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Must become friends!

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posted on Dec, 7 2004 @ 08:38 PM
For a long time now, there has been a girl that I have noticed and taken an interest in. From time to time there are those people for me, the ones I feel a special connection to that I just can't seem to let go of, even though I've never met them.
This girl has been frequently in my dreams for what seems like almost a year now. Last spring I built up enough courage to just approach her and try talking to her, but I was sloppy, nervous, and she never responded to me once about anything! I tryed talking to her twice, and after that I just left her alone. I guess I left a really bad impression.
Now it's winter and I still can't help thinking that I'd really like to know her and have her have the right impression of me. I just want to talk to her and have her respect me, and respond! What should I do?

posted on Dec, 7 2004 @ 08:47 PM
I have the same problem. Im thinking of asking some of her friends what she really likes, and get her something related to it for Christmas. Then carry some mistletoe around with you til its the right time.

posted on Dec, 7 2004 @ 09:06 PM
Are you two talking about the same female entity?

Maybe you should compare notes and strategize a little more.

posted on Dec, 7 2004 @ 10:04 PM
Raph, love your avatar, btw.

Anyway rule number 1 to your dilemma. Think hard now. Do you honestly want to be FRIENDS with this girl?? Because if thats the case, why are you so nervous??

No, it sounds like you are a bit taken by her, and are interested in pursuing her romantically. Okay now we are getting somewhere.

DO NOT become friends with a girl you have a crush on. It more times then not, will only lead to being in love with a girl who thinks of you as "oh you're my're like a brother to me..."

You need to get to know her of course, prior to dating, but do not think that friendship is an automatic in to romance.

So how old are you? Where do you know this girl from?

I am going to take a wild guess and assume you're in highschool, and that's where you know her from?

Here are a couple ideas to get to that hang out/first date, while keeping yourelf from being automatically exiled to Strictly Platonic Island, or No-Chanceville, as the natives call it.

I am guessing (if you are a student) you have a holiday break coming up. Why don't you approach her (maybe its good to have a little token such as a holiday wrapped candy), smile, and say "this is for you. Happy holidays..." (I will guess she knows your name..if not introduce yourself at this time)

Then get the convo rolling "so what are you going to do for christmas break" then tell her your plans. Comment on a few little things you would want to do (mention a movie maybe, see if she bites and says "me too") talk about christmas gifts and the like. It is okay to keep it brief. Here comes the trick.

Now ask for her email (and/or aim) (hold off on the number) and then you can email her in a couple days, and ask her out at a more comfortable pace. Ask about her. Then add in a few little things about yourself in the same vein "whats your favorite band, Mine is..." Maybe take it to IM if she uses one. You should be comfortable exchanging phone #s by this time.
(remember it is always easier to ask her about herself)

Eventually you ask her "what are you doing Friday?" then say "maybe we can meet up and go to the *arcade, movie, or record store*" (or *whatever it is you kids do these days)

Good luck!

posted on Dec, 8 2004 @ 04:18 PM
ehhh, in my personal oppinion and experience of liking a girl before talking to, its sorta silly. just go up to her be cool and talk the talk. other wise if ya try to be all mushy gushy first words shes prolly gonna think u da creepo bug and look at ya like yer a sped. so come off cool and slick, like u just sayin hi

posted on Dec, 8 2004 @ 08:49 PM
To expand a little and answer some questions...

I am a junior in high school. I do not know her whatsoever and have only talked to her that once in the spring in which she said nothing 0, nada! Not even hello!
The real dilemma is that the only time I see her is in inoppurtune times. I don't have her in any classes or lunch or anything! And she thinks I'm a total weirdo based on the way I talked to her the first time!


posted on Dec, 8 2004 @ 08:53 PM
Why do you want her again?? lol

posted on Dec, 8 2004 @ 08:56 PM
I don't think that her not talking was a completely bad thing-besides- I think the reason behind it is that I completely freaked her out.

But why do I want to meet her?
I just feel compelled to, somehow, and the dreams of course. She's in my dreams too much, and not anything kinky or anything like that, just present somehow.

posted on Dec, 12 2004 @ 12:37 PM
Hey Raph,

Okay the last post I made...Top secret tricks to getting the gal...However, you may have to wait a couple years to use that advice.

Jr High?...oh god, is it as bad now as it was when I went? If I recall, it was like a shark tank. Shudder. Kids that age are so insecure and seem to be at a phase when they notice everyone's little insecurities or flaws and play on them.

The good news? It should be a lot better in high school. So first I will say, sometimes dreams do not equate a real connection to someone. When I was about 15 or 16, I had a dream about a boy and saw his face clearly. Later he switched into my high school and I felt like I had to get to know him. I had a huge crush on him. Long story short, to date he is still possibly the worst person I have ever encountered. My dream seemed to be a warning.

Not saying that's the case with this girl, but just remember, dreams don't always mean what you would like them to. But let's just say that your dreams have pointed this girl out because you are meant to know her. If so, the timing may not yet be right. If she's someone you will be involved with in the future, the timing will create opportunities for you to get to know her.

In the meantime, I think you need to practice saying hi to new people. Its hard if you are shy, but make a habit of striking up conversation with new people everyday. Eventually, after some practice in the dialogue department, it will seem much easier to talk to this girl-as well as make new friends. You may even get to know her friends this way, and then you will get to know her. See where I am going with this?

Start with people who are friendly and approachable and seem easy to talk to. Just say hello, maybe introduce yourself and shake hands, or comment on something like a tv show or a goings on in school. Keep practicing and try to converse with new people everyday.

Good luck

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