It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


[SEC2014] Marcus's Mistake

page: 1

log in


posted on Nov, 7 2014 @ 11:01 PM
A strong center was what Marcus was always told was most important in war. Slaves on the flanks. The whips could hold them there but it was recommended that one set their most trained men in where the carnage could not be avoided. These men had to do it willingly so they were the citizens looking for fame. So what did this say about him and his men? Every battle that they took place in they were placed on the far right flank. On his back sat a single plate of steel that was meant to deflect arrows. This lack of armor was provided to them basically because the generals looked at his unit, and every regiment like his, as a weakness to each battle. They were mere cannon fodder.

He had to escape but as the flags signaled their position there didn’t exist an opportunity for him to enact these dreams. Thus Marcus walked with his fellow slaves down off of the hill to his designated spot on the field below. A solid line was key in this style of warfare and his masters, some group that referred to themselves as Antia, punished survivors of battles who failed to maintain a stable front.

It wasn’t always this way for him, he was once a farmer in the valleys of the three rivers. His lands were owned by a kind ruler named Ontaria. Unfortunately, he was too kind and lost his realm to these barbarians. His life ended quickly but his subjects now get the poor luck of being dragged out into carnage and bloodshed, for Antia never stops its conquests. He hopes that one day a stronger nation will come along and defeat this disease once and for all, but these hopes are slashed down by the realization that this result will not bode well for him and his now captive people.

The orange flag raises at the same time as the whips strike sending both extreme flanks forward. In front of him sat another poor civilization that could not survive the coming carnage. Marcus didn’t even know their names but could see that the coming surprise of cavalry would break their morale when they sprung from the forests behind them. He ran as if he didn’t have a choice, it was if survival depended upon crashing into another group of men armed with swords looking to exterminate their enemy. Their eyes looked like they didn’t even understand what position he was put into, this wasn’t his choice.

When they collided it proceeded as every other battle had after he become enslaved. This was the moment that was more simple than any other aspect of his current life, kill or be killed. Swords swung and shields blocked, skin gave way to steel as the carnage started. It was a damn shame he couldn’t choose another life, choices though did not exist for him. The generals expected his flank to give but it didn’t, they weren’t that weak even if everyone expected his tribe to be.

Back on the hill fires were lit signaling to the cavalry so that they would begin their surprise attack from the rear. These men were the best from Antia for they were the nobles, trained from birth for moments as these. His sword brought the end to another poor souls troubles on this world. It wasn’t what he wanted. His eyes looked to the woods in the distance, they were hard to fully see but nothing seemed to be happening. Minutes went by and the men to his left and right fell, his feet shuffled backward even though the whips pushed them forward. Steel was more painful than leather and still the forest remained quiet.

It started with a few horses that were running wide eyed without any riders. Quickly it grew into a wave of fresh troops, foreign to the leaders of Antia. It turned into the worst view possible. There were thousands that emerged from these woods and they were not lightly armored. The next thing was a sight that brought joy to Marcus even if it might lead to his death. The hill where the generals gave orders from went from shock to panic as the enemy sprung their trap. A circumnavigated cavalry strike similar to the one they attempted that broke this demonic creation.

The men whom held the whips fell quickly and even though this was great it didn’t really bring good news. He was now trapped between heavy horsemen and a line of infantry that was bending their right flank back. It was only a matter of time before it gave and Marcus was not going to see when that happened, in fact it was him that started the rout. The hills was where he would go and quickly.

His feet went and his body followed. Nothing could stop him as he ran at full sprint. It wasn’t easy to escape. A horse and three men had to lose their lives but nothing on this cursed world was fair. The gods didn’t favor him or any other human for that matter. The woods welcomed him and a few other men with open arms, archers did in the rest. That strong voluntary army that held the center vanished behind him. He hoped the worst for them.

Deer paths, that was what he wanted, they would lead him to a hidden safety that he hadn’t felt for over a year. If he did survive this he would never understand how he persevered throughout all of these circumstances. His mind drifted to his wife and son, even this massive defeat did not make up for their deaths. After an hour of running he found his path and followed it until he couldn’t hear any screams, which took five hours and came with night fall.

The night gave him the ability to hide but did not provide safety, for that he needed to gain distance. For hours he traveled the deer paths under moonlight meandering his way through the rolling hills hoping that something lucky came his way. His steps were made with as careful a progress that he could make but in the end it was meaningless. Fate held something in store for him that he couldn’t resist. It was something that he could have never looked out for.

As his foot came in contact with a long black stone and his weight shifted onto it, it fell downward pulling him with it. They fell a few feet before striking soft wet dirt. The chunk of rock embedded into the mud while he began a stumbling somersault down into the dark chute. He landed onto a concrete wall hitting his head, forcing him unconscious.

His eyes opened to a sight of darkness, a cave that shouldn’t exist in this place. This was supposed to be a simple farming land with one city center some fifty miles off to the west. Was it possible that he had stumbled onto something not known to anyone else? The possibilities of answers immediately flooded his heart with a small sense of happiness. This was a feeling that hadn’t shined on him for some time now, since far before he had been enslaved. This emotion intensified when he realized that if anyone would be looking for him they would now struggle to find him. This included the assured victors of the field for they would not identify him as a poor sole stuck in some situation that was beyond his control, no he was only the enemy to them.

Looking around didn’t help much, it just led him deeper into the darkness so he gave up and sat down onto the ground. He stared back towards the hole and focused upon a small group of stars in the sky. There was a peacefulness hidden in the fact that he could see them but was hidden from their faint view. It was serene.

Part 2 to follow.
edit on 7-11-2014 by TacticalStats because: Edited to make it more appealing on ones eyes.

posted on Nov, 7 2014 @ 11:02 PM
Part 2

Sleep came throwing him into morning. Once his eyes looked back at the cave with the daylight’s aid he found himself shocked at the view. It was still dark, but it was something. It was metallic, something not natural. Black in nature or at least extremely dark that the lack of light combined forcing the depth of color to fade into nothingness. There was something that he could see though and it was off to the side of something that looked just like the door that barricaded his house. Yellow dye in the shape of a triangle sat on this door. It wasn’t quite a triangle but it held its shape in an odd alien way.

Curiosity propelled him to press onto the door and he was shocked that it even opened. It didn’t sway in or out but it slowly slid off to the side revealing a hallway that was dimly lit. He just stood at the doorway trying to come to terms with what exactly his eyes were viewing. It was a long hallway with weird long tubes that emitted light from each side of the hallway’s ceiling. It beckoned him to walk further, a feeling that was amazingly stronger than the whip that pushed him towards moments that could end every potential future realities.

Every step echoed off of the walls around him. Nothing about this cave was natural, what lair was he stumbling into. About twenty feet into his slow trepidation he saw two doors, one opposite the other. This was the weirdest thing he could have ever encountered. Each door was solid and made of a metal that surpassed the design of the sword and limited armor he was given. Upon opening the first door darkness returned to his vision, nothing made sense here so he closed the door and backed out into the hallway.

Another hundred steps down into the hallway brought Marcus back in front of another set of doors. It also sent a strange feeling of emotions throughout his body. Emotions that came off more as feelings that couldn’t really be explained. It was slight but similar to the feelings one got from drinking too much mead. The two doors opened into identical rooms. Who would have designed this place was a mystery to him. It was a question he could never answer.

The rooms that he entered were lit by the same lights that stretched down the length of the hallway and revealed a strange lake. It was symmetrical in nature and underneath its water sat a unanimous black mat. That was at least what he saw until he stepped closer to the first pool. It wasn’t a solid object that sat underneath of the water but a series of several hundred metal drums. Curiosity killed the cat, and he had to see what was hidden up close so he dropped himself down into the water. His hands went to grab the first drum but something didn’t feel right. His skin tingled and his muscles began to ache immediately, was it possible that this wasn’t the smartest of actions?

He threw himself out of the water and tried to stand but felt weak. Resorting to crawling he dragged himself back out into the hallway before propping himself up along the one wall. His breath was rapid and his muscles only continued to hurt more with each passing minute. What was this place? What civilization constructed such a hellish concept? The questions continued on and on but mostly he kept asking himself why his life become cursed.

Resorting to dragging himself back to the entrance that he found occupied almost an hour as his body grew weaker and weaker. The treasure that he hoped to find was fool’s gold and the price that he would pay was starting to weigh on him. Would this really be what killed him, it was a destiny fitting for all of his sins, actions that he was forced to commit.

Back at the original entrance it became clear to him that this was a massive mistake. His lungs burned and there was a pain in his abdomen that was growing with each passing second. He leaned into the mud path that he originally fell into when the ground gave way under his feet. Looking back to the same doorway that was opened he hated the culture that built this trap. It was a feeling that wouldn’t help him in any way for his destiny was sealed. He would never see the green fields of the Earth again. As he curled into the fetal position he took a last glance upward and saw a white metal sign that he missed before, not that it would help him because he couldn’t read any language, especially the dead words that were painted upon its construction. The black letters spelled out something that seared into his brain but meant literally nothing to him.

United States Nuclear Waste Storage Facility.

edit on 7-11-2014 by TacticalStats because: Same reason. Giving space for ones eyes.

posted on Nov, 7 2014 @ 11:20 PM
Nice story.

No one likes a massive wall of text, it is very difficult and intimidating to read. Paragraphs are your friend. They need a blank line between them.


edit on 7/11/2014 by pheonix358 because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 7 2014 @ 11:25 PM
a reply to: pheonix358

Thank you for that. I edited it to try and fix it.

posted on Nov, 7 2014 @ 11:48 PM
a reply to: TacticalStats

Much better. Note please that the longest three paragraphs you have are right on the border of being too long. Consider those the maximum length you ever want to go.

Good story.


posted on Nov, 9 2014 @ 03:25 PM
a reply to: TacticalStats

Very much enjoyed the story, also a good bit of reading in it adds to creating a really vivid picture.


posted on Nov, 10 2014 @ 01:11 AM
Good read

You are also evil

You manage to distract me for my second entry

Keep up the good work

posted on Nov, 11 2014 @ 10:05 PM
a reply to: ripcontrol

Perhaps it does make me evil. What do you mean by second entry?

posted on Nov, 17 2014 @ 11:36 PM

posted on Nov, 17 2014 @ 11:39 PM
Best story so far and I'm through half the entries.

posted on Nov, 26 2014 @ 09:43 PM
a reply to: TacticalStats

Great! Good job! I love it!

top topics


log in