In Marriage do you have a Right to Sex?

I found it once.
I didn't care for the sex. I got more out of the hours of conversation and knowing it was true. I could not wait to hear what was in the thought process. It would take four hours sometimes to watch a science show that was only an hour. We kept pausing the TV and have a discussion/debate on the subjects.
It was all about intellects. This made us trusting and attracted to each other.
Sadly she is no longer here. And I can't let it go.

InTheLight

Most women don't respond well to 'spread em' requests.

And most men don't respond well with "Just go play with yourself" statements.....

Both cases are abusive.

reply to post by Bigburgh


A true meeting of the minds!!!!

How rare and wonderful that is! You are one lucky lucky person to have been allowed that!

ArtemisE
reply to post by CynConcepts

 

So basically the consensus is that if your partner doesn't enjoy sex with you and you still wanna have sex you should leave her/him.

edit on 28-3-2014 by ArtemisE because: (no reason given)

edit on 28-3-2014 by ArtemisE because: (no reason given)

If the only reason you are with someone is to ensure you have regular sex...you obviously have no idea what marriage let alone, relationships, are all about. So, yes, such an individual should set their partner free so their partner can find someone who really wants to share life with them.

Montana

InTheLight

Most women don't respond well to 'spread em' requests.

And most men don't respond well with "Just go play with yourself" statements.....

Both cases are abusive.

Ooof. You do have a point.

Montana
reply to post by Bigburgh

 

A true meeting of the minds!!!!

How rare and wonderful that is! You are one lucky lucky person to have been allowed that!

Thanks it was that once in a lifetime feeling. I do cherish it immensely.

CynConcepts

If the only reason you are with someone is to ensure you have regular sex...you obviously have no idea what marriage let alone, relationships, are all about. So, yes, such an individual should set their partner free so their partner can find someone who really wants to share life with them.

And if you are in a committed relationship in which you are honestly trying to satisfy your partner in every way you are able, but that partner still refuses to put the same effort into satisfying you, then by all means free yourself so you can find someone who is as willing as you to make the effort...

She was so smart. I had to carry a dictionary religiously for the first 3 years. She would laugh so hard.

I'm really sorry for your predicament. Hopefully a truce can be made. And what transpires is best for the both of you.

reply to post by CynConcepts
[mor

I think most would agree that a relationship isn't all sex. But few would agree that sex isn't involved in a relationship.

reply to post by Montana


I think your senerio happens far more.

reply to post by ArtemisE


Good points. You're doing alright here.
See you joined on my 40'th birthday..welcome aboard.

reply to post by Indepedent


You are a very sick individual. Please get some psychiatric treatment as soon as possible.

reply to post by Indepedent


A very sick individual.

*snip8



Disgraceful post.
Well perhaps if you got convicted of rape, maybe the other inmates may feel the same way about you, they may prefer a squirmer
Karma is a bitch

Lol, I think this is probably the most complex issue ATS will ever see, More so than aliens are goverment conspiracy.


Relations between the sexes are as complex as international diplomacy, and require as much patients and compromise.

One of those things, might just be having sex when you don't feel like it.

Marriage is about compromise and working toward the mutual benefit with each other, if you are at the point where you are even talking about Sex as a right?

Its time to bail, or seek serious counseling,

Everyone gets tired, everyone's sex drive may not line up, and there are times when for the sake of your spouse that doesn't matter.

If two people don't love enough to consider one anothers feeling anymore, and unwilling to compromise on issues like this theres no point in staying togather.

People who are busy and in long term relationships even go so far to "Calender" Sex, they have days set up so as they DON"T forget to reconnect intimately as a couple.

They aren't relying on Instant emotional desire for sex, they as couples at a time when they don't want sex, have preset appoints at times when they might not feel like it anyway.

WHY? For the sake of a happy union and ensuring they have connection.

If they don't want that, theres a far larger problem.

reply to post by ArtemisE


Woman in France a few years back sued her husband for 10k Euro for exactly what you're asking. She won the case.

reply to post by benrl


I agree in general, but sometimes leaving isn't the answer either. In my case, before the problem came to be, there were children to provide and care for. It would take a lot more than sexual frustration to get me to abandon them, so I have just put up with it. However when the children are all raised and on their own, well we will just have to see.

reply to post by ArtemisE

I don't completely disagree...though I was married to a man who due to disability had great difficulty with sex. We had a wonderfully loving relationship without sex. True, I did pleasure myself at times, but I was with him for 5 years until he passed on. Sex was not needed for our relationship to be a success. Of course, we had honest expectations and shared them.

In your example...it seems more likely that communication of expectations were assumed. Perhaps, before a couple tosses their relationship out due to sexual inconsistencies...they should ask themselves what sex is? It may be crazy sounding, but I have never met two people who honestly perceive it the same way. There is always their individual perceptions applied to it, and believe me...perceptions change over time. Happens here on ATS all the time. If your partner seems to have changed, find out why. Your partner and you may re-ignite your desires by perceiving sex in a new way together.

Montana
reply to post by benrl

 

I agree in general, but sometimes leaving isn't the answer either. In my case, before the problem came to be, there were children to provide and care for. It would take a lot more than sexual frustration to get me to abandon them, so I have just put up with it. However when the children are all raised and on their own, well we will just have to see.

Than clearly there are more problems than just Sex.


Why does divorce even equate to "abandoning your kids"

Just curious, I understand the "Problems" that can arise from divorce, as I said, once your at that point there are far more problems which sounds like its the case with you?

Ill say this, sometimes the kids are better off if parents that don't love each other enough to maintain healthy relationships with each other just separate.

Many times, parents hide their fear of change and the unknown by using their kids as an excuse for why they are still in a bad relationship.

ETA: its not a good long term solution, it leads to bitterness, from all parties, children to parents.