I hate my Mother and Father.

Latincell
Someday they will need someone to take care of then, when older, be kind with them, and try to help them as much as you can. Then they will realize that you are good after all the pain you lived. Show them that you are different , not like them, and there's no hard feelings. Then you will see, ...

I disagree with this a bit... be kind and help them find a way to be taken care of, even if they have to enter "the system"... but you do not owe them to take care of them, as they did not take care of you!

My mother did that to me just 7 months ago! Long story short, she was abusive and neglectful and disowned me and kicked me out when I was 16, kept receiving and spending child support payments, did nothing to help me.

But, now that I'm 45, she was jobless and homeless, and needed a place to stay which I let her a few months. And I couldn't wait for it to be over (as bad as that sounds). Lazy as hell, can't even make a meal at the end of the day or run a vacuum.
She made an evil laugh when I said my daughter needed her room when she home from college one weekend, and "mother" made an "EVIL LAUGH" and said make her sleep on the couch... EVIL LAUGH... I'll never forget it! Made my skin crawl and said I would not be doing that and gave my daughter my own bed. NOT doing that crap to my kids because of HER!

I helped her find low income senior housing and state benefits, but I DO NOT OWE HER. She was not a mother. She just wants to USE me now that she has nowhere else to turn. Her unemployment will eventually run out, and her retirement benefits are pitiful due to not working half her adult life... and she won't be able to make her car payments. She has made comments that my brother needs to get "this job or that job" to "help" her out.

I forgive her, but I will not take care of her now, when she would not take care of me so I could have a decent start to my life that she gave to me. I struggle every day to make ends meet and take care of my kids. She was selfish and self-centered and now "karma" will be coming back to get get her I'm afraid.

reply to post by Thurisaz


Science is starting to prove that an afterlife exists [search ATS and or Google for such articles ok] and so death is no escape for anybody anymore ... HUNT THEM IN THE AFTERLIFE and make their entire future existence unbearable.

The FACT is they murdered you by giving you a mortal life!

Punish them by designing and enforcing a HELL upon them!

They had this lifetime to be perfect parents and they have failed abysmally and so ignore mercy as you dispense justice!

If you think it is only Gods place to judge anyone ... well Dante's "I think, therefor I AM!" proves you ARE God!

Be RUTHLESS & Wrathful since you can't forgive, as that is God like!

reply to post by Thurisaz


If you want truth about Christianity the worst place to go is a Church. How anyone can think like that is beyond me. It doesn't matter what marks or deficiencies you or anyone else has. What does matter is how you care about people, respect people and because of this your parents will never be as perfect as you are. They will never change but at the same time, instead of hating them just forget about them and move on with your life. Hearing what they done to you is not the essence of Christianity and never will be and I wish you the very best in the future..

reply to post by tinker9917


thanks for sharing. I understand it... I really do. In 2004, My Mother came to stay at my home for a visit. I always read books and talked to my Son before bed...and because she was visiting...she was jealous of the time I spent with him...cos I said, sometimes it takes him about an hour to fall asleep. She was telling me that I should leave him to cry himself to sleep! I was glad she left the next morning. How dare the biarch expect me to drop everything for her!

I have severed all ties with her since 2012. My Step Father died and I took her to Adelaide for a weekend to cheer her up cos I felt sorry for her. Well, she was a right difficult high maintenance so and so and whilst we were walking down the street, her personality changed and she started verbally abusing me so much, just like she used to do to me when I was a kid... She is a nasty person and I wouldn't even share the verbatim on here because it is so bad.

Now that I have severed ties with her, for about a year, she was being this emotional manipulative so and so... even had other members of my family getting involved, when it was none of their business. One of my Aunties told her to go away because she knows how nasty my Mother was and can be.

I don't care at all now. She is 67 years old now and I do not care at all if she lives or dies. That sounds harsh but not after the way she treated me...

Strange isn't it, the guilt others put on "oh you should care about your Parents" etc. Well, imo, only if they deserve it.
Kudos to you for getting your own Mother out of your house and taking your life back.

this prompted me to check some info.

My Dad left us in 1972. I was born in 1968. We grew up feeling really guilty for being the burden for being born and then I just wondered when the contraceptive pill came out:
short history of the pill

Well from the above article...the pill/contraceptives were available at that time...so if she didn't want kids. She should have taken contraceptives!

But it seems to me that when she was married to my Dad and happy la la, she wanted to have kids and had us... and then later on regretted or resented her own bloody choices when the choice didn't suit her or when she wanted something else.

terrible.

Thurisaz
reply to post by Restricted

 

wow.. could you post up the verse or where it actually says that a mark (heterochima) in an eye means it is something good...
cos that is the first I have ever heard it was a good thing to have.

I went to church when I was a child and I was told that it was a 'mark of sin'...

Needless to say, I don't have anything to do with religion either.

cheers

Hating your parents means you're a good Christian. That's what you're supposed to do according to the Bible.

reply to post by Thurisaz


I really feel for you.

My parents are literally my best friends.
I have so much love and respect for them.

I know neither of them are perfect, far from it, but who is?
But they have stuck by me through thick and thin.
They never spoiled me, not that they had the money to do so. There was plenty of love there which was balanced by discipline when required.
Later in life I brought a fair bit of trouble to their door but they never turned their back on me.
I chose a completely different life to that of my elder brother and one they could never really understand having only been vaguely aware of the circles I tended to be a part of.
I still see them every week, frequently go for a few pints with my Dad and have a great relationship with both of them.

I know I'm fortunate; many of my friends had awful childhoods and are estranged from or distant to their parents - some never even knew them.
I've heard some horrendous stories.

I really can't understand how someone can treat their own flesh and blood in such ways.

By the sounds of things you suffered horrifically from those who should have loved, nurtured and cared for you.
Only you know what is the right thing for you to do - I don't think anyone can fault you for cutting yourself off from them.

I'm absolutely certain you'll go on to be a great parent which will be the greatest response to their mistreatment of you.

Hi Thurisaz.

I don't really want to comment, I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it but anyway I have an article here that I think you will find invaluable.

It is an article written by Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes for survivors of trauma. It is one of the best things out there for PTS.

www.awaken.com...

Best wishes in your recovery. I think you are getting there wonderfully.

Latincell
Someday they will need someone to take care of then, when older, be kind with them, and try to help them as much as you can. Then they will realize that you are good after all the pain you lived. Show them that you are different , not like them, and there's no hard feelings. Then you will see, ...

Or instead of going with that ^ you could push them in their wheelchairs down a hill for everything they have put you through. Nah even that is getting off way to easy. Im sorry to hear what you have been through and ill bet your eyes are beautiful i have funky eyes that change from blue too green alot but i always thought Heterochromia looked really attractive, not weird at all, you should be soo proud of yourself for cutting ties it takes someone very strong to do that and by doing that you won! Your free now, its your life and its going to be great without all that weighing you down.

a reply to: Thurisaz

Your pain and suffering has obviously been prolonged and intense. Condolences.

The jerk parents probably had jerk parents who gave them serious ATTACHMENT DISORDER, too.

Who knows how many generations it goes back to.

Congrats for detaching from all that poison and abuse.

Now the task is to let go the hate and unforgiveness.

FOR YOUR SAKE.

They are poison and can even result in cancer as well as serious arthritis etc.

Forgiveness does not mean the perpetrator is off the hook. It mostly means you resign as prosecuting atny, judge, jury and executioner. God will handle those tasks far better than you could, anyway.

Forgiveness means you pull the dagger out of your own back; out of your own heart and lay it aside as unfitting for your healthier life.

If you find it difficult--say something like:

I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE, REGARDLESS. I release them to God's justice [or karma or however you care to put it] and let go of my need to punish them or take revenge.

Say it however often the memory of their horror comes to mind. Ask God or however you care to--to help make it real to you at a heart, emotional level.

Whether it takes weeks or months or years, to fully feel it--IT IS WORTH DOING--FOR YOUR OWN PEACE AND HEALTH.

May you make progress in your healing . . . beyond the progress you've already made.

One Canadian friend I know who was locked in a tiny closet repeatedly as a 3-8 year old or so . . . developed Disassociative Disorder . . . may have the label wrong--detached herself from the pain and from her own basic identity . . . developing other personalities to escape into.

She's still--at 60+ working hard--to overcome the residue of all that.

Anyway--the following may be of value to you.


BO X ATS ATTACHMENT DISORDER THREAD LINK:

www.abovetopsecret.com...


See also:

ATTACHMENT DISORDER LINKS


REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER FOR EDUCATORS:

artweidman.wordpress.com...

WIKIPEDIA:
en.wikipedia.org...

DIRECTORY OF SITES:

www.radkid.org...



ATTACHMENT DISORDER IN ADULTS:

www.buzzle.com...


BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT TRAINING FOR THE TREATMENT OF REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov...

BEST AUTHOR ON TOPIC:

BONDING AND ATTACHMENT IN MALTREATED CHILDREN: HOW CAN YOU HELP: DR BRUCE PERRY

teacher.scholastic.com...



BO X ATS ATTACHMENT DISORDER THREAD LINK:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

DR BRUCE PERRY’S CHILD TRAUMA ACADEMY:

childtrauma.org...

IMPACT OF ABUSE AND NEGLECT ON THE DEVELOPING BRAIN:

www.attachmentdisorder.net...

ATTACHMENT: THE FIRST CORE STRENGTH:

teacher.scholastic.com...


BONDING AND ATTACHMENT IN MALTREATED CHILDREN: BRUCE PERRY

childrenneedfamilies.blogspot.com...

a reply to: BO XIAN

THANKS! so much for the info ... I am checking it out now. Sorry for the delay in replying but the last 4 months have been hell. DNA proves that they are not even my Parents.

Can't say any more at the moment.

a reply to: Thurisaz

I am so sorry for what you have been through. I spent many years angry with a parent who has Schizophrenia, made my childhood a hell. I pray that you find the strength to forgive them, as I did.

You hate your mother and father. I hate everybody.

a reply to: Thurisaz
I had no idea that people cared about having an iris discoloration. In fact looked up Aniridia and it does sound serious leading to blindness so your sister should really take care of herself, but having a Heterochima is actually pretty normal, in fact some of them look pretty dam cool, there are a bunch of really cool pictures online of people having different color eyes or really colorful patterns in there eyes.

I really dont know what kind of idiots your parents were or what kind of church you would go to were having heterochima would be considered a sin, but it sounds pretty nutty even as far as the nutty things go. And really if half of what you said about your parents are true, I dont grudge you your hate of them. In fact if it was me I would have done much worse to them. I am not generally good with forgiveness, not because I cant, but because unless you show them the error of there ways and sometimes forcefully, no matter who or what they are these sort of things do tend to go on and on like a record put on repeat. And it idioticity spreads unless squashed and preferably there and then.

Lets just say I do not agree with Jesus about turning the other cheek. I personally follow baseball rules on that part, that is, three strikes and your out. I may or may not turn the other cheek the first two times, but come the third time I just may rip off there arm and beat them over the head with it.

But anyways you seem to have had a bizarre childhood and family. And like others have said, best course of action is to leave it all in the dust and in the past and move on, and that alone would be much easier said then done no doubt.

a reply to: Thurisaz

Is this supposed to be a rant? Anyway, are you referring to heterochromia? Medical student here, cannot help but wonder.

Sad story.... but you have to get out of it and divert your mind...!!! stay blessed...!!!