Teen Sues Parents for Cash, College Tuition. Does She Have a Case?

shine.yahoo.com...

A New Jersey teenager claiming that her mother and father tossed her out of their home and cut her off financially is suing them for immediate support, current private-school fees and future college tuition. The parents, meanwhile, say that daughter Rachel Canning, 18, moved out voluntarily after refusing to abide by their rules.

“We love our child and miss her. This is terrible. It’s killing me and my wife,” Rachel's father, Sean Canning, a town administrator and retired police officer, tells the Daily Record. “We have a child we want home. We’re not Draconian and now we’re getting hauled into court. She’s demanding that we pay her bills but she doesn’t want to live at home, and she’s saying, ‘I don’t want to live under your rules.’”
The rules, he notes, include reconsidering her relationship with a boyfriend who may be a bad influence, being respectful, and abiding by her curfew. He and his wife, Elizabeth, who live in suburban Lincoln Park, about 25 miles outside of New York City, have kept their daughter’s car because they paid for it, says Canning, and he admits that they did stop paying Rachel's tuition at the private Morris Catholic High School. A hearing is scheduled to take place on Tuesday in the Morris County Superior Court.

Well, humm...

This story reminds me of a friend that said her daughter got angry at her because she wouldn't buy a cell phone for her 14 year old younger brother.
My friend is a single mother, barely making ends meet, but yet her daughter expected her to put a cell phone in the hands of her immature brother to run up a gigantic bill for her to pay; then her daughter accused her of being a bad mother because she said no.
My friend was so distressed over this!!
She asked me if I thought she was being a bad mother? I said... well, I won't repeat what I said. LOL

I guess the times have changed. Today's "brats" want everything handed to them free of charge, and make that on a silver platter, while you're at it!

I don't know how you all were raised, but when I was growing up, which I admit has been a few years back, my siblings and I had to work for what we received! Not to say we worked at an outside job, but we had chores at home to attend to, then we received our reward... a roof over our head, clothes on our back, and food in our mouth.

And every now and then, a trip to the store for candy or ice cream.

I started working in a local restaurant when I was 14 after school for any money I put in my pocket, and I'm glad I did. It taught me at an early age how to handle money, and responsibility.

When we turned eighteen we were considered to be adults, which means "of legal age"... legally of age to go out and get a job!!
Any of us that attended college paid the expenses ourselves with student loans, grants, etc. It taught us the value of a dollar, and made us work harder to pass in our classes.

What do you all think about this article?

I would say, if the girl wants the money from her parents, she needs to live at home and obey their rules, to an extent, at least. Not sure they should tell her who she can date though; she is of legal age to make her own mistakes.
If she wants to be out on her own, then by god, let her be out on her own, and pay her own bills!!

Reeks of "spoiled little rich girl" to me!!

Screw her.

I would rather see the courts fine her for the frivolity in her legal proceedings.

I don't think that this should really be up to public debate as we don't honestly know what the circumstances were like in the home. Her accusation is that her parents are controlling and well, considering that they were the ones that placed her into a private high school than neglected to pay it as a method of getting their way, I'd say she probably is right. What kind of parent basically threatens their own child's future over a disagreement about who they are dating? An outstanding balance at her high school could equate to her high school diploma getting withheld. About $6000 of that $12k lawsuit is for that outstanding balance.

As far as the college fund is concerned, it's likely in her name but in trust through her parents. It's existence and her parents' probable affluence means that they absolutely hold the reigns on her ability to go to college. She'll be denied financial aid if she tries based on her parental income and the presence of that college fund.

I hope, for her sake, she wins the amount outstanding for the high school tuition and gets her college fund released so she can head to college this fall. She shouldn't have the rest of her life penalized because of a boy--not when teenaged girls are known to be fickle.

WhiteAlice
I don't think that this should really be up to public debate as we don't honestly know what the circumstances were like in the home. Her accusation is that her parents are controlling and well, considering that they were the ones that placed her into a private high school than neglected to pay it as a method of getting their way, I'd say she probably is right. What kind of parent basically threatens their own child's future over a disagreement about who they are dating? An outstanding balance at her high school could equate to her high school diploma getting withheld. About $6000 of that $12k lawsuit is for that outstanding balance.

As far as the college fund is concerned, it's likely in her name but in trust through her parents. It's existence and her parents' probable affluence means that they absolutely hold the reigns on her ability to go to college. She'll be denied financial aid if she tries based on her parental income and the presence of that college fund.

I hope, for her sake, she wins the amount outstanding for the high school tuition and gets her college fund released so she can head to college this fall. She shouldn't have the rest of her life penalized because of a boy--not when teenaged girls are known to be fickle.

You are right. It has no place in the public realm.

They should be working it out amongst themselves. Maybe her parents are controlling. Lots of parents are. Bottom line: if you want my money, its my rules.

Fortunately for my kids, "my rules" are not so bad. Other parents are far, far worse. But their kids have no right to expect financial aid if they are unwilling to follow the rules.

FWIW, the father saying she needs to reconsider her choice in boyfriends...that is a dead giveaway that they are over bearing parents. But that is their right. I have known many people who have used such parents as motivation for finding self reliance.

It has no place in a courtroom.

Spoiled brat who probably got bad advice from her loser boyfriend. Good for the parents and the judge better toss this faster than a fat guy eating a cheeseburger.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


I've been in her position and, at least for me, the extreme overbearing was just the proverbial tip of the iceberg. Affluent families can actually get away with far more abuse than an impoverished one. A lot of people that knew me as a teen thought for sure I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Most had no clue that CPS had actually been called to my home and had turned right around. When you're growing up in a family that is well off, in a nice house, wearing nice clothes and have a nice car, it's really quite amazing what can really go on behind those closed doors. In my case, by the time I was 16 years old, I was diagnosed with dissociative disorder with amnesia and childhood PTSD. To most, I wouldn't have looked any different from this young girl.

I know firsthand what damage can be done to a life because of actions like these and to this day, I know to never be vulnerable with my parents for that is a guarantee that abuse will follow. It's not to say that that is what her circumstances are like. She could very well be a spoiled brat. However, I personally would never withhold tuition for something as basic as high school and certainly wouldn't withhold college funds from either of my children just because I didn't like a boyfriend or girlfriend they had. Hell, if anything, that kind of thing is more likely to blow up in the parents' faces--Romeo and Juliet syndrome. Better to wait as it's likely to be a passing phase if they do happen to be right about the boy. Overall, it's not worth damaging the rest of her life over. Period.

WhiteAlice
reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan

 

I've been in her position and, at least for me, the extreme overbearing was just the proverbial tip of the iceberg. Affluent families can actually get away with far more abuse than an impoverished one. A lot of people that knew me as a teen thought for sure I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Most had no clue that CPS had actually been called to my home and had turned right around. When you're growing up in a family that is well off, in a nice house, wearing nice clothes and have a nice car, it's really quite amazing what can really go on behind those closed doors. In my case, by the time I was 16 years old, I was diagnosed with dissociative disorder with amnesia and childhood PTSD. To most, I wouldn't have looked any different from this young girl.

I know firsthand what damage can be done to a life because of actions like these and to this day, I know to never be vulnerable with my parents for that is a guarantee that abuse will follow. It's not to say that that is what her circumstances are like. She could very well be a spoiled brat. However, I personally would never withhold tuition for something as basic as high school and certainly wouldn't withhold college funds from either of my children just because I didn't like a boyfriend or girlfriend they had. Hell, if anything, that kind of thing is more likely to blow up in the parents' faces--Romeo and Juliet syndrome. Better to wait as it's likely to be a passing phase if they do happen to be right about the boy. Overall, it's not worth damaging the rest of her life over. Period.

I wouldn't, either.

But parents who do have the right to be bad parents.

If the parents participated in criminal acts, then this cannot be rightfully resolved in civil court until criminal proceedings are final. Seems like she is in the wrong court to attain redress if that is the problem.

But we don't know the facts or details. Other than we have a young lady who claims to be dependant on her parents for financing, but is not able to jump through the parental hoops to maintain that financing.

In any event...this still doesn't belong in court.

reply to post by sled735


What I would say about this, is that if a person is eighteen years of age, that is the point at which two things happen. First of all, that is the precise point at which the rules that her parents lay down, stop applying one little bit, to her daily life, and that is EXACTLY as it should be, under their roof or not.

It is also the point at which she must decide whether she prefers the rules under which she has lived thus far, or whether she wants to head out into the big bad world, where her education will cost her money, where her place of dwelling will eat into her frappachino fund, where her rates, utilities, taxes, and the like, will start eating into her pocket like ravenous, half starved locust swarms.

So it is really a case of two sets of idiots. Parents who think they ought to have any control over a childs behavior once they reach eighteen, are exclusively and entirely bloody fools, who have either forgotten what it is to be eighteen, or never experienced it correctly. Children who reach that age thinking they can get a free ride are also ignorant, air headed fools, who entirely deserve the crushing debt, harrowing lack of personal power, and sharp shock of the reality check that comes with adult hood.

I think it is rather terrible really, that this awful brats behaviour has caused such upset to her parents, when behaviour like that is IMPOSSIBLE for a person who has been bought up correctly in the first place. There are no well bought up kids, who behave like this, monied or not. The fact is, behaviour like this comes exclusively from being spoiled and getting everything one wants, constantly for the first seventeen years of life, which is a crap way to bring up a child.

I am going to go ahead and give a full round of applause to all three halfwits in this situation, for making such a horrific balls up of what could have been a wonderful start in a life.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


If the college fund is, in fact, in her name than it does belong in court. Most college funds are put into the recipient's name for tax purposes but, like I said, held in trust (529 plan). Trust accounts are basically where the parents maintain control over the account in question passed the legal age of adulthood. Considering that it's nearly guaranteed that her college fund is as such, the case absolutely belongs in the courts. It's rather like an emancipation case in that sense and there is precedent to it. Definitely not the first time that an adult child has sued their parents to have a trust relinquished to them.

Even if the parents deposited monies into that account, they basically avoided taxation on both those amounts and any interest by pledging those monies to their daughter's future education. Theoretically, if they win and do not shell it out for her education, the odds will be that the account will most likely come under IRS scrutiny. Kind of dumb on their part.

reply to post by WhiteAlice


Jesus....

you're right. From the perspective of the college fund, it is a court matter to decide.

I agree with Truebrit...at 18 a parent should only exert advisory leverage over their children. I tell my 24 year old son my advice all the time. Rarely does he listen. And never do i with hold cash from him for it. I committed to getting him through his degree, and i will follow through on that come hell or high water.

But ill tell you...a young, gay male is prone to a whole different set of bad decisions. And I cannot guarantee that i won't strangle him on any given Christmas/Thanksgiving.

Sounds like a spoiled little princess, which would be the parents fault, perhaps, maybe not.

Being a parent that has booted a child, although it sounds like for more serious reasons, too many kids these days have the attitude that they "deserve" everything handed to them. Even when they are forced to work for things, their friends may not, so they don't think they should either.

And she brought this out to the public, by taking it to court, so why not discuss it? Do you not think there will be more of this going on, if she actually wins???

chiefsmom
Do you not think there will be more of this going on, if she actually wins???

edit on 4-3-2014 by chiefsmom because: spelling as usual

edit on 4-3-2014 by chiefsmom because: clarify

a good parent who builds a solid relationship and good citizen with their kids would never have to worry unless their child was predisposed to various levels of sociopathy, etc.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


While your statement is true, think about how heavily medicated the kids of today are? Because they all have "treatable" mental issues. Pfft.

Unfortunately, I can see this happening more, if she does win.

All I can say to her is welcome to the real world. She is 18 and is now considered an adult so really her parents shouldn't be forced to pay for her college expenses. Why didn't she save her money and work her way through college many people do just that.

reply to post by WhiteAlice


Yep, me too. In my case, I was tossed out at 17 for NOT getting an abortion!

The parents should be required to finish paying this girl's high school tuition. It was their decision to put her in a private school. They have no right to transfer the responsibility of that debt to their daughter, who is just starting out in life, or to threaten her with not graduating.

reply to post by sled735


People like this girl are the reasons why I worry about our countries future... I'm not too much older then her, only 29, but at 18 when I decided to move out I did it all on my own. I also worked my tail off as a full-time employee to help pay my own way through college (because my parents had no money)... Suing your parents for not getting your way is beyond ridiculous.. This girl deserves to be shamed on the national spotlight so hopefully it teaches all other kids to never take such a ridiculous course of action. I hope she gets nothing and I'd love to see her parents counter-sue her back, lol........

I will say one last thing, I used to get bothered knowing that a lot of my friends growing up had college paid for and were always given the new "best" thing out there by their parents. I never received such luxuries of life and knew that if I wanted something I would have to work for it. I now appreciate hard work that much more today and it makes me sad that so many from my generation have no understanding to how to do anything today other than work their smart phone... This generation is doomed if people don't start figuring things out for themselves soon and stop depending on mommy and daddy to take care of everything..

You don't grind you don't eat.

Simple as that, let her enjoy some reality.

I could be persuaded on the issue of tuition. Perhaps the parents should pay that and allow her to remain in good academic standing.

Now, the matter of them continuing to pay her bills and giving her financial support is ludicrous. If she wants to live on her own, then she should put on some "big girl pants" and get a #ing job! I, like millions of others, worked through high school and undergrad and I swear, it didn't kill me. Actually, it fostered a sense of responsibility (socially, financially, etc) and reinforced my independence. I'm sure many ATSers will verify that with their own experiences as well.

For her money is something that comes from mommy and daddy, when she should realize by now money is earned from employment. Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong when parents help their children get established in life, but I can't stomach someone who has no intention of eventually making their own way. The "everyone gets a trophy" mentality has fostered a false sense of exceptionalism in an entire generation of Americans. This girl needs a reality check....over bearing parents or not, she still comes of as a spoiled brat.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


lol, yeah, kids can be a handful for sure. For both of mine, it seems to all begin to deteriorate at the age of 11 and may rapidly go downhill from there until they finally come around the bend to realize that their mother isn't worthless after all, lol. I'm the same way with my eldest, too. The only time that I would ever restrict money from either of them would be in the case of addiction. My parental policies are based off of my own experiences with my parents. I was so worried that I would end up being like my own parents because I didn't know what a good parent was. Then I realized that all I had to do was the exact opposite of what my own parents did. So far, it's working pretty swimmingly--my kids both love and respect me--well most of the time, lol. My son is, at the least, bi or gay as well so totally understand where you're coming from. He appalled me terribly when he thought that I was going to be angry at his choice. He got the verbal lashing of his life for thinking that. It's his life and all I want for him is to have a good and happy one.

I think the problem with stories like my own and this girl's is that society tends to view children who seem to have it all with a bit of a prejudice. I definitely experienced that and, technically, still do. People cannot even imagine what kind of abuse can occur when a family has wealth and power. All they see are the pretty clothes.

It's really kind of weird, too. So many people comprehend that a very significant number of those that are successful in business could potentially qualify as psychopaths. Yet, when considering what it is like to be raised by such a psychopath, all they see are the trappings of wealth and those trappings are so very important to a psychopath. How their family looks, after all, reflects on them. At the end of the day though, they're still a psychopath.

I'm not saying that this girl is a worthless POS, but she is a worthless POS.......

And the worst part of this story is the dbag dad of the girls best friend who is bank rolling this law suit for the girl..

For months, Rachel — an honor student, cheerleader, and lacrosse player — has been living with the family of her best friend and classmate, Jaime Inglesino, whose father, attorney John Inglesino, is bankrolling Rachel’s lawsuit. He’s also requesting in the lawsuit that the Cannings reimburse him for the legal fees, so far totaling $12,597, according to the paper.

Feel free to reach out to him.

Mod Edit, removed personal phone number and email address