Doomsday By Design -- [STORY THREAD]

Alan stared suspiciously at Church. It was incredibly out of character for him to offer help to anyone, for anything... still, now wasn't the time to be picky. Church was offering his help, and Alan didn't want to venture into the collapsing world alone.

"I'll go too, sweety." Carol said, emerging from the kitchen. "I wouldn't want any of you going by yourselves. I didn't know Sandra was leaving... I just thought she had an errand to run..."

"Why would you think that?" Alan asked her straightly.

Carol looked down, appearing nervous.

"I r-ran into her outside, when Jackson..." She began, her voice cracking. She gulped, then continued. "I ran into her this morning... early this morning. She said she had something to do, but I..."

"Damn her." Alan swore under his breath. "Damn her! Going out into the apocalypse by herself! Blasted moron!"

Carol stared at Alan, seeming concerned.

"Funny how that works." Another voice joined in.

Alan turned his head just in time to see Angus stepping out of the armory.

"How'd you get in there?!" Alan asked him, flabbergasted.

"I helped build this place, kid... comes with privileges." Angus replied smugly, smirking, placing a particularly large rifle on his shoulder. "So when are we heading out?"

Alan stared speechlessly at him, then at Carol, then Church.

"What about you, Marcus?"

"What?!? Sandra left? Why did she go alone?" Marcus sputtered while holding his chest where Alan kicked him. He glanced over to where Church was getting up as well.

"If your going to get her count me in too!" He said as he got up. Church too agreed to help and even promised not to well be Church.

It has to be the end of the world if Church is actually helpful, Jackson will be shocked. Then it hit him.

"Where is Jackson?" He asked, a sudden panic building in him.

Carol's lip trembled, and she glanced at Alan, who was wearing his usual calm face, although now, it seemed as though he was masking a rather unpleasant thought or feeling...

Angus looked between them, seeming perplexed.

Figuring no one else was going to speak up, at long last, Alan opened his mouth.

"Jackson... is dead."

"Whhat!?! How, who?" Marcus stood there mouth agape, looking at Carol, Alan and Church. Seeing Church made Marcus think of all the times Jackson had stuck up for him. It suddenly hit him that Jackson was going to ever do that again.

"It should have been you Church, not Jackson." he said fighting back the tears. He closed his eyes and stood clenching and unclenching his fists. Taking a deep breath and not waiting for anyone else he walked out of the bunker and into the world they had locked themselves away from.

I didn't even know Jack was gone, thought Church with a cold stone turning in his gut, let alone... dead. Damn it.

"He's right," mumbled Church under his breath, "it should have been me."

Jack was always a better person than church. Always helping others, sticking up for them. Where was Church? He was the one Jackson defended people against, he was the bad guy. What kind of world was it when people like Jack got killed but people like Church got to live? It was too much.

Church stood and went into the bathroom, looking himself square in his eyes, he began to sob. A cold rage building in him from the gut up to his throat and escaping his mouth as a gurgling howl. He lashed out punching the polished steel mirror with all he had, hearing at least one bone in his fist pop.

Screaming with rage, Church croaked out one last "God damn it," before slumping to the bathroom floor and losing himself in a vast maelstrom of cold salty tears.
It should have been me.

"Don't--" Alan called, but Marcus had already slammed the door shut.

Carol was swallowing her tears again, and Alan traded faces with the remaining three comrades, sighing.

"We don't have time for this..." Alan muttered. "Northeast... she was talking about it yesterday, that slip of paper she found... she'll be heading northeast. We need to pack up some supplies and arm ourselves. Pack your bags and go shopping in the armory. We need to leave."

At that, Alan turned and marched away, opening the bunker's door. He slipped outside, seeing Marcus, hoping to reach him somehow... damn it all, why is it always me? I can't deal with sad people...

"M-Marcus." Alan began, speaking to the crushed Marcus, standing board stiff, curling and uncurling his fists repeatedly, facing away. "Sorry... I don't know what to say. I don't know what its like to--"

Alan stopped, a series of old thoughts flashing through his mind.

"No.. well... I guess I do, actually." He said. "But... but we need you right now. I don't like Church any more than you do, believe me. But we have someone missing, and she could get herself killed out there. We need to plan, pack up, and head out, and put our differences aside for the time being. I don't care what you do when this is over, but... but for now... I need your help to find her."

Knock knock knock.

"S.. sweetheart?"

Carol stood just outside of the bathroom door awkwardly, still able to hear Church's cries echoing from inside. The sound of it made her heart sink... she hated it when people were sad... she hated it more than anything...

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Carol asked a little more loudly, placing a hand on the door. "Are you alright?"

Church heard Carol through the door.

What does she want?, thought Church cynically, I wouldn't know what to say. What is wrong with me?

Feeling more than a little broken, Church gave no indication that he heard Carol asking if he was okay. Instead, he just kept sobbing, nursing his bleeding fist with his left hand. All the while asking himself why anyone would care about about a piece of s**t like him.

"Sweety, talk to me." Carol called, her motherly instincts taking her over entirely now.

When Church didn't respond, Carol sighed, feeling depleted.

She coasted into the kitchen, rifling through her bag, wondering what she ought to pack... maybe some medical supplies for the boys, in case they got hurt... and perhaps some sandwitches in plastic wrap...

having felt the need to get some air ryujin had left the house .. moving cautiously not knowing what or who.. if anyone was around there was a silence ... no signs of life anywhere ... nothing moving .. not even any animals out .. the more he saw looking around the more he felt an overwhelming sadness .. and rage at those who had caused all of this ..

up ahead on the street he saw a tracter trailer parked in front of a house .. along with bodies on the ground .. something about one of them looked familiar .. as he got closer he recalled he had seen him in class .. then at sandras bunker .. he recalled now .. he had said his name was jackson and held out his hand to shake .. ryujin regretted now he hadnt taken the few minutes to talk to him.. he decided the least he could do is give jackson a decent burial then let the rest know .. that is if they were still at sandras bunker and hadnt wandered out and got themselves killed like jackson ..

looking around the nearby houses he finally found a shovel .. then headed back and in the yard marked out a space and started to dig .. stopping a couple times to drink water as it was hot .. finally having the grave dug he went over .. paused a moment .. then picked up jackson carried him over to the grave and laid him out in it .. climbing out he filled in the grave ..
he stood in silence a moment .. then thought .. Im sorry jackson you deserved better than this .. may you have a better life in the next world ..

looking around he found a couple boards to make a marker with .. he walked back over to jacksons grave sat then using his tanto carved jacksons name on one of the boards .. fastened it to the other making it to a rough cross as he knew it was a symbol of the faith of the people here .. he stood went to the head of the grave and hammered it into the ground with the shovel ..

He stood there in silence awhile not really sure what to say ..

looking over at the other bodies decided it better to burn them .. he put them in a pile in middle of the road .. then from a nearby yard cut a length of garden hose found a empty container .. it took longer to find enough vehicles to siphon petrol from .. finally he went back .. thought a minute .. then went and found five long garden stakes and a piece of plywood .. in another garage he found some paint hammer and nails .. going back he wrote a sign : these four were bandits .. this is the penalty for banditry he then attached the sign to a stake and hammered it into the ground .. after that he spaced the remaining four stakes into the ground .. went back to the pile of corpses cut off the heads mounted them on the stakes ..

he then doused the bodies with the petrol hed siphoned .. lit a match and tossed it on them igniting them ..
he stood silently watching them burn as plumes of smoke drifted up to the sky ..

After a time he decided to see if anyone was left at the bunker to let them know of jacksons death .. he hoped they were all ok ..

Marcus heard Alan come out and try to speak with him, it was just that too much had happened for him to process. It was like Alan was miles away and Marcus could hear him but not make out the words till he heard.

"we have someone missing, and she could get herself killed out there."

That brought things into focus. Jackson may be dead but some of the others could still be helped.

But also it dawned on him. Jackson's mom must of saw it happen, dear god she must of seen him die.

"I'm here Alan and I will help you find her." He said softly.

"Are you Marcus?" Alan asked firmly. "Are you sure because we are going to need Church's help too."

"Yea I understand that, it's just just..." Marcus began. He stopped for a moment to steel himself before continuing. "Jackson was the first friend I made here, he looked out for me and after everything that has happened since the school. Well now he is gone. He go's out the door and I didn't go with him. Or even say good-bye."

"It is the first invitation by a man that I have accepted," she said, feeling a bit mischievous while lowering her weapon and following him to a small table with tea set out. She knew this on, the tea ceremony. Then she added in a serious tone, "Tell me also how honorable behaviour allows one to work with those that would, so easily, kill children. That act is forbidden in our society and the sheer quantity of laws that needed to be broken together with the broken oath of office each man took, the act is terrible and no excuse can be acceptable. So, how does your honor code get around such acts of pure horror".

She sat, passive and alert, with a quizzical expression on her face and waited for the all important answer as he started to pour the tea.

ryujin sat listened to what she said .. took a sip of tea.. thought for a moment she is as ill mannered as westerners are .. not surprising after all a westerner had raised her .. it was going to take a long time to teach this one honour .. or I could just take her head for her insolence .. he considered her question briefly .. then recalling the 17th century monk soho takuan he replied ..

One is not likely to achieve understanding from the explanation of another ..

ryujin sat quietly looking out over the garden ..

Sue-Lin reacted to the non answer by asking, "Why do you assume that your honor code is better than mine? I was trained in yours and rejected it. I still need an answer Ryujin. One that I can understand please."

Ryujin calmly replied ..
How do you kill a hydra ?

Sue-Lin answered with a smile, "Restricted to the weapons you prefer using, you cut off its heads. I think a Kilo of C4 up its bum would be my choice, blow the whole thing back to hell. Your answers are the answers of one trained in political intrigue. It is politics and the lies and deceptions inherent in the system that form men with your beliefs. It is that very system that has led us to this juncture of our species.

Politics is dead. Now we are back to something else, the pure survival of the species and who will rule over that survival. I do not approve of your Honor system, but I know it well enough. Perhaps it is you who should look into your soul and not worry about 400 year old musings of a senile man."

ryujin took a sip of tea ..

Yes .. you cut off its head ..
Those men were only part of the body .. tools created and used for purpose .. just like the guns you use also created and used for purpose .. that purpose can be good or evil .. depending upon how you use them ..
Had I not been looking at a far larger and longterm picture i would not have intervened in the manner in which I did .. two things saved your and everyone elses lives ...
1. had they not been men with a conscience they would not have requested a negotiation .
2. had i not stepped in and negotiated .. less calmer parties would have handled things in a far less satisfactory manner.

Fact is they could have wiped this backwater off the map anytime they wanted including you and your father with it .

I am after the head .. not the body ..

Take it as you will ..

ryujin strolled off leaving sue lin to think over what he had told her .. not his concern what she thought he owed her no explanations .. in time she will understand .. but do any of us have time ..

Sue-Lin was deep in thought. Ryujin's answers were based on the same flawed honor system that allowed one to train children as assassins, one that demanded unfaltering obedience to a master. She had not only rejected that code, she had killed the master, and done the deed with great satisfaction.

Such devotion to a master relied solely on the master's concept of good and evil. The use of other souls to further one's own goals, often based on greed, greed of power, wealth and the 'game', was simply wrong. But once such souls were in thrall, then, they too, needed to be given the chance of a new spin on the wheel of life.

What he did not understand is that all these minions were in fact simply new hydras, waiting for the old ones to be destroyed. Many, many new hydras all waiting in the wings in a never ending story of death, destruction and servitude.

She sat patiently sipping her tea wondering if he would return to the discussion. She had no idea how to get through that thick layer of self confidence because quite frankly, the new world did not really need these people, sadly, many of the obscenely wealthy would no doubt have survived their own plans.

When he did not return, Sue-Lin left and after scouting the town, she returned to the empty bunker. She shook her head in sheer annoyance. The door was wide open, the armory was wide open, how were these people going to survive out there when they couldn't give some measure of thought to the possibility of needing this bunker in the future.

She tidied up a bit, closed the door without locking it and went to find her Father. Right now, she wanted some family time.

It was much later that night when ryujin returned home .. after having buried jackson then finding the bunker empty he thought of the others .. sandras blue eyes .. church .. the woman who had been there marcus jacksons friend .. he hoped they hadnt met with the same end jackson did .. such a waste jackson dead .. and for what ? ..

ryujin scrubbed off the days grime rinsed off settled in the tub for a good long soak .. drying off later and putting on a clean yukatta he went out to the living room .. paused briefly at the small shrine in the corner lit joss sticks and made a prayer for jackson .. then went over and studied the go board for a long time reached to move a piece .. changed his mind not moving the piece he had looked at he then sat back studying the board once more ..