I have been away for awhile my friends... I'm sorry. Been a weird few weeks.

To all of my ATS fans... (all three or four of you). I am sorry for denying all of you my humurous, yet poignant posts Life happens, my friends. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it. Divorce, MS, insomnia, uncertainty... above all of that, ebola, immigration, etc etc etc. It just got to be too much. I had to unplug for awhile. Digitally "drop out".

I learned a few lessons along the way...

1. Television programs have WAY more commercials than they used to.
2. My cat is insanely hilarious when playing with his catnip toys.
3. "Fahrenheit 451" is still as good as it was 20 years ago.
4. So is "Slaughterhouse Five".
5. College football is better for the playoff system.
6. Reading a newspaper is far more satisfying than parking my ass in front of the computer.
7. Crosswords are better in the bathroom as well...
8. Cats get really upset when you put surgical tape on their paws while they sleep
9. Ex-wives are far more tolerable when on the OTHER side of the continent.
10. Old cars are like old spouses... you never really know what makes them tick... but, when they fail, get professional help.
11. "Dr. Strangelove" should be mandatory viewing for ATS members...
12. There is fresh air outside. It's amazing
13. Northern Idaho is beautiful in late summer/ early fall.
14. If you park under a maple tree, expect a leafy sunscreen on your windshield every day.
15. Seized bolts on an old car WILL NOT loosen without 3 grunts and 4 obscenities having been uttered. (Almost a law... ask any mechanic)
16. My cat managed to get himself stuck in the shower enclosure for a day. Cleaning cat crap out of a shower is no fun.
17. If you are ever in N. Idaho and want a good bloody mary... look me up... know a good place
18. 99% of the time, the news can wait until tomorrow.
19. Getting my knuckles bloody working on my car is FAR more satisfying than bloodying fingertips typing online
20. Daytime TV totally blows.
21. My postman does not have ebola.
22. A 1992 Bonneville w/o a supercharger has no EGR. The only Pontiac (3800 motor) w/o one. Even the parts guy was shocked. Now you know.
23. Mantis shrimp are awesome.
24. Ex-wives aren't.
25. A cat will chase a laser pointer dot 8 feet up the wall.
26. Roommates get upset when they hear your cat climbing 8' up the wall at 0300
27. Always tip a Swedish waitress
28. Sometimes... it pays to just be quiet and listen to life...
29. Never try #28 when your roommates are having "quality time"
30. West Virginia is a much better football team this year.
31. The Steelers aren't.
32. It is more enjoyable to talk to someone face to face.
33. Bigfoots are Wookies. I have proof.
34. Finally.. unplug for awhile. Decompress. Turn off the electronics, light some candles, open a bottle of wine and read a book...

Hope to start contributing more again

Madmac

Nice to see you again!

Your post is hilarious. Thanks for all the lessons learned.

a reply to: aboutface

I try to be informative... like the old US Gov't VD films

a reply to: madmac5150


Glad to see you back....

You have some, um, pretty interesting things on your list. LOL

Sounds like you've been picking on your kitty tho....((((meoooooow))))


It's good to take a break from time to time and have a reality check
Hope everything is okay on the home-front

See ya 'round~
snarky

originally posted by: snarky412
a reply to: madmac5150


Glad to see you back....

You have some, um, pretty interesting things on your list. LOL

Sounds like you've been picking on your kitty tho....((((meoooooow))))

It's good to take a break from time to time and have a reality check
Hope everything is okay on the home-front

See ya 'round~
snarky

The stories I could tell you about my a-hole cat... need a new thread for that... LOL. He's a character. I have written about him on here before:

The Bandercat

I have a few others I can add...

People with M.S. should not get plowed and try to walk home (not a bright spot in my journey... but fun)

Soccer moms are more rude than the French are rumored to be.

Cats dislike waking up from a nap with rubber bands attached to their tails.

We have had local sightings of mountain lions and wolves. I hate getting the mail...

We also have ospreys... can't let my cat outside. His dumb ass would wave them in for a landing.

I can go on...

Northern Idaho?!? WTH were you thinking? LOL

Can go on. Can go on? Man, have you started cutting firewood already? You've got no time for working on a car!! Cut more firewood! LOL

Good to see you back, brother.

a reply to: madmac5150

Welcome back Mac. Been there, done that myself in the past and it has always done me good.

Starting to think it's past time for me to unplug a bit myself again. I have a couple of demons/monkeys on my back that need their asses handed to them.

Hahahaha! Good to see you back!

I have to be honest though and wonder why anyone would tie elastics to a cat's tail or paws when all you have to do is wait until he is asleep then tiptoe to the kitchen and run the electric can opener. This method provides a lot more exercise for the kitteh. Think man, think!

a reply to: Snarl

7 cords cut and split... think we may be ready