It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Ladies Don't Fart!

page: 2
25
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 06:01 PM
link   
reply to post by HomerinNC
 


ugh... my world is collapsing around me...





posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 06:02 PM
link   
reply to post by Akragon
 


The first video is okay, but I think im gonna get dinged for the second one, i think im gonna take it down...



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 06:28 PM
link   

HomerinNC
reply to post by Akragon
 




omg.
Those videos. All of them. They're lies. Just lies. It wasn't us.
It's a conspiracy.



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 09:45 PM
link   
Hahahahahahaha! Just the other day I was out shopping and really had to fart. I found and isle that no one was in and let loose and quickly proceeded to the next isle to get away before getting caught. OMG I could still smell it so hurried up to yet another isle. Hahahaha I couldn't get away from myself. That's what you get when you eat beans!



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 09:47 PM
link   
To add...

Women don't poop either



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 09:49 PM
link   
reply to post by HardCorps
 


I was told once by a gay guy that he never farts, he poofs! I didn't know if that was his polite way of saying he farted, or if that was the sound it made when it came out of him.



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 09:56 PM
link   
reply to post by rjbaggins
 


"passing" of gas is farting, so yes, he farted. He knows he did so, yeah

ETA: you're not funny
edit on 24-2-2014 by kimish because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 10:16 PM
link   
Ladies should not, nor should gentlemen. Get up and use the bathroom. Where has the consideration for others gone? Its a natter of being couth .



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 11:42 PM
link   
reply to post by HomerinNC
 


Some wet ones there!



posted on Feb, 24 2014 @ 11:45 PM
link   
reply to post by StarlightNine
 


Ladies do not fart. It is a lie from the government. Obama started it in Africa or Hawaii wherever the heck he was born. Lies i tell ya!

edit on 24-2-2014 by Kimberling234 because: Cause i spelled hawaii wrong dumbo!



posted on Feb, 25 2014 @ 12:23 AM
link   
When this incident occurs in my house I just look at my husband like he is crazy and say "I have no idea what you are talking about. "



posted on Feb, 25 2014 @ 12:29 AM
link   
reply to post by Night Star
 


This post reminded me of something my husband did to me. We were at Walmart in the garden center and I was shopping for christmas supplies. He walks up to me, asks a question about some things we needed, and apparently farted. My 6 yr old sons says VERY loudly "gosh mommy, couldn't you hold it? That really stinks!" The old man a few feet down the isle wasn't pleased with the smell and huffed at me as he passed. I was mortified!



posted on Feb, 25 2014 @ 01:04 AM
link   

blivey
reply to post by Night Star
 


This post reminded me of something my husband did to me. We were at Walmart in the garden center and I was shopping for christmas supplies. He walks up to me, asks a question about some things we needed, and apparently farted. My 6 yr old sons says VERY loudly "gosh mommy, couldn't you hold it? That really stinks!" The old man a few feet down the isle wasn't pleased with the smell and huffed at me as he passed. I was mortified!


LMAO, I'd get my son to do that to his mom for me all the time!!!
The other thing I taught him was to walk up to mom, lean on her, cut one and run off!!!



posted on Feb, 25 2014 @ 01:05 AM
link   

Night Star
Hahahahahahaha! Just the other day I was out shopping and really had to fart. I found and isle that no one was in and let loose and quickly proceeded to the next isle to get away before getting caught. OMG I could still smell it so hurried up to yet another isle. Hahahaha I couldn't get away from myself. That's what you get when you eat beans!


I remember living in florida, was in a Big Dogs store, was with my gf @ the time, had to fart real bad, went to the back of the store, cut one and walked out, the aroma TRAILED after me LOL
Needless to say, she was mortified LOL


edit on 2/25/2014 by HomerinNC because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 25 2014 @ 10:55 AM
link   
Not to 'TOOT' my own horn but
judging by the replies I can really feel the love---

Still I don't get it... Farts happen what's the big deal ladies?
Unless said fart, has a surprise lump in it... now that would be embarrassing...



posted on Feb, 25 2014 @ 12:47 PM
link   

HardCorps
Not to 'TOOT' my own horn but
judging by the replies I can really feel the love---

Still I don't get it... Farts happen what's the big deal ladies?
Unless said fart, has a surprise lump in it... now that would be embarrassing...


Dude, you KNEW this was gonna start going downhill the moment you WROTE IT!!!!



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 01:13 AM
link   
Heck yeah they do. And they can have some nasty-a$$ed smelly ones too, I'll tell you what.



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 01:44 AM
link   
Ladies and gentlemen, do, of a time, break wind.

When in need, they most assuredly do NOT:

-lift a leg to accentuate the timbre, volume or pitch

-Ensnare others into listening for the incipient breakage by saying, "ssshh, SHHH! Do you hear something?...."

-Dupe their companions into being olfactorially assaulted by gravely intoning, "what IS that gawdawful smell?" just as they are about to poot.

-under any circumstances call attention to a companion's temporary loss of decorum, knowing that "the smeller's the feller."


A gentleman will always help a lady by finding a plausible explanation:

- "These chairs certainly do squeak"

- "It's a bit hot/cold in here" (then going to open a door or turn on a fan).

-glaring balefully at any dog, cat or baby in the vicinity.

-getting up to take out the garbage.



The only circumstance a gentleman would ever acknowledge that a lady has broken wind, is when he finds himself in the happy circumstance of being himself distended by gas as well. IF he can do so within five seconds of her eruction, he may, if he so chooses, tweet a refrain or a coda; but he must immediately thereupon state, "me neither," and go back to doing whatever had occupied his attention before the interlude occurred.



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 03:49 AM
link   
reply to post by HardCorps
 


for an anecdote that's supposed to be funny, the hiroshima reference is in bad taste..

just saying..



posted on Feb, 27 2014 @ 06:48 AM
link   

tovenar
Ladies and gentlemen, do, of a time, break wind.


A gentleman will always help a lady by finding a plausible explanation:

- "These chairs certainly do squeak"

- "It's a bit hot/cold in here" (then going to open a door or turn on a fan).

-glaring balefully at any dog, cat or baby in the vicinity.

-getting up to take out the garbage.



That's my husband, the true gentleman... but he is a bit hickish therefore he does occasionally make the "there are some angry critters here!" comment.

Men, take note of the quoted post, in order to learn what gentleman do in such dire circumstance...



edit on 27-2-2014 by OpinionatedB because: (no reason given)



new topics

top topics



 
25
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join