When life throws too many curveballs.. how do you cope

I know a conspiracy type website probably isnt the place to open up.. but damn.. I'm feeling burned out to the max.. i've always had a very good life, I got involved and lets say fell in love with a violent twisted lying little devil.. 5 years passed.. And now 2 years on from the split im hugely effected by the violence and mental scarring shes left me.. Nowbeing alone is hard.. we spent ALL out time together having fun etc.. but at the same time i hid the beatings etc from everyone, as i wanted to protect my partner,and dare i say it, our future together. Now i am very alone and miss that bond we had.. If i said some of my personal bad experiences you would more than likely not believe me as its more like what 100 or maybe even 200 people intotal would have had. I would never contemplate suicide, or turn to medicine, but really , how does one cope when the going is not tough, but set to impossible?? things are tough for me and im also suffering ptsd symptoms. Damn how much life has taken a crazy turn. I just want to chill on a nicr deserted beach / lost island and live, with no memories of the current and past negativities.This weekend I'm feeling very alone and there's no one nearby I can just go hang out with - no one I can even just call up, really. I guess I'm just looking for support. It's still very hard to convince myself that anyone even cares. Anyone feel like just talking?

Get over the loss of a relationship and worry more about the economy and your current government plans to destroy your way of life.

That's my Bitch in life.

Ignore proob4, he's from michigan..

When life kicks you in the balls, rub em and get up.
The old saying alway works "this to shall pass"
Best wishes dude...

a reply to: proob4
Hey, it aint so much bout the girl, it was more to do with my extreme bad luck.. its almost calculated it happens so often, and to huge extents. now its at a total breaking point.. just feel like letting off some steam and yelling.. but sadly not something i do lol i know lifes a bitch but damn... bitch please.. give it a rest!

a reply to: the2010apprentice

Try This

Try music.........meditation.........stare at a cloudless night sky for an hour......... wait for them to come........shut people out for 30 days.........take up a new hobby like cooking (focusing on healthy foods)

If all else fails, get hammered and buy a hooker. Seriously.

Hang in there man, things will get better. They always do.

Thanks for the kind words and tips folks.. They've certainly all been taken on board.. I get that it will be better soon.. Just this transition from the trough back up to the ever rising peak again thats a killer.. but sure some cooking sounds actually pretty good to my ears.. and belly too haha. From only a few words you've all shared, its putting me in a much better mood.. so i again have to say cheers for putting a smile on my face! Great people ))

a reply to: the2010apprentice

This works for me as I've been down that road all to often. And currently in a funk myself at the moment.

Don't concentrate on what is bringing you down, but rather get on with all the day to day minutia of life. You can't remove the past pains of life, but you can learn from them.

Oh sure, you will have other problems later. We all do. You just simply repeat the above every time. There is no quick fix though. It takes two seconds to get a bad attitude and two weeks to get rid of it. And maintaining a positive attitude requires constant attention.

Good luck.

I hear ya. I've always enjoyed life til recently...I work a bunch of jobs but my two little but most enjoyable ones were as a dance teacher and artist until last year when I injured my back and started having issues with my eyes. Of course, these were the jobs that brought creativity and energy into my life and now it's all kind of meh.

C'est la vie, I suppose. In the meantime, while awaiting some magic cure, I can only recommend being with yourself in inner stillness, sort of like someone suggested just looking at the stars for an hour. I've done that, not that I can see them well , but its nice to know they exist, bigger than our little selves.

Been through an abusive relationship too and, guy or girl, it takes time to heal and probably a lot longer than you planned on.

Take it easy and embrace healing in its many forms, even reaching out here on ats.

I too have had a bad year, it started with a bad relationship breakup and its been one thing after another ending up now with a host of serious medical issues and overall depression.

I wont list the details but i tell myself this: As bad as i think i have it due to luck or bad decisions and or mistakes, somone has it worse and they get through it. Its my own doubts that are holding me down. If others can stay positive through worse then i must be able to do it too, theres nothing wrong with me other than my attitude and that is something i can change simply by thinking differently about it all.

No one is permanently unlucky or incapable of learning. Ive been paying my taxes for many years, when i need help, do i get any free be's to get back on my feet, nope, yet another problem to throw on the pile.

As the saying goes.."when you're going through hell - keep going..."

a reply to: TDawgRex

Thanks for that

I find myself, being an it analyst , fairly big goal orientated, entrepreneurial overthinker, i always need to do my best at beating an issue when it arrises.. the thing is though i take too much on, thinking that im some kind of 1 man investigative, ' i will never be beaten' type of person , and i tell you it totally drains me head to toe, and inside to out.. within the past year alone i have been given 100 in fake uk notes, frauded of 200 uk notes(these both happened within a month), messed about silly by my company dealings, goods stolen from me, and on and on and on... i always take these as personal hits at me, i get too involved in my csi type in depth investigating, days even weeks or months, i am good at my investigations, but they come at a cost.. they drain me beyond reason.. and my focus turns soley to the ongoing at the time incident... essentially i put my life on hold everytime i experience a bad event.. and it seems bad events happen to me on a grand scale frequently, so, my wonder is, How do i prioritise, or learn to let go...for one example say i lost an expensive bike through theft, ps my brothers bike.. but i have a good chance of getting it back, at the expense of my much needed energy and time though.. my life as i said is put on hold until i 'do my thing' analysing, tracking, recovering cctv, staking out etc..or.. do i accept that yes i can get the bike back but it is too much to take on.. and i will just need to use my energy elsewhere to create the large amount of money to buy my brother a new bike without him noticing? PS.. i dont even have much money whatsoever, being unable to work from my ongoing long duration mass stress symptoms. although it sounds hypothetical to an extent... this is my current energy and time burden... i am thinking about this with 95% of my brain all of the time.. losing sleep, appetite, family and friends contact... and i tell you when i focus this much... on turning an event from bad back to good.. im not sure if im doing myself bad or good.. i know i should focus on good stuff... but my idea of good stuff is catching this crook! this is an ongoing type of thing i experience week in week out.. and i tell you... that deserted island would never pose such a bloodyy headache... even if i had to fight for my survival for food water and shelter... that sounds like a much more appealing and sensible thing to do with my time, energy, and effort. rather than these constant mundane topiced headaches.

When you're chewing on life's grissle, don't grumble, give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best. Aind...

Find out who took your bike and go get it.

Did you say your wife beat you ?

Bro, I'm stupefied....go join a Martial Arts class tomorrow.

To spend another second worried about a bad relationship is dumb.

Go find your next ex tonight.

a reply to: whyamIhere

Hey thanks for the input Bro..
So are you saying even though good outcome = bigenergyandtime² I should still press on? Even if my whole focus is on that only? Even if thats whats depleting my energy?

My partner got away as i always maintained dont hit a female.. so instead i tried the power of reasoning vs psycho violent bitch.. and im sure you know the winner there!
I show to fear to anyone and i would certainly protect myself if needed anytime anywhere. and the only exception was sadly the last person youd expect violence from.

I took that, now im dealing with getting myself together again.

I do agree though i ought to be making more of an effort getting my next ex, or maybe even wife.. but i gotta sort my ongoings first i thinks.

a reply to: the2010apprentice

You dont hit a woman, you shout "i will not put up with this abuse" and you leave immediately.

Do that every time. Alternatively or perhaps additionally, record the abuse on your phone in your pocket and play it back to her parents, brothers sisters anyone she cares about and respects.

You really cant retaliate with any violence of any kind, that makes you no better than her.

a reply to: the2010apprentice

I talked earlier with another member having troubles with ptsd and gave him the advice to try this :

Link

He answered he already had used it to good help, but he was out and should buy some again.

I also use it, but for RLS, and it works very well for me too.

I'd just like to mention that although id like to say a few words to all of you posting up on this thread, im typing these messages on a phone and its pretty hard work tbh lol... I appreciate all posts and some id like to address personally with a followup when im at a computer. You folks are all brilliant people, and im sending my thoughts and good wishes to everyone of you... And i'm right beside you all that are feeling it tough, and any that have it hard in future. It sucks but with a bit of help from good folks like you guys... it makes things that much more manageable.. Lets get a round in... its on me

a reply to: the2010apprentice

You will get through this.

Believe it or not most of us if not all of us has been there.

It sucks....But, she is in control of you. You don't want her back.

Take a shower...put on some foo foo, go get you some.

I promise Bro....This too will pass.

a reply to: Biigs

Hey i just browsed over that message you sent , yeah i did record the stuff secretly with my phone as i was scared i might die and she would tell a complete lie about why it happened. I could never put myself to doing anything with the recordings..she smashed2 of my phones up to hide some proof... but there was always more all the time.

originally posted by: the2010apprentice
a reply to: Biigs

Hey i just browsed over that message you sent , yeah i did record the stuff secretly with my phone as i was scared i might die and she would tell a complete lie about why it happened. I could never put myself to doing anything with the recordings..she smashed2 of my phones up to hide some proof... but there was always more all the time.

She sounds like a total psyco, sorry to say. You dont always get to choose the ones you love, but ignoring what you know must be done is not healthy for you or for her (by means of being there to fuel her rage).

Leaving for good and not looking back might be the sensible thing to do, some things cant be repaired and others simply shouldn't.