How to Rear Children for a Life in Prison: cold, harsh, detached, rigid, insensitive, distant, abusi

HOW TO REAR CHILDREN FOR A LIFE IN PRISON: BE A COLD, HARSH, DETACHED, RIGID, INSENSITIVE, ABSENT, EMOTIONALLY ABSENT, EMOTIONALLY--VERBALLY--PHYSICALLY--SEXUALLY ABUSIVE PARENT, ...

I have a few threads up about preventing and overcoming ATTACHMENT DISORDER/ RAD--Reactive Attachment Disorder.

I suspect most folks have a whole lot more experience and familiarity with DETACHMENT PARENTING wherein the ATTACHMENT DISORDER patterns and features were created by flawed parenting.

It occurred to me that articulating some of the more reliable ways to help insure that one's offspring had an above average chance of spending considerable adult years in prison might be a way for many folks to think things through more clearly with better focus.

ATTACHMENTS: WHY YOU LOVE, FEEL AND ACT THE WAY YOU DO:

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339042498&sr=1-2

Has a section in the last chapters about how to do things right. They also discuss 'DETACHMENT PARENTING.'

However, this OP is off the top of my head from my 30+ years of counseling experience and my watching families extensively most of my 60+ years of living.

IF YOU WANT TO HELP INCREASE THE ODDS YOUR OFFSPRING WILL SPEND CONSIDERABLE NUMBERS OF YEARS IN PRISON, THE FOLLOWING ARE THINGS THAT SHOULD BE DONE--particularly ages 0-8 and the teen years.

1. Insure that each child does NOT FEEL LOVED.

2. Particularly avoid healthy affection of a genuine, sensitive, consistent sort.

3. Be cold, harsh, erratic, irrational, abusive in verbal communications.

4. Be angry, arbitrary, arrogant, insensitive and out of proportion in discipline. Remember that discipline WITHOUT SUFFICIENT RELATIONSHIP demonstrating understanding and cherishing of the child--will virtually always result in rebellion.

5. Expect perfection and persistently be derisive and punitive when perfection is not delivered--i.e. all the time--as perfection is an unrealistic, unreasonable, unreachable goal. And, it usually has more to do with a parent's sense of low self-worth instead of truly trying to train the child in adult skills.

6. Avoid meeting the child's NEEDS--particularly 0-8 years old and very particularly as an infant. That teaches the child that the world is a scary undependable place and that other people cannot be counted on to help meet one's needs or to be there for one when needed. Therefore, the individual grows up frustrated with a tendency to just DEMAND and TAKE things because they have no realistic hope of receiving things through honorable relationships.

7. Avoid treating the child as an individual with the child's own perspective, needs, tastes, wants, etc. that are as fitting as any other individual's. Demand that the child be an extension of the parent to try and prove to the parent's dad and the world that the parent is worthwhile and wonderful instead of the luke warm pile of puke the parent has felt like all his life because of his lifelong RAD.

8. Parents out of their own insecurities--particularly women are good at this but some men, too--SMOTHER THE CHILD . . . trying to control the child's every moment and behavior. Insist that the child breathe, walk and think in lock-step with the parent and throw a panic attack fit when the child shows the least bit of creativity and/or independence and thinking on their own.

9. Avoid modeling how to handle frustration equitably without a lot of emotional drama, distress and cursing. Show the child that the only things worth doing when frustrated are to throw fits, curse, blame others, destroy property, generally act like an out of control 2 year old in an adult's body.

10. Act supremely selfishly at all times--particularly around the child. Get in lots of p*ssing contests for control and for 'winning' every 'battle' until the child gives up and curls up in a fetal position giving up on you as a parent and on life as worth the bother.

11. Never admit you as a parent are/were wrong. Arrogantly demand submission and kowtowing at all times over every petty issue and all the bigger issues. Utterly fail to demonstrate humility and the maturity and capacity to admit mistakes and learn from them.

12. Insure that even infants HAVE to 100% conform their NEEDS AND WANTS to the parents' fantasies, arrogance, sense of worthlessness, tastes, preferences . . . see the child as a trophy object to be paraded as the perfect little darling before all the relatives, friends and co-workers. Emotionally & verbally pressure and batter the child into conforming to that fantasy in whatever way's necessary.

Feel free to add others you have observed or experienced.

a reply to: BO XIAN

We are seeing Increases in ( spectrum of emotional, behavioural and communication difficulties) most of these are given a label "autism" if the very same child is older when seen by a shrink they are given a mental illness disorder label.
I have seen two rigid "nerdy" parents have child with their same traits from birth and have them diagnosed as "autistic".

It has just become a trendy label for humanities dysfunction in the areas of emotion, behaviour and communication.

originally posted by: BDBinc
a reply to: BO XIAN

We are seeing Increases in ( spectrum of emotional, behavioural and communication difficulties) most of these are given a label "autism" if the very same child is older when seen by a shrink they are given a mental illness disorder label.
I have seen two rigid "nerdy" parents have child with their same traits from birth and have them diagnosed as "autistic".

It has just become a trendy label for humanities dysfunction in the areas of emotion, behaviour and communication.

I GREATLY AGREE.

Then there's the whole institutionalist addiction to

LABELS to begin with.

As though a label pigeon-holing someone somehow solved something real.

Sigh.

Autism is a real phenomenon with even brain level MRI sorts of detectable differences. However, to shove everyone and their dog into the label unfittingly is nonsense.

And to treat someone with a label as

an "it,"

. . . inhuman, imho.

Children are persons and NEED to be treated with fitting levels of respect if they are to grow into fully functioning respectable and respectING adults.

Yes, the real psychology of harming someone's core. Not all detachments are a result of abuse, some are brain chemistry, sometimes inherited, such as paranoia, and conditions that cause lack of strong positive ties.

But, its harshness and things that cause separation anxiety in a child. And some families do this deliberately to create sociopaths, generational group membership.

a reply to: Unity_99

I think the percentages are overwhelmingly on the side of the conditioning of the early years 0-8 = DETACHMENT.

Yeah, stuff happens hormonally and even genetically and from accidents. But the numbers of individuals involved are minute by comparison.

And, in many of those cases there is ALSO early conditioning from horrid parenting habits.

And all that doesn't even get into the business of 'spiritual genetics' wherein things are passed down to the 3rd & 4th generation.

#1.. our oldest who is almost 21 now was diagnosed as being autistic.. BY A PEDIATRIC NEUROLOGIST. If your GP, psych, or whatever says your kid is on the spectrum... Id definitely question their qualification to make this diagnosis.

#2 Not as much as I did.. but I work on and off with kids. You wouldnt believe the amount of kids with some of these issues you are highlighting. Its like an entire generation were raised by psychopaths... they are all damaged. Then again, I am working with "at risk youth"/"urban youth".. nice labels for poor kids in bad neighborhoods.. not all but the majority black.

WE .. that means all of us including those who have never seen an inner city neighborhood... have a significant issue now and definitely in the next decade as these kids are already having kids of their own.

a reply to: BO XIAN

become slowly involved in emotionally disturbed drug abusing criminals life
allow them to breed
make sure the babies are born addicted to heroin
get parents onto the methadone program
put them in a "facility"
have one of them "die" in the facility
keep the surviving parent hooked on methadone for 30+ years
allow them to mess their kids up
allow the cycle to repeat

one of the "doctors" behind all this (in australia) is stella dalton
known associate of underworld figures
..and has named her daughter "isis"

a reply to: Advantage

ABSOLUTELY INDEED.

DETACHMENT REARING CAUSES LITERAL BRAIN DAMAGE in the areas of the brain having to do with managing emotions and managing relationships.

And mangled kids having mangled kids in the fantasy someone will finally love them . . . is a disaster from the git-go.

The globalist oligarchy has known for decades what destroys a culture--destroy the family first--and the destruction of the culture and individuals will follow. And it has . . . and is accelerating.

a reply to: UNIT76

INDEED. Well put.

Interesting about the Doc and her underworld associations. They are all in bed with the dark lord shoving the planet down the chute to hell via Armageddon.

The drug abuse thing is one of the most traitorous things the oligarchy has ever perpetrated on fellow human beings in the history of any nation, imho.

No one has a chance--well not much of a chance--once on that merry-go-round.

ONE MAJOR WAY to help insure many years in prison for one's children . . .

is to persistently rear them from 0-8 years old

THOROUGHLY IGNORING THEIR FEELINGS, their needs, and certainly their wants.

Give the child the impression that the child MUST be a 100% extension of the smothering parent, marching lock-step in a Vulcan mind-meld totally with the parent's wishes, whims, feelings, craziness etc.

Eventually, the child will rebel in a big way and probably not stop rebelling against all authority for the rest of the child's life.

How Old are you?

Where did you come up with information anyways? Did you actually Question 10 people in Prison or was it 100? Would not touch any scale even say 2,500 inmates!

Actually. The most important age where a child does the most Learning is at 1yr to 3yrs of age. Some even earlier say 6mo's. Now depending on the Parents Life. Be it Poor, Rich, plain out Broke can have different outcomes to said child. You pretty much listed everything that a Family Should have although most of the time it's not that way.

Not saying the Household is Cold, Cruel and all Live pretty happy lives is not the point. Back in your day the pressure were not there; added one we have now. Most kids are on Drugs by the school system at an early age. Seems AD BD CBA SOP is what our Children have! Mainly BS made up stuff since the School System can not handle; Should I say Gifted Children? Plus the system is so OLD, Outdated and Pretty much teaches our Children Nothing! Just ask them what they Learned in school today and see what One Gets.

By the age of 3, Hearing nothing but NO, confuses said Child while said Parent actually IS doing the NO. At that age, one is exploring, learning as the brain goes about putting things together. Simple things like Hard/soft, cold/hot building its Own World with the things it can Touch! Why parents call age 2 the Horrors LOL because at age 1 it was unable to put things into perspective so has a gap that needs to be understood.

At 3-4 age a child starts to build the actually bonds with their parents since it has somewhat of a small understanding of it enviorment and is able to start telling the difference between Like/Dislike of things. Of Course all this depends if the parents made it pass the age of 2, Did not have to deal with Social Services and learned something from it.

Learned! Who has Learned How to be a Parent? Now days kids are having kids and have not even finish High School! By the Time your child enters the school system, it is rigged so Parents Lose Control! Best Parents in the World, Loving, Caring end up being the bad parent while in school. say your child has said problem at school. As a Parent one goes to school and deals with it. Something happens, 2 things really. First said child begins to get picked on and or Social Services is called. Either the child needs pills or said parent is having problems! That is Their Responce!

So after said Things that happen at School, a seperation begins with Child and Parent. Child finds friends to hang out with, Parents wonder what happen to said Child and a gap is created. This is how the system works, Parents are locked out both ways and if by chance Stood with said Child while all this was going can still even lead to prison.

It is the people one hangs out with, learns from while growing up. Even high class children if you look at it from what you see on the news have this problem! Everything you just Listed was actually Done as a Parent and still go to prison. The Fault is Not Home, Parents but the System.

And that System is Out to make money! Prison is so Easy, thats why its So Full! They do not want to make it Hard Time, since most would follow said rules and most would never go! Want to Keep your Child out of Prison? Pay attention to their Friends, who they hang out with and Where one seeks out at night! Although it would be best to treat said Child as Yourself, Take the time to Listen to what one has to say! They will Tell You, or at least Try if no responce, its up to Their Friends who are Children themselves and think they Know Everything!

Peace

a reply to: infoseeker26754

I think you make many good points.

95% of the prisoners in prison have serious degrees of ATTACHMENT DISORDER.

And, from my own observations counseling and teaching for 30+ years, I've seen the results of DETACHMENT PARENTING . . . the more serious the ATTACHMENT DISORDER, the more likely trouble with the law and imprisonment.

It is an epidemic problem.

Certainly the globalist oligarchy has been increasing the problem from many directions on many levels including the school issues you raised.

The first 5-6 years are the most critical, certainly.

IF THE CHILD FEELS LOVED DURING THOSE YEARS, a lot of other errors can be overcome.

The research is rather clear on that score in a landmark study done 30-40 years ago looking at all the other studies of all the factors in child-rearing that resulted in success as adults.

No. I don't have a ref. That was 30-40 years ago.

a reply to: BO XIAN

I agree very much with psychology part. But there is quite alot more who are detached from humans and in fact view others in very suspicious ways, even threatening ways, because of paranoia. Its enough of a percent that you can encounter it amongst those you know and have met, and even family. In addition to knowing a family that this ran in and a suicide of a young man as a result, without going into any identifying details we knew a man and woman, with a child, separated, and he believed she was jeopardizing his business, targetting him, when she found his condition alarming and was doing all she could to avoid and keep her child safe. So he killed her and himself in front of his child. Due to his paranoia, he is also a victim of the crime. He had friends who cared about him too, and was extremely delusional about her and others in a paranoid way, and it was really tragic. This is another element to the problem and its an important element because it should keep people away from prejudging situations and learning more. Can't help people otherwise.

a reply to: Unity_99

I think your point about the case you related is well taken.

I just don't understand how you are relating it to the thread topic. Not being critical. Would just like to understand better the connection you are making. Could you please elaborate &/or clarify?

a reply to: BO XIAN

Its related in that not all detachments are environmental, ie nurture, ie parenting. Detachment issues themselves can be seen as both sociopathic and psychopathic and in some cases physiological. Just bringing up that there are many issues involved.

I'm always worried about kids and in this world how they turn out, how they get broken in their cores. They need to be interceded for and people need to pay attention to issues that they don't know about, its important.

Even when someone is becoming psychotic ie a physiological/mental illness, there are times to intervene and give someone hope and choices.

Alot of young people, teenagers who have separation disorder and those who may be becoming psychotic, benefit from some happy moments , finding activities that are a joy for them and not just in prison, or in scarsity situations, like group homes, after possibly being taken away from their homes, without much to do.

We had some ministry kids stay at our place, they more or less were getting away from their house. But it was too hard, and we were glad to move. But we put up with a lot. I didn't have the resources to help them. If I'd won a lottery would have created some eco farms, with lots of fun things, they liked video games, not ragged on their smokes or minor things because that would mean they'd be stealing or becoming lost, you have to compromise with their concepts. And they'd have work, part time, some schooling, part time, lots of play and activites, from beach, to art, to meditation, to martial arts, to learning skills, life coaching type stuff but focus on their talents and what they really wanted to do, live their joys. Heal up by helping others.

And if you're very tolerant of things they insist on doing, then you actually have a chance if you had resources of pulling them away from bad things that would make train wrecks of their lives, which to me is the most important part. We had a lot of things stolen and had lots of talks with them, but we also didn't want to have them in worse situations and were trying to suggest ways they could simply buy what they wanted. I'd still want to find those young men and intercede if I could and its a series of circumstances that takes some resources that can actually intercede. In our case there was blow up with a couple more hard core ones, and we moved, and took one with us who was in danger at that point. He needed to be set up in safety himself.

I believe i safety for everyone, that all these kids needed safety first, fun and games like my kids, and then things that would make money and earn competence and also things that would be joys in their lives and healing in their lives.

a reply to: Unity_99

Thanks. I appreciate your good points.

Certainly those factors all contribute to distress and serious mental, emotional, relationship traumas for individuals.

Congrats on your outreach to troubled kids. I've often felt similarly in terms of wishing I could fund ranch settings and half-way houses etc.

Yeah, protecting your own family is a super priority, too.

I think I focus on ATTACHMENT DISORDER so much because it is by far and away the biggest cause statistically with the most victimized by it with the most costly damage to the most people and to society. And, because, it is preventable and somewhat treatable.

Hormonal, accidental brain damage, genetics sources of mental, emotional, relationship problems have varying degrees of treatability, too. And I'm certainly all for such sources of problems getting the right treatment.

Thanks for your contributions to this thread.

Blessings,
.

a reply to: BO XIAN

Just Had To Check.

Having been there Myself and How I ended up there Was not due to my Parents not Loving Me. Although after getting out and passing said Parole: First in 5 years my Parole Officer said! That was like so long ago, Teen Years!

Yet while spending Time, I came to find out that most of them actually were raised in low income, while the Crazy Ones were in High Incomes. Most were trapped anyway meaning, was all there was going in their Hood. Plus the Fact that You can have Fun, do just about anything anyways and not have to work. Really, if People actually Knew what the Return Rate was. Most would be Shocked! So much for the Prison System!

You are able to complete school, if one needs too or continue even furture if one likes! Only a few actually want too. The rest is watching TV, reading/writing, radio, cards and workshops like Toys for Tots! Hell! You can even Order Take-Out if you have the money!

Anyway, off their some since the misconception of prison life people just do not know. Most people in prison will tell you that it was due to hanging with the wrong group of people. Only the Rich Kids complained about their Parents! It get down to Having without Effort!

I have to say, if you do have Children. Please allow them to Earn what it is they want at an early age! The thought of giving them $25 per week and having their room trashed, not helping out in the house, yard, anything. Seem to grow in their Heads somehow Money comes from nothing. Plus the fact by the time they leave, hav'ent a Clue on How to do Anything!

Hate to say it, most kids moving out have no idea whats in store for them. No idea of having a checking account, using a washing machine, balance their money. Note on this One, Credit is offered at age 18! Another trap! I should sum this up even better: When said Child leaves the Household. They should know how to do things Themselves!

Maybe not everything, just the idea that one can cook, clean, work and not actually Need someone to do this for them. So when they do Fall In Love someday, it is because they Love the person and not what it is that person Does for them! Thats the Problems children have growing up, school does not teach this and if Home does not either. They turn to whoever can do it for them and That Comes at a price.

Plus between 10-14 is the Drifting Years, having somewhat an Ego undefind, seeks out others of like! Cold world if one asks me! If a Parent is able to allow their Child to Bond with themselves and not try to lock a child at home would add to the Best Interest of that child. Some parents go about do this, this is the only way, ideas that Limit said Child in finding out What it is They Want to do.

So what if they want to go to space, be a DR., drive a race car, whatever! Allow it to play out itself and back them up instead! As a Parent you know, I Hope anyways! Most of the ideas tossed around in one head definds what it is they are interested in. So instead of cutting ones ideas, fill them up with any info You can get on it! Then after the child reads it, said child will Know what it needs to do to go farward. Then it's up to the child to do the work themselves!

You can help them, just do not make it so easy that said Child hasen't Learn to Follow Through.

Peace

a reply to: infoseeker26754

Thanks for your wonderful points.

Certainly loving parenting teaches children that challenge and earning one's way are important parts of life.

Handing everything to kids on a silver platter out of guilt because of the parents NOT loving and bonding with the children in sensitive, growthful, modeling ways

is a dreadfully destructive thing to children.

a reply to: Unity_99

I'm not following you here. One of the Best things to have is Detachment if learned early. If only my Parents knew!

See, while young I was able to Know what people were thinking just by Feeling them. Yet, I could not tell the difference between them and my own. I could not fit in if I wanted too! Plus by the time I was 5, bound by wheelchair; club Feet- both, had too much wax and could not see! Missed alot first years of school until a teacher noticed something odd! Well, not All Teachers are Cold and Heartless!

By the time I was 7, I was a New Kid. Able to hear, see, plus walk! Did have the same problems, so had to do things different. By the time I was 12, quit school since I was not learning anything I wanted to do so found a job. Since my Mother was back then doing the Social services aid training program, never home! Read most of Her Books though and found her job deemed to be Evil and worth paying attention too! Turns out later my Mother actually Became the Evil and ended up being the Dir of half a State!

Opps! At 13, since Her job took notice of Special Me, had to go back to school! Lasted a Week! Frick'in Kids are evil, cold and could not care about anything But Themselves. So another Special Program was given, Inner City Parish and 1/2 the day of school! HA! Best School Ever! Only their 1 1/2 years, completed and had GED by 15. Of course earned extra credits since being their at 5am lol and stayed till after 6pm! Worked in the Day Care before and after school!

We are led to believe we need someone Other then Ourselves. This is how it is and needs to be! Now we have children running the streets, doing all sorts of stupid stuff since the Parents have been taken Out of the picture! Started when Social Services became involved raising Our Children for us. The State found another way to make your money, and that the whole story mind you. Help was given back in the day, I can say They helped Me 2yrs ago when my feet Blew Up into balls of water! Yet theirs a hidden plan under the books to control any child deem Special.

Detachment is nothing more then taking notice of said problem and looking at it from all sides. Today we have Pills to do this for Us! Attachment is the Law of the land, has been for quite some time. Some having none of this crap are called Losers, Loaners, Stuck Up, Cheap, Odd Ball just to name a few. Just not having a FB page one fits into this Box! Yet they are the ones who keep to themselves, stay to their own and never look to see whats on the other side of the Fence! Pisses people Off!

Being attached, you are bound by that attachment period! Working through it and Learning where one gets its Feeling from takes time and pain working it out themselves! You can either deal with it forever and allow it to eat at you or you can Learn to work with it and see that it is just another phase of Life. It will get Better Tomorrow is the Biggest Lie one can tell.

Make an effort Today, give it your best and take the Time to LOVE the Pain! Most choose to Run from the Pain and later when something Today reminds you of the pain you Should have delt with yesterday is just reminding you. You still need to Deal with It!

Peace

a reply to: BO XIAN

Come to think of it. There is No School either! Who knows How to be a Parent when it comes? Most of the time one hears from others who haven't got a clue themselves! Doing the best they can, fail to understand what it is TOO BE a Child!

I can not for the Love of God even remember Being a Child or having any Hood, LOL! Although having raised many other children myself, mostly friends children, kids on the block, brats and Special Children. Somehow I do remember the Lack of Commcation between parent and child.

Parents forget that first, one should be concerned about starting a Friendship, treating said child as a Person. Missing this, child sees only Parent and not actual Friendship. They get Lost in the parenting idea and never seem to get the idea of anything else.

Then at the Teen Years, having no friendship with said Parents, thats what they see instead. Just a Parent, nothing more. Since every other child at school has this, the term Parents gets confused with control. Not every child, some have the most wonderful Friendship with their Parents.

The rest just drop them off at the Nursing Home when the times comes! Would not do that to a Friend would you?

Peace