UP has been Kidnapped by Aliens!

I just got this utu from Ultra Pheonix.

Helllo friend netchicken.
I must write this very fast so please excuse the errors. I was at home last night drinking my favorite belgium beer and eating waffles and there was this bright blue light all around the house.

I went outside thinking it was the dirty french up to something, I think they want to make Air Nuclear tests over Belgium, when I saw a big flying spaceship over the house.

Then this light came and sucked my wife and 2 kids out of the window and up into the ship!

I got really scared man and ran inside and locked myself in the office, but there is a banging on the door and they are coming to get me. I post this to you to tell the others that I am being ki

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The email ends here, if you see UP around then please let us know more!

OMG!!! I saw UP being abducted by ALIENS!!!! OMG!! Where are they taking him!! I hope they dont shove a probe up his a$$!!!

on the evening of the may second in georgia, several sightings of ufos were reported flying low to the ground. the odd part is there seemed to be a european man being dangled from a cord from the ship. puzzled farmers decided to throw pitchforks at the object, deciding on it being the so called 'pope' the figure on the cord seemed to be yelling about something metal that was in his ahhh 'rectal' area. what this means is only speculation. full story at eleven.

There was a reported sighting of a UFO over the Louisville, Kentucky tonight. The siteing was called in by several drunken revelers who were enjoying the Kentucky Derby a day to early. None of the reports were taken seriously until SGT Bob Hale confirmed that indee there was a UFO hovering over Louisville, though the Sgt was unsure if it was alien or Belgian as the only occupant he could see was drunk and screaming about how the French had screwed him over. Then he threw a Belgian beer bottle at the officer and the saucer craft shot out of site. Sgt Hale was suspended for possible alchohol abuse while on duty.

Very strange, I was just outside taking out the trash which Isis saw through remote viewing and I was sorta embrassed about it, I was out side and I heard "AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIII" sound I looked up and there was a enormous craft with blue lights and it was a triangle shape with rounded edges, it was no more than 20 ft above me, then I see a being jump out and land on my roof, roll down the side and fall into my yard, it was a fully shaven naked european with a waffle and each hand. He begged me, "You gotta help me, they are after me, it is true, ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! Quick you gotta hide me!" I was in shock not sure what to do then a beam of light hit the naked man and sucked him up while he was screaming "NO GOD NO NOT THE COLD METAL PROBE AGAIN!!!! AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEIIIII!" he was sucked into the ship which then must've hit warp speed because it disappeared from site with in 3 seconds straight up into the air. Then all of the sudden 2 guys in black suits showed up and told that there was a weather balloon that is malfunctioning in the area and asked if I saw anything "strange" I quickly said no, no I haven't I was taking out the trash, I turned my back for a second to close the lid and when I turned back around they were gone!!!!!

Certainly, there has been no end of reporting of mysterious flying Belgians (MFB) in the East.
reports initially said that Pyongyang were testing a secret device: however, as it remained airborne for more than three seconds, this ws dismissed.
Otehr theories involve a Weather Balloon or even a Weather Walloon.
These too were scrapped when the object began transmitting messages in Flemish.
Total secrecy surrounds the text of these messages; but rumour has it that they say " I am the President. I have the most posts."
More later, cyberchums. Chinese technology, while promising, can be slow.
We recall that they invented paper 2,000 years ago; but have yet to place any in public lavatories.

Reports just in speak of a strange sight over the main city here recently.

Mrs J Smith, an elderly pensioner said "I was just outside petting my kitty when I heard this terrible scream, I thought it was the neighbours again, they always do that when George Bush is on TV, but it was up in the air"

She added breathlessly " I looked up and was a naked man dangling from a flying machine by one foot! There was a small grey man trying to drag him back in"

When asked what nationality she thought the man was she said that "I thought he was from Beglium as he didn't have very big cojones, My Howard, bless his soul, always said that about the belgiuns and he also said the french had none at all! I never understood that as they must breed somehow.."

Alabama lady may have had too much to drink tonight..

Just minutes ago a lady was outdoors swimming when she saw what she thought was lightning. She began gathering up her towel and belongings when she saw a naked man cascading across the brightly shining moon. He appeared to be holding a sign saying something along the lines of "It was those nasty French!"

She also claims that she saw a large thermometer like device hanging from his anus, which supposedly fell from the sky and knocked her uncounscious. This "thermometer" has yet to be found, and skeptics believe that she may just be "a senile old woman". This would, however, explain the strange scent of feces adorning the lady as she was carried into the emergency room.



[Edited on 3-5-2003 by mirrorsparadise]

Reuters:
Mexico City, Mexico; Juan Valdez a Colombian immigrant is said to have witnessed waffles falling from the sky onto his small ranch. "I was out in the field herding my goats and cattle making sure el chupacabra didn't kill any of my herd, when all of the sudden thousands of belgian waffles begain raining down from the sky." He said shaking his head in disbelief, he then added "Obviously el chupacabra is trying to distract me, he is a sneaky senor."

Just went for a walk to the store and some strange man approached me claming to be UP insisting I come with him. He had some strange devise attached to his head when I asked him what it was he said it was a new kind of cell phone. Without a chance to really think about what he had said a blue light appeared and connected to it was this disk shaped object, UP screamed "NOOOOO" and suddenly disappeared.

Guys what is going on here my cell phone keeps ringing and I do not dare answer.

They just broke in on the game here with breaking news! Thousands of people in NYC saw what is described as "A flying saucer being flown haphazzardly by a drunken Belgian".

It must be U-P!!!

Police want to question the pilot as empty beer cans and a leather mask were thrown out of the saucers window by a pot bellied man described as "He was screaming "Thats for you Frenchies" but apparently he doesnt know he is in the US"

I just got an alphapage from our Emergency Operations Command, flash bulletin from the Federal Terrorism Taskforce. Extra attention has been paid to flying vehicals violating air space near nuclear facilities:

As of 8:19 PM central time, an Unidentified Flying Object was observed penetrating restricted airspace near the PanTex facility in west Texas (nuclear weapon dismantling and disposal facility).

Personnel on site indicated that the UFO approached to very close range to the main building, with some apparatus suspended from the bottom of the vehical. When security personnel hit it with a spotlight, the apparatus was identified as a nude male, suspended upside down from his prostate area by a rectally inserted device. This male was heard uttering obscenities in what appeared to be English and French, although at least one guard reported hearing him say something to the effect of "Damn Nans! No one told me the Frenchies liked Greek style!"

Fearing a potential suicide air attack (or at least a homicide bombing from the suspended European) PanTex security opened fire on the object with thier issue Ruger Mini-14s. Unfortunately, the puny 5.56mm projectiles largely fell far short of thier target, hampered by their limited range. The UFO then hovered just out of 5.56mm range for a few moments until a particularly well armed guard arrived on site with a 7.62mm FN FAL and fired several shots a the UFO. After several shots riccocheted off of the side, it was observed departing at high speed, with the European male still suspended underneath it.

AHHHHHHH waffels everyhwere and beer cans O MY who let UP drive the custom ATS ufo again. Huh he was abducted o my. Our Beloved President NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Um, i have a frightening revelation to make. UP and i and anyone else with Phoenix in our tags, are actually part of a Martian militant group hoping to use genes and cloning to conquer mankind and build Neo Mars on earth. the order of the phoenix was established in ad -666 in china, and unfortunately our secrets are going to be revealed in the fifth harry ptter book titled the order of the phoenix. UP has been the commander of the Martian military for sometime and was arrested recently for treason against our gov't. there is currently a mission going on to rescue him. the Phoenix Militia was founded as the private military to protect the Phoenix Order, and in ad 1ooo fought a war against the martian gov't that ended up destroying our world.

then we decided to come to earth, for the past millineum we've been integrating ourselves into the human societies worldwide, mainly in europe and asia. our boggest followers are russian and chinese. we are the founders of communism and invented the cheese grater. the ufos you've seen are really nothing more than the equivelant of your skateboard. we fly around in space and play with the stars. we can breathe in space, and smoke a lot of weed. but that's not the point. beware for we dangle people on coat hangers!!!

viva la phoenix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just saw on the news about some small pudgy Belgian guy. They showed he was recently reported missing from his native Belgium, and was last seen in the New Jersey area with two thin greyish looking guys with big heads and slanted eyes. He is considered possibly armed and dangerous, but only of you parlez-vous francais. It's gotta be UP, what should we do? We cant just leave him hangin'.

Another flash bulletin from Emergency Operations Command:

Interpol just released information that the Belgian abductee seen hanging from his prostate over PanTex in West Texas was originally having a clandestine love affair with a French double agent working for the Cabal and the Reptoids, by the name of Nans Desmichels...

Apparently the Belgian called off the affair and in anger, Nans ordered an interstellar hit on the Belgian. Apparently, her orders included widespread humiliation and torture, hence the peculiar transportation mode noted outside of the PanTex facility.

More news as it becomes available.

I was sitting on my roof like I usually do when Im drunk, I had my shotgun and was sceaming at the neighbors about aliens and government conspiracies and stuff. I jab at the air with my bottle of whiskey to accentuate each point. I seen all these crazy lights, and thought to myself "Oh great, its sheriff John again" when I seen this mad, one eye'd Belgian flying the saucer right over my house!! I took a shot at the saucer with my gun, I always figured if I see an alien I better kill it, but the bullets just bounced off of the ship.

[Edited on 5-3-2003 by William One Sac]

Am getting info from personal sources the UFO has been identified and is being tracked.

The US government seems prepared to use a top secret HAARP Satellite to shoot it down but Belgian authorities are filing a grievance with the UN. Their exact words were "as long as that naked Belgian is hanging from the ship, we consider the US to be committing an act against our government."

Apparently Russia supports the Belgian position as does France, Germany and Morocco (UP apparently owes them a lot of money).



[Edited on 3-5-2003 by Toltec]

our debate thingy about "alien transistors" is off??

*can't really prove our side if our captain is somewhere flying high in the sky with aliens, can we?*
Magestica

Um. Don't go looking for aliens in Mexico, Trust me on this, You don't want to go there.

They'll find you, I have a lot of relatives down there, terrible stuff going on down there.

-Dissapearances
-Mutilations
-Chupacabras
-UFO's a'pleanty
-Aliens will be walking around in the desert, and nobody cares.!!!!!!!