A second date would be nice.

dave_welch

I just think that clothes are a rather superficial thing to judge someone by.

I could understand if I had 37 facial piercings and dressed like I was homeless or had purple hair or somthing. But I don't. I dress how I like to dress, but there's nothing unusual or out of the ordinary about it.

Clothes are important to a degree .... in so much as one wouldn't go to the

cinema in full evening dress, or to a 5* restaurant in trainers and vest and joggers.

Appropriate clothing for any occasion is not rather superficial, but I don't think

that was what others were referring to.


Hey! people with 37 facial piercings and dressed as homeless with purple hair do

get dates .... only it is with others of similar ilk


My take on what people seem to be saying is 'maybe you're punching above your

weight?'

No one asked so I will do it

How did you get to the first date?

There is a big difference between dates that are scheduled "just to date" or dates that are schedules "to finally have sometime together" if you get what I mean.

sn0rch

violet
If all else fails. Try an older woman, we're desperate!

Whoah. that's a turn off, If you're desperate, who wants that!!!111

Hmm, I dunno..

Where is my vodka.. she knows how to make my liver throb with desire...

*allo baby, fancy a dance... yes on the floor sideways.. oooh youre saucy..*

I swear nobody has a sense of humour on this website. Or my timing is off.

Thurisaz
reply to post by violet

 

omg I hope your joking! You must be joking?

I might be older but I can assure you I am not desperate nor fed up. I am interested in other things rather than sex or a relationship.

Yes I was JOKING!
I joke a lot. I'm gonna have to get a sig that says not to take everything I say so seriously

dave_welch
I wish there was another way to find someone, other than dating. For me, it takes two or three dates to tell if I want to be with this person. With the women I date that is not the case. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but it must be something.

Let me walk you through a typical date for me.

1. Meet woman at prearranged location for dinner.

2. Open door, pull out chair, allow her to order first, ect... you know, be a gentleman.

3. Try to have an interesting conversation. Learn about eachother, ect.

4. Ask to see eachother again, get told "Only as friends, I don't see us dating."

Okay, that was a very basic runthrough, I know. Nearly every time it seems like we've both had a good time and that there will be other dates but there are not. Every time I'm told that "We should just be friends." I'm sorry, what did I miss?

You are putting to much pressure on her and yourself. First you should be picking her up unless she issues some sort of objection to that. Number 2 works stick with it. We get to number 3 and this is where you are putting the pressure on. Don't talk about anything to serious right away and don't give up so much so fast.

The best thing I can tell you to do here is brush up on pop culture. The other thing to do I am guessing you are dating women your own age here but by all means talk about stupid things you did and liked as a child. My husband and I are 5 years apart and one of the things we connected over was our love of Star Wars as children. Those stupid things you don't really think of now can draw a strong connection. Be a bit mysterious don't be afraid of being a bit offensive.

Ok now we get to your final point. Are you asking them for the second date before the first one ends? If so you need to stop that give the girl a couple days to think about and miss you then call and ask for another.This isn't exactly reinventing the wheel here. And fine even if it is just as "friends" then plan it as a thing you would do with your "friends". You can never have too many friends especially female friends because matchmaking is kind of something we just occasionally do.

dave_welch
reply to post by InvisibleOwl

 

Please don't think I'm dismissing what you said, but...

Your GF probably had romantic feelings for you while you were still friends. Believe me, there is nothing fictional about the "friend zone" as ridiculous as it sounds.

Once a woman starts seeing you as "just a friend" you may as well be her brother. I've been down that road way too many times with the same results every time.

This is not entirely accurate. When you first start "dating" you have about three or four date before you get permanently exiled to the "friends zone". Until then there is a little bit of a window unless you really screw it up out of the gate. And yes your clothes do matter and no it isn't superficial. You don't have to have top shelf anything, but you do need to at least look like you are trying to impress her a little bit. I so hate your generation sometimes, i really do. If you wear a tshirt and blue jeans to a job interview they are not going to hire you even if that is what you will be wearing everyday. So why on God's green Earth would you think that it does not matter on your first date?



Things that should be in a man's closet:
Clean blue jeans (like almost new) you will be able to get some mileage just with those.
Couple pair of khakis at least one pair should be black.
An assortment of button down shirts one of which is to be crisp white the rest find the boldest colors that suit you.
A couple of casual shirts and no tshirts do not count.
A decent pair of causal dress shoes.

You will not have to always wear them but that gives you what you need for an assortment of first dates and various social events. And as I said earlier none of it has to be expensive at all.

Read Ovid's Art of Love.

www.johnwebster.galeon.com...

Good luck.