Respect, Manners, and Courtesy... a modern day translation of "do unto others, as you would have th

Respect, Manners, and Courtesy... a modern day translation of "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." I honestly feel that if everyone added these words to their vocabulary, they would contribute greatly from them in treating others the way they wish to be treated. I picked up on these words from working in the hospitality industry and I feel these words hold more value than any others words that one can attribute to themselves.

You see in the hospitality industry people seem to think that just because they have money they are high class, and they feel they can treat anybody who does not have as much money as them any way they feel like. Sorry to bust up many peoples bubble, but money does not equal class. Higher economical class does not equal classy people. In the 20+ years I've been in this industry the classiest people that I have come across are the ones that uphold these three little words; Respect, Manners, and Courtesy.

These three words have been engraved in my son's head since he has been able to talk, however my son was diagnosed with that BS ADD/ADHD (I am making another thread on this crap as my son has never been placed on drugs and is now MATURING to a very respectful, manner filled, and courteous young boy, so for us... this theory is bunk) when he was younger, so for him these words were hard for him to comprehend at the time because he was just a child. He is now 7 and understands these words to their fullest extent. I have taught him that if he goes around and shows actions of these words to everyone that he will never have a problem with them. If he has done so and they have a problem with him, then the issue lies with them. So if anyone ever asks my son what his daddy's three big words are? He responds with "respect, manners, and courtesy." When asked what does respect mean? He responds with "when someone is nice to you, you be nice to them." When asked what are manners? He responds with "please, thank you, you're welcome, excuse me, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am." When asked what courtesy means to him? He responds with "when someone is sleeping, studying, talking, teaching, listening, fishing, or golfing you need to be quiet." When asked what does respect, manners, and courtesy mean to him? He responds with "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." If asked to break it down for those that do not understand that meaning, he responds with "treat others the way you wish to be treated." Mind you my son is 7, so keeping it simple is key here with him, or any child for that matter. The meanings get deeper as you get older I tell him.

So for me it's not whether one is religious, spiritual, atheist, agnostic, or whatever the person's belief, it is whether or not they wish to simply treat others the way they wish to be treated. I have my rules that I follow, and for myself and my son it matters where they came from because of our beliefs and our life experiences. For the meaning of these words to resonate within, is of course up to that individual's self. Do you have it have it in you to follow three simple words? Have a wonderful and peaceful day.

It seems that you, sir, do epitomize Proverbs 22:6 which states 'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.' (kjv) May the seeds of truth that you sow take root firmly and in fertile soil.

/tips hat

originally posted by: believerofgod
Respect, Manners, and Courtesy... a modern day translation of "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

It's not so 'Modern' it's what that originally meant. Simply because it's source is ancient doesn't mean it doesn't apply in the modern world. We human s have a short memory me thinks. *Myself included.

my son was diagnosed with that BS ADD/ADHD (I am making another thread on this crap as my son has never been placed on drugs and is now MATURING to a very respectful, manner filled, and courteous young boy, so for us... this theory is bunk)

From personal experience...

On average, the majority of Children with 'ADD/ADHD' eventually start to grow out of it when they hit puberty, many others will over come it's affects in their early to mid twenties, some never do. *We all know those types* often, it's because they become aware of the negativity in responses to their 'behavior'

originally posted by: occrest
It seems that you, sir, do epitomize Proverbs 22:6 which states 'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.' (kjv) May the seeds of truth that you sow take root firmly and in fertile soil.

/tips hat

You are correct on that part sir. I have done my fair share of reading what the wisest of men had say and it has resonated deep within my soul. The wise words in which they teach have been my guide with my son in his is upbringing and so far the words I hear and understand have contributed to my over coming of these labels they have placed on our children. Thank you for your kind words. I will have a thread up soon on how those powerful teachings have aided me in busting up this so called theory of ADD/ADHD (the wisest of men called it foolishness).

originally posted by: SLAYER69

originally posted by: believerofgod
Respect, Manners, and Courtesy... a modern day translation of "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

It's not so 'Modern' it's what that originally meant. Simply because it's source is ancient doesn't mean it doesn't apply in the modern world. We human s have a short memory me thinks. *Myself included.

my son was diagnosed with that BS ADD/ADHD (I am making another thread on this crap as my son has never been placed on drugs and is now MATURING to a very respectful, manner filled, and courteous young boy, so for us... this theory is bunk)

From personal experience...

On average, the majority of Children with 'ADD/ADHD' eventually start to grow out of it when they hit puberty, many others will over come it's affects in their early to mid twenties, some never do. *We all know those types* often, it's because they become aware of the negativity in responses to their 'behavior'

The modern day translation comes from those three words attributed to ones self slayer. It is not written like that in the big book. Do you have those words in your vocabulary? More importantly do you follow them in your interactions with everyone you cross paths with?
To follow up on your second reply, yes myself included probably had ADD/ADHD growing up as well. The way discipline was applied to me is not how I apply it to my son, for fear does not define respect. Do you have children slayer? If so please contribute to my future thread on the issue. All I will say right now is that my son was bad, I mean really bad. However the way they are brought up is the sole responsibility of the parents. Children need discipline, not some magic pill to take away their coping skills. I will speak more of this later as I have mentioned.

a reply to: believerofgod

That's absolutely excellent that you're training your child to think that way! That's wonderful advice for someone like me who may have kids in the future. I think that people, especially here on ATS, can benefit from applying this in their life. And I think that a lot of people don't believe in applying lessons like this, just because they are from the Bible. It doesn't matter if they don't agree with the messenger, as long as they see some merit in the message.

The GOLDEN RULE
if only it was Uni-dimensional...

NAMASTE*******

a reply to: believerofgod

If everyone thought like this the world would be a much happier and safer place. I

I try to live my life based in the golden rule, however there are times I find it impossible to abide by. Nice people have a tendency to get walked on or taken advantage of. That's usually where I draw the line.

We, too, are working hard to start to instill manners in our son. He's only 3, but he's catching on quick. He has "thank you" down almost automatically now, and he's getting please pretty good. It fades in and out, so we have to prompt him on and off. We're adding "excuse me" after he burps. We started with recognizing that he burped by getting him to say "I burped!" Then once he got that, we added "Excuse me, I burped." Later, we'll chop the "I burped!"

So right now we have a kid who enthusiastically announces his every burp, and only says "Excuse me" when prompted.

We're also working on respect and starting in on basic courtesy like waiting for mommy and daddy to finish they're discussion before butting in.

So, many little kids who are older don't even do the Thank You.

originally posted by: brazenalderpadrescorpio
a reply to: believerofgod
That's absolutely excellent that you're training your child to think that way! That's wonderful advice for someone like me who may have kids in the future. I think that people, especially here on ATS, can benefit from applying this in their life. And I think that a lot of people don't believe in applying lessons like this, just because they are from the Bible. It doesn't matter if they don't agree with the messenger, as long as they see some merit in the message.

You're pretty spot on as far this community not accepting any kind of constructive criticism if the Bible has any part of it. This should show how the box shuts when someone brings to light a way of making this crazy world we live in a better place. Deny ignorance huh... hahaha. Just because a big wig like slayer comes along and thinks he knows what is written, people that feel his words have more merit than some common sense on how to treat people become null in their minds. Sad, but this is the reality of the world we live in. Continue on with learning from those around yourself, that is how I have grown up and learned. Not necessarily from those that I felt were wiser than me, but being around said individuals for such a long time and learning from their mistakes. That along with learning and understanding what has been written has brought me to the point where I am now. The way people talk about the "sheeple" on here concerning the despotism occurring right before our eyes in our own county, or those that follow silly stories, so to say, from stories written centuries ago, we have the same people in this community that ignore common sense on how to treat our fellow brothers and sisters. Thank you for your kind words and keep an eye out for some of my ,constructive criticism, threads in the future. The way I see it is that any idiot can find the problems within our superbly diverse cultures in this great country, U.S.A, but it takes the more intelligent minds to find and create solutions to all the problems.

originally posted by: Jennyfrenzy
a reply to: believerofgod

If everyone thought like this the world would be a much happier and safer place. I

I try to live my life based in the golden rule, however there are times I find it impossible to abide by. Nice people have a tendency to get walked on or taken advantage of. That's usually where I draw the line.

I feel the same way sometimes. Ignorance is bliss in many a people. Kill em with kindness.

The golden rule sounds so good... as long as you acknowledge that others might not want to be treated in the same way YOU want to be treated... so when you think you are being nice and respectful, they think you are being an inconsiderate jerk.

Because ultimately, being considerate of another entails being alert and aware of THEIR needs, desire, preferences, and and vulnerabilities, and acting in consequence.

THAT is the real manifestation of "class"; for which a highly sensitive nature is necessary, and that makes for effective diplomats and representatives. Being more able to meet people from different cultures or backgrounds, and sense how to act with them specifically.

This was the moral of the Princess and the Pea (doesn't anyone ever wonder why the heck a prince would WANT such a hyper sensitive bride??)
In the working classes, due to the kind of manual work and harsh living conditions, people become less sensitive, and they do not encourage sensitivity in their offspring (which is a detriment to harsh and difficult work conditions, it can be a handicap there).

In those classes, however, instead of developing the sensitivity to read and adapt to different people, they rely upon rules of behavior which remain static and unchanging, to enable peaceful cooperation. It is important, however, then that they stay within the environment they were raised in, if they wish to remain feeling they have a place in the community and are constructive. For it is only with those of the same education that their rules will work efficiently.

originally posted by: ketsuko
We, too, are working hard to start to instill manners in our son. He's only 3, but he's catching on quick. He has "thank you" down almost automatically now, and he's getting please pretty good. It fades in and out, so we have to prompt him on and off. We're adding "excuse me" after he burps. We started with recognizing that he burped by getting him to say "I burped!" Then once he got that, we added "Excuse me, I burped." Later, we'll chop the "I burped!"

So right now we have a kid who enthusiastically announces his every burp, and only says "Excuse me" when prompted.

We're also working on respect and starting in on basic courtesy like waiting for mommy and daddy to finish they're discussion before butting in.

So, many little kids who are older don't even do the Thank You.

That is awesome that you are starting so early, I did the same as soon as my son was able to talk. Having both parents around was where the difficulty came into play. The ideal situation for any child is to have both parents around... once again "ideal" situation. I'm sure you already know that when dealing with children, repetition as well as consistency is key. I'm sure you and your significant other are doing your best in maintaining what is shown to your child. After all, the apple doesn't fall from the tree, right?
As I stated the basic courtesy that my son knows is appropriate for his age, in time he will learn much much more, as that word has so many instances in which to apply to our fellow brothers and sisters.
I am with you totally as far as the way our youths treat everyone now a days, just keep in mind that these attributes are taught, so if they act this way it is usually the parents teaching them this. That or lack of them Physically not being around the child to prevent this behavior. Pretty common from what I have seen as the new wave of technology is sweeping upon the whole world. Einstein was right on what is occurring now.
Wish you well in your future raising of your child.

a reply to: believerofgod

I definitely would like to see more of your threads! And I agree that people are quick to identify the problem without realizing that they are actually part of the problem (and essentially we all are part of the problem, whether we want to accept that fact or not).

I also find it hard to understand people that you can tell claim to be strong readers, and yet have failed to read the most prominent book in human history, which is the Bible. I personally don't agree with everything that is written in the Bible to be honest, but I at least would like to read the whole thing eventually to be able to understand a book that has had a large part in shaping our culture.

Can't help but chuckle:

What a sad state our nation is in if the idea of teaching your children the customary practices of respect and politess of your culture from the start is considered a "new" idea and pioneering approach to child rearing.

It used to go without being said that that was what "child rearing" meant!

My almost -three -year -old grandaughter forgot to say please last weekend and it was a scandal we all talked about for the rest of the day.

a reply to: Bluesma
Is this really how you think? Why would you classify your way of thinking in the glass is half empty category when trying to find solutions to a better way of living amongst your fellow brothers and sisters?
I know what you speak of as I read the same "non-common sense" ways of thinking articles that you speak of... but again, is this really how you think? When my son encounters people like this, and there are many, I simply tell him that not all people think like he does... he confronts everyone with a very respectful way that I have taught him. I know what you mean by them feeling inconsiderate because they just look at him like he, a child, is an idiot for even trying to talk to them. Who is more of an idiot in this case? Is it my son's fault that they had inconsiderate parents that raised them to be and think that way? I have a future thread that will hit on how a parents should be prepared for the raising of such an innocent way of thinking, and mind you again, it is going to be a constructive way of thinking. So as with all my future threads please take them as just that, a new and constructive way of thinking. Please refer to this thread and bring your own solution as to when and where our children need to be taught the proper way of thinking...www.abovetopsecret.com...

a reply to: Bluesma
I feel you on your chuckling way of thinking. What is it exactly that our once great nation has resorted to? For me I can recall the awesome shows that were viewable to me at the time... "The Brady bunch", "Leave it to Beaver", "My three sons", "The Waltons"... these views and ways of thinking are laughed at nowadays because of the ignorance that is put upon those that view these shows as being an ignorant and not looked upon way of raising our children now. Our society has let the ignorant into their way of thinking, and corrupted them into thinking the way that they do. Really? Do I need to go into the shows that have corrupted our children's way of thinking? Or can we simply put on the channel that their way of thinking is derived from? Their ignorant way or thinking that they now have engraved in their way of living has overcome their basic common sense of treating others the way they wish to be treated. The simple fact remains that if their peers are not for it, then neither are they. It is a sad state we live in, however to bring to light and help those that are ignorant of these facts is where we have a role and assist in bringing said state of living to light. Help me help others in viewing what it is I speak of my fellow brother...

a reply to: believerofgod

I have basically no idea what you are talking about, and it seems you had no idea what I was talking about either.

I live in a foriegn country. The rules of politess I learned growing up, I use when I go back home, like I will next week.
But when I am in this country, they are useless. Not only that, they cause me problems. What is polite and a show of respect in my country is the opposite here, and vice versa.
I need to put aside my particular education and pay special attention to my use of empathy and observation to figure out what THEIR way of expressing respect and consideration are, in order for my respect to be recognized by them.

That is what I refered to. Yes, I do think that the term "class" is not the same as having correct manners.

Yes, I do think that teaching your child correct manners and rules of politess for your particular culture, from the moment they can speak and interact with others, is essential and necessary.

Yes, I do think it is sad that this is no longer a common principle in our country, and that your choosing to do it is looked upon as a "innovative" choice, instead of normal.


Yes, that is really what I think.

I suspect you simply misunderstood my post?

a reply to: Bluesma
I did misunderstand your post as you are now bringing to light that you are from a different country... what country are you from friend? I wish to know so that the power of my fingertips can bring to understanding more of what it is you speak of as far as your country is concerned...I apologize for my ignorance in not simply looking at your profile... I am not on here much until as of lately. I see you are from France now. I cannot judge you on what it is I have heard from your country as I do not wish for you to judge me on what it is you have heard about things from my nation. All I can add is now is the time to change was has been and what is to come in dealing with our nations ignorances. We have the power to do that now if we as a human community come together to do so. Once again, help me to help others my brother from another nation...

a reply to: believerofgod

Doesn't it really come down to whether a child is brought up with good manners or not?

I must admit my wife and I brought our family up good manners, to listen to other people and share. However sometimes I wondered at the wisdom when they were growing up and on odd occasions walked over by other kids.
However, now they are adults and have grown in confidence, they are still well mannered and man age to hold their own most of the time.

I have also found on occasions that a smile works wonders for easing a situation but I think these are naturally basic instincts man has. I use to play for a team where two of the members hated each other with venom and yet one a stag do, one fell off a bridge and it was the other who leapt in to the water to help him. So again human nature has terrific depths of comradeship within it. Its just the propaganda we are given daily that rots and prejudices our natures in the main.