And this is where entitlement attitudes begin...

a reply to: charles1952

Oh yes.

Very much in the corporate world. I have no idea how to handle that one because my instinct is to confront. I'm not one to back down so if you push me I will confront you after very politely asking you to stop.

Rarely as an adult does it escalate. I don't allow it to get physical but if I HAD then I use BJJ.

I've actually acquired a set of skills from debating on ATS over the years. Believe it or not

a reply to: Metallicus

I will concede to the fact that in the absence of all other alternatives, I would not want my kids to allow someone to hurt them. I would rather they come to me first but, failing all other options, I would want them to defend themselves.

a reply to: U4ea82

They may be there for an education,but it is also how they learn about the real world and they're place in it. Yes they need to learn they're ABC's,but they learn the social skills that will guide them through life as well. The fact is that there will ALWAYS be bullies. It doesn't matter what laws are on the books or what rules institutions have,bullies will be bullies period. Every child that isn't a bully needs to learn how to deal with them while young,so that when they are older it will be no big deal for them.

a reply to: onequestion

Please forgive my ignorance. BJJ?

originally posted by: onequestion
a reply to: skunkape23

I personally think the best approach is not to just teach self DEFENSE but to also create an understanding.

It's really Important to pair the two together and Im speaking with a lot of experience of teaching kids boxing and fighting skills.

I was trained in boxing and tae kwon do from an early age. I don't carry myself as a bad ass, but it would be fair to say I am the wrong skinny kid to pick a fight with.

a reply to: Hefficide
Ha---I remember that phone call!
The school called to ask me to please come in because my daughter had been involved in a fight. As far as I knew, she had never intentionally struck another person in anger.
As it turned out, it was a case of mistaken identity on the part of the attacker. A girl had grabbed a handful of my daughter's hair and was pulling her backward. My daughter simply defended herself but that stupid "no tolerance" policy meant she had to spend a day in detention.
I lost all respect for the system when I sat and listened to the principal sputter while he tried to "explain" how self-defense in the schoolhouse is a bad thing. I told him that I was very proud of my daughter for simply using the talents and skills she had learned to bring down the attacker before any serious eye-scratching could occur. The week prior to the attack on my kid, the attacker had sent another female to the hospital when she scratched her eyes.

One question: I agree with your premise. Personal responsibility must be taught from a very early age. I believe that the ability to defend one's self is part of the responsibility of being a citizen.
Schools are not there to instill confidence and produce citizens trained to think critically. Their goal is to produce compliant, willing workers who never question those in authority. For those parents who are attempting to raise responsible citizens, this creates some serious issues. We were lucky in that this child was the last to go through the system and she was only one year from graduation. I'm so very grateful to no longer deal with that system.

a reply to: charles1952

Brazilian Jiu jitsu. It's intent is to snap break and maim but applied properly is best for restraining and possibly proving a point.

a reply to: skunkape23

I've been an athletic competitor and trainer for over 12 years and I'm probably the nicest most happy go lucky person you'd ever meet and I rarely very rarely get angry.

This discipline is a result of fighting training.
I know it's hard to tell from the forums but I really am happy go lucky.

originally posted by: onequestion
a reply to: beezzer

Bullying is very pervasive in the corporate enviornment there's a lot of literature about it you should do some research.

I spent too many years in the military to be intimidated by corporate bullying.

But it does exist everywhere and preparing yourself, your children will take you a lot farther than being passive.

a reply to: Dimithae

I can agree with that, and I can see the point of view of what everyone has said thus far. I just believe that it's important that they realize hitting someone should always be the very last alternative. We can't just go around punching anyone who is mean to us. Learning to deal with conflict in a non-violent way is extremely important.

a reply to: U4ea82

I don't disagree with that.

originally posted by: beezzer

originally posted by: onequestion
a reply to: beezzer

Bullying is very pervasive in the corporate enviornment there's a lot of literature about it you should do some research.

I spent too many years in the military to be intimidated by corporate bullying.

But it does exist everywhere and preparing yourself, your children will take you a lot farther than being passive.

See we agree.

originally posted by: onequestion
a reply to: SkepticOverlord

I grew up in a real tough neighborhood and I had no choice but to learn to st and up to bullying and when I did it was empowering.

I think it helps develop a strong character. Something we need more of.

Didn't fighting cause you to spend time in prison?

a reply to: thesaneone

Yeah it did, but county jail not prison.

How's that relevant?

Or are you still trolling me?

a reply to: U4ea82

Learning to deal with conflict in a non-violent way is extremely important.

knowing how to defend yourself and letting those that wish to do you harm know as much will quite often lead to a non violent result

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

A violent response isn't the point of standing up to bullying the point is teaching your kids to stand up for themselves and sometimes you have no choice but that's a stop gap measure.

Actually disciplining your kids with a martial art has a tendency to have the opposite affect. It's very counter intuitive. It's something I've witnessed many times in the gym.

a reply to: onequestion

Nope not trolling just asking a question.

You talk about how fighting and standing up for yourself is a positive thing and I can see that but on the flip side it can and has also shown how it can make your life miserable like having a record and not getting good work. Just saying.

My oldest, I had raised in the way I had been raised- teaching him that violence is never ever the answer.
He got bullied.

So with the next two, I got them into karate and kick boxing classes very early. The goal was that they feel confident in their ability to physically defend themselves if it became necessary.

That was effective. Things rarely got to that point, because their confidence made them able to stand up to the beginning stages of verbal threat in a way that caused the bullies to back off before going that far.

Each of them got in one big fight - both of them had to face down the most dominant of the school bullies (because there is always one that wants to take down the kid who resists successfully). In both cases, they successfully defended themselves and kicked the crap out of the offender- in front of all the others. The other kids were relieved to see someone finally do that, and applauded them. They were never messed with again, and they became very respected and liked.

The school authorities knew who the biggest bullies were, and when they finally got some of their medicine back, they turned a blind eye.

Kids also need to learn that what they do eventually comes back to them- not always from the authorities, the police, the principle, but even amongst their own peers. They also need to learn to have confidence in their abilities to defend themselves out in the world- because they won't be in the nest forever, and they need to be able to step out into the world without fear.

a reply to: thesaneone

Life isn't all peaches and cream. I Didn't get in trouble for defending myself I got in trouble for getting drunk and acting stupid it's two completely separate issues.

a reply to: Bluesma

It's a thin veil between right and wrong and finding good martial arts coaches should be paramount if you choose to take that approach.

Also understanding as a parent that they need to I stil a sense of discipline and caution when employing such techniques.

The real way to do it is not teach them martial arts with the intent of standing up to bully's, teach them martial arts, and the. Separately teach them how to stand up to bully's not combine the two.