High tailing it back to Jesus Christ.

This thread is to explain some of my wavering views, poor posts, and my own general tattered and all over the place personality. As well as a very brief explanation of why I seem so all over the place in my life and spirituality.

First and foremost, I would like to offer a sincere apology to every single member I've given a
A reply to, as well as every time I was rude ( I really kick myself over those ones because everyone here deserves my respect, for or is not my job to judge and a great many of you seem to have an Intellect well beyond my own.

I also must apologize for the fair amount of posts that I have submitted that fall very short of any level of constructive contribution. I do have a wavering mind, yet I seek a balance that I will one day soon obtain.

As for the title. If you care to review my first thread you will see I grew up as a follower of Jesus Christ. Upon my discovery of our lovely ATS I embarked on a mental journey.

So Many of you have such thought provoking, mind blowing, perception altering things to say! It's highly impressive.

Now Since Was a wee lad of about fourteen years old I was already quite convinced of tue "profound statements" by our recent pope. Things regarding evolution and other beings and worlds within Gods wondrous universe.

It was very easy for me to say, "Ok, evolution obviously a real thing" why again can evolution not be Gods program? The big bang? When God uttered things into existence in an instant, could that not have been a big bang?

Anyway, I was eventually introduced to quantum mechanics thanks to "what the bleep we know", I learned and really expierienced the power of our thoughts, and physical manifestation, creating pur own reality, the law of attraction.

I also started reading into Buddhism, as my original faith was being assaulted because ATS taught me religion nothing more than a man made, mind controlling manipulative program.

Than I learned of "elightenmemt" "higher vibrations" "chakras" "kundalini" "oneness".......

All such attractive concepts. I started carrying around seven pocket stones that corresponded to the chakras
I upped my yoga (which I now call simply, stretching) and focusing on my third eye/pineal gland.

What do ya know! It started working, the Synchronicity began to show up a heck of a lot more. I could see a I looking at me in my mind while meditating (now simply thinking deeply, or contemplating, of not just relaxing)

Than BAM, I, and wife saw too, pure white silent egg shaped craft Cruise over the waters until out of sight. It was unmistakable. No explanation. It could have been nothing in the realm of ordinary, this was broad daylight with two witnesses. (if you search my threads, I did document the expierience) I've seen others too, this one was the most profound.

My interest in crystals and gemstones deepened (also a story pertaining to that cam be found in my threads).

I bought a bunch of random crystals, Himalayan prayer flags, sage, and some Buddhist incense. At this time I thought I was well on my way to a blissful spiritually aware and strong mind. Boy was I wrong.

The night we returned home after buying the crystals my entire family started have bad nightmares, not fun pr interesting, just plain bad. I went into crazy person mode and buried all the new stones in the bad yard for about two weeks. I removed the eventually and brought them back inside.

Ever since that time, I have been falling into negativity, before I had some serious balance and positve outlook to claim. My whole family became physically Ill for a short time, I encountered temptation and situations I should have been strong enough to avoid, but caved completely.

Try and imagine some of the worst substances one can abuse, I went there, lucky I didn't kill myself. This lead to a whole lot of regret and physical withdrawals. My anxiety made a strong reappearance. Now as I emerge from this dark fog my views, thougts and general perception have changed drastically.

I never let go of Jesus, I just can not, and will not, he has performed a few miracles in my life. However I started to distance myself as I became more and more "New Age". The occultic items, thoughts, and practices suddenly brought me into a lonely dark zone.

I still have the darn rocks, and prayer flags, but try to give them zero thought and not revere them as anything spiritual.

I feel like my 2 year run of occultic practices invited some negative deceptive energy, and drew me away from Christ.

No more, Christ is my savior.

Again I'd like to apologize to everyone I have ever been rude or stupid too. And for all my ridiculous post that never contributed and were not worth respectable ATS members time.

And know that I am with you always; yes, to the end of time.
...Jesus
(Matthew 28:20)

It sounds like you ran into your previous programming, and it condemned you for your "evil practices". Been there, done that. It takes time to free yourself from many years of programming to believe and live a certain way. Those things don't let go easily. Especially if you were particularly devout or "religious" in your daily life. Don't give up! You can overcome it. I have done it, and am still doing it. Don't attribute the difficulties and weirdities you encounter to the devil or god. It's all part of the process of clearing out limiting and damaging beliefs.

a reply to: GoShredAK

Apologies accepted, you rude jerk. But seriously though..............



When we start out in life we're given a foundation by those who raised us. In your case, that foundation was Jesus. Yours was a positive foundation. Others aren't so lucky.

During our lives though, we all stray a bit from the foundation that gave us our initial strength. Our initial understanding of life. It's called a learning process. Some find something stronger on which to base their lives, others don't. For those who don't, that initial foundation still holds strong and brings us back to where we started. To where we belong. It's called coming full circle.

Sounds like you're coming full circle. When you get back to where you belong, that's when the real learning starts. In years past, all the learning you did was simply to show you that you were on the wrong path. That's okay though, as I said before we all stray. We all get lost from time to time.

Try not to overthink it though. It's really not that complicated. So you saw a spacecraft. Your crystals brought bad vibes. Other things in your life happened that you can't explain. That's okay, you're not meant to understand everything that's thrown at you. There isn't a person alive who knows everything. Understanding that is the key to being content and allows you to keep learning what you need to, and chances are very good that what you need to learn more about is on par with that foundation you were given when you were young. You know, the same one you thought were were better than all those years that you were being "progressive" and "experimental". Maybe you learned something through it all though. If you did, apply it to that which kept you alive through all those "dark years".

Jesus, your guardian angel, whatever you want to call it. Pay your respects.




/sage advice

Now, Go Live.

If you have embraced things that are leading down a bad path, then it's time to turn away. As a Christian, I know where I would urge you to turn, but only you can answer that question for yourself. Right now, you still have time to find another way that is less destructive for you and your family, but if the fruit is bad, then the tree isn't good, either.

I can second Klassified's comments above.

It took me the better part of 45 years to rid myself (mostly) of the subtlety of what early religious inculcation will do to a developing mind.

When you find yourself more often than not talking about who you are, rather than who you're not, you're about halfway there, I think.

Find whatever paradigm really makes you happy on most days, and let's you spread a bit of that goodness to others.

And then, the heck with all of us and anyone who tells you different, LOL.


Best luck to you on the journey.

a reply to: Taupin Desciple

I like your answer. It helped me put some things in perspective about my own life.

OP, I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a mental and emotional break sometimes to focus on the little things. Life is good, we don't need to spend every waking moment wondering what it means and how it came to be.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

a reply to: Klassified

Great great post. If you live a good life and don't harm others intentionally then you are a good person. Your particular brand of spirituality is not as important as being a good person.

Switching religions and retaining the belief in icons or symbols as the focus or "tools" (if you will) associated with methods of worship directed at whatever religion is really the same old path.

One day you should realize that each human being already has all the tools they need. Its called a soul. You want to worship, find that. its in there somewhere, under all that crap you think is you.

Be still and know…

I was meditating and in my head I heard myself asking that if Jesus really exists then why has my life been so difficult at times, those dark and terrible times when I thought I would never make it through alive and wanted to give up. Where was He then? I look back on my life and I really don't know how I got through it alone. Why did He abandon me to suffer alone at times when I needed Him the most?

I heard another voice in my head answer my question with just one sentence - "You made it through because He was with you, how else?". I wept.

I wept because within seconds of hearing that single sentence, reflections of the dark hopeless places in my life flashed through my mind, and the feelings and sudden realisation that I hadn't been alone during those times was overwhelming. I recall the feelings of utter despair but for the life of me I cannot remember how I came out the other end or the journey through it. I believe I can't remember because He took control of my life and carried my pain-filled soul through my life's dark episodes, and set me down after the worse was over.

I hope I don't sound too crazy, I just thought I'd share this experience I had. I think about it all the time.

a reply to: intrptr

"One day you should realize that each human being already has all the tools they need,"
Sounds like one of the many, amazing quotes from Illusion; the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Great book, full of insight. And while it may seem contrary to Christian thought, it was quite enlightening to me!

a reply to: chelsdh

…Illusion; the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah…

Iv'e heard of that, thanks for the reminder, I'll look into it.

a reply to: GoShredAK

I never understood this thing, why people who claimed to have been religious under Christianity find themselves wandering about looking for other things. Then I realized it is because of a simple misunderstanding, people who were religious Christians trying to understand Christianity weren't really searching for Jesus in their lives, only some doctrines and tenets to believe in.

Jesus said "my sheep know my voice and none other will they follow". That means that you seek to know who spoke the voice. If you find yourself drifting away from Christianity, then it wasn't Jesus you were following, because you were holding to antiquated ideas about Jesus without the present relationship. Were you searching for Jesus or just some doctrines and tenets?

To really know Jesus, you have to accept that Jesus is presently alive and well and desires communication with you, and you don't have to follow a doctrine or tenet in order to understand Jesus. When you understand that Jesus is alive and well and is as close or closer than a brother, that means that Jesus is with you. Christianity teaches a lot of doctrine, but true Christianity accepts Jesus for as He is, and that is a Savior that is real and close.

When you are away from your wife is she no longer real until you see her again? When you are away from her, do you think of her in past tense? Or when you are away from your wife, is she still your wife presently and you don't have to think of her as she was? Or is she your wife no matter where you are?

Think of the relationship with Jesus the same, Jesus is alive right now, He's not an antiquated idea from long ago.

originally posted by: doobydoll
I was meditating and in my head I heard myself asking that if Jesus really exists then why has my life been so difficult at times, those dark and terrible times when I thought I would never make it through alive and almost gave up. I look back on my life and I really don't know how I got through it alone.

I heard another voice in my head answer my question with just one sentence - "You made it through because He was with you, how else?". I wept.

I wept because within seconds of hearing that single sentence, reflections of the dark hopeless places in my life flashed through my mind, and the feelings and sudden realisation that I hadn't been alone during those times was overwhelming. I recall the feelings of utter despair but for the life of me I cannot remember how I came out the other end or the journey through it. I believe I can't remember because He took control of my life and carried my pain-filled soul through my life's dark episodes, and set me down after the worse was over.

I hope I don't sound too crazy, I just thought I'd share this experience I had. I think about it all the time.

That was a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing your experience,it sound like a true life altering experience. It's nice to hear the positive things in life, and when someone finds their way to happiness. Im glad for you!

a reply to: GoShredAK

As an atheist, I can truly say that I'm happy for you. Everyone has their own path to follow, seems that you have found yours. Good luck.

a reply to: GoShredAK
Just saw your now finished OP. If Jesus works for you. Cool. Just one piece of advice. Stay away from the evangelical/fundamentalist/literalist sects of xtianity. They do far more harm than good. Seek balance between your faith, and your life.

a reply to: Meldionne1

That experience was a few years ago, and it really has changed everything about me, the way I act, think, live, attitude, everything.

It also made me realise that to believe in Jesus you don't have to attend church and read the Bible or be super-religious and sing hymns every Sunday. That isn't the way to find Him. Most of us don't even give Him a thought and only genuinely call out for Him when we are in unbearable emotional or physical pain, only to abandon him after we recover. I was the same. He is inside each of us and that's where we will find Him.

That voice that answered me during meditation, I hear it a lot during meditations. It's messages are very philosophical. When I come out of meditation, I wonder if it really is another voice speaking to me or is it my own thoughts, but the sort of things it tells me I know for certain I couldn't come up with such stuff. And the sentence structure, I don't talk like that lol. I feel it is teaching me to think about things in a different way, a spiritual way. I'll start to take notes after meditations and make a thread about what 'the voice' says.

Does anyone else hear someone speaking to them during meditations? I have asked it if it is a spirit guide, and it answered yes. But then I thought with some cynicism 'o really, hmmm', it asked me 'why do you express false doubt in what you know to be true?' (yep, that's how it talks) It made me look at myself and be honest with myself.

I suppose there's the possiblilty that I'm actually crazy and the voice in my head is my own thoughts and I've been having a conversation with myself all this time. Who knows?


Anyway, like I say, I might make a thread and tell you all about it.

I am SO freaking happy for you bro...

This is really awesome.

You might want to check out Mike Shreve's story.

He was a New Age guru who dedicated his life to finding Nirvana when he had a supernatural encounter with God...

Well what happened is during that month-long period I got a letter from an old friend and he told me how he had been born-again, which was a foreign term to me. I didn’t understand, but he described Jesus coming into his heart and how he finally had an encounter with God. I wrote him back and said, “That doesn’t make sense to me.” But the letter just weighed on my mind until one day, as you said, I decided, you know, I’ve got to be open-minded. So I dedicated that whole day to the Lord Jesus and I said I’m not going to do yoga.

I’m not going to chant. I’m not going to do any meditation like I’m normally involved in. I’m just going to pray and read the Bible today. And if you really are the Messiah and if you really did come to die on a cross for the sense of humanity, then I believe you’ll show me today.

One of the members of the prayer group who happened to be a former yoga student himself, now that doesn't like coincidence, it sounds to me like a God instance. He was walking in a Laundromat and the Holy Spirit fell on him and said, "Don't go in there. I've got a job for you to do. Get in your van and start driving." He had no idea where God was going to lead him. But he started driving and every time he felt an impulse he'd take a turn. He didn't know that two miles away I was standing on the side of the ride hitchhiking.

I had been praying all day long from 3:30 in the morning until that afternoon that Jesus would reveal to me if he was the truth. And now I'm going to teach a yoga class. And he never picked up hitchhikers, but he said he felt this compulsion again to pull over the side of the road and pick me up. And when I opened the door and looked in my heart just started leaping inside of me. ...he had taped a picture of Jesus to the ceiling of his van... And that's the first thing I saw when I got in the van. I looked up and there's this picture. So I'm sitting on the edge of my seat in expectation.

And a few minutes later, he turned around and said, "Friend, can I ask you a question?" I said yes. He said, "Have you ever experienced Jesus coming into your heart?" I said, "No, but when can I?" And he gave me this surprise look like I wasn't supposed to respond so quick. He said, "You can come to our prayer meeting tonight." I said, "I don't want to wait that long." If I can find Jesus I want to find him now. And so he pulled the van over to the side of the road, left it running, we knelt down in the back of the van, we talked a little while, and then I prayed a simple prayer that I thought was too simple to bring me into contact with God, but it worked.

Sid: But it revolutionized his life. In fact, then he goes back to those hundreds of students at the four universities. And what did you tell your yoga students?

Mike: Most of my main students became Christians also. And we stopped the classes from that very point.

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To each their own. If Christianity makes you happy then go for it. Just don't get sucked into the hateful fundamentalist kind. Jesus taught love and forgiveness not hate and holding grudges.

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: intrptr

"One day you should realize that each human being already has all the tools they need,"
Sounds like one of the many, amazing quotes from Illusion; the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Great book, full of insight. And while it may seem contrary to Christian thought, it was quite enlightening to me!

This is the thing, as you say fundamentalist Christianity does not think you already have the access to God or the realm of the good.

I find fundamentalist xtianity to be very anti self because it states that our soul and inner world is corrupt, sinful, not to be listened to, and we only have access to answers through Jesus and him giving us the Holy Spirit.

It is problematic because it basically divorces people from their intuition. If their intuition rightly questions some of the theology, a trump card can be offered "That is just the deception of the Devil. Don't trust those thoughts."

I, having grown up in such a belief system, and seen others that have a similar divorce of self from intuition, am wary of such systems.