This is not claiming to be the one millionth thread on ATS.
But I’m alerting members to the rapid approach of the one millionth thread, or rather the thread numbered “one million”.
(I put it like that in case somebody points out that the very first thread was numbered “1001” or something equally boring)
I noticed what was coming, because I do crosslinking between my own threads.
And thus- More crosslinking
Which makes me very conscious of rising thread numbers.
I’ve just put up a thread which was numbered –998949
Since the use of new thread numbers is currently running at more than a thousand a week, the thread numbered “one million” must be arriving in the
next few days.
No doubt the software is already geared up for coping with seven digit thread numbers.
The rest of us will just have to be more careful when proof-reading misdirected links.
The really interesting question is this;
Whose thread will it be?
And which among the many themes of ATS will provide the content of that thread “one million”?
(Yes, I know, that’s two questions)
I’ve been inspecting the hard drives of some of the more eminent members of ATS (you think I’m joking, don’t you?), and can report that at least
a dozen hot threads are already set up and ready to go to claim that coveted prize.
“HAARP controlling spread of Chinese flu.”
“First Irish Pope; next job lined up for O’Bama?”
“My middle wife a quadrisexual from Orion- need marriage counselling.”
“Can we have a Tiddlywinks forum?”
“Long-time lurker, with ingenious UFO theory masquerading as Intro thread.”
“Why are there so many religion and theology threads in the religion and theology forum? “
“British survivalist needs help finding huge, untamed wilderness close to Manchester.”
“404’d again? What happened to “marriage counselling” thread?”
“The elite’s nefarious plan is to trick us into believing they’ve got a nefarious plan.”
“The world with two suns; Youtube IS the alternate universe.”
“Muslim who thinks he understands the New Testament; ask me anything.”
“I can’t believe my wife is leaving me; must be a false flag.”
and many, many more.
But with all this probable competition, what tactics would they need to adopt to get their own thread in the right place?
The simple approach would be to wait for thread “999,999” to appear, and then make their move.
It would have to be a real “pounce”, though, like Brenda banging down the button at “Fame and Fortune” (only fans of “Dinnerladies” will
get that reference).
In any case, the right page for detecting the thread number of a new thread is not the right page for posting a new one, so it all gets very
On the other hand, you don’t want to move too soon, because then you’ll just be providing the “99” for somebody else to follow up.
So when thread numbers get into the “nervous nineties”, the appearance of new threads might begin to slow down.
It could be like the last kilometres of a stage in the Tour de France, with Sean Kelly saying “All the big favourites are looking at each other now-
they’re all playing the waiting game”.
Yet all this effort could end in anti-climax.
We might find all the favourites falling or stumbling as they try to jump the last fence (I’ve switched channels to a different sport), and the
little-known Foinavon galloping away to the winning post.
That is, the number might be taken up accidentally by someone quite unconscious of the exciting moment.
Or if the number “one million” is taken up by an “Alert” message, we won’t be allowed to see it anyway.
What’s the betting that when thread “999,999” appears, ATS will suddenly and mysteriously go offline?
When it re-emerges, thirty seconds later, the next thread will be up under Springer’s name, and will carry the title “Congratulations ATS;
you’re all millionaires”.
edit on 21-2-2014 by DISRAELI because: (no reason given)