Are you a psychological rapist?

tigertatzen
I don't carry rolls of quarters so I can hit someone for simply looking at me. I carry them because I walk everywhere and if I get jumped whilst walking, I have a way to defend myself. My grandfather taught me that, and I have carried them for years. The guy who grabbed my butt pinched me so hard I had a bruise for three weeks afterward. Not only did he touch me inappropriately, but he hurt me. And he was a complete stranger. So yeah, I jacked him in the jaw. With my fist. And I would do it again. The only regret I have is that I didn't hit him harder.

This much I certainly agree with. Kinda strange that people are calling you out on the rolls of quarters, while at the same time they advocate the carrying of firearms for self-defense. There's nothing wrong with what you've done, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Bravo!

reply to post by Cathcart

Yes you are right.

Men don't get raped by Kate Upton or Selena Gomez or Ann Coulter.
Well, maybe Ann rapes dudes...

It tends to be a choice of taking what is wanted.

How this thread descended into bodies as opposed to ideas I shall never know...

dfens

redhorse

"Hey baby come sit on my face" is worthy of ridicule, but if you want to defend crap like that as part of "men's culture" then to each their own I suppose; by that same token I'll keep my contempt for men who consider behavior like that as something they are entitled to be allowed to do. Those are not men I want any where near me or my daughter.

If you have ever met a man that has successfully used that line without hemorrhaging cash and knocking on deaths door and was not the POTUS... He was probably the most interesting man in the world.

Women are not that stupid. Maybe it's just me.

That is the reason why men rape. I know it is a touchy subject. Men rape because they are stupid and usually can't successfully woo a woman proper.

Unbelievably or not, there is not enough love or tolerance.

Some guys find religion or other things to fill the void of not being able to figure out a woman.
I've seen the meme... It says that women understand each other... That's why they hate each other.

Blimey!!

That is NOT why MEN rape.... MEN don't rape period.... loonies, mentally ill criminals rape.... *sigh*

Witness2008
reply to post by InTheLight

 

When at work, men my age (50 something) will deliberately let me know (verbally), all the while knowing that I am married, that they either find me attractive or are further interested in getting to know me on a more personal level. I do not consider this a laughing matter, but rather makes me feel uncomfortable, and I question why these married and/or single men want to go there. I am there to work in a professional capacity and never give anyone reason to believe otherwise.

I certainly understand that, and stated so in my post.

I am your age. I have been fired for not putting out, I have been physically assaulted, discriminated against, stalked, and I still receive unwanted attention in public. The attention has changed along with my age, and, at times, I have felt flattered considering the politeness that had come with the attention. I have not become jaded, I have become a realist. I see it for what it is....insecure desperation. There truly is something wrong or missing in a person that feels the need to overpower another in any manner. It has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them.

Work environments are a whole other beast. It really has not been so long since laws were drafted to ensure that one would not loose their job due to being the recipient of sexual harassment. Men and women should join forces on this one, as I believe that men are having to deal with what was once upon a time exclusive to women.

The only attention I want, along those lines, is from my husband and vice versa because it comes from a place of love, history and depth of meaning.

I too could tell you many stories from my younger days of physical sexual harrassment in my places of work, such as one time my boss stood behind me and pressed his 'you know what' against my back. I was in such shock I did not know what to do and did not tell anyone for fear of being called a liar, due to men wielding all the power back then. Another, a man would go around the workplace and grab women's breasts. When I complained to my boss, he said "Can't you take a joke?". I replied that if he did not do something about this, that I would.

These issues are going to take time to equalize. I mean it's within my lifetime that rape has been fully criminalised. of course old fashioned ideas mysogynistic ideas will have there opposite in extreme feminist ideology. As always the middle ground is where most people are.

reply to post by Mister_Bit

A rapist is NOT a man, a rapist has something wrong with them, it is an individual failing, not a gender related issue.

It is a gender issue to a certain large degree in that men are capable of over powering women physically. Women may have the same sick inclinations, but lack the physical means to carry it out.

It has not been so long ago that the beating and raping of a wife was considered a personal matter with few to zero laws protecting us.

I think that the fear for women of being over powered and exploited is imprinted in our DNA as a survival mechanism.

Most of the men in my life consider the history, and our proximity to it. And if others in this thread and elsewhere did the same, this thread would be a more joint venture, rather than the divisive bait that it is.

Witness2008
reply to post by Mister_Bit

 

A rapist is NOT a man, a rapist has something wrong with them, it is an individual failing, not a gender related issue.

Most of the men in my life consider the history, and our proximity to it. And if others in this thread and elsewhere did the same, this thread would be a more joint venture, rather than the divisive bait that it is.

Well agreed, but as you seem intent on twisting, misreading my intent and misunderstanding everything I post I'll leave you to your divisive bait.

reply to post by Witness2008


Misandry makes thoughtful men defensive.

Yes, men can over power women. But if you say that in any real context, you are labelled "sexist", if you are a man. Because men and women are equal. Not "equal but different"...because "different" can be construed as "unequal" in the fears of a feminist.

So we see pushes for things like having women do jobs that require physical prowess. And many do the job well. But it is a slim few out of the entire demographic that would be capable of the physical demands of some jobs that men have typically done (like making war, or tripping pipe on a drilling rig).

So the average man walks into this thread knowing that he cannot say, "Men are physically stronger than women" without the risk of making himself flame bait.

If you are going to want to have equal participation in this thread, you have a huge task ahead of you. Because damage continues to be done in the overall relationship between the genders in America.

reply to post by Mister_Bit


I tend to speak to every member when speaking to the one. I was simply expressing my views from experience and not intending to offend you or call into question your reasoning. My apologies.

5 years ago, this is me:

6'2" tall
Long hair
beard
wearing an ac/dc tshirt
huge physical appearance

Were I to walk, at night, on a street towards a woman, how would that woman respond? Would she cross the street to the other side to lessen our interaction?

I konw we are all familiar with this question being posed from the perspective of race. It is a common philosophical discussion: is it racist to cross the street on the presumption that a black man walking towards you is dangerous?

What about if you remove color, and just say, "man". Does crossing the street make you sexist? Does just that fear, alone, make you sexist?

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


I think that's absolute tripe, why would anybody flame you for saying most men are physically stronger than most women. It wouldn't happen, but if you're obviously hoping to gain something by saying it would.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


It depends what you fear. If it's rape, then no as women can't rape you. If you cross to avoid being mugged but only when it's a man, then that would be sexist.

tigertatzen
reply to post by yourignoranceisbliss

 

American Feminism has quickly degraded into a mental illness on par with paranoid schizophrenia. Seriously, look at the parallels.

What are you saying? By "parallels" do you mean to imply that feminists are crazy? Unnecessarily paranoid? Hear voices? That's classy. You think just because a woman doesn't like being treated like a piece of meat every time she goes anywhere by random strangers that somehow she must be a raging, bra-incinerating feminist? Feminism has nothing to do with it. It's called "common decency", and both men and women should be practicing it. Period.

Yeah, the glaring problem with your assumed concept of what you believe 'should' be considered "common decency" relies entirely upon the admission that Women are the weaker sex. Or do you simply (claim) to carry around four rolls of quarters because you like pinball?

American Feminism has EVERYTHING to do with this problem. It's why you've been brainwashed into thinking you're *entitled* to safety and a life of never being treated how Women have been since the dawn of Mankind. No one here is saying it's justified because of the undeniable differences between Men and Women, but you're clearly suffering from the delusion that any Western 1st world nation, by virtue of being a top-tier "civilized" nation in respect to everywhere else, guarantees you a life free from whatever makes you feel uncomfortable, *just* because you're a Woman.

You aren't entitled to anything in life. Men know this and struggle with it their entire lives. It's the reason we typically have to strive so hard in order to attract and keep a mate. You may truly believe you're entitled to fair treatment, your sex being negligible, but you're being indulged precisely *because* you're a Woman. Did you really believe that 10's of thousands of years of Human behavior could be re-written in a scant hundred years? Since you're a Woman, I'll have to find that possible.

Now before you begin on an emotionally driven tirade about how I must be some ___, ____, ____ Misogynist, I'll remind you that your ad hominem was born out of the inability to have a logical debate based upon historical relevancy. You may feel incensed by my words, but history has proven me correct. Gender is NOT a social construct. Men and Women ARE different. Men typically are stronger than Women. You cannot refute this, and as such, you are forced to accept that you live a world where you will never truly be free from danger. Doesn't matter where you live. Common decency is this ideological fallacy that you are guaranteed protection from whatever you consider indecent, and lady, this entire world is full of indecent. Sorry to break you out of your bubble so late in life, but that's just how it is.

Your inability to handle reality, and how you lash out at Men who clearly have nothing to do with your un-diagnosed paranoia, tells me that you refuse to accept your role in life. That's perfectly fine though! You ARE entitled to spend the rest of your life alone and miserable, cursing Men for being so damn evil and conspiring against you. I'm sure your multitude of cats will be very interested in your conspiracy theories about the patriarchy out to get you. Your freedom to be an angry, bitter spinster, was made possible by a bunch of old conspiring Men! Doesn't that just twist your underpants?

:^)

bigfatfurrytexan
reply to post by Witness2008

 

Misandry makes thoughtful men defensive.

Yes, men can over power women. But if you say that in any real context, you are labelled "sexist", if you are a man. Because men and women are equal. Not "equal but different"...because "different" can be construed as "unequal" in the fears of a feminist.

So we see pushes for things like having women do jobs that require physical prowess. And many do the job well. But it is a slim few out of the entire demographic that would be capable of the physical demands of some jobs that men have typically done (like making war, or tripping pipe on a drilling rig).

So the average man walks into this thread knowing that he cannot say, "Men are physically stronger than women" without the risk of making himself flame bait.

If you are going to want to have equal participation in this thread, you have a huge task ahead of you. Because damage continues to be done in the overall relationship between the genders in America.

I am a realist. Men and women are not equal in many ways. We are different in many ways. However, history and to some extent the present has given women due cause to be cautious and I'm sure at times over reactive.

I am not a feminist, and do not agree with the premiss of competing with men. The reason that our recent past has led us in the direction of demanding equality instead of respect was we were no where near getting the respect. Measures of equality were taken for the purposes of not having to feel over powered any longer in the work place.

The world is filled with belief systems and cultures that rate us as second class citizens or just plain old property. We have a ways to go.

Mister_Bit
Blimey!!

That is NOT why MEN rape.... MEN don't rape period.... loonies, mentally ill criminals rape.... *sigh*

On Thursday, February 27, 2014, officials in Orleans Parish, La., filed two charges of aggravated rape against Sharper and another two counts against Erik Nunez, 26, related to the alleged September 2013 incident in New Orleans. Investigators said a second woman came forward with a complaint following an initial report shortly after the alleged rape. Louisiana law states that a person convicted of committing aggravated rape shall be punished by life imprisonment at hard labor without benefit of parole, probation or suspension of sentence.

He drugs them first


I guess if I were a single dude, what I would obviously do first in order to have a successful sex life, it would be to become a multimillionaire HOF football player... I'd make sure that I was extremely good looking too. Usually it is not enough.

I stick by my claim that men are not good at cultivating relationships.

You are right that about being wrong in the head.

Not even sure what this thread is about anymore. ?Rape the body, rape the mind?

WilsonWilson
reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan

 

I think that's absolute tripe, why would anybody flame you for saying most men are physically stronger than most women. It wouldn't happen, but if you're obviously hoping to gain something by saying it would.

I don't know why.

Why did Jimmy the Greek get fired for pointing out that people of African American descent seem to be faster?

Why are women being pushed into front line military duty? Or showing up on drilling rigs?

I don't care if you agree with me or not. I have been shouted down for suggesting that very thing. Both in person, and in this very forum. So unless you have something to provide as evidence, even your own anecdote, don't bother.

FWIW, i have noted that you are insinuating that i have something to gain. Since life is about learning and growing, perhaps understanding the behaviors of your logical fallacy will help improve your overall logic ability:

Appeal To Motive

dfens

Mister_Bit
Blimey!!

That is NOT why MEN rape.... MEN don't rape period.... loonies, mentally ill criminals rape.... *sigh*

On Thursday, February 27, 2014, officials in Orleans Parish, La., filed two charges of aggravated rape against Sharper and another two counts against Erik Nunez, 26, related to the alleged September 2013 incident in New Orleans. Investigators said a second woman came forward with a complaint following an initial report shortly after the alleged rape. Louisiana law states that a person convicted of committing aggravated rape shall be punished by life imprisonment at hard labor without benefit of parole, probation or suspension of sentence.

He drugs them first


I guess if I were a single dude, what I would obviously do first in order to have a successful sex life, it would be to become a multimillionaire HOF football player... I'd make sure that I was extremely good looking too. Usually it is not enough.

I stick by my claim that men are not good at cultivating relationships.

You are right that about being wrong in the head.

Not even sure what this thread is about anymore. ?Rape the body, rape the mind?

edit on 2-3-2014 by dfens because: (no reason given)

It's all tied together wouldn't you say, considering the study of this topic was conducted with young college students? I believe, that environment lends itself to exploratory and inappropriate behaviour for both sexes. Hopefully, most of those young people can learn from their mistakes and become better people. We are not keeping the topic of this thread in it's true context.

"The perpetrators also claimed their main reason for committing sexual coercion was their extreme sexual arousal. These first-hand reports indicate that sexual coercion is not about power, but about sex."

www.fit.edu...

dfens

redhorse

"Hey baby come sit on my face" is worthy of ridicule, but if you want to defend crap like that as part of "men's culture" then to each their own I suppose; by that same token I'll keep my contempt for men who consider behavior like that as something they are entitled to be allowed to do. Those are not men I want any where near me or my daughter.

If you have ever met a man that has successfully used that line without hemorrhaging cash and knocking on deaths door and was not the POTUS... He was probably the most interesting man in the world.

Women are not that stupid. Maybe it's just me.

That is the reason why men rape. I know it is a touchy subject. Men rape because they are stupid and usually can't successfully woo a woman proper.

Unbelievably or not, there is not enough love or tolerance.

Some guys find religion or other things to fill the void of not being able to figure out a woman.
I've seen the meme... It says that women understand each other... That's why they hate each other.

You sound reasonable enough and I'm glad you think women are not stupid. You are correct that approach doesn't work but comments like that are not outliers. I'm not skewing the data here. I got that one, (and worse) just walking down the street. It does happen, it is not uncommon, it is crappy (and as you said) stupid and probably a testosterone charged consequence of sexual frustration more often then not. However it happens all the time all the same, and usually these men and boys receive NO negative repercussions for demeaning and aggressive statements like that. Just because you don't see it, don't assume that it is not a common experience for some of us. Part of the reason why they don't have any accountability for behavior like this is because it is ignored, painted as out of the ordinary (as you have done "Oh it doesn't happen that much, and women don't fall for it anyway".), or justified by apologist statements and categorizations like "men's culture" that are designed to excuse away behavior like that. (You know... Boys will be boys... Wink wink). So don't say anything ladies because the culture at large and men specifically will blow you off as irrational, overly sensitive, or exaggerating.

On the other hand there is a right way and a wrong way. It is about respect. If men want to compliment a woman, fine. Great even. Just the other day I had an errand down town but I had to park a good distance away. My walk took me past the greyhound bus station and three guys smoking outside the door. They were a bit unkempt, which I noticed because I pay attention to the people around me. I walked past and behind me I heard "Hey girl, nice hair!" I whirled around and I said... "Thank you. You just made my day". It was a compliment. It was a nice thing to say. I was not afraid, or offended. But I can tell you those three guys (I could see it on their face) thought I was gonna read them the riot act, and that is a shame. So I can see where the P.C. stuff goes way too far, but don't explain away crappy behavior by implying it doesn't happen enough to matter or complain about it, because that is what it looks like you are doing. If I've got you wrong, I apologize but just because it doesn't work, that doesn't mean that I should have to put up with it.

reply to post by Witness2008


We may have a ways to go, but we will never get there. We will always have a ways to go.

No amount of legal maneuvering will ever change what is in the hearts of people. That is why i have said "be the change you want to see". Raise your boys to respect women and men. Not as "equals", because the concepts of "equal" indicates that the notion of "unequal" exists.

You and I agree on what we want to see in the world. But I think our lifes perspectives will not allow agreement on what went wrong and how it can be remedied. And I suspect a real answer would lie something in between.

I think it all starts working when we observe gender roles. That is a "natural order" kind of thing. Not that men shouldn't be parents or anything like that. But more along the lines of not forcing equality where none exists. Unless we really want to see women in the NFL.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


My evidence is Hillary. But I'm not fighting against you.

Evidence supports that women get away with more.

Racism doesn't really care about the man/woman dynamic. It says: "go for it."