This is bothering me to no end

So I had this thing happen to me that basically can't be proven to anyone else but myself, as it has to do with my memory, and certain parts of it not being there.

This revelation or what you may call it happened about a month ago and It's been bothering me on a phychological level like nothing else. I've briefly discussed it with Odds22 here on the forum, before he joined this forum (you may remember me inviting some people over from another forum), but the reason I've avoided making this thread is simply because I thought the problem would solve it self, given enough time that is. Well it hasn't.

Ok, enough small talk, what happened to me? You tell me. I'm missing a part of my memory wich I think I'd value pretty high if it were actually there. I'll explain further in a while, first I have to clear one thing up.

Since my UFO sighting in mars 2004 I've become more and more engaged in the UFO phenomena and have as you may know developed one or two theories. I haven't really touched the subject of abduction much, as I'm (or was?) really not a big believer in it. Anyways, over the time when I've read about abduction cases I've always thought that 'If you know you're being abducted and you won't be able to remember _this_ event in the future, leave marks of the event for you to discover in the future". This is something I've come to accept as 'What I would do' as time progressed, reading about abduction cases. An example of this would be scratching something on the wall, like "abducted", or "help" or whatever, for you to discover later. Having no memory of the event would of course leave you suspicious...

I found one of these marks on my computer.

*Deep sigh* This is like being a debunker, believing 100% that the world doesn't have UFOs, yet there you stand with one looking you straight in the face. Frustrating is a word only beginning to describe what I feel right now. I don't Want to f_cking believe this, but there it is, staring me in the face. 2 google searches that I Know I made, but at the same time I have no memory of.

I was casually surfing the net like I always do when my dad who's in the kitchen asks me to do a google search on my computer wich I know I've done before, so I mark the google field in firefox (you know, the one in the top right corner) and press the down key to get the history of what's been searched before. I freeze, confused. My dad asks what's taking so long and I just say something like "Uhh, not now, later". I found a search, in swedish, that had no logical reason for being there. I started looking through all the google search history and found eventually found another one.

The search words were: "no memory" and "memories UFO". I looked through the entire history (list of google searches) several times and I remembered doing all the searches, except those two. They were a f_cking enigma wrapped in a riddle to me, I had, I have no idea were they came from and the explanation that immediately came to mind was that I left them there for me to discover. The searches are pretty 'stupid' too. "inget minne" (no memory), wich the first one read, isn't something you should search google, GOOGLE for christ sake, with, it's just too short. The other one isn't quite as stupid, but what does it mean? "memories UFO", did I see a UFO or did I leave a clue to my future self to unrabble? It's frustrating me to no end, and I have no idea of where to go from here.

There. Just wanted to get that off my chest. I'm not asking anything with this thread, I just wanted you to know, would after all be a shame to be withholding this information. You can ask all the questions you want, but I can't really prove anything. The only thing left from that day is some printscreen screenshots I took off of the google history menu, say the word and they're imageshacked. Also, no one in my family, or even the closest of my friends knows I'm interested in anything like this, so it's not a prank. The only one who could've made those searches are me, wich is why this is such a psychological g_ddamn mindgame for me.

That is a trip Drexon.

I was going to say maybe someone in your family saw that you were interested in UFOs and maybe someone in your family made the search because of something that they experienced , but who knows.

I really don't give as much credence to Abduction stories as the Abductees would want, but I have seen a UFO myself up close and know they are real , so it isn't impossible that some people could be getting abducted.



[edit on 9-10-2005 by lost_shaman]

I was going to say this in the original thread post but avoided to, but now it seems I should anyways.

I'm not a 'fake' poster, I'm a very serious one and I'm putting everything at stake here with this thread. If I have such a thing as 'respect' on this forum that's what's in the pot right now. But like I said, the reason for the thread is not to stir things up, or just get people confused, wich is what a 'fake' poster would do, but more to let people know of this, and of course to get it off my chest. To make my self seem even more serious, think of what a difficult job it would be to actually prove something like this. It's pretty much impossible. So you can see how I'm not trying to prove anything with this thread rather than letting you know what's going on.

Drex out. Going to sleep... turns out it's 3 AM here.

Lay of on the drugs next time and you´ll remember!

...So I get annoyed by you on MSN and point it out in a discrete manner and you take it out on me by harassing me on the forum? Lay off.


And to about this matter, it was kinda an episode I had. I was feeling frustrated, I didn't know what to do with the information at hand and now I've simply put it behind me.

[edit on 16-2-2006 by Drexon]

Had you searched UFO words in Google, but just don't recall using the words"memories" etc? I am just wondering since you had said after the sighting, you had thought about memories being lost, and maybe you were googling around using those words, but just don't recall it.

Also, is it possible, that if you had been googling about UFO's ., that google altered your search words, as it does do this sometimes .. changes what you typed in. Usually not thru the main google site search, but with sites that are powered by google search engime. I don't mean mis-spellings. For instance if you want to search a celebrity, and all you did was type thier first and last name, alternatives are offered, with their name attached to a song title, or lyrics, or whatever the most popular searches are for that particular topic. because the google-bot thinks you want that ! Maybe you took the alternate selection not realizing you had?

And possibly it is just gliitches in the SE itself. Which happens quite often esp when google is updating and cross-referencing.

Still it is entirely possible your anxiety is based on something unexpalinable.

Thanks for trying, voilet, and I actually though you had something there for a sec since I've seen google (powered search engines) do that on some sites, but I'm afraid it's not possible. You see, these searches were in swedish, wich is why it instantly caught my attention, that and the fact that I could remember all the other searches, none UFO related as well. Also when I do those searches nothing I remember I've ever looked into comes up, they're just.. mysterious.

But as with my sighting(s) I entertain the idea that it's all in my head, not that I have a reason for me to think that, I just see it as a possobility. And as I said, there is something actually pointing in the direction of the possibility of an abduction, and that is that I'd thought of 'leaving marks' for me to find later if I was ever in such a situation that I knew I'd be abducted. I can't say that I believe abductions are real in any matter, but somehow it would seem that I left marks at some point or another.

But enough of this.. I'm done speculating about what it might and might not have been. There's absolutely (!) nothing I can do now and the only option is to move on.

[edit on 16-2-2006 by Drexon]

As a true debunker/believer, I can say nothing, I have never seen this happen before, but, there is only one... Well two, there could be a some sort of memory loss, it happens to alot of people, young and old. There is also another explaination, and that is E.T. forces, I am sure you know all about them... Grey's probably, you could have been abducted that day before, discovered that your memory was gone, googled it, greys came back, they poked your brain yet again and sent you off. That is another logical, yet, 'out of this world' theory, but it would explain your memory loss.

If you were trying to prove anything with this thread, I would have debunked this thing until noone here liked me. But since you even mentioned that you weren't trying to that made me to start googling these things you mentioned. Have you read anything that came up in the search? That is my main question, maybe there was something there that was needed to be read, if need be search your house where there are marks in shapes of number's, anywhere, on the walls, somewhere that there were no marks before. Then, if you find anything, go back to the comp. retype either one of those, or both, then go to the link number that you found, maybe there was something there that yo needed to read if my second theory is true... just a suggestion.

Drexon, can you explain how you would have time to write the message to yourself, after you realize you are being abducted? In order for this thing to have happened, you would have had to be at your computer while you were being abducted. How would this occur? Like you see aliens scratching at your window and you quickly type it in before they get in the house or what?

Not being sarcastic, I just don't fully understand how you have time to leave a message to yourself. By the time you realize you are being abducted, I would think it'd be too late.

Also did you experience any missing time. Perhaps you can trace it to the exact time. Also search yourself for implants thoroughly.

[edit on 16-2-2006 by Yarcofin]

Originally posted by Yarcofin
Drexon, can you explain how you would have time to write the message to yourself, after you realize you are being abducted? In order for this thing to have happened, you would have had to be at your computer while you were being abducted. How would this occur? Like you see aliens scratching at your window and you quickly type it in before they get in the house or what?

Not being sarcastic, I just don't fully understand how you have time to leave a message to yourself. By the time you realize you are being abducted, I would think it'd be too late.

Such as my second theory would explain it, maybe they came twice? You don't really know, and it really wouldn't be to late if he is a fast enough typer and a fast enough comp. He would be able to get them both down in a minute flat. Plus you wouldn't be abducted at your comp. due to the reason that you are up, aliens, or some of them, fear humans, thus creating the fear necessary to avoid those who are up.

I have to go to bed now, so I'll make this short but to the point. 1:The fact is that I sit at my computer almost all day and very often late into the night, it is 5:21 AM now. 2: I use Firefox and the way I figure it (pure speculation) I clicked the search bar up in the right hand corner and typed those two things (wich would take less than 15 seconds for me), probably in a stupified/dazed moment because as I mentioned they seem like dumb searches, even for me.

I'll give more thurough answers tomorrow, sorry.

I'd say to take the suggetion of following the searched links in case you are meant to read something, it may even jog your memory

I wouldn't rule out the possiblity that a family member made these searches. Not as a prank, but maybe they have an intersst in the topic themselves, but you just don't know it.

So you cant remember what searches you did on the net or something?.

And your upset about that ?.

If thats right , then so what ? i dont get it .

And you think this happens because you wer maybe abducted.

My guess is you were extremely tired and typed it in and forgot about it. Still, it is rather odd. Anyway, here is part of a recent interview with Jacques Vallee where he talks about the abduction experience and some of the dangers involved with hypnotic regression. While it might not be applicable to you specifically I do think that the overwhelming majority of people who claim to have been abducted (though not all) are victims of false memories:
Editor: You have been very skeptical of the process of hypnotic regression being used to uncover presumably lost memories of UFO entity and abduction encounters. Can you explain why you feel this way?

Jacques Vallee: I have studied over 70 abduction cases, in concert with psychiatrists trained in the use of the clinical hypnosis. These specialists were uniformly horrified when I showed them what some ufologists were doing and claiming on the basis of the regressions they were performing. In case after case, it becomes obvious that hypnosis is NOT a good way to bring back true memories. The psychiatric literature confirms this. In his famous book “The Fifty-Minute Hour,” Dr. Lindner explains why he considered, and then rejected, the use of hypnosis when asked by the FBI to treat a senior engineer who claimed to travel psychically to other planets. Hypnosis can turn a possible fantasy into an experience that becomes irreversible. I have received pathetic letters from famous UFO abductees asking me to help them find a new form of treatment, because they continue to experience traumatic experiences that do not fit into the rigid abduction model. Unfortunately these people cannot be re-hypnotized in a professional manner after they have been subjected to the ludicrous process routinely followed in ufology today in the name of “research.” Thousands of abductees have now been regressed hypnotically, and we know nothing more about the nature of the phenomenon, the alleged craft, or the entities associated with them. I still believe the abduction experience is part of the witnesses’ reality, as Dr. Simon told me when we spent two days with Betty and Barney Hill at their place in New Hampshire, but hypnosis, in most cases, is neither the therapy of choice, nor the best way to explore what really happened to them.
Link

I agree, stay away from the hypnosis.

better to be patient and see if your memory returns naturally. That way, when and if it does, at least you'll know it wasn't tampered with.

Even if it is true that aliens abduct, I am not so sure they block your memories. The person probably does that to themselves, from shock. Amnesia and denial are common symptoms of a traumatic event, whether it is physical or emotional,. You may just be traumatised from seeing a UFO, depending however it was you saw it.

Ok, I'm back. Let's do this thuroughly. Although before I continue I can't stress enough that I actually don't believe in this my self, I'm just as much a believer as any debunker in this thread and I'm only doing this to basically sharpen my reason and logic.

To WaxPineapple and everybody else>

I got to thinking about possible ways this might've happened yesterday and I reached the conclusion that if this went down I must have written these things after the actual abduction. Now, if you look at the searches they suggest something's already happened, "memories ufo" more so, because if you add the word "of" to that semi-sentance you get something sorta comprehensible, "memories of ufo", sorta says it all. "no memory" suggests I know something about to happen, or that I'm maybe feeling it happen as I write. But that's not the only reasons, the main one is that an actual memory erasing device would have to be used at the last moment possible, so that it could erase every memory up to that point, it's pure logic.

Also last night in bed I remembered my stepdad actually studied the human mind and memory, so I gave him a call just now. He says there's a very well documented case called 'The case of N' wich tells the story of a doctor splitting a patients brain in half to counter his epilepsy attacks (they didn't actually cut the brain in half, just the 'connector' between the brain halfs, I forget what it's called). This person lost all near memory, and was completely oblivious about it. You could walk into a room with him, introduce yourself and start a conversation with him, but after a while if you asked him how the conversation started he wouldn't know, you'd then walk out of the room, wait a couple of seconds, walk in a again and he'd have no recollection of what just happened. This suggests a mighty weapon for theoretical aliens. Now, humans can't point and say "This is the memory part of the human brain", my dad said you'd have the noble price on a platter if you could, but if aliens could, and could temporarily shut down that part of the brain they could come and go as they please in Anyones life, awake or not, and the person in question would be none the wiser after the experience. Basically what 'The case of N' shows is that we 'could' be taken any time we're alone, awake or not, be returned and as the effects of a theoretical memory erasing device slowly wears off we'd be none the wiser. Pretty scary, and striking.

Yarcofin> I think I've covered this pretty well by now with this post. This must've happened after the actual abduction and as I said yesterday I must've simply typed it into my firefox google search bar before I lost all memories of the event. About the missing time though. If we assume that they can tinker with our memory there's actually no way of determing if we have any missing time unless you've been out for a long time and missed some event we'd planned going to or something like that. They would simply be able to flick our memory to 'off', do their stuff and go, and we'd just go about with our lives unaffected.

I'd say to take the suggetion of following the searched links in case you are meant to read something, it may even jog your memory

I wouldn't rule out the possiblity that a family member made these searches. Not as a prank, but maybe they have an intersst in the topic themselves, but you just don't know it.

Again, thanks for the suggestion but when I do those searches pure nonsense comes back. Also, this is my computer and I'm the only one that uses it I'm afriad. Sure, there's always the possibility that someone else could've made those searches, but I'll just put that in the same folder as the possibility that I simply don't remember doing the searches for completely natural reasons. Also you said "Even if it is true that aliens abduct, I am not so sure they block your memories. The person probably does that to themselves...". I'm fairly open about most everything in this world and I am a man in the sence that I'm not afraid of the unknown. We (humans) are learning just now the complex nature of the human mind and how to control certain elements of it and we haven't gotten a long way on the road to understanding what memory is, as is my perception. If we can assume such 'ridiculous' things as aliens visiting us we can also assume they know a heck of a lot more about our physiology than we do. Just saying this isn't something I've repressed.

Briggs> It's not only that I can't remember the searches, it's the nature of the searches wich makes this discussable that's all. I have told my self that I should leave marks for me to find later on if that's possible, as that's the smart thing to do if you know you're being abducted, and this was something I'd recently though of, so it was fresh in my mind. And I'm not upset, not any more anyways.

ND124> It's possible, and actually most probably if you think about it. But as I explained I'm as much of a believer in this as you are, I'm just keeping my mind on edge, and yours.

Once agian, I'm simply theorizing about this, it's good workout. Sorry about the lengthy post, but I had a good time and I hope I boggled a few minds out there.

ND124> Also I think you answered your own question. It doens't take a scientist to figure out that if you put the human mind in a state of abnormality some things are bound to go wrong, wich you showed. I'm interested in what I Can remember, and not what memories I'm capable of creating.

[edit on 17-2-2006 by Drexon]

You know, as you think you've previously witnessed a UFO it could be Men In Black or government agents paying your house a visit and typing on your computer while you're away! Actually, I'm only half joking. Years ago there were a number of sightings near where I live and one of the people who was instrumental in getting the word out (he was a reporter for a local radio station) had his house broken into, strange phone calls, and visits from what could best be described as MIB. Still, my guess is there is a rational explanation for it though I wouldn't competely rule out an odd one. I'm curious, have you experienced any sort of strange paranormal type activity since your ufo sighting or is this the only strange thing that has since happened? I mean no offense but without knowing you it's hard for me to discern if you have an overactive imagination or....I haven't yet read about your ufo sighting and need to look it up. You SOUND pretty level headed by the way which is a very good thing. Anyway, if anything weird happens in the future I would be very interested in hearing about it as I'm sure most of the board would.

Ok drex
from personal experience, I would say that you would have "something" to remember... but not of an alien abduction...

in other words... if you were abducted... you would probably have a false memory that would help rationalize what you experienced...
You would think you had fainted or some such...

Why i say this is because In my situation... I saw a UFO... but was convinced it was a streetlight for awhile... in the middle of the desert...
it took awhile for those facts to sink in, and when they did...I remembered all the way up to seeing it, and thinking "how wierd" a UFO... and then the "idiot beam" (as i call it) hit me, and convinced me that it was just a streetlight...
I have no idea what happened next, but I had about a half hour of missing time (approx)...
did I get sucked up? who knows... but i saw those buggers... and can remember it now, due to the "false memory" not being good enough...

My question is this... have you confirmed that your dad did ask you to google something? or could that be part of your "false memory" courtesy of the aliens....

Yes, that did happen. That was actually a pretty useless piece of information as it's only the story of how I stumbled apon these searches. The situation forced me to look through my google searches and there I found inconsistencies. I'm following your 'idiot beam' theory though. I'm working under the assumption that they do this a lot and because of that must have a bullet proof system that works that they can use over and over again. I have to say it's kinda hard to get a grip on this 'false memory' and the difference between it and the 'idiot beam', would you mind clearifying? My guess is that a false memory appears when you get hit by the 'idiot beam', is that right? Anyways, they might have several beams for different purposes, my 'flick memory switch to off' beam for abduction/investigatory reasons and your 'make potential whistleblower into numbnut' beam. It's all within the realm of keeping them safe and us oblivious.