reply to post by sstark
OP,I do believe there is no reason to be worried. Has it ever occurred to you that the "slights" you recieve and interpret are exactly what you feel
they are and that your reactions are legitimate and are signals that you are growing as an individual?
It may not be comfortable to consider that you could be exposing yourself to people that dont fit your evolving perspective,people do change,and when
we change as individuals there is a natural lag-time between the action and the awareness of the action,in other words we dont always see ourselves
evolving on a personal level in a mirror in real time,it is the consequences of our decisions and the cognizant realisation of those impacts on
those around us which show us our progress.
Is it wrong to have a bad reaction when you consume something toxic,or if you rub against poison Ivy is it wrong to break out in a rash?If you
encounter people who assault your integrity be it intentionally or unintentionally then is it wrong to have a reaction to that slight,causality aside
the way you are feeling it is valid and justifies a reaction,dont be so hard on yourself you are human.Maybe things that didnt evoke strong reactions
a year or a month or a day or even an hour ago will do that in your present moment,but remember that we are constantly learning and we are also
constantly incorporating new data into ourselves,you may also simply notice things you didnt pay attention to in the past because of inner growth, for
example maybe you didnt have an awareness of a specific current issue in the world but an hour ago you learned that this issue existed and it impacted
you strongly,say you watched a documentary about an unusually high suicide rate within a small special interest group to which you normally do not pay
attention to and this new data causes you to form an opinion on the issue that is NEW to you,if you encounter the topic with old friends and people
who only are aware of your "past" considerations of the issue they may clash with your "newfound" perspective,no one is wrong in this
situation,you have simply grown as an individual and are suffering growing pains,this is how we leave the past behind and forge new future
perspectives for ourselves,it is always hard to leave old habits,ideas,and friends behind,but this is life.
The best safeguard you can utilise is to verbally release your emotions using a set phrase you decide fits you,for example get yourself a small
business sized card and write down the phrase you choose for yourself, eg. "I am not sure if you meant to evoke a strong emotional reaction from me
with the comment you just made or if it was even directed at me,but I have in fact just felt a strong reaction to what you just said or did,could you
please repeat that comment if it wasnt intended to evoke a strong emotional reaction from me so I may have a chance to reinterpret it,my relationship
with you is important and I want to be sure we are on the same page." That statement may be a bit long or it may not be your personal choice of
words,but clarification is key here,if after you ask for and recieve clarification and your emotions are still the same and at the same level them
TRUST YOURSELF and make an immediate geographical relocation be it to the other side of the room or to the restroom or across the street or for that
matter across town,but dont allow yourself to be made to react emotionally and assume there is something wrong with your perspective.
Being loud and emotional is normal, if you find yourself having negative thoughts that include harm to others beyond the verbal reactions you are
experiencing then you need to talk to a professional counsellor or a doctor because these are not normal reactions to be having.I do not think there
is anything wrong with being loud and passionate when you feel that way and this includes shouting or yelling,I do it all the time when I am happy so
why shouldnt I do it if I am unhappy? As long as there are no harmfull thoughts towards others forming in your mind in those moments that you may
unintentionall or intentionally act upon then I would consider these verbal passionate reactions to be normal,wherever you happen to be.If you find
that you are restricted by your environment from being yourself consider a change of environment before you consider suppressing yourself and your
passion and right to express your emotions verbally.Some people work and live in environments which require them to be constantly controlled and
suppressed 24/7 and they develop health problems and life problems simply because the environment no longer fits their perspective and personal needs
to express themselves fully and completey.If you work in an office and find you need to be vocal and passionate regularly and it doesnt fit that
environment then simply consider seeking out one that fits you and your needs better,look into jobs that allow you to be boisterous and loud and vocal
and passionate,there are environments that fit all of us if we know where and when to seek them out.Working on a construction site for example will
allow you different status qou parameters than an office will,these are just a few example but there are thousands and thousands of environments you
can choose to live your life within.
Dont be afraid to grow and learn about the new you.Our world is a wild and woolly and wonderfull place and there is room for everyones perspective and
also room for everyone to grow provided of course there are no thoughts of aggression or violence happening in those moments and if there are then
seek out professional assistance to deal with them immediatly.