How to relax in uncomfortable and tense situations.

a reply to: CranialSponge

True, the only thing is that an other exam here in Holland cost more than 200 dollars. You can imagine that looking forward to an other exam is not preferable. But you are right, with what you wrote in mind things can not get worse.

For the first year or so, you are driving with your conscious mind on every little thing. Over time, this will fade, and it will be more instinctual and second nature really. Just takes time and practice. No other way to do it.

You will get to that point, but there is no shortcut for it.

There aren't really shortcuts, you just have to put in your time.

ETA: and sometimes, things happen you can't really control so yes, deep breathing!

I failed my first driving test - I was about to leave the DMV parking lot (enter onto a 3 lane one way street) and just as I started to pull out someone switched lanes. The administrator didn't tell me then that he failed me on the spot for pulling out in front of someone... he instead had me complete the entire test and then told me... &%$#

Ah well...

Deep breathing is a must - When I am really stressed or doing something that is highly uncomfortable (aka: Dating), before I even go in to where I need to be, I sit for a couple minutes in the car, close my eyes, and take several long, breaths in, hold it for a couple, and let it all out slowly.

Not only does it wake you up a little (the breaths give you an extra "boost" of oxygen, and have the additional benefit of cooling you down), but it's each breath you take will relax you a little more, and help you to focus on your task.

When practicing lucid dreaming, one technique that always helps me is doing a "walkthough" of what I will be attempting. I snap my fingers, and tell myself "Hey, this is a dream". In your case, go through the list of potential questions early, and at a relaxed pace (rush it, and all the answers might go out the window on test day).

Finally, it may help if you turn the knowledge you know already into something you will remember.

For example, one question that my parents were not able to answer is: "Who has the right-of-way in a roundabout?". They weren't able to tell me, because they have never heard of one. This was an open-ended question. How did I remember the answer? While looking over my notes, I wrote in a scribble referring to the "Circle of Trust", in that those in the circle were the ones that had all the power (it's from the movie Meet the Parents).

And to lend you a bit of encouragement - I'm about half your age, but it took 3 tries to get my license. First time, I bombed on all of the parking, so I never managed to get on the road (darn parallel parking - I've never had to do it yet). Second time I had one point taken off for parking, but scared the poor guy half to death (I made a leap into traffic that I knew I could pull off; the instructor didn't think so). Final time I made it with no points on parking, and minimal points on driving. And, if you want some humor, because I was so used to walking, a full semi passed me on a two-lane road because I was going too slow

-fossilera

a reply to: fossilera

Thanks Fossilera, I have done the breathing exercise and yes, it does work. I am working on my mental point of view and I am sure that the combin\ation of the two will help me the upcoming drivers lesson and final exam.

I see you are from Michigan...I am curious, how much must you people in the US pay on average for one drivers lesson? And while you are at it, for an exam? Here in the Netherlands we pay about 40 euro's for one lesson...which is about 70 dollars.

Thx

Just had a 100 minutes drivers lesson and want you guys to know how it went after applying teh advice given to me. The breathing exercise does feel counter intuitive but after a while I indeed became more relaxed. I even tried to imagine me sitting there in the car and feel comfortable and secure.

I must say that everything worked well and even found moments of funn behind the wheel while driving. After a while the tension returned and did I apply the new aquiered techniques to get rid of it... And again it worked.

So, to everybody with difficulty to keep their cool while doing some thing exciting i would like to say... use the inhale and exhale excercise which our fellow ATS members agreed upon.

Thanks, you guys have been a great help.

a reply to: zatara

It costs about the same - I think I (well, my parents at the time) had to pay about $70 per segment.

Segment 1 was all the lectures and basics - They would have you drive out on the roads at scheduled times, and you were supposed to work on various driving techniques with an instructor present (I never worked on parking, which was why I was so bad with it). This would get me the permit so I could drive wiith another adult present.

Segment 2 was a more advanced form of Segment 1, in that there was no driving involved, but a really large exam. If you passed, you were able to get the standard permit which meant you could drive by yourself.

Final segment was the driving test, which has different costs depending on which company you went with (mine was $50 usd I believe).
-fossilera

a reply to: zatara

I have practiced zazen for several years. All that means is being aware of your breathing and posture. (Zazen technically translates into "sitting meditation.")

There are depths and degrees of practice, formalities and literature dating back centuries, but the core of all Zen practice has its center in this practice of mindfulness of breathing and posture... and that can happen no matter what you are doing.

So, without having any experience with Zen practice, I would simply say: when you feel anxious, your breath will reflect that, so will your posture. Just being aware of it is enough. You will naturally have a better footing once you realize your state honestly, and then realize your real position. You can control your breathing to an extent.

There is so much to say about the importance of listening to yourself... I would recommend looking into Zen and Zazen. Shunryu Suzuki is a great teacher to start with

I would like to thank everybody who gave useful tips on how to relax in uncomfortable and tense situations. All that because today.. 29 october 2014 at 11:40 am I passed my driverslicense exam!!

Yes.. I used some of the techniques provided by several ATS-member who contributed to this thread. Man, I tell you... yesterday evening the worries and with that the nerves started to act up. How much I wished this day the 29th to be over and done. It didn't matter if I failed or passed.. just let the day be over with.

The part of my wish... doesn't matter if I fail or not took a reasonable part of the pressure away.. The breathing technique and the psychological prep did it for me. The first minutes I felt nervous but then it all washed away, I became confident and did ride a relaxed exam... passed it!

Thanks a lot...

EDIT: I forgot to mention that taking a paracetemol is a wonderful drug for such tense situations too...