Suntrust Online Cash Member Agreement

I wasn't sure where to post this. I guess this is as much a rant as anything else, so ...

This past weekend I was out of town. With all the Civil Forfeiture stories these days I decided not to bring a lot of cash, paid for most stuff with my bank card. I kept all my receipts and I was going to balance my checkbook this morning. So I got online to get a copy of my current bank statement. After I enter my name and password, up comes a new Terms of Service agreement.

I wasn't fully alert yet, I hadn't had my coffee, and I start reading this. My eyes start to glaze over after the third paragraph. "How much more of this?" I start scrolling down, wondering if I should just click "I Agree" so I can get my statement. Towards the end, I see some sentences that catch my eye, even in my caffeine deprived state. I click "I Decline" and it brings me back to the sign on screen.

Later, I go back and copy the agreement and look it over more thoroughly. In order to just look at my bank statement online, Suntrust wants me to agree to:

Forfeit my right to a trial by jury;

JURY TRIAL WAIVER
FOR ANY MATTERS NOT SUBMITTED TO ARBITRATION, YOU AND WE HEREBY KNOWINGLY, VOLUNTARILY, INTENTIONALLY AND IRREVOCABLY WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A TRIAL BY JURY IN RESPECT TO ANY LITIGATION BASED HEREON OR ARISING OUT OF THIS AGREEMENT, RELATING TO THE SERVICE OR ANY OTHER DISPUTE OR CONTROVERSY BETWEEN YOU AND BANK. FURTHER, YOU AND BANK HEREBY AGREE THAT ANY LITIGATION WILL PROCEED ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS AND WILL NOT PROCEED AS PART OF A CLASS ACTION.

Sorry for the all caps, I just copied and pasted. In addition, I must agree never to be part of a class action suit against Suntrust.

I was going to make a list of some of the provisions in this agreement, but I would be here all night. This was a seven page document with little gems like this hidden throughout.

As my schedule permits, I need to shop for a new financial institution. When I'm ready, I'm going to print out this document and take it to the bank. When the service rep asks, "May I help you?" I will say, "Yes, please. But first I need to to sign this agreement before you can talk to me. Oh, you don't want to sign it? Well, what makes you think I would? Please close my accounts. I want cash now."

I know I'm going to be directing some of my frustrations out at the customer service rep, and it's really not their fault. But I guess that's why they get the big bucks, right?

um... what the hell did I just read!

Why would they even need a clause in there like that!

Banks confuse the hell out of me man.

I would suggest a credit union, I've never had any issues with mine, and it pays out small amounts the more you hold in the bank.

Well that's great stuff right there. Don't harass the poor bank clerk, ask to see the manager, at least. It will be fun.

DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ALL YOUR MONEY AND MAKE YOUR OUTRAGE CLEAR AS LOUD AS YOU DARE.

And now you've learned, in no uncertain terms, that banks are the spawn of the devil, and make the mafioso look like the utter amateurs that they truly are.

Yes, get a credit union. Banks are thieves and criminals, and the 'fines' they're starting to have to pay to the governments they control are at least pointing us in that direction, as odd as that is.

PS: Read Bill Black's book 'The Best Way To Rob A Bank Is To Own One' and see the YT video 'The Creature From Jekyll Island' by G Edward Griffin; it's worth the equivalent of an entire college education, maybe more so. For your graduate career in figuring out exactly how the world works, then go watch 'The Cure for Cancer' by the same man. Good stuff, it will clear things up nicely.

My car loan was originally with them. I switched to my credit union after a year. I had never heard of Sun Trust before then, they always seemed kinda sketchy.