I don't want to end up being like my Dad..

OP. a question. When your Dad is being a know it all, is he right almost all the time?

Generally some people dislike people that have acquired a great deal of knowledge because that person can damage their rather fragile egos.

A 'know it all' is someone who gets the answers wrong a lot of the time.

A 'wise man' (or woman) is someone who gets the answers right almost all the time.

So my friend, is your Dad a know it all or a wise man.

Your Dad grew up with no one appreciating his skill set, he is the product of that upbringing.

P

a reply to: OpenEars123

I really never had a male role model at home so I patterned myself after one of my teachers in highschool.

He was a guitar player, a drunk and womanizer.

Best decision I ever made!!! RIP "Coach"

originally posted by: loam
a reply to: OpenEars123

So then just choose them...and don't use the times you don't to serve as justification for why you can't in the future.

It really is just as simple as that.

Is not quite that simple I'm afraid.

I've already started hating/despising certain asinine pointless things myself over the last few years. That's what bothers me, is it a sign of times to come???

originally posted by: pheonix358
OP. a question. When your Dad is being a know it all, is he right almost all the time?

Generally some people dislike people that have acquired a great deal of knowledge because that person can damage their rather fragile egos.

A 'know it all' is someone who gets the answers wrong a lot of the time.

A 'wise man' (or woman) is someone who gets the answers right almost all the time.

So my friend, is your Dad a know it all or a wise man.

Your Dad grew up with no one appreciating his skill set, he is the product of that upbringing.

P

Great questions! And I'd have to say yes, yes and a bit of both

He is extremely knowledgeable, more so than wise if I had to choose. But he is also very ignorant.

If he's had an experience and dealt with it 'his way' ie the best he could. To him, it was the right way (even if it wasn't) ace just because he was in that situation, he's now an expert. Ie ignorant.

He's actually in fact THE mist ignorant person I've ever met (due to I'm sure, his insecurities) But that's something I accept I will bender be able to change.

Good questions, thank you

a reply to: OpenEars123

If you are young I would advise to shut off all doubts NOW!

You are not here to please family members, friends or ATS members. Hell, you're not even here to please yourself! (OK, that sounded all sorts of wrong)

Do not measure yourself by other peoples standards. Measure yourself by your own.

a reply to: olaru12

Made me smile! :-D to coach!

originally posted by: TDawgRex
a reply to: OpenEars123

If you are young I would advise to shut off all doubts NOW!

You are not here to please family members, friends or ATS members. Hell, you're not even here to please yourself! (OK, that sounded all sorts of wrong)

Do not measure yourself by other peoples standards. Measure yourself by your own.

Ok thanks, but I'm still worried I'll end up having my dads' bad traits, even if i did take your advice.
That's what I'm worried about, it's already happening :-/

a reply to: OpenEars123

Lol

He basically hates a lot of crap which is pointless, but will fervently stress (and waste good time and karma) on how much he hates these pointless things to everyone.

I guess i am getting like this although I never hate anyone!

Maybe it is age! I love kids too, but I seem to complain about kids too! maybe because kids seem so different today than they used to be, or again maybe it is getting older and not being around many of them. My grandson lives far away so I really never get to know any kids.

Maybe he is just talking and really means little of it.

One thing I learned the hard way is we never do really know anyone, we think we do but we don't.
My first husband was very loving and made me feel as though I were precious to him...at age 32 after 22 years of marriage, I learned he had numerous homes and women, some who were engaged to him and some who even knew about his wife and kids.
Business trips and so sad to be away from me...I am very good at spotting lies and yet I had no idea...we don't know anyone but ourselves.

a reply to: OpenEars123

I've already started hating/despising certain asinine pointless things myself over the last few years. That's what bothers me, is it a sign of times to come???

Maybe they really are asinine and pointless

He's actually in fact THE mist ignorant person I've ever met (due to I'm sure, his insecurities) But that's something I accept I will bender be able to change.

But what if he is not ignorant and he knows things from his experience that you won't understand as such until later in life?

a reply to: Char-Lee

Dayum!

I'm glad that dickhead is now an EX husband. You sound like you deserve waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better, which I'm sure you'll agree with! ;-)

thank you, (and all!) for sharing your advice, and personal stories. I'm very grateful.

Lights off for me now, and I'm really glad I shared this tonight.

Peace and respect!

OE

originally posted by: Char-Lee
a reply to: OpenEars123

I've already started hating/despising certain asinine pointless things myself over the last few years. That's what bothers me, is it a sign of times to come???

Maybe they really are asinine and pointless

Lol yes, they really are! :-D

originally posted by: OpenEars123
a reply to: Char-Lee

Dayum!

I'm glad that dickhead is now an EX husband. You sound like you deserve waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better, which I'm sure you'll agree with! ;-)

thank you, (and all!) for sharing your advice, and personal stories. I'm very grateful.

Lights off for me now, and I'm really glad I shared this tonight.

Peace and respect!

OE

YOU seem an incredibly sweet and I have no doubt you will always be a great person...no need to even worry! You are considerate of every poster and take it all for whatever we may have to offer. You seem wise already.

Wow, are you my daughter?

one other thing Op, I think the fact that you don't want to be like your dad, already says that you are not.

At least you recognize it and aspire to something better for yourself. That's half the battle right there. Let your intentions and actions mirror your vision for your own life and you'll get there.

BTW, your Dad sounds a lot like my Dad.

originally posted by: OpenEars123

originally posted by: TDawgRex
a reply to: OpenEars123

If you are young I would advise to shut off all doubts NOW!

You are not here to please family members, friends or ATS members. Hell, you're not even here to please yourself! (OK, that sounded all sorts of wrong)

Do not measure yourself by other peoples standards. Measure yourself by your own.

Ok thanks, but I'm still worried I'll end up having my dads' bad traits, even if i did take your advice.
That's what I'm worried about, it's already happening :-/

Well from one to another, I did inherent some of my Dads bad traits. I have his temper. And even though I do everything to hold it at bay, sometimes it doesn't work.

The trick though is to learn from it and move on.

a reply to: OpenEars123

The fact that you want to improve on your dad's faults means he did a good job as a dad.

With that being said, one of the things you can do if you find yourself being negative about something and becoming obsessive is to create a new memory of whatever it is that is bothering you.

One way you can do that is by writing whatever it is into a story(doesn't have to be read by anyone but you) and about how that object/situation is now positive and write it as being positive.

So say for instance that you get really annoyed about traffic and bad drivers and that negativity stays with you for far too long...write a story where you take the situation and make it more positive and think of that story every time you feel that negative situation taking over. Now you see a bad driver and you think of how you probably just saved their lives by keeping your cool. Maybe make a story about a safe driving, cool headed superhero, who by fate was decided to drive around bad drivers destined to die that day.

Just an idea. Probably sounds ridiculous but it works better than you'd think.

a reply to: Char-Lee

Awe shucks 😊thank you! 😊

originally posted by: liveandlearn
one other thing Op, I think the fact that you don't want to be like your dad, already says that you are not.

Thank you, I really hope you're right!! 👍 👍 👍

originally posted by: kosmicjack
At least you recognize it and aspire to something better for yourself. That's half the battle right there. Let your intentions and actions mirror your vision for your own life and you'll get there.

BTW, your Dad sounds a lot like my Dad.

Many thanks again 👍, you defnitely know where I'm coming from if our dad's are similar 😌