Don't Be Fooled, Women Are Just as Sly as Men -- Only in Different Ways

reply to post by ThePublicEnemyNo1


Are you also pretty clumsy? My neighbor is a Sagittarius and she's very clumsy. That's actually a Sag trait.

Should I post my astrology birth chart on this thread ?@@

reply to post by candlestick


Yeah, it's getting way off topic. Sorry about that. I don't even remember how we started talking about signs.

brazenalderpadrescorpio
reply to post by candlestick

 

Yeah, it's getting way off topic. Sorry about that. I don't even remember how we started talking about signs.

Threads pissed off femiNazi are easy to appear off topic,It's their skills.

reply to post by brazenalderpadrescorpio


Only when I'm extremely tired. Otherwise, I'm light on my feet.

candlestick

brazenalderpadrescorpio
reply to post by candlestick

 

Yeah, it's getting way off topic. Sorry about that. I don't even remember how we started talking about signs.

Threads pissed off femiNazi are easy to appear off topic,It's their skills.

That's just funny 😏

reply to post by ThePublicEnemyNo1


That's not better than chance. I guess you can't have every Sag trait. Besides, who'd want to be clumsy just to prove astrology as right.

candlestick
Should I post my astrology birth chart on this thread ?@@

You would do that? How giving of you 😉

That might actually help me understand where you're coming from in regards to the OP.

brazenalderpadrescorpio
reply to post by Bluesma

 

I don't understand your question. Who do you want me to get involved with?

Perhaps it was a bit too vague. Tried to do a shortcut and save length.

My point is- some people have the weird luck of repeatedly getting involved with people who have a specific personality trait.

In such cases, it sometimes helpful to examine what other correlations exist with this trait- it may very well be that there is another side of it that actually attracts you to them- you just didn't see the connection at first.

That can be helpful in figuring out what you want in the future, being more aware of what is attracting and weighing that against the part you don't like, making choices based on that knowledge.


I just made an observation:
My sister is not sly at all. EVER. She is not sneaky, she is not egotistical, she does not manipulate, seek to harm or deceive anyone.
She is self sacrificing and affectionate, and vulnerable.

She is also brain damaged. She has the IQ of a six year old and various difficulties with physical coordination.


So .... with the innocence, maybe one gets less intelligence.....
With the vulnerability, one gets neediness....
With the self sacrificing, one gets heavy affection....

There may be reasons you are turned off by lower intelligence, neediness, heavy affection? That may be why you repeatedly find yourself drawn to women who do not have these traits?

I mean, many men find higher intelligence attractive in a woman, but because they are always two steps behind, assume and grumble to themselves that the woman purposely tried to trick him, when in fact she explained ten times....


Some guys don't like vulnerable women because that neediness requires them to be extra responsible, active, and couragious.
(when all they want is to have a beer and watch the game)

Some guys don't like women who are always all over them giving hugs and kisses and hanging off them every dang moment
(when all they want is to have a beer and watch the game)


Just brainstorming to try to help you figure out why you keep running into such dasterdly women, while some other guys only end up with good ones!

Some people make up for their lack of intelligence ,using dishonesty, then consider themselves ''Clever'' after they cheated someone ,women love doing that to men ,no matter how well meaning or helpful men they are trying to be to them

reply to post by Bluesma


I honestly don't think most people go that far in their thought processes...

We have a tendency to way UNDER think relationships rather than over-think them... sex also has a tendency to blind us to certain evident truths and hormones get wild and you know the rest.

This is why to do it right I had to make a list. EXACTLY what I wanted, what was important to me, what I needed (and we all do need some things) it took me being honest with me, and then waiting to have sex until I found and married that exact right person who fulfilled each and every single aspect of the person on my list.

You have to realize what is truly important verses childish and you have to know yourself - and really be honest with yourself in order to do this... but it DOES work. Granted, then dating is much more reminiscent of a job interview.... but lets be honest, in reality it is. "You have an opening for husband/wife/significant other... who is applying for the job?"

No you don't sit and say "so... you want to apply do you? mwahahah"... but you DO sneak in key questions during conversation until you are satisfied you are getting truthful answers, and everything you need to know has been answered.

I found the perfect man for me this way, and have never been happier.

At least 80% of people don't do this.. they find someone they are physically attracted to and think everything else will just fall into place because they are, after all, attracted... lol... and some of the people who start out with this intention - things on their list just go flying to the wayside...usually when sex begins.

Thinking back over my life, I cannot understand those ladies who put up with being battered, and complained to me about it, I would say to leave them, the answer was always, 'but I love him' so women are not stupid? (well, okay, some women are).

OpinionatedB
reply to post by Bluesma

 

I honestly don't think most people go that far in their thought processes...

I agree. (and this goes for many of the choices and acts we carry out through the day.

But when I keep coming up with a problem over and over, I often decide it is time to stop and analyze, do an inventory.

In terms of choosing partners, I think even deciding what you really want or not is not as easy as that- like I said, we are not always aware of what the desired trait will necessarily come with. Every trait has a negative form as well. Like being protective comes with being jealous, being independant means being self centered, being easy going means not taking responsibilities seriously, or taking responsibility seriously can mean not being much fun... etc.

Someone once told me that her mother used to say that the exact quality that most attracted you to your mate at the beginning will be the exact thing that drives you insane later. I have found that to be pretty accurate.

reply to post by Bluesma


That is where being honest with yourself comes into play, and failing a time, or two, can help actually.

I need a strong man - not just want, but need... and he needs to be stronger than me... period. I knew this - but didn't know why I came up with a control freak who beat up women.

I had to learn how to define what "strength" really is, and learned how a weak man disguises their weaknesses in order to be able to recognize true strength when I saw it.

The same can be said and done with a man who wants an intelligent woman. There is intelligence, and then there is ignorance that disguises itself, which often has the appearance on the surface of intelligence. A man who desires intelligence should then learn to recognize signs of true intelligence verses ignorance masquerading as intelligence.

To use your example, when someone is independent, it just means they don't need people to survive- when an independent person is with you, its because they like you and want to be with you.... this trait doesn't mean the independent person is self centered - nor mean they want to be left alone all the time... it just means they can make it just fine on their own.

On the other hand, someone who is dependent, and tries to hide that quality, will often times mask their dependance in something that looks like independence... and that is where self centered-ness enters into the picture. The truly independent personality who is naturally independent, is rarely self centered in reality.

Many may know what they want, but don't actually know how to recognize it in truth. It's when you learn to recognize the qualities in truth that you win. All the way around.

People should know, if they don't subconsciously already, that intelligence has no need of beating anyone over the head with "intelligence", strength has no need of beating you up with "strength", independence has no need to "think only of self". Only ignorance, weakness and dependance does this and that is why, in the middle of the relationships, people realize they never really knew that person after all. They simply hadn't known what opposite qualities looked like when they were masquerading until they got close enough.

Its everyone's job to learn to recognize true qualities from a distance... if they prefer happiness.

OpinionatedB

To use your example, when someone is independent, it just means they don't need people to survive- when an independent person is with you, its because they like you and want to be with you.... this trait doesn't mean the independent person is self centered - nor mean they want to be left alone all the time... it just means they can make it just fine on their own.

On the other hand, someone who is dependent, and tries to hide that quality, will often times mask their dependance in something that looks like independence... and that is where self centered-ness enters into the picture. The truly independent personality who is naturally independent, is rarely self centered in reality.

I disagree on this point. I think whether a person wants to call another "self centered" or "independant" is simply a matter of whether or not the behavior is in line with their own intents. It is all relative.

There are acts that an independant person might do, that one who isn't may not understand, or may not find it something they like, and suddenly they will change the wording.

Like I enjoy working out alone- because I like to be very focused on my movements, my breathing, my sensations, heart rate and blood pressure. If I chat with someone else at the same time, I cannot do all that and I find my work out is less effective overall.
Other women who have seen me at the gym have called me self centered because I do not socialize at those times. They say it in a way that suggests I don't care anyone else, am not interested in anyone else. It is derogatory.

I guess I can say is that I am self centered at those times, as I am focused within myself, and independent (as opposed to those who say they need another person to encourage, motivate, and guide them in order to exercise).

That same self discipline is appreciated and called independence when there is a job to do in my workplace that no one else wants to do and they are very glad I will take it on and do it all by myself.

It only depends upon whether the persons "independence" or "self centeredness" serves your present goals or not.
I kind of like to find words which remove that subjective positive-negative charge, when I can- like here, we could call this trait "autonomous" maybe? It is neither a good or bad thing, it can be either, depending.

The trick being, find a person who has the same goals as yourself, so that most of the time, their traits will be a positive thing in your view.

Another thing I have experienced? A change in my own goals suddenly makes a partner no longer a good match and their traits that were once working with mine suddenly become an obstacle instead. Then I change my way of seeing (and describing) their behavioral trait.

But we don't need to agree on this point, and it is always good to have differing opinions up here.
I also do not want to get too tied up in semantics- but I personally feel that it matters.

reply to post by Bluesma


We are defining independence differently, as well as self centered. Someone who is independent is not dependent upon others for their livelihood or subsistence and they are not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc. In short, they think for themselves and don't need to rely on others for support.

Someone who prefers some alone time while working out is neither independent nor self centered as the phrase self centered means that someone is limited to or only caring about himself or herself and his or her own needs.

Everyone has some time's they might like to be alone for a while. Some prefer alone time for thinking, others like yourself prefer it while working out.. everyone is different mind you, but I have yet to be friends with a person who did not occasionally need some time to themselves.

You can desire to work out alone while at the same time being very dependent on others... especially if you are doing that work out because others have convinced you that you are "fat", or because it's the only time you have where you are not under the control of someone else - possibly a someone who supports you financially. Many reasons why someone would want to be alone while working out and still not be considered independent.

PS. The ones who are self centered are the ones who criticize you for needing some times alone (rather than spending it with them)... THAT behavior is self centered.

I get where you're coming from. Thing is, both genders lie and exploit others.

The more educated parents are, the less likely they're to have lots of children. This interests me. Do they have less children because the women is empowered and now wants to work or express herself outside the role of a mother? Do they have less children because the man now knows he was wrong about his wife and shouldn't be sexist and knows to let her be herself? Is it both? Is it neither? Maybe as people gain education, they simply become more able to work, and thus have less time for popping out babies. Either way, something changes as people gain education and this makes them have less children. This coincides somewhat with the feminism movement, maybe. I just wonder how.

Did you know there're problems women can experience if they do not have children? I've seen examples of this, just can't recall exact details. I'm not sure if it was cancer or discomfort or mental/physical illness that resulted.

I think there're non-physical differences between the genders. Sometimes I think I cannot mention this opinion around women or men who do not see any differences outside physical ones. Does this make me sexist? Maybe. It seems I can't hold this opinion because it conflicts with the scientific literature, as they say.

What about women serving in the military? Should they be graded on a curve when doing physical work? I don't honestly think it should be that way. Rather, women should fill roles where the physical demands fit their physical capabilities. Will they lower the physical demands so both men and women can both pass? With many men being too overweight, they'll be pressured to lower them. Obviously, technology is a factor and might enable women to work alongside men.

I do not think women are better than men or vice versa. I think nature created us as codependents. We work together, not against each other. Both sexes have prejudices against each other and time will cut away the loose ends.

I also think men aren't just dumb muscle, neither are women just pretty brains. Women are known to do many things physically better than a man in terms of dexterity. I've also read they're in fact better drivers than men too.

This says women are better drivers:
www.mid-day.com - It's official: Women better at parking than men...

This says men are better at parking in some cases:
www.howwedrive.com - On Gender and Parking...

A general review:
www.slate.com - Are Women Really Bad Drivers?...

There's a lot of stuff out there comparing men and women in driving. It's tough to say who's better definitively. If anything, it shows how the differences are hard to nail down and the stigma from stereotyping can be self-fulfilling too.

reply to post by jonnywhite


That's strange, in another thread someone was correlating economic factors into reasons for higher or lower birth rates as well. I will just quote myself from that post:

So I will say, you are incorrect that economics has anything to do with fertility rates.

Here are two great papers to read concerning this. It is actually unobstructed and easy access to contraception as well as true information concerning contraception and its side effects which causes a decline in fertility rates in even the most impoverished of areas.

The Impact of Freedom on Fertility Transition: Revisiting the Theoretical Framework

The impact of freedom on fertility decline

Humans are very sexual, nothing stops them from having sex many more times than necessary for simple childbearing... its a matter of women having family planning choices on the table that will cause a decline reproductive rates. Economics has little to do with it.

Good papers above if you are interested!

www.abovetopsecret.com...

reply to post by Bluesma


I'm going to be brutally honest about myself. I haven't been in a relationship in a long time. These women are just women that I've observed around me. For example, wives of friends, my mother, my uncle's wife, etcetera. I observe an overt deviousness in women way more often than I do in men. With men, it's almost like a clumsy, thoughtless, "did I do that" type of deviousness. And I just want to note that I feel that I have to be very careful not to make these statements sound like personal attacks. The high intelligence can be something good as well as something bad. And I also agree with someone who mentioned that years of being discriminated against may have brought out this personality trait in women.

OP, did you ever stop and think that all people are unique and have different personalities? Men and Women. Some people of both sexes will fall into your category, some won't.