A Huge Thank You

As the title states, I wish to give you all a HUGE thank you for being there for me for the last few months. You all know who you are and a mere thank you is not enough.

Many of you knew that my father had been seriously ill for the last 8 or 9 months. I have come here twice is search of on outlet and to ask for prayers, thoughts, or anything else you could give during that time. You all came out in more numbers than I expected to show/offer all of that and more. It was overwhelming and an extremely pleasant surprise.

You all are not just words on a screen and your words on my screen gave me comfort in some very rough times.

My father lost his long fight and passed away this Tuesday at the age of 62. While it was expected, the pain was no less and I realized that as silly as it had been to hold out hope for "forever" and knowing that it was illogical.... It was something I caught myself wishing for even though it was impossible.

I have been gone for a few days to try and get things sorted, and to help my mother get sorted... But I couldn't NOT thank those of you here for your unwavering support during all of this.

I know that this is not a support forum and some could not care less, but you all should be proud that you can come out in support of a fellow member that you owed absolutely nothing to. Even folks I disagree with very often reached their hand out to me and that counts for a lot in my book. It definitely shows us and others what the ATS community is really made of.

He put up a helluva fight for as long as he possibly could, but it is something that is bigger than all of us and something none of us will be able to escape in this life.

There is relief that the endless suffering has ceased, but there is still that raw part that aches at the thought of not being able to pick up the phone and call him anytime, celebrate Father's Day with him, Christmas morning and so on. It's like a rock or other permanent fixture has been removed so cleanly that one could wonder if it ever existed at all. It's a double edged sword if there ever was one.

I don't need replies, stars, or flags. What I need most, is for those of you who reached out to me during these many months.... to just know that it was appreciated more than you could ever know.

Thank you. Sincerely. I wish I had something more than that to offer you guys... but that's it and I hope you will continue to reach out to others when they need it just as I did.

You all are some of the finest individuals that I have not yet had the chance to meet face to face.

Thank you again. I will ever forget it.

I appreciate your appreciation for all. Sorry for your loss. Nature takes its course. I hope the grief passes and the joy resumes as soon as it can.

originally posted by: skunkape23
I appreciate your appreciation for all. Sorry for your loss. Nature takes its course. I hope the grief passes and the joy resumes as soon as it can.

Thank you. After a loss like that it is always nice to get to the point where you can laugh and smile while you are talking about them, instead a being distraught all over again. I think most all of our loved ones would prefer those they left behind to carry on and good spirits/memories. It's just always a little easier said than done.

Thank you again skunkape. I'll get there. I'm trying top just get back to a semblance of normalcy now that everything is aid and done.

Condolences. I have had a lot of practice at losing people so the only advice that works is to remember the good times. Forget the end and remember the good. The memory will live on via your memories.

P

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe

originally posted by: skunkape23
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Thank you. After a loss like that it is always nice to get to the point where you can laugh and smile while you are talking about them, instead a being distraught all over again. I think most all of our loved ones would prefer those they left behind to carry on and good spirits/memories. It's just always a little easier said than done.

Thank you again skunkape. I'll get there. I'm trying top just get back to a semblance of normalcy now that everything is aid and done.

We all love you. I know all too well how difficult it can be to lose a dear one. Just know that it will pass. Feel free to have a good cry. Holding it in only makes it worse.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

My sincerest condolences Kanga.

It is heartwarming to see that the membership of this website continue to show the most laudable of qualities, in their responses to you on this matter. It is plain that no matter what brings us low, we as members have access to a rich source of compassion in our various times of need, and that is the essence of community. This one, is a community of which we should all be proud, and never more so than in times such as these.

I hope that you can find some small measure of comfort, in amongst the natural grief you must be feeling at the moment. You and yours, are in the prayers of me and mine.

originally posted by: pheonix358
Condolences. I have had a lot of practice at losing people so the only advice that works is to remember the good times. Forget the end and remember the good. The memory will live on via your memories.

P

Thank you Pheonix.

In the end, you're right. The only thing we can do is cling to those memories and try to do them some small justice if/when the occasion arises. I'm sorry you've had so much practice. I have had more than I would like... But that's the way it goes I suppose. It's inevitable. One can easily understand those that prefer to live as hermits and not foster attachments, but on the flip side, even though losses hurt us, we would never have any of those memories we all come to cherish. It's the price of admission I guess.

originally posted by: skunkape23

We all love you. I know all too well how difficult it can be to lose a dear one. Just know that it will pass. Feel free to have a good cry. Holding it in only makes it worse.

Thank you. You are awesome. I got the good cry out today as it was a full military funeral and those always get me far worse to begin with. I'm definitely not a crier by nature, but you can't always control it. I did feel much better. I came home and thought I was going to collapse before I could get to the bed, I was so worn out. The crying was definitely a long time coming.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Thank you TrueBrit. I agree 100%. It's usually pretty hardcore around here, but most seem to be able to rise above it when something happens to any member. That does say a lot about the people we have here. It's refreshing and restores some faith that can easily be lost along the way.

I appreciate the prayers more than you know. If one day I can return the favor, just let me know. I hope I never have to, but all things are inevitable I suppose.

Thanks again TrueBrit. Seriously.

Your kind heart warmed mine in the last week and taught me that having love and understanding is the most powerful way to solve problems. Your well balanced nature and reaching for your heart before judging tells me that your father did right in raising you. I'm sure he was and will forever be proud of you.

Sorry for your loss.
*virtual hugs*

You won't see it coming. The next time you get hit with a hard laugh, you will understand the power of good comedy. Laughter is the medicine you need. Don't seek it or try to force it. It heals by surprise.

Hugs My Friend,I'm So Very, Very Sorry for your Loss.
Yes, it's Hurts You, But he's in a Much, Much Better Place with other Loved Ones.
Keep those memories in your Heart, he will look and see your Heart filled with Love for him and he'll know it was OK to leave you.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

My Dad died in the beginning of June from brain cancer so I know what you are feeling.
When it happened I kept everything to myself.(as I usually do)
I was in the chat room the day he died and said I didnt want to be a wet blanket and bring people down and than I logged off.

I woke up the next morning to a kind message in my mailbox from another member....and it felt nice,like someone actually gave a crap.

If the mods are wondering why I have a had a few posts pulled in the last week...there is your answer.

My therapy has been going out in the woods but,I did a trip that was torture for me.
Climbed 2.5 kms up a rockface with no rope and a full pack and drank swamp water because i said screw it and winged it....a bit dramatic yes...but I got a lot out.
I hadnt seen my dad in 20 years so I had a bit to deal with and had a few regrets I had to face.

I see and feel your pain...you are not alone.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
a reply to: DrumsRfun

I'm so, so sorry and I feel for both of you. I lost my Dad recently and it really hurts. It's so hard to see someone close suffer and there are mixed feelings about wanting to keep them here or letting them go.
I haven't resorted to swamp water yet, but I'll bear it in mind lol! It's true though, you are not alone Kanga and if either of you want to scream one day then my U2U box will welcome you.

I'll be thinking of you both and hoping life treats you well for the next wee while.

B x

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Aww, Kanga...I'm so glad you've received a lot of support from members here.
I have too, and it's meant so much to me.

Getting past all the hurt at a time like this, is a long process.
Having people to talk to is really important.

You just reach out to us, whenever you feel the need. As skunkape said, you are loved by many.
Your expression of gratitude in this thread shows a lot about your character.

You are good people, and I am proud to have you as a friend.
*hugs* and much love,
jacy

Sincere condolences on your fathers passing .. he will live on in your heart and memory ..

Reux and Drumsrfun, My deepest sympathy and a world of love to you both. I lost my Father 7 years ago and know exactly what it feels like to lose someone close. HUGS!!!!!!!!!

As for the people here, they have helped me so much through the years and I couldn't ask for a better group of friends. This community is amazingly wonderful!!!

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe



G,day Roo girl
i was only thinking of you and your dad yesterday.
sorry to hear that he has passed away.
the pain will pass
the sorrow will linger
but the joy in/of the memories of your times spent together will not
be at peace
pronto

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

That sounds really hard Kangaru, sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my parents.

originally posted by: Qumulys
Your kind heart warmed mine in the last week and taught me that having love and understanding is the most powerful way to solve problems. Your well balanced nature and reaching for your heart before judging tells me that your father did right in raising you. I'm sure he was and will forever be proud of you.

Sorry for your loss.
*virtual hugs*

How can I say thank you enough for words like your's? I wish there were a better way to tell you (and have you actually know) what that means to me.

I think most all of us (no matter how old) still like to think that our parents would be proud. It's funny how that doesn't go away once you're an adult.

Just.... Thank you. For everything.

originally posted by: guohua

Hugs My Friend,I'm So Very, Very Sorry for your Loss.
Yes, it's Hurts You, But he's in a Much, Much Better Place with other Loved Ones.
Keep those memories in your Heart, he will look and see your Heart filled with Love for him and he'll know it was OK to leave you.

That he is guohua... That he is. It's been a mighty damn long road for all of us. I found myself relieved that there was no more suffering and then guilty for the same thought at the same time. I guess that happens to everyone who has had to deal with something similar. Thank you for your support on and off board. It is not wasted... That I can promise you.

originally posted by: DrumsRfun
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

My Dad died in the beginning of June from brain cancer so I know what you are feeling.
When it happened I kept everything to myself.(as I usually do)
I was in the chat room the day he died and said I didnt want to be a wet blanket and bring people down and than I logged off.

I woke up the next morning to a kind message in my mailbox from another member....and it felt nice,like someone actually gave a crap.

If the mods are wondering why I have a had a few posts pulled in the last week...there is your answer.

My therapy has been going out in the woods but,I did a trip that was torture for me.
Climbed 2.5 kms up a rockface with no rope and a full pack and drank swamp water because i said screw it and winged it....a bit dramatic yes...but I got a lot out.
I hadnt seen my dad in 20 years so I had a bit to deal with and had a few regrets I had to face.

I see and feel your pain...you are not alone.

I thank you for taking the time to offer me support when you, yourself are experiencing the same great loss. I am more sorry than I can say about that and wish I had known so I could reach out to you like you did for me.

I found myself lashing out here to one or two posters just like you. It's easy to do in times like that for sure. I have told a few here that my U2U works both ways. If you ever find yourself in need of an ear or a shoulder, I offer mine. I may not be the smartest person in the world. There are tons of things I lack... But listening is not one of those. Don't think that it would be a burden to me or anyone else you decide to reach out to. It isn't. Sometimes we don't need answers... just ears. Please let me or anyone else know when those dark days sneak in. None of us has to be alone and that is more heartwarming than just about anything else I can think of.

It seems a lot of us here always feel like sharing this stuff with others is burdening them with it, when most of those folks never think twice about opening up their heart to anyone who needs it.

I thank you again and my offer stands. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours, as I know it is still very painful.

originally posted by: beansidhe
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
a reply to: DrumsRfun

I'm so, so sorry and I feel for both of you. I lost my Dad recently and it really hurts. It's so hard to see someone close suffer and there are mixed feelings about wanting to keep them here or letting them go.
I haven't resorted to swamp water yet, but I'll bear it in mind lol! It's true though, you are not alone Kanga and if either of you want to scream one day then my U2U box will welcome you.

I'll be thinking of you both and hoping life treats you well for the next wee while.

B x

I am so sorry for your loss beansidhe. I know we talked before several weeks ago about this and I had no clue that your father had already passed. I know we were in the same boat time wise with our fathers... I just am so sorry and wish I had known.

Please feel free to use my U2U as well. Don't think that you can't since my loss. Please. If anything know that I do know your pain and do not mind at all having company while working through a lot of this. If you would like company to do the same from time to time, please don't hesitate to let me know.

It means a lot to me that you would take the time to comfort me after your own recent loss. I thank you for that. A lot.

originally posted by: darkbake
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

That sounds really hard Kangaru, sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my parents.

Thank you Darkbake. I think it's hard for most of us to imagine it until it happens. For most of us, our parents were/are invincible. They are our rock. Our port in a storm. Imagining losing all of that is heart wrenching to say the least. Unfortunately it is something we will all have to deal with if we live long enough.

That brings to mind the whole... It's better to have loved and lost thing. It's the truth. I wouldn't trade the pain of the loss for even a fraction of what joy, wisdom, comfort, and humor that I was blessed enough to experience.

originally posted by: Expat888
Sincere condolences on your fathers passing .. he will live on in your heart and memory ..

Thank you Expat. You are a man of few words most of the time, but in those times... As in this time... They have a wealth of meaning and I am sincerely grateful for them.

originally posted by: jacygirl
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Aww, Kanga...I'm so glad you've received a lot of support from members here.
I have too, and it's meant so much to me.

Getting past all the hurt at a time like this, is a long process.
Having people to talk to is really important.

You just reach out to us, whenever you feel the need. As skunkape said, you are loved by many.
Your expression of gratitude in this thread shows a lot about your character.

You are good people, and I am proud to have you as a friend.
*hugs* and much love,
jacy

Thank you Jacy. "You are good people" made me smile. Are you sure you aren't from my neck of the woods in the US? You'd fit right in.

You are always ready with a kind word for me and many others on here. I value that, as I am sure many others do. Thank you for reaching out to me and I hope that I can repay that kindness one day.

I'll gladly take your *hugs* and send you some back for all the support you've given me during this time. I think people underestimate what one kind word can mean in situations like these (and many others for that matter) and that's a sad thing. You should know that they are not underestimated here. I am thankful for you Jacy. So thanks For being... you.

originally posted by: Night Star
Reux and Drumsrfun, My deepest sympathy and a world of love to you both. I lost my Father 7 years ago and know exactly what it feels like to lose someone close. HUGS!!!!!!!!!

As for the people here, they have helped me so much through the years and I couldn't ask for a better group of friends. This community is amazingly wonderful!!!

Thank you Night. You are one of the most compassionate people I have ever seen. On the internet and IRL. That's saying a lot these days. I hope those around you appreciate you as much as you deserve. And you are right, the community is amazing. I have been here for years and it shouldn't shock me that so many reach out when another member needs it.... But it does. That kind of support seems to be running short in a lot of places and people lately and it is mighty comforting to see it here when it occurs.

originally posted by: pronto
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

G,day Roo girl
i was only thinking of you and your dad yesterday.
sorry to hear that he has passed away.
the pain will pass
the sorrow will linger
but the joy in/of the memories of your times spent together will not
be at peace
pronto

Thank you Pronto. It would be nice if other people didn't have to experience the loss of their parents, but since that is impossible, I can only be grateful that I am not alone in it. Your words are beautiful and correct. I know that one day the memories will bring smiles instead of tears.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe


I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. Like you mentioned, even if You know it's coming, it is no easier to deal with. That's similar of My Dad and Mom who lost their battle with Cancer. We also knew of my GrandPa's passing before his time came, but at least he lived a full life and passed on from old age.

"You all are some of the finest individuals that I have not yet had the chance to meet face to face." That quoted from You is it right there. This place is full of compassionate people, who at times can be bitter in their reply's and stand firm on their beliefs, but overall can be so understanding and warm hearted that it makes all the negatives balance out. Ya know?
I wrote a poem for my Wife back in 1999 when She lost Her Mother, Father, and Grandmother, at different times but only a couple weeks apart that She said helped her somewhat deal with all the loss's.
This is the last of that short poem for You......

" Always keep the Good Memories Close to Your Heart, and keep making new Good memories to leave others when we part."

Link to Full Poem page: syxpak.tripod.com...
Syx.