No Love This Valentine's Day

reply to post by Night Star


As someone who is separated, I know where you are at. And these holidays, no matter how artificial, rub salt into the wound. Not just one of them, but sometimes all of them.

But I have reached a point where I am kinda happy being by myself and the thought of having to give valuable alone time to somebody makes me cringe.

I am dangerously close to becoming a crazy old cat lady. LOLOL



"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~Helen Keller

iRoyalty
reply to post by Night Star

 

I throw an anti-valentines party every year.

So anyone who doesn't have plans can come to a party, and not have to partake in the depressing side of being single on valentines day.

Awesome! Perhaps this year you could join us at this thread where a lot of us have no personal Valentine.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

chiefsmom
Oh hon, I'm sorry your alone, and here's a **HUG**

But I'm married, and still don't buy into this "Hallmark" holiday. I won't be doing anything different, and my hubby knows he better not either.

Because when it comes right down to it, just telling your friends and family, EVERY day, how much you love them is the only thing that matters.

I hope for all you singles out there, the day flies by, and that you find a special someone very soon! (only if you want one!

)

Thank you so much Sweetie! I am happy that you have a husband still to share your life with. Have a lovely day!!

MoonBlossom
reply to post by Night Star

 

Hi Night Star, I don't really follow the Valentine's protocol per se. Around here we feel that every day should be the expression of love that Valentine's Day is, and random flowers/treats make me FAR happier than my loved one feeling dutiful on a prescribed day. And THIS coming from a true romantic at heart!! lol
Not into the commercialism aspect at all though.

I am sorry that your beautiful memories have transpired into pain; I cannot imagine how deeply that must hurt, and also for those whose loves have passed on as well.

Knowing that one day we will all be a lover passed on, or the one left behind, is hard to bear; but it is a truth we must reconcile. Even those with partners today, they too have had their share of Valentine's Days spent alone.

As for

How do you burry emotions of a lifetime spent with someone who no longer loves you back?

My only answer to that is I'm not sure you can altogether, but know that pain fades in time. Try to love yourself like never before, and love those around you who reflect that love back, be it friends, family, or beloved pets. Treat yourself today and any day you see fit, and with kindness.

Sending peace and courage to you, and love and HUGS too (and for all who visit here)!

"Take heart, my friends! You are worth more than you can conceive, and you are worthy of love. You are worthy of love simply because you exist – you are a creation of Love Itself!"

Very beautiful!!!! Thank you for your encouragement, wisdom and compassion. Hugs!!

blueyezblkdragon
Well I don't know about you, but all my pain and stress just gave me something to set my sight's on.

Those I loved and held close were brilliant and I trusted them, but they lied to me, twisted, tortured and manipulated me till I was left as nothing more than a shadow of who I was.
I don't have a problem with valentines day it's only when I look around on days like this and have it shoved in my face all day long. That's what annoys me.

I can really relate about feeling like a shadow of who you once were!!! That's exactly how I feel. I used to always be able to pick myself back up again, but I think after having so much happen in my life and for so long, I just can't seem to get back up again. I guess the best we can do is try.

luciddream
This is my way of coping with the corporate holiday.

Hope it lessen the loneliness!

LOL thanks for making me chuckle!

Night Star

Awesome! Perhaps this year you could join us at this thread where a lot of us have no personal Valentine.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I would love to, but I throw this party for others! I don't think I've been alone on valentines before for about 6 years today being an exception though since she lives in a different city because of uni!

I just don't join in for the festivities of Valentines, I'll buy her some flowers and leave it at that, what more is needed?

nixie_nox
reply to post by Night Star

 

As someone who is separated, I know where you are at. And these holidays, no matter how artificial, rub salt into the wound. Not just one of them, but sometimes all of them.

But I have reached a point where I am kinda happy being by myself and the thought of having to give valuable alone time to somebody makes me cringe.

I am dangerously close to becoming a crazy old cat lady. LOLOL



"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~Helen Keller

Crazy cat lady...LOL I could easily become one of those! Actually I wish I could get a kitty right now but there is too much up in the air right now. Your cats will give you many years of unconditional love and joy.

iRoyalty

Night Star

Awesome! Perhaps this year you could join us at this thread where a lot of us have no personal Valentine.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I would love to, but I throw this party for others! I don't think I've been alone on valentines before for about 6 years

today being an exception though since she lives in a different city because of uni!

I just don't join in for the festivities of Valentines, I'll buy her some flowers and leave it at that, what more is needed?

edit on 14-2-2014 by iRoyalty because: (no reason given)

Awwwww, I'm happy to hear that you at least have someone special in your life this year. Flowers are just perfect.

Night Star

Crazy cat lady...LOL I could easily become one of those! Actually I wish I could get a kitty right now but there is too much up in the air right now. Your cats will give you many years of unconditional love and joy.

I had to live a year and a half without kitties. I lost mine during the separation. I felt so lost not having them. They are lifesavers now. I hope you get some kitties back in your life soon.

reply to post by Night Star


Night Star you seem such a wonderful person filled with love and compassion for others. Someone like you will never be alone. And I'm sure one day you will feel love again

reply to post by Night Star


Be thankful for masturbation!
There are worse things than being alone.

reply to post by Night Star


Well if we wake up everyday and try to make things better, we'll find that things will eventually be good enough.

reply to post by Night Star


Sweet and I'm sorry for everyone with a blackened, yet hopeful, heart, on this, the cruelest of days. I wish you all the best but offer this tale to show it isn't great for everyone else all the time, either.

My first real Valentine's Day after I had my first "real" romance in high school set the stage for all those to come. It was memorably bad.

My GF was in a mental ward because her Mom thought she was being disrespectful, and so made up a tale that my GF, her daughter, was suicidal and thus had her institutionalized. Really. Sounds like a Punk song, but really happened. Her Mom was something. The mom also threatened me with statutory rape as I was 17 and the daughter was 15... another story.

So I visited my GF there, on Valentine's Day, and I gave her gifts and we kissed and made plans for when she was free of state control, and I finally tearfully left her as visiting hours were over (and I'd been kicked out before for sneaking in and they were onto me).

I was then talked into driving four of my friends and their dates to a local fair as I was the only one with a car.

Once there, I was a third wheel with no sweetie and was feeling mildly sorry for myself as Valentine's Day was being promoted everywhere and the pink hearts were getting to me.

I was worrying about my GF really getting suicidal, stuck by herself in a mental ward, and I then find out that my best friend is off trying to break her, my GF, out and is planning to run off with her because he has a raging crush on her (well, she was pretty cute). He even had his passport ready and enough money to get her one.

I hear this at the start of a ride, and am then vomited upon, several times, while on a loop ride. I had my mouth open in a whoop when the first wave drenched me. I remember bits of corn dog

Then I had to wait for my friends to straggle back to my car, 'cause I promised them a ride, worried about this weird betrayal by my best friend and possibly by my GF, alone, wet and stinking of vomit for nearly two hours.

It got worse that night and I lost my best friend after a heated confrontation. My GF was p-o'd I didn't do anything as romantic as attempting to break her out and I went home to shower the vomit off.

I should have seen it for the sign it was... and also, when I next went to visit my young vixen she was head in lap of her old, yet current, BF.

Love is vexing...

I was glad last year, that a box of chocolates could be purchased with food stamps. . Good Luck next year lonely valentines.

reply to post by Night Star


An internet hug for you.

FissionSurplus
Sometimes the only way to dull the hurt is to give the love you have to somebody who needs it....badly. Which is exactly what you did with your post. Thank you.

Do something nice for yourself today. A little chocolate, a nice meal, and a funny movie perhaps.

I don't always agree with Fission, but I think this is worth posting again.

For today (or tonight rather), do something special that you don't normally get to do; something for yourself. I've known today as Single's Awareness Day as far back as I can remember, and if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one in a less-than-happy mood. And remember, this day only comes once a year, so at least tomorrow should be better, right?

-fossilera

Here is my reason why there is no love based on my experience:

Women/girls are apathetic driven creatures who view men/boys as objects. That is the specific reason why they will leave you for someone else - they believe that they deserve anything they want and males deserve nothing. They believe that they run the world.

So even letting the female gender be so independent and come up in society as they have during the last 30 years is going to come back to haunt all men of earth - they will take over the world and enslave men. Hahaha

Point being - there is no love from a woman. That is the answer. It is all fake nonsense stemming from EgOiSm.

Night Star
I used to love Valentines Day, the candlelit dinner, flowers on the table, heart shaped chocklates and a card expressing how deeply I would be loved forever. Now all I have are the memories of a sweeter time, years and years of precious memories that now bring sorrow and pain.

I know I'm not alone. I know a lot of you are hurting like I am, wondering when the tears will end, when the hurt won't be as bad. How do you burry emotions of a lifetime spent with someone who no longer loves you back?

Hi Night Star..........This is your ex-husband. Do you still love me? If you do, please find a way to get through this. I may not love you like I used to, but it hurts to see you this way. There's one thing that is worse than a woman hanging on to a man letting go........and that is when you are that man.

Do you remember all the good times we had? The laughing, the arguing, the making up and everything else that helps a man and woman grow together? I do. I remember everything. Please Night Star, don't leave a cloud over it all by remembering all of that with sadness because it's gone. I remember everything and I'm glad that we found each other and were able to go through all of that. It makes me feel fortunate that I found a woman like you. But this is where we start to see things differently now.

You look back on everything and still feel everything that we felt for all those years. I look back on everything and I don't feel that anymore. I used to, and when I did it felt comforting. When I look back now at the love that was there, I feel hollow. It just isn't anymore and I'm sorry. But mostly I'm sorry because I can't really tell you how it happened or when. I know it was many years ago, but I can't really pinpoint it. I'm sorry that I can't give you the closure that a full explanation gives a person, but I don't have that either. What it leaves me is the realization that sometimes life isn't scripted. Sometimes things happen that aren't designed the way we planned our lives out to be. It hurts, I'm with you there, but there's nothing you can do to change it.

Whatever happened to me, it happened slowly and without warning. For a few years I was living with that change and you at the same time. I would see in your eyes the love that you still felt for me. I acted the same way because I didn't want to see you hurt. It dawned on me though that what i was doing to you was worse than hurting you. I was letting you think that I still felt the way you did. Not only was I living a lie, but I was dragging you into it as well without you even realizing it. That's just wrong Night Star, I hope you can see that.

But please, with this cloud hanging over you like this and me seeing a woman I used to love not getting on with her life, it makes it hard for me to do the same. They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. They also say that heaven has a star devoted to those who find comfort after the hurt. That star is called grace and it's what helps you move.........with grace.

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I'm obviously not your ex-husband Night Star and I don't know your story, but if he has any feelings left in him at all, he's probably thinking along those lines.

Take care hon.

reply to post by Baddogma


Huh I was in a similar situation for a while, overprotective parent's, mental problems etc. She followed through with the suicide though.
I was in high school during that, it messed me up for a while. Had I done a few thing's different she may still be here. I don't want to go through my story, it's best left in a safe, wrapped in chain's, dumped in concrete and fired into the sun.

But that's enough with the ghosts of my past.