Something else to bear in mind is our constant use of modern lighting and our often everyday use of computer monitors blasting us with unhealthy frequencies of light. Are we suffering more these days because of the wrong type of light we have evolved to use in more modern times?

I'd be interested to hear from those who work outdoors and find out how much and how often they suffer from S.A.D.

Be well.

a reply to: nerbot

You've touched upon a very important concept. The reality that SAD / depression are natural. Both are the products of brain chemistry and have nothing to do with personal character or ability to enjoy things. Many, many people seem to believe that it's all mind over matter - when in fact positive thinking is not the answer. It doesn't hurt, but it's a cure either.

Personally one of the things I have discovered is that walking a few miles a day really helps. It's a habit I got into during my year away - as I had to walk to do all of my shopping. Having to walk was rough the first few days, but once I adapted a bit, I found myself enjoying it and wanting to do it. I began looking for reasons to take walks every single day. Some of the worst days of my year in the community home were the ones when storm fronts would move in and dump torrential rain for days at a time. Even then, several times I said "to Hell with it" and walked in the rain anyway.

So, in summary, if you're feeling down - it doesn't make you weak or a freak. It makes you human. Understanding your own body and that depression is chemical empowers you to find ways to make that chemistry work in your favor - like lights, walking, medication and doing things that you enjoy.

I hope all here had a great Thanksgiving!

a reply to: InfamousSiren

I'm very lucky to have lichter. Hes everything to me. My best friend and my rock. I have no clue where I'd be without him.

a reply to: InfamousSiren

Your words are just fine, and you pretty much nailed it about my step dad, he was abused horribly almost every night by his father. But i've always been taught that two wrongs don't make a right, by him and my mother. so i guess that messes with me bit too.

And as for my girl, yeah she is pretty amazing , and her love is a love i've never felt, so yeah i will never let that go ever.
This is just crazy to me i never thought i would feel this good opening up to total strangers, but its so much easier than i thought. Man i cant say it enough but i appreciate everything everyone is doing in here, this is just so great and awesome to know there is still some hope in the world. This must be that light in the darkness i should follow huh? well i see it and i'm gonna keep following it.


Peace.

a reply to: Hefficide

Well said Heff *sniff*

The last time I spent the holiday season with my my family was in 1992, and once I was old enough to drink my Christmas cheer has always been on the rocks.

At one stage workmates and friends would take pity on me and drag me along to the Christmas get togethers and despite their best intentions it only made me feel more down. Watching kids unwrap presents with their parents, watching grandparents coo newborns...I couldn't take it.

Nowadays I prefer to remain alone; I don't want to dwell on what might've been or what could be, that special time of year is just tears in the rain for me.

But on a positive note-i'm free! no in laws to impress, no embarrassing flatulence after Christmas dinner, and no money wasted on decorations!

Hubby has already started with the Christmas music. *sigh*

I just need a minute to muster up some more "fake it til I make it".

a reply to: MojaveBurning

I've found that trying to see the event through the others eyes can help with that. IE instead of focusing on the Holiday, focus on the hubby becoming a child again for awhile. Watch how the magic effects him and appreciate that it can!

originally posted by: Hefficide
a reply to: MojaveBurning

I've found that trying to see the event through the others eyes can help with that. IE instead of focusing on the Holiday, focus on the hubby becoming a child again for awhile. Watch how the magic effects him and appreciate that it can!

i think the worst thing about holidays (for myself) is being surrounded by family and still feeling like you are absolutely alone. a lot like robin williams said. boy, that man was spot on about a lot of things...

a reply to: TzarChasm

For me the embodiment of that sentiment is an old Bush song called "Glycerine" - a passage, from which, says:

I'm never alone. I'm alone all the time.

a reply to: Lichter daraus

You're right, it's not right, but people do things for a reason and it helps in understanding why people do the things they do and put yourself in their shoes, they went further down that path of darkness than you did. I'm guessing there was a light somewhere in your childhood that help you from going further down it, but that's just me saying that from my own personal experiences. This is just my opinion, but sometimes you got to be the bigger person than those people who hurt you aren't able to and forgive them. To be able to see that it wasn't right in the first place makes you amazing just means you have a mature soul!

And I'm glad we can all help! And yes, this is the light, but so is that love that you feel for your lady there, and the love she feels for you! There will be bad days and there will be good, just hold on to the good moments and remember they'll come again!

originally posted by: nerbot


With the changes in our lifestyles over millenia we no longer have to hunt, fish and forage outside for days on end, we "pop" down the shops to stock up and have employment to make money to pay for things instead which means we shut ourselves in wooden and concrete boxes much more of the time. Normal these days but not natural perhaps?

I'd be interested to hear from those who work outdoors and find out how much and how often they suffer from S.A.D.

Be well.

Hey buddy, you've hit the proverbial nail on the head

This is why I believe from an environmental point of view (other than psychological trauma/biological shizzle), it hits me May and November each time. Bear in mind that in Australia, May is the end of Autumn/Fall and November is the end of Spring.

I have a passion for gardening and going out in the outdoors where I can. For me it's a healing thing and being closer to the earth. I am silly, I don't use gardening gloves... in australia we have loads of bitey insects and spiders. Yesterday I some sort of weird lightbrown fat spider with a bunch of tiny fat brown spiders clinging to it's abdomen... amazing but wouldn't have liked to have been bitten on my naked hands! It is something about being outdoors, being productive that helps with anxiety or depression. Getting the job done, alone (or with my young child, who is also mad keen on gardening), watching the birdlife, the insect life....

But in May - the weather is taking a sharp turn into winter (I live in victoria), and at that point there's no more gardening to be done, I have prepared all I needed to in autumn. It just hits me bad. It's only in the following months in the depth of winter I can do the winter pruning of the roses and trees that gets me uplifted again.

November? November it suddenly heats up out of months of cold/mild weather and I just cannot move without tiring so much. Luckily I have had the opportunity this week to do some much needed weeding and mulching before the hotter weather sets in. So feeling pretty groovy at the moment. Although today marks 13 years since my papa's passing.

Sorry for the long winded reply, heh. I guess in short - yep, feel much better when closer to "nature"".

Thanks for making this thread, Heff!

I also feel down this time of year, due to the cold and early darkness, along with the overjoy of the Christmas spirit. I'm glad to meet others feeling the downside of the Yule.

a reply to: TzarChasm

Too true.

I will probably be yelled at for this, but when news of his passing came - I burst into tears and called my mother. Robin, throughout my entire life felt like a relative I never met, and I felt like I understood where he was coming from. He, like me and others I know, like to make jokes and use comedy as a part of healing and nursing ourselves. When he passed a lot of people said he was weak and a coward. But all I could feel was sadness and empathy for Robin - and so much love.

When you feel, or understand that nothing is black and white, individuality and all that - but common thoughts and feelings we have - it helps. Like Heff quoted Bush lyrics - We feel alone - but there are others that really do feel the same feelings we do. Although our own individual torment is real and is our own - it is still at least comforting that there are others who would understand and not judge. Like those in this thread!

(disclaimer - not advocating anything !!! Just saying empathy!!)

a reply to: Hefficide

Might surprise some people here, but most of my holidays are downright depressing (including my birthday) . More people on ATS knew it was my birthday than my "friends" (friends in quotes because they are more or less acquaintances).

This year is a bit more depressing because it's been a year since splitting off from my ex. Now, I will not say I'm thinking of going back to her, because my overall happiness has increased...but one of the things I miss about having someone was that in the end, you at least have someone to sit at the table with you after Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and be with you. I'd be in worse shape if I didn't have a furry companion to keep me company.

In short: Bah Humbug!
-fossilera

The days are cold & dark, the weather is hideous, most of the soil is frozen and/or dead...our lovely sun doesn't come up for long and sets down quickly, the night is long... you get up to school or go to work while it's dark and then you spend all day in a building and finally, after you finish your work or whatever you go back to home, yet it's dark again... so you live in a never-ending darkness it may seem.
people are getting ready for their mid-term finals, everyone is just busy doing their business, trying to stay normal by "stopping" during thanksgiving, christmas or the new year celebrations, yet they never actually stop, the vast majority of people just don't let go, they can't, they are being eaten by the system itself... me neither I guess, I don't feel free anymore, as I think about it I hadn't felt free before I realised I am not free either, but I hadn't been aware of it.. kinda strange feeling...the minds of people are foggy, the feelings are blunt.
and all this Black Friday and other sale madness is driving me crazy, people are really nuts!

When I am on the bus these days or when I shop at Tesco's, all I can see is frackin' zombies, empty desperate faces lurking through their days without any "deeper" purpose, everything is too "shallow" these days...
During summer I do realise this as well, but it's not quite obvious, I can find some distraction pretty easily, but during winter season it's much easier to spot this kind of behaviour, is it not?

We are always in a hurry...what is this constant hurrying good for? We hurry years and years for something to achieve and once we do achieve that we don't enjoy the fact or the consequence of the achievement itself, we or the society set/sets another goal for us and we hurry again. And now you are old and you see, you've arrived, and you ask yourself, is this it? Is this what I've been hurrying for? ... and suddenly you feel somewhat cheated.......

All in all, christmas is not what it used to be, advertising, marketing g and commerce is spoiling it pretty much the same way as Grinch tried to spoil it

I can't find anyone normal to talk to, because as brainwashing reaches its advanced stages there is just a few people left I guess... It's quite depressing really, to feel alone all the time, sitting on the bed during the evenings, scrolling Facebook or forums, having nobody to talk to, and if there were a person to talk to, the conversation would be probably meaningless and pointless as they just don't seem to understand, they don't want to understand.

I am trying not to think about it, watch movies, listen to my iTunes library...yet it doesn't work out very well thus far.

I miss the times when I was a kid and my family and I were sitting on the sofas in the living room with a candle lit on the table and enjoying hot sips of a fruity tea...and just talking, talking normal stuff, the TV box was on, yet it seemed kinda normal, like... I don't know, just different. No iPhones, no pointless chatting with random people who don't give a f*ck 'bout you. Just pure human conversation, held regardless of commerce, fashion, wealth and social appearance...

Back then, everyone's been busy, yet it seemed like people have always found a little time to actually enjoy themselves, enjoy themselves not just for the Instagram photo they post afterwards. It seems like we are losing ourselves. Sometimes I fall into this misery myself. It's really a strange feeling you see, because life feels the same way as it has always felt, though it is different. People don't change, the technology does...and our perception of what matters does as well.

I think we lost our drive and I don't see it coming back......

cheers

a reply to: NoRulesAllowed

Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing. I get it at the height of summer and it doesn't go away until the Fall weather and rain kicks in:

www.accuweather.com...

This is why I love this forum. People here recognize others as human beings with feelings. This is good to have here as I too, battle holiday/winter/SAD at times. I am sorry to hear of your loss Kanga... Holidays bring back memories of my mother who is gone and I miss her and struggle sometimes with that.

One of my personal "isms" is that I tend to do really well during a crisis or triggering event, only to feel it all after it's said and done. Such is the case with this Thanksgiving. I was fine, emotionally speaking, all through the Holiday. Smiles and socially active.

But, today, the last visiting relative left for home and now the stress has hit.

I imagine others have the same sort of delayed reaction as well. For them, I post and discuss this.

The only outward symptom I've displayed, thusfar, is that I laid down to take a nap and ended up sleeping away eight hours of the day. That's not terribly abnormal for me as far as symptoms go. But, internally, I am feeling the stress pretty heavily. Thankfully I do have a slew of methods for helping myself to feel better. A series of rituals, if you wish, that serve to vent stress in a productive or passive way.

1) I shower. I know that sounds simple. But, for me, the shower is like a sensory deprivation tank. It's the one place I feel alone and really safe ( womb recreation a shrink would say ) - but I think it's more than that. I go in feeling meh and come out feeling refreshed and clean. Almost a ritual of Baptism.

2) I eat a healthy meal - whether I have an appetite or not. It's amazing what healthy food will do for mood.

3) I keep my furry friends close. It's hard to be depressed with loving critters close by.

4) Breathing through the rough spots. Deeply. Always a winner.

5) Distraction. Right now I am catching the latest episode of The Walking Dead. Later, I'll probably write or watch a movie.

If anyone is having a hard time try the above or add your own methods of coping to this thread. Remember this is about us, as individuals - but it's also here to help each other.... Even those lurkers we may not know are here, but who are benefitting from our dialogue.

Thanks all for your input. It is invaluable!