Where have all the "good" women gone

There are a lot of women that want to be treated like a princess and that's ok. The problem with most of those women is that they act like princesses.
So much of the younger generation now days have a temporary attitude towards everything and that can't work in a long term relationship. But be patient, the good ones are still around.

a reply to: threeeyesopen

No I have not tried that..to be honest I've always felt that dating sites are more of a gimmick than anything..it is always hard to know how much is based on appearance and how much is based on personality. To be honest I've been told by others that I'm good looking but my interest in the opposite sex has always gone beyond looks because I value personality, and I often wonder how much another person would want to be with me for my personality rather than my looks. (Bet you never heard that before)

I wouldn't be too quick to swear off dating sites. I know more than one happy couple who met through online dating. We also have a few members here who met their spouse through online dating. My own advice is, the intention is there within you. Relax, and she will walk right into your life.

originally posted by: Tangerine

originally posted by: threeeyesopen

originally posted by: U4ea82
a reply to: threeeyesopen

Lol. I get what you're saying, I really do.

I thought I'd heard of a site that doesn't even show you profile pictures until you've filled out the compatibility profile and it makes matches for you. I just can't remember the name of it. I see the dilemma though. I can't say I've been in your shoes...I've been with my husband since I was 16. Obviously we didn't marry that early but, you get what I mean. I've never really been out there in the dating pool as an adult, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.

Have you tried having friends set you up with people they think you'd mesh well with?

I believe I've heard of that site as well, it was a passing fad..honestly I only have one person I would consider a friend because I've known him for years (since my childhood) and we live far apart. That's not to say I haven't had more friends but they were more like "friends" when the money was flowing and quickly scampered off when it was gone, women also, leaving me to not exactly have much interest in having "friends" because I know my only value to the majority of others is what they can get from me

Based on your description, it seems as though you were looking for friends and potential mates in all the wrong places. If you want to avoid partiers and drinkers don't go where they go. What are your interests (other than being serious) and hobbies? How do you spend your free time? What do you want in a mate (other than someone who is serious)? Be specific so people can make suggestions. Also, are you limiting yourself to women your age and younger or considering older women as well?

It seems rather absurd to ask where all the "good" women have gone when you've only lived 24 years and presumably haven't been looking for a mate since you were 12.

I haven't been limiting myself, and have come across women older than myself with whom I am very compatible, but they are always married and usually have children and I'm not looking to be "the other man". Because I've matured early I can honestly say I have been looking for a mate since the age of 14, and that spured a number of sexually based relationships which of course always turned sour because I often mistook lust for love in my teenage years. As I got older I realized what love really meant and had many issues to conquer in relationships..long story short I've been single for 3 years and counting.

As for the interests, I work so much so that I can both pay back my parents for the financial help they have given me during my hardest times, and to be able to support them in their later years as I'm an only child and very much feel it is my responsibility to give back..that I don't have much free time.

In my free time I mostly enjoy nature, music and anything relating to the arts (museums, travel etc..) to my own surprise is something people are losing a taste for, instead opting to watch television or spend the time they have here not adventuring and doing as much as they possibly can. That's not to say I don't enjoy video games but as time goes on I am finding less and less time for even that which was once a great passion of mine.

Coming from the other end of the spectrum, as a woman in her 20s, I find it very difficult to find men that actively look for and enjoy a quiet relationship. I find them wanting to have a quiet relationship, but not searching for it, most of them are too lazy to take the effort to build a healthy environment, or just give up, saying a casual relationship is enough to keep them satisfied and that they aren't "looking for anything serious".

All said and done, I do hope that you would be willing to take the hard way and build a loving healthy relationship with a person and I also hope they reciprocate with the same intensity. I implore you to search for it, and not to let anyone hamper your belief that the "good" women are all gone.. We're all here, just like you good men, waiting for recognition.

Love,
Marina

originally posted by: threeeyesopen

originally posted by: Tangerine

originally posted by: threeeyesopen

originally posted by: U4ea82
a reply to: threeeyesopen

Lol. I get what you're saying, I really do.

I thought I'd heard of a site that doesn't even show you profile pictures until you've filled out the compatibility profile and it makes matches for you. I just can't remember the name of it. I see the dilemma though. I can't say I've been in your shoes...I've been with my husband since I was 16. Obviously we didn't marry that early but, you get what I mean. I've never really been out there in the dating pool as an adult, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.

Have you tried having friends set you up with people they think you'd mesh well with?

I believe I've heard of that site as well, it was a passing fad..honestly I only have one person I would consider a friend because I've known him for years (since my childhood) and we live far apart. That's not to say I haven't had more friends but they were more like "friends" when the money was flowing and quickly scampered off when it was gone, women also, leaving me to not exactly have much interest in having "friends" because I know my only value to the majority of others is what they can get from me

Based on your description, it seems as though you were looking for friends and potential mates in all the wrong places. If you want to avoid partiers and drinkers don't go where they go. What are your interests (other than being serious) and hobbies? How do you spend your free time? What do you want in a mate (other than someone who is serious)? Be specific so people can make suggestions. Also, are you limiting yourself to women your age and younger or considering older women as well?

It seems rather absurd to ask where all the "good" women have gone when you've only lived 24 years and presumably haven't been looking for a mate since you were 12.

I haven't been limiting myself, and have come across women older than myself with whom I am very compatible, but they are always married and usually have children and I'm not looking to be "the other man". Because I've matured early I can honestly say I have been looking for a mate since the age of 14, and that spured a number of sexually based relationships which of course always turned sour because I often mistook lust for love in my teenage years. As I got older I realized what love really meant and had many issues to conquer in relationships..long story short I've been single for 3 years and counting.

As for the interests, I work so much so that I can both pay back my parents for the financial help they have given me during my hardest times, and to be able to support them in their later years as I'm an only child and very much feel it is my responsibility to give back..that I don't have much free time.

In my free time I mostly enjoy nature, music and anything relating to the arts (museums, travel etc..) to my own surprise is something people are losing a taste for, instead opting to watch television or spend the time they have here not adventuring and doing as much as they possibly can. That's not to say I don't enjoy video games but as time goes on I am finding less and less time for even that which was once a great passion of mine.

Go on a singles nature-based vacation or participate in weekend events like group hiking, rock climbing, etc.. Call the local museums and ask if there are events that numerous singles attend. Go on an arts related tour for singles. Join a book club. Try speed dating. It's a good way to meet multiple women in one evening. If something sparks with one of them, pursue it. But, realistically, if you don't have much free time, how do you intend to support a relationship? By support a relationship I don't mean financially but with quality time. Most people aren't looking for someone to pass in the hall. A serious relationship requires a serious commitment of time.

As for you being a single child, please don't take offense but I've observed that everyone sees themselves as the center of their own universe (which is natural) but single children often see themselves as the center of everyone's universe. It comes as a shock to them when everyone doesn't dote on them like their parents did. Could this be a problem?

Why have women broken up with you in the past? If there's a pattern, take it into consideration.

originally posted by: marina4
Coming from the other end of the spectrum, as a woman in her 20s, I find it very difficult to find men that actively look for and enjoy a quiet relationship. I find them wanting to have a quiet relationship, but not searching for it, most of them are too lazy to take the effort to build a healthy environment, or just give up, saying a casual relationship is enough to keep them satisfied and that they aren't "looking for anything serious".

All said and done, I do hope that you would be willing to take the hard way and build a loving healthy relationship with a person and I also hope they reciprocate with the same intensity.

I implore you to search for it, and not to let anyone hamper your belief that the "good" women are all gone.. We're all here, just like you good men, waiting for recognition.

Love,
Marina

Thank you Marina, your kind words are much appreciated It is always good to hear things from the other perspective, and I am not going to take the easy way even though it is often tempting to..all good things are worth the hardships to get them, at least that's what I tell myself lol

a reply to: threeeyesopen

There are plenty of good women out there! I wonder if you are setting yourself for failure. It sounds to me like you've already decided you're not going to find anyone who you share common interests and goals with.

Here's the thing with love, you will never know until you give it a shot. If you assume all the women you meet don't have the same goals, you will miss the opportunity to really get to know someone.

There's so many places to meet people. I know you said dating websites are gimmicky but my brother in law met his wife on one. She's a great woman who he never would have met if he didn't sign up.
You can also attend art shows or go to a bar at a nice restaurant.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

a reply to: threeeyesopen

Take some advice from an old man.

At 25, get to know who you are first. Don't bother searching out that perfect one, you won't find her.

Partying becomes stale after a bit, especially if you have got it out of your system at a young age. But you should be doing other stuff if the young man's scene no longer interests you.

Travel, go and see new things, do it while you can, while you have no ties to steer your life. Do the things you want to do. Once serious relationships and inevitably children come along, it gets so much harder to do these things when you're young and single.

It took me almost 40 years, and while the notion of 'the one' has pretty much gone by the wayside, I found someone I can come close to being that, and it happened when I wasn't looking and least expected it, like REALLY wasn't expecting it...

Know thyself first. Trust me when I say the rest will fall into place behind that.

originally posted by: 74Templar
a reply to: threeeyesopen

Travel, go and see new things, do it while you can, while you have no ties to steer your life. Do the things you want to do. Once serious relationships and inevitably children come along, it gets so much harder to do these things when you're young and single.

Thank you for the advice, at the risk of sounding like a know-it-all however I will say this. Travel has not been uncommon for me, and in fact before the world really started falling on it's head I did a lot of it..a few of the larger trips being to Europe and many countries in South America. As it stands right now, given the state of the world I have no interest in leaving the nest I've created, and would rather prepare for what is coming.

To elaborate somewhat on my last sentence, I have this "gut" feeling, although if you ask me I know it to be true, that I will not live past the age of 50. It is hard to explain and most people take that as something I've simply made up in my mind, however before I had a feeling I would not live to see 25..and I was very close to being correct about a dozen times due to car accidents, illness, people, etc..I've had a very complex and "hard" life for the last 5 years.

As someone who has lived their life I'm sure you can understand the joys of children, and what is termed love from a spouse. In my case I've taken care of other peoples children (baby, toddler) on many occasions, mostly for a few hours at a time, although I dated a woman with three children but that is a long enough story in itself. Children are very much drawn to me, people say it is because I'm a "good" person but I often view it as I'm a person who protects innocence and children can see or feel they are safe in my presence. All that being said it has given me a wanting for something more in my life..for a family and companionship before I inevitably am dead and gone from this plane of existence.

At the point I am now, I'm not yet financially secure enough to support a family and that is why I'm not actively impregnating women so to speak..but companionship as a start would be good. As a man who has lived his life, I think you can appreciate what I have written..if I really wanted I could write a novel on here of my reasonings, experiences etc but I will leave it at that.

PS: (for whoever reads my statements) If you would like further details regarding anything I've said please let me know and I will do my best to clear it up..as this is the most personal information I have shared with anyone I hope you can also appreciate that there are a few things I will choose not to discuss.

I'm approaching 50, and have been "bound" in connubial bliss for nearly 2 decades. To the same woman(!)

The part you can control is what you are putting out there. Make sure that you are projecting confidence at all times. And chat up every single woman as a potential mate, until you determine she's not for you. Always be closing. women are interested in confidence, so put that out there so they will have some respect for you when you approach.

Our culture has stopped telling boys how to act like men. Nothing at you personally, but a lot of young men haven't had a positive role model, and are too diffident to approach women. All I'm saying is, he who dares, wins. Even women who are not attracted to you romantically will enjoy your company if you project a quiet confidence about yourself that isn't needy or anxious.

As far as the women go, you need to look elsewhere. For years, my mother would say that I'd meet a better class of lady in church. (My mother's generation differentiated between 'girls,' 'ladies,' and 'women.' But that's a whole 'nother thread. Or maybe it isn't. Maybe you are looking for a lady, and keep getting stuck with girls and women....."

If church isn't your thing (it wasn't mine, when I was 25), you might look at "high culture," which usually involves less drunkenness and slatternly behavior. Symphony. Museums. That sort of thing. Plus, those venues are the cheapest dates you can make. They also give you a chance to actually talk to a woman, instead of shouting over the 'music' in a bar, that sounds like the washing machine is off-balance again.


All the best.