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Ladies Don't Fart!

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posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 06:56 AM
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reply to post by OpinionatedB
 


PFFT, forget all that noise, you let one rip, I'm gonna say something!!!! LOL




posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 07:08 AM
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reply to post by HomerinNC
 


And this is what separates the men from the boys...

Something about two year olds just don't turn me on.... but a man... mmmmm... much different story there
edit on 27-2-2014 by OpinionatedB because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 07:14 AM
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while on holiday in london i went on the london eye when i turned round as we moved off there was 4-5 well dressed older ladies with their husbands and when i say well dressed i kid you not those people had lots of money and the manners that go with it .

problem was after 5 minutes i needed the toilet BAD i held it in as long as humanly possible but let a little fart ecape thinking it would be ok

imagine the smell of the worst nappy you have ever smelled x2 the type of smell that sticks to you and even you think you crapped yourself i wish i could have melted out of there as the faces of those folk said it all it was a interesting 15 or so minutes after that

edit on 27-2-2014 by 999zxcv because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 08:57 AM
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Here's a little country ditty that seems appropriate for this thread.




posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 12:00 PM
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999zxcv
while on holiday in london i went on the london eye when i turned round as we moved off there was 4-5 well dressed older ladies with their husbands and when i say well dressed i kid you not those people had lots of money and the manners that go with it .

problem was after 5 minutes i needed the toilet BAD i held it in as long as humanly possible but let a little fart ecape thinking it would be ok

imagine the smell of the worst nappy you have ever smelled x2 the type of smell that sticks to you and even you think you crapped yourself i wish i could have melted out of there as the faces of those folk said it all it was a interesting 15 or so minutes after that

edit on 27-2-2014 by 999zxcv because: (no reason given)


You know you have to "cut it off," right?

As you move over a few feet, make your hand rigid, like a karate hand, and swipe it past your behind without touching your clothes. If you fail to do this, the flatulence will just follow you like a 20-foot-long tail.

Seriously. You can cut it off with a door, but if you were to walk through the same doorway without cutting you off, it would follow you all the way home!



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 12:15 PM
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i enjoyed this, good read.



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 12:44 PM
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reply to post by Jarring
 


Glad you liked it.
nothing beats a little adolescent humor to take your mind off all the gloom and doom out there.
Maybe Obama would loosen up if someone gave him a whoopee cushion?



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 12:59 PM
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reply to post by HardCorps
 


wouldn't want to imagine his skeletons



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 01:53 PM
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Remembered this one from years ago.



Bad as it is ~ you cant help but laugh
edit on 27-2-2014 by MrLimpet because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 02:54 PM
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reply to post by HardCorps
 


When I saw this title I just had to read and report what I saw yesterday at a long stoplight. I watched as a lady leaned to one side and I presumed let a big bomber because shortly after that I watched as she sprayed Febreze air freshener in the air and then on her self being sure to aim toward the nether areas.

I was laughing so hard I couldn't look her direction until after the light changed. The question I was left with was is this a regular event that requires a can of Febreze be in the car at all times or was this just a lucky coincidence where she had just been shopping and had a lucky can available?



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 07:24 PM
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reply to post by HardCorps
 


This must explain my delema right after I got married, my lovely wife would say excuse me at the drop of a hat for anything until I started to ask her if she had farted and that was the reason for the excuse me statement. That did not go over to well to say the least. Then she began to drop the politeness and stoped saying excuse me altogether. I asked her why she stopped and her comment was "why so you can ask if I FARTED"?



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 10:13 PM
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reply to post by HardCorps
 


Queaf? Quief? Qu... ah screw it! FART!



posted on Feb, 28 2014 @ 12:15 PM
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*poot*



posted on Feb, 28 2014 @ 10:32 PM
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In the world of "who's farts smell the worst"

Women take the cake.
(or bean pie in this case)



If you ever see a room clear like there was a fire, but there is no fire.........guess what just happened?





posted on Mar, 1 2014 @ 05:20 AM
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Yes they do, they are just dainty farts.



posted on Mar, 1 2014 @ 10:36 AM
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jude11
Mom used to say:

"Ladies don't fart...they fluff."

But then there's my wife...



Peace


I want to marry a woman who farts freely. Wow, that sounds bad -
edit on 01amSat, 01 Mar 2014 10:38:15 -0600kbamkAmerica/Chicago by darkbake because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 1 2014 @ 12:19 PM
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No, women don't fart. We do occasionally carry a pocket full of "barking spiders" or have to explain to others how "the moose are out early this year" but no, we don't fart. And just for the record, we don't sweat either; we glisten.



posted on Mar, 1 2014 @ 04:39 PM
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oh yes they do!!!!! hahahaha..farting is natural and if my guy has a problem with that its a deal breaker...so yeah when your going out with someone and you break the "fart barrier" its great....if you have to hold in your farts in a long term relationship that would suck!



posted on Mar, 2 2014 @ 12:17 AM
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reply to post by miss_sky
 


once you break the fart barrier, you know its gonna be a long term thing





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