Where have all the "good" women gone

Hello everyone,

It's been a little while since I've posted anything, and I figured I would kick things off with a bit of a rant..

First a bit of information regarding myself and my situation; I am a 25 year old man, though life experience would bring me to the same thought process of most people in their 40's, and I am tired of always coming across women my age who are either self obsessed, alcoholics, or party addicts.

As I stated about life experience, I have more than I have wanted to gain at this age, and it has made me mature beyond my years to a point where although being 25 I am no longer interested in partying or drinking all the time for "the fun of it". Unfortunately I cannot seem to find anyone who is like minded and takes life as seriously as I do. I'm not a person who is negative all the time, but I do take things seriously and am not afraid of tackling things head on even if they are unpleasant to deal with, whereas the other half seem happy to intoxicate themselves to a point where the problems disappear.

Furthermore I'm a firm believer in being a gentleman but I am not inclined to spend my time on a person who's life goals are completely opposite from mine, and often will come off as giving the cold shoulder to those I feel are not worth the effort.

I have lived the party life for a number of years, lived vicariously through my inhibitions, and bedded more women than I care to tell but as of the last 4 years I have been looking for something serious in my life, and cannot find common ground with any women I come across in my day to day life.

I guess you could say I'm tired of being alone but I would rather that than being with someone I know is not compatible with me or does not have the same goals in life as I do.

Just wanted to get that off my chest

I'm 25 and I thought the same thing for years. I couldn't find a woman who I connected with. Most people our age laugh through life and have no concept that the world around them is screwed. I believe in being a gentleman too and that's often caused people to accuse me of having an ulterior motive when please and thankyou among other forms of real life etiquette are second nature to me (I was raised in a very old school family, attended etiquette lessons, private tudors and the like for years).

It's very difficult and one day you will meet someone who you'll click with. It took me 24 years and I had given up at that point. Life has ways of surprising people and my advice is to broaden your horizons, maybe go to places you've never been to. Join a dating site or a club.

Never give up because there's a match for everybody

a reply to: threeeyesopen

Have you tried an online dating site that matches by compatibility? Or speed dating? I know those probably don't sound like particularly fun activities but it would help get you in touch with like-minded people without wasting your time on those you feel you wouldn't have a connection with.

originally posted by: Yeahkeepwatchingme
I'm 25 and I thought the same thing for years. I couldn't find a woman who I connected with. Most people our age laugh through life and have no concept that the world around them is screwed. I believe in being a gentleman too and that's often caused people to accuse me of having an ulterior motive when please and thankyou among other forms of real life etiquette are second nature to me (I was raised in a very old school family, attended etiquette lessons, private tudors and the like for years).

It's very difficult and one day you will meet someone who you'll click with. It took me 24 years and I had given up at that point. Life has ways of surprising people and my advice is to broaden your horizons, maybe go to places you've never been to. Join a dating site or a club.

Never give up because there's a match for everybody

It is always good to know you're not alone, thank you for sharing your thoughts/experiences

They're out there. I am married to one.

She's 25 and is better than any of the three previous wives I have had combined. She's wonderful.

Don't give up. Give up looking. The right one will come along when it's time for you to have her. Always does.

Most of us just don't have that patience, and get together with who we THINK is right, but deep down we know is wrong.

originally posted by: U4ea82
a reply to: threeeyesopen

Have you tried an online dating site that matches by compatibility? Or speed dating? I know those probably don't sound like particularly fun activities but it would help get you in touch with like-minded people without wasting your time on those you feel you wouldn't have a connection with.

No I have not tried that..to be honest I've always felt that dating sites are more of a gimmick than anything..it is always hard to know how much is based on appearance and how much is based on personality. To be honest I've been told by others that I'm good looking but my interest in the opposite sex has always gone beyond looks because I value personality, and I often wonder how much another person would want to be with me for my personality rather than my looks. (Bet you never heard that before)

originally posted by: Jomina
They're out there. I am married to one.

She's 25 and is better than any of the three previous wives I have had combined. She's wonderful.

Don't give up. Give up looking. The right one will come along when it's time for you to have her. Always does.

Most of us just don't have that patience, and get together with who we THINK is right, but deep down we know is wrong.

I've certainly gotten together with someone I thought was the right person, and it ended badly mainly on my end as all the chips fell in her corner so to speak. The experience left me not particularly searching for a relationship because I've had to put my life back together, and be serious about how I want my life to be. Many people have said the right one will come along and I'm sure it is sincere, it is a statement that I have often lauded but hope comes to fruition

If you are looking for another person to make you feel fulfilled you are likely doomed to fail. Take care of your own business. Become self reliant. The koochie-koo will follow.

a reply to: threeeyesopen

Lol. I get what you're saying, I really do.

I thought I'd heard of a site that doesn't even show you profile pictures until you've filled out the compatibility profile and it makes matches for you. I just can't remember the name of it. I see the dilemma though. I can't say I've been in your shoes...I've been with my husband since I was 16. Obviously we didn't marry that early but, you get what I mean. I've never really been out there in the dating pool as an adult, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.

Have you tried having friends set you up with people they think you'd mesh well with?

originally posted by: skunkape23
If you are looking for another person to make you feel fulfilled you are likely doomed to fail. Take care of your own business. Become self reliant. The koochie-koo will follow.

I have been self reliant for years, started working at 13 years old, was successful by the age of 19 and then lost it all by the age of 21..built my way back up, and here I am standing atop the experience I've gained. It's not so much about being fulfilled or an absolute need,but I will say money can keep the house warm or at the very least a roof over your head, however it isn't always worth the struggle in the end.

originally posted by: U4ea82
a reply to: threeeyesopen

Lol. I get what you're saying, I really do.

I thought I'd heard of a site that doesn't even show you profile pictures until you've filled out the compatibility profile and it makes matches for you. I just can't remember the name of it. I see the dilemma though. I can't say I've been in your shoes...I've been with my husband since I was 16. Obviously we didn't marry that early but, you get what I mean. I've never really been out there in the dating pool as an adult, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.

Have you tried having friends set you up with people they think you'd mesh well with?

I believe I've heard of that site as well, it was a passing fad..honestly I only have one person I would consider a friend because I've known him for years (since my childhood) and we live far apart. That's not to say I haven't had more friends but they were more like "friends" when the money was flowing and quickly scampered off when it was gone, women also, leaving me to not exactly have much interest in having "friends" because I know my only value to the majority of others is what they can get from me

originally posted by: threeeyesopen

originally posted by: U4ea82
a reply to: threeeyesopen

Lol. I get what you're saying, I really do.

I thought I'd heard of a site that doesn't even show you profile pictures until you've filled out the compatibility profile and it makes matches for you. I just can't remember the name of it. I see the dilemma though. I can't say I've been in your shoes...I've been with my husband since I was 16. Obviously we didn't marry that early but, you get what I mean. I've never really been out there in the dating pool as an adult, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.

Have you tried having friends set you up with people they think you'd mesh well with?

I believe I've heard of that site as well, it was a passing fad..honestly I only have one person I would consider a friend because I've known him for years (since my childhood) and we live far apart. That's not to say I haven't had more friends but they were more like "friends" when the money was flowing and quickly scampered off when it was gone, women also, leaving me to not exactly have much interest in having "friends" because I know my only value to the majority of others is what they can get from me

Based on your description, it seems as though you were looking for friends and potential mates in all the wrong places. If you want to avoid partiers and drinkers don't go where they go. What are your interests (other than being serious) and hobbies? How do you spend your free time? What do you want in a mate (other than someone who is serious)? Be specific so people can make suggestions. Also, are you limiting yourself to women your age and younger or considering older women as well?

It seems rather absurd to ask where all the "good" women have gone when you've only lived 24 years and presumably haven't been looking for a mate since you were 12.

a reply to: threeeyesopen

I'll give the same advice I gave to my 30 year old son who is looking for someone serious. Be involved in activities that interest you and you will in time find someone that has the same interests as you that you will want to stay with. You want someone that has a lot of the same interests,yet has some things that are different to keep things interesting. You don't want to try to have a conversation with someone that simply says "I know" and thats the end of the conversation cause you both think alike. Lol.

a reply to: Dimithae



Its my experience that its more often than not the 'differences'

which keep people together and animated! .... stimulus?

a reply to: threeeyesopen

I married one too, after some pretty bad mistakes.

The rest are locked in my Fritzl cellar. I'll send you a catalogue.

S & F for the bravery to come out there out there just alot scarcer women have changed alot now the majority are on a party binge i got lucky real lucky w mine i met mine through a good friend we met and it all fell into place be patient dont rush it itll come to you!! When you stop looking for it itll come it when your looking for it you wont find...

I'd concur with NOT looking outside the Self for "completion".. As opposed to looking for someOne to "complete" You, look for someOne to share Your 'completeness' with.. In My opinion, this is why the majority of relationships fail now, folks looking outside of the Self . "I need someone to complete Me"

bah, to hell with them.
my advice, you dont need a woman what you need is good friends. you say you lost your business at 21 and built yourself back up, hell try giving half your assets, business, your houses all to a person you thought you knew but robs you blind because "things change".
my advice to you mate buy them a meal and pay for the cab.

a reply to: threeeyesopen
I know you may take this as a smart reply, but just in-case. Maybe your looking in the wrong place? connect with your inner feminine side, get to know it well. Of course you know and feel her but you are not connecting with her. Once you throw yourself in to that relationship, then interesting options may arise externally so to speak. buen viaje.

It is because of 1) the self absorbed society and 2) you really should be asking "am I a man a good woman would marry?"

I say marry because that is what we men need to do is marry a good woman and have kids (which by the way completes life).

Good women are out there but you will find very few in western society.

Become a good supportive interactive communicative man and more than enough good women will reveal themselves to you.