I am exhausted.

I am tired. Tired of the death. Tired of the wars. Tired of the propaganda and the agendas. Tired of the talking points. Tired of the disease, of the suffering. Tired of the hunger and the tears. I am #*!$ing exhausted.

I know. I should be the change I want to see in the world. But like 99% of the population, I am just trying to get by day to day. I am just trying to make it through another day at work, so I can give my money to corporations so that I can have things I sometimes take for granted like running water and a roof over my head. I try to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have, and then I feel guilty because of those who don't have (even though by North American standards I don't have much at all, but by global standards I live like a king).

I am a news junkie. I admit it. I like to stay informed. But it's like it's getting to be too much yet I can't disconnect. Everyday it's so many people dead here and hundreds or thousands there. There is war and suffering everywhere. I am so tired of it. I feel powerless against it. I HATE it. I hate that my fellow human beings are suffering. And they are suffering because of my fellow human beings. I hate that our collective complacency is the root of it all, and we all seem to be on a runaway train headed for disaster with nobody willing to hit the breaks for the sake of us all.

I'm just tired of it all. I often feel like I'm from another planet. I'm bewildered that many people don't even give these things 5 minutes of thought in their day to day lives. I feel homesick, like this isn't really my home. Like I'm just doing time here. I wish I could just end it all (the suffering). I wish I had the power to just heal everyone and solve everything and bring peace. But I don't. I'm just another small part of this virus we call humanity.

I know we are capable of good. I know we could be more. I know *I* can be more. It's so hard, isn't it? Feel like I could just crawl under a rock and weep for a week straight.

I'm sorry I haven't done enough. I'm sorry I could be more but I'm not. I'm sorry I've failed you and you and you. I'm sorry for my shortcomings, but most importantly I'm sorry I'm human.



I know I could be out there doing something rather than on here complaining. But sometimes it helps to just let it out. You know... to rant.

it is not your fault. it's nobody's fault. as long as you don't have your hands on the controls, you are innocent and clean as driven snow. and by that i mean, the guys who are manipulating all this. i don't think they're human, so blaming yourself for what they manage to get humans to do, is pointless.

a reply to: DeadSeraph
If this is the case, you are right where The PTB wants you to be.
They just want drugged up beaten down slaves to push the proper levers for them.
The best revenge is living well.

Welcome to the club ... have a beer

Unfortuneatly the idiocy is increasing in the wold ..
Even though it gets tiresome .. never stop speaking out against the evil in the world ..

a reply to: g146541

Heh .. living well works good for dealing with ex-wives too

a reply to: DeadSeraph

Perhaps this will help.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata".

Hope it helps

P

originally posted by: g146541
a reply to: DeadSeraph
If this is the case, you are right where The PTB wants you to be.
They just want drugged up beaten down slaves to push the proper levers for them.
The best revenge is living well.

and you know what? That is exactly how I feel. Like I'm right where "they" want me to be. You and I don't often agree on a lot of subjects, but in this case I believe you are right. I guess it's just a question of how the heck do you pick yourself up and drown out all the misery? I almost feel like it's my duty as a human being to empathize with my fellow human beings. But this can be incredibly painful.

I hate to use the term "empath". But sometimes I feel like I am one. I wonder about how random strangers on the bus are doing in their lives. I feel things from them. Extend that to a global situation of suffering and I end up feeling overwhelmed.

So if you think I am right where "they" want me to be, what is your secret? How do you not end up getting down about it all? I can't seem to help it. Or can I?

a reply to: pheonix358

that's pretty darn nice.

a reply to: DeadSeraph
If you don't watch TV or read the newspaper you will be a happier person. (trust me I am)
Bad things happen all the time, they always have and will until the end of time.
It is not your's or my fault,
it is not up to you or me to fix it.

I have personally seen plenty of suffering and death first hand in my life, through my profession.
I'm finishing 33years as a fire rescue Firefighter/Lt/EMT. Bad stuff happens. Where I can directly get involved I make things as good as possible.

The other stuff half way around the world or outside of my span of control and influence, Well, What good does it do to worry and fret about something you can't change.

Think about this...Is all your doom and gloom doing you or the people around you, friends, family, community any good?

NO.

Its why spend most of the year far from so-called "civilisation" these days .. between meditation and drinking manage to maintain a semblance of sanity ... making my annual trip downriver now going to be a serious drinking binge this year starting when get to ho chi minh city and continuing in china and japan ..

Then theres my toned down rants that post here on ats .. believe me after a lifetime putting people back together and burying the dead am beyond disgusted and weary of it all .. only thing can do is never give up and keep trying ..

a reply to: DeadSeraph

Until Jesus returns as king, we will all feel like we are doing our time. The important thing to remember is that we are here to live by His word. When I start feeling spent, I use 1John 1:9, and study God's word. His word alway seems to renew my tired mind.

There are no lasting human solutions to the world's problems, so dont take it upon yourself to solve them. Do God's will for you, and realize that He has a plan in the works for world.

a reply to: DeadSeraph
My wife first off, then those beautiful 3 in my avatar.
Did you know that according to my dog's, I am a superfly astronaut rockstar with many commendations for bravery and best friends with the most interesting man in the world as well as Caesar Milan's equal!!!
Ok so I am not any of these, but it sure seems my dogs believe so.
If I am out I come home and get jumped and get thrown to the ground and my face is covered with love and licks.
...
I then tell the wife to get off of me and let me settle the dogs down!
Well, that and good food and a few, very few good friends is my secret.

It also helps being fat old and mostly broken, not much can be done to me that hasn't happened before.

So if you think I am right where "they" want me to be, what is your secret? How do you not end up getting down about it all? I can't seem to help it. Or can I?

I have been where you are now, my secret is, as you will initially find, counter-intuitive.

The 'secret' is to reasonably accept the loss you feel.

This goes directly against your primal programming which by default is programmed through evolutionary experiences of all the generations that have come before you to-reject loss. This is why the want of control is so appealing to so many, control rejects loss, well in the short term anyway.

The other part of the secret is to realize that in most instances loss must first occur before gain can exist.

Our present culture conditions us to fixate on gain while denying the loss that must be caused, then when the loss we justifiably cause becomes so overwhelming we can no longer avoid it, ignore it, deny it, or distract ourselves from it
our subconscious tries to protect us from instigating fixating thoughts, this can be anything from a feeling of constant exhaustion to suicide.

Why accept loss? The reasonable acceptance of loss empowers your self-conscious mind to enable it to disengage these protective feelings and thoughts. It's counter intuitive yet suicide is a justified protective mechanism of the subconscious mind, of course few will tell you this.

Our reality is based on contradictions, loss and gain must both exist for existence to exist, yin and yang, of course accepting the truth of this is much more difficult, than submitting to the lies we are continually fed.

Hang in there, go look at some footage on utube of a volcano in an ocean and realize from this destructive occurrence emerges islands that support and encourage new forms of life.

As they say, this too shall pass.

Ehh…

Hard for me to be exhausted sitting behind my comfy keyboard. Imagine how tired the people are in places like Gaza and Eastern Ukraine? They have to feel the concussion of bombs and hear the screams.

Do the right thing, rage against the machine…

Forgot to give an example-Credit, since the deregulation of the banking industry and the creation of credit cards most people have now been successfully transitioned to be disassociated from the cost of what they purchase as they fixate on the gain from it's possession, university studies have shown when you pay cash you spend less.

Disassociation from loss in balance is good yet control is compelled to want absolutes in all it does, it wants perfection and absolute dissociation from loss is what creates megalomaniacs and mass murderers, hence our present culture which rewards this.

The Secret- To Know Thyself

a reply to: DeadSeraph

I feel the same way. As I get older, It seems like it hits home even more. I'm also a news junkie, and I find myself getting upset when I see people being killed, beaten and tortured because of differences, selfishness, their beliefs, and just plain evil. Corporations and bankers being greedy, government ignoring the needs of their own people, and the idea we are all slaves to a system of money and debt.

I can't get my head around the idea how a supposedly civilized society can continue to use war to solve their differences. It boggles my mind why anyone would sacrifice their son or daughter to wage war at the whim of politicians. To kill another human being who also has a family, friends, loved ones, who laughs and cries all because of an order to do so. We build war monuments and shrines to remind us of the ugly actions of humanity.

We're killing ourselves with the chemicals being added to our food. We're rapidly killing our environment, and destroying our planet, yet our government would rather spend trillions of dollars on weapons to destroy and kill.

It's a sad state of affairs, and I worry about what the world will be like for future generations.

The problem with reading/watching the news is that you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

There might not be as many problems in your immediate vicinity, or to those around you, but when you watch the news, you expose yourself to the problems of the entire world.

There really isn't much one of us can do anyway, but I still try to tell others what I have learned. Don't be tired of all this stuff, try to get inspired by it to show yourself that you are a better person than a lot of people. What I refer to as better is honesty and fairness with others. We are being conditioned that being rich is better, but actually most of us will never be rich, so why try. When you try to gain wealth, you risk going backwards. That is what the ones on top want, they want us to keep trying and failing. The next person comes along and thinks " I can make that work better than the other person did, but blows everything they had on something that was doomed to fail.

So just examples to show how they make us fail if we try. You make a living and not much more. Our dreams that most of us have are just dreams, safeguards tend to control that they do not become reality.

I'm not rich, other than my name, but I am not poor. The hospitals and nursing homes will have al of our money in a few years. Money circulates, it rolls like a dime, but it never falls in our pocket and stays there. I suppose that is how the economy is designed to work, it works by keeping most of us working for the ones at the top. If our kids did inherit anything, they might not work anymore so they try to get our money before we die. They is society.

originally posted by: g146541
a reply to: DeadSeraph
If this is the case, you are right where The PTB wants you to be.
They just want drugged up beaten down slaves to push the proper levers for them.
The best revenge is living well.

That's the problem....

There is NO "PTB". Nobody is running your life but you, if it sucks it's because of you, not some mysterious group. I know it's easier to blame others. Once you realize then you will be better off.

I know there is bad people running things on a governmental level but they still don't control "you".

Get off the internet and quit absorbing all the bad crap that's printed and especially this website can draw your soul down in a bog if your not grounded and have a grasp of reality and where you belong in it.

I know 98% will argue the point but there are no Illuminati, aliens, reptilians, PTB or anyone else running things on this planet. Just plain old boring humans who are greedy, cruel and power hungry.

a reply to: DeadSeraph
I have a couple of friends that are reformed alcoholics and one of them is now a counselor,they love reading the 12 steps,they told me that they were alcoholics because they are spiritually sick.
I laughed and told them the whole World is spiritually sick.
And that's about how i see it,it's a lunatic asylum and the craziest of the crazies run the place.
And on top of that most of the people allow it to happen knowing full well they are serving Evil by saying nothing.
The World is in the state it's in because it has mostly been done by design.
The human spirit and the evolution of mind will not allow it to happen much longer though i think and that's why i think there is a War on Whistle blowers, massive surveillance and an attack on civil liberties as well dumbing down most of the public with chemicals,G.M.O.s and MSM propaganda.
The elites fear deeply what is to come.And come it will.
Man must be free.