“It's not going to make you grow a Vagina!”

That's my wife's favorite saying whenever she wants me to watch some boring chick flick with her.
“Oh come on... Watching 'Legend of Fall' with me isn't going to make you grow a vagina you know...”

'It's not going to make you grow a vagina'

That's what she says about romance movies and TV shows, like 'Marry Me' or 'Once Upon a Time' or “Grays Anatomy' or 'The Red Band Society'

However, my wife and daughter's all watch those shows along with our cat and two dogs. They all have vagina's, but how do I know that was always the case?

Maybe they were born with Winkies, only watching all those sappy romantic comedies made their Wee-Wee's shrivel up and pop off! What if watching 'Water for Elephant’s' makes you grow boobies! Maybe 'Maid in Manhattan' is what triggers all that PMS'ie stuff?

No sir... I'm not taking the chance of losing my Mister Happy and growing a vagina....

So whenever my wife is in the living room watching the 'Ghost' DVD, or 'Outlander' TV show...

I'll be hiding in my room watching reruns of 'Kill Bill' and the 'Fast and the Furious'! 'Wolverine' and guys from 'The Big Red One' got my back. None of that lovey-dovie drivel for me man. I'll stick to my Testosterone building 'Shot-em-ups'!

I would say more on the subject... but I was accidentally exposed several moments of 'Les Miserables'... and I'm feeling very emotional right now...

“Come on, watch with me...It's not like it's going to make you grow a Vagina!”

Maybe not, but I'm not willing to take that chance!
So she can keep her 'Jane the Virgin'... I'll be in my room watching 'Gotham'! Me and Mister Happy that is...

Lab Grown Vaginas

I don't think its the sappy movies that make them grow!

a reply to: HardCorps

It's true, it won't make you grow one. Too bad. At least that'd give me something to do for the next few years until it became old hat. ;p

a reply to: HardCorps
Well if it is you and Mr Happy in your room, "Jane the Virgin" might be a better choice than "Gotham."
Second

a reply to: HardCorps

“Oh come on... Watching 'Legend of Fall' with me isn't going to make you grow a vagina you know…”

Don't forget the "cuddle" part. I think thats what she wants, right girls?

originally posted by: intrptr

Don't forget the "cuddle" part. I think thats what she wants, right girls?

Not after the second bottle of wine.
I've always found chick flicks quite rewarding.

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: HardCorps

“Oh come on... Watching 'Legend of Fall' with me isn't going to make you grow a vagina you know…”

Don't forget the "cuddle" part. I think thats what she wants, right girls?

We can cuddle while watching 'Spiderman' too ya know...
second

a reply to: HardCorps

Scientifically speaking, it's the Lifetime channel that will make you grow lady-parts.

That and anything "Hallmark".

The only real antidotes are;

Pulling on your finger
Getting your leg caught in a bear trap
Catching a ninja throwing star with your teeth
Watching "The Losers" or "Firefly" re-runs.

This was written on the internet using the word "science" so it is true.

My god, I so want to meet your wife.
She's such a younger version of me. LOL

Poor thing!

Hubby and I's issue is Horror movies, and "manning up" polite version.

a reply to: beezzer


See...Beezzer knows...

better safe than sorry....

a reply to: HardCorps

Well crap! Does that mean I'm going to grow a winkie since I only enjoy action and thriller movies.



As a chick, I've never really enjoyed the chick flicks. Their too hokie and unrealistic.

On a side note, my husband has watched "The Notebook" at least 20 times. Next time I catch him watching it, I'm going to tell him he's going to grow a vagina. Thanks for the idea!

originally posted by: chiefsmom
My god, I so want to meet your wife.
She's such a younger version of me. LOL

Poor thing!

you do know I'm only half as bad as I pretend to be...
but I'm not saying which half...

originally posted by: HardCorps

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: HardCorps

“Oh come on... Watching 'Legend of Fall' with me isn't going to make you grow a vagina you know…”

Don't forget the "cuddle" part. I think thats what she wants, right girls?

We can cuddle while watching 'Spiderman' too ya know...
second

But she can't. Guys are always ready, girls need to be or get into "the mood". That is augmented by how much time you spend, together in general.

Geez, she wants to be with you man, are you taking that for granted?

a reply to: intrptr


But if I watch those chick flicks with her... I'll be moaning and groaning, complaining about how I was forced to endure... so she's not going to be, 'In The Mood' afterwards... better to let her get all gooey all on her own, then I can come along and pounce after the ending credits start to roll.

a reply to: HardCorps

I'm practicing letting go more.

Here goes…

a reply to: HardCorps
Don't care! LOL
If your wife is HALF as fun as you make her out to be....
Well, fun to me, torturous to you.
She has to be a hoot.

a reply to: chiefsmom

Your not going to do what my wife does...

pat me on the head and say...

"Now be a good boy and maybe I'll let you play with your friends later"

....

a reply to: HardCorps

Don't you believe it!

Once upon a time, there was a guy. A real man's man. A bubbling cauldron of testosterone packed in a muscle suit. This guy won the Olympic gold medal in the decathlon, earning him the title of "World's Greatest Athlete."

Then one day, he sat down and watched "Steel Magnolias" with his wife, and Bruce Jenner hasn't been the same since.

Chick flicks - not even once!

a reply to: HardCorps

Well done! Bravo for the seriousness, and humor.

I've yet to watch the lake house, notebook, etc. I only know those titles because I almost gave in when she mentioned buttered popcorn, I'm a complete head over heels sucker for popcorn Then I realized I had this thing......

"What thing", she asks.

I replied, "a penis."

S&F I still tell my friends about not buying panties for your wife/GF. ATS hardcorps Original. Thank you.

I pray you have a son one day bro