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"We have met the enemy and he is us"

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posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:28 PM

Traces of nobility, gentleness and courage persist in all people, do what we will to stamp out the trend. So, too, do those characteristics which are ugly. It is just unfortunate that in the clumsy hands of a cartoonist all traits become ridiculous, leading to a certain amount of self-conscious expostulation and the desire to join battle. There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blasts on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us. Forward! ”

Walt Kelly

Kelly had it right in that the very thing we may meet in battle is ourselves - and we may well be defeated by it.

Seriously, my family is going to die if the SHTF because we'll kill each other. LoL!

If we survive the initial stages, we'll still end up dead because we can't agree on anything and/or some of us can't or, worse, won't follow instructions or some may have their own agendas.

We can prep and plan and practice for every eventuality but it may not overcome personalities, petty bickering and personal foibles.

Backstory: I live in the Atlanta area and we got slammed with round two of ice and snow, which ATL is never really good at dealing with. The last episode of this was two weeks ago. The city was absolutely unprepared and, indeed, paralyzed by the whole thing. Traffic was gridlocked and people were trapped in their cars on icy roads for 12 to 24 hours. Eventually many just abandoned their vehicles and walked many miles home. In fact, the GA National Guard had to be called in to rescue hundreds of school kids from buses that were unable to move on the roads.

So, fast forward to the past few days with this latest event which was expected to be far worse. In fact, weather forecasters were calling this ice event "catastrophic". Widespread and longterm power outages were expected. Stores were slammed and supplies of just about everything were running out. Gas stations were also running out of gas.

As a native of South Louisiana I experienced the chaos after hurricane Andrew and had immediate family and friends deeply impacted by hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Gustav. Another family member had his house condemned after Ivan in Florida.

So, I totally get that preparations can't just be about getting ready for an event but also being prepared for the aftermath..goal, game plan, organization, resource management, etc. Plan A, Plan B, Plan C.

My goal was to be as self-sufficient as possible for a week without power. The plan was to get the supplies needed and do the preps for just that. That meant trips to various stores, staying on top of the laundry and house chores to make sure we had clothes, etc., making sure they didn't eat all the food in one day, LoL! It should NOT have been a big deal or hard whatsoever.

And, sadly this is where the family issues come into play. You would have thought I was asking them to save the world or something. For instance, preteen was designated to make sure all the flashlights were located in the proper/handy places and that they had working batteries - still wasn't done a day later. Had to implore and beg the hubby to leave work on time so he wouldn't get caught on icy roads like the thousands of other Atlantans a few weeks ago.

These are just a couple of the dozen or so little battles that we waged over essentially what amounts to a blip on the radar in the big scheme of things.

Sure, a lot of the stuff we bickered about I could have easily done myself, I did most of the prep as it was. But, I really just wanted to see what they were willing to do to make it all go smoothly. Answer: not much.

I ended up exhausted by worrying about everything myself and running around doing everything myself and totally frustrated/disgusted by the "ho-hum" of their attitudes.

Yeah, I get it was just an extreme weather event, not the Apocalypse, LoL! But...what if the situation was seriously dire - life threatening? Could we pull together? I really don't know.

So what the heck can I do to get my family on board with being more cohesive and cooperative? Does anyone have any advice on how to motivate others to want to actively participate in their own safety and well-being? I realize it seems like a stupid question but, sadly, it's reality.
edit on 2/13/2014 by kosmicjack because: (no reason given)

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:35 PM
reply to post by kosmicjack

Could it be that your family knew that you would do everything for them?

Next time let them see you providing for just yourself.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:39 PM
Was all your preperation warrented?
If not, could your family members have known this in advance?

I ask because there's been a few occasions where I've tried to motivate family and failed, and its usaly because they dont believe the worst will happen, not because they cant be bothered.

Just wondering

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:41 PM
reply to post by Witness2008

Well, definitely they know I will manage things. It's my nature and my trade. But, it seems to me they have a vested interest as well in making sure we are safe, etc. Logically I guess I could just fend for myself but, practically, emotionally, as a Mom..of course I can't just leave it at that.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:44 PM
reply to post by kosmicjack

I dont know Kosmic, same issues with my family.

I take the faith based approach. Let go of the material world and if the universe wants you to survive and or any of your family you will have to take the synchromystic approach to seeing its guidance in its actions.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:47 PM
reply to post by VoidHawk

LOL! Well, definitely my husband is an eternal optimist, he never thinks things will go badly. My kid, well, he practically needs a boot to the rear to do just about anything that doesn't involve his buddies or his hobbies.

I would have thought with all of the local news coverage of the chaos in Atlanta a few weeks ago that they would have been somewhat tuned into the urgency of the situation...forecasters were framing it in very serious terms. Hundreds of utility trucks were cued up, ready to remove downed trees and get the power restored after what they thought would be anywhere from a half inch to and inch and a half of ice.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:48 PM

So what the heck can I do to get my family on board with being more cohesive and cooperative? Does anyone have any advice on how to motivate others to want to actively participate in their own safety and well-being? I realize it seems like a stupid question but, sadly, it's reality.

In a word blackmail them.

When they want something from you don't do it.

1 way 'relationships' never work. Family is the most difficult of them all.

They want something from you they need to give you something in return.

And if that doesn't work.

The fear of God usually is the final motivator.

When it is all on the line. People change their tunes rather quickly. When they find out there is no other choices.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:51 PM

reply to post by VoidHawk

LOL! Well, definitely my husband is an eternal optimist, he never thinks things will go badly. My kid, well, he practically needs a boot to the rear to do just about anything that doesn't involve his buddies or his hobbies.

I would have thought with all of the local news coverage of the chaos in Atlanta a few weeks ago that they would have been somewhat tuned into the urgency of the situation...forecasters were framing it in very serious terms. Hundreds of utility trucks were cued up, ready to remove downed trees and get the power restored after what they thought would be anywhere from a half inch to and inch and a half of ice.

I'm in the uk so not up to speed on whats happening where you are.
Yep, sounds like they should have been helping out.

Solution - Hide all the food. Wait for a reaction. Offer the solution. Thats how TPTB get it done

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 08:58 PM
reply to post by kosmicjack

Motherly instincts can be a pain. I have five.

Once they reached the age of reason, they were on their own. My babes are adults now, taking very good care of themselves, making sure that hindsight and foresight play a role in all of their decisions. It wasn't easy getting them there, mostly because of their complaining and whinning.

If I were you, shop for yourself, provide the very basics for them....bread and water. If they didn't launder their clothes...oh well.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 09:08 PM
reply to post by Witness2008

Definitely, their pampering days are *over*.

And to neo's point, I'm not above threats and exhortations, it finally got the hubby on the road before the ice. But, ultimately, to onequestion's point, you can only do so much and the rest is up to the universe, that is certain.

I guess I was just hoping that there were some tips for getting everyone on the same page in a crunch. But, maybe, if there is no perceived imminent threat to life or safety - it's unrealistic to think that can happen...

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 09:33 PM
reply to post by kosmicjack

There are some good ideas here so I am going to stick to being a realist.

In spite of being family they are still just human and some times it takes a catastrophic event to bring some people around and again sadly some times it's to late.

You sound strong and ready for the event but now you have to get ready to also save the majority of your family so your mental state is the key, without that your family may not only not have a chance but take you down with them.

Pull back from doing anything for anyone and if they don't come around at least you will know where you stand. This was someone else's thought earlier in the thread.

Good luck.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 10:02 PM
I had three teenagers in the house for a few years (now, none). In my experience, one of the fastest ways to get them to be more willing to help is to turn off the internet and/or cable (if that's an option for you).

I was getting everything squared away for a hurricane once, and nobody wanted to help with anything. I shut off the internet and cable. And then I waited. When they came wandering from their rooms shaking the remnants of internet glare from their eyes, I informed them that a storm was coming and that they were absolutely going to help me get ready. I delegated, even going so far as to set time limits (ah, the joys of procrastinating teens) for completion of their assigned project. There were some groans and complaints, but I think that is the default setting for teens.

Anyway, when the storm finally came, we lost power for almost a week (5 days I think it was). And the girls really came together to make sure things went smoothly. It was actually really nice, almost like what I imagine travel back in time would be like! We did things in the daylight, and then wrapped it up and got ready for bed shortly after dinner. And, shockingly, everyone enjoyed everyone else's company. There was no bickering and griping. We played cards and board games, worked outside picking up debris, etc. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but aside the inconvenience, I appreciate the quality time the experience gave me with my family.

Don't get too frustrated with yours, I am sure that if the situation really calls for absolute cooperation, they will come through for you as best they can!

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 10:03 PM
Even if you made preps you should hide them and wait for them to get hungry or cold enough to realize the need for action.
Only when they get miserable enough will they cooperate.
If everything is done for them they will learn nothing and do even less.
A couple of cold meals out of a can huddled around the kerosene stove should do the trick.

Eta- I completely understand your situation. My ex used to mock me for prepping in front of our sons and would do the opposite of what I wanted just to be contrary and a pain in the ass. I have since moved on with my life and have a mate who not only understands but participates with me in anything I feel the need to do. Not to put down my ex but my wife now is far smarter which makes everything easier somehow.
edit on 13-2-2014 by Asktheanimals because: (no reason given)

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 10:17 PM
reply to post by MojaveBurning

Great point. No reason just because we have no power that we must have a bad time. We've come to enjoy the wonderful deep quiet that comes with no electricity and playing cards and board games by oil lanterns. Have fun in the snow and when you come in hours later any bowl of soup tastes amazing. Just a cup of hot coffee when the house is freezing is such a pleasure to have.

We need to lose all the peripheral stuff that comes with modern life for a few days just to remember what reality is.
Whenever I sit in front of an open fire I feel a connection to all mankind through the ages, we have done the same thing for hundreds of thousands of years.

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 10:26 PM
reply to post by kosmicjack

IMHO, approach potential emergencies as an inevitable... some day sometime, you and yours will have to survive a situation that has been thrust upon you..

The best time to prepare, is when it's not forecasted, in the case of a weather event... for me, YMMV, the #1 deal to help you get through, is a complete understanding of what may, what could occur... that way, should the worst happen, you have a built in database to action... preparation should be accomplished the same time you gather knowledge...

We could lose power - Do we have a generator to provide some relief?, our we affluent enough to afford a whole house back up generator?, do we have options for generating heat (winter) for warmth, or for cooking.. (woodstove)..

If we lose power do we have water, gas still available? depends on your situation...

go through those possibilities, add in other necessities such as food, water etc, learn what you may need to ride out 7-10 days without power, and formulate your plan...

Once you are comfortable with your plan, YOU = household, not 1 person.. do some random drills at dinner, run scenarios verbally while having dinner... make it 2nd nature not an emergency, if that makes sense...

For me, prep doesn't start when the folks who URGE everyone to stock up cause an event is coming.. bread milk egg lobbyists must have paid someone to have that kind of adverting

I know this was a bit haphazard stream of consciousness, but we had nearly 18" of snow today, and I am still mentally going through what if's to make sure we make it through comfortably....

Stay safe!

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 11:29 PM

So what the heck can I do to get my family on board with being more cohesive and cooperative?

I've been waiting my whole life to hear this question. I knew I couldn't bring it up. No one would believe me if I brought it up. Noooo. Thank you Charley Manson for that one.

Yes! What did happen to all of our cultural traditions of group effort, and What happened to the extended families. Why are you letting them destroy our society. You will listen to the radio, but not to me. Why is that. How is it that if media is backing me up, suddenly I am worth considering. Are you seriously going to persist in living in an environment where the idiot box has more say than you do.

Here are some clues to what most of us have lost.

Errol Flynn stared in a color version of Robin Hood. This movie is a criticism of the New Testament, in Robin Hood's post crucifixion world his merry band always shows up and does a gallows rescue. By infiltrating the crowd of course. Where the twelve apostles failed, in comparison, and thus is a solution to the legal entanglements of the Jesus Incident. If he was so awesome, and only his apostles really knew it, then why didn't they rescue him.

At least that's the effect Errol Flynn's Robin Hood had on the soul of America.

It completely overlooks that fact that Jesus wouldn't have _let_ them rescue him, yet the Movie did have an effect on peoples sense of brotherhood in the Church. And people began to see similarities between going to a mass and-hearing-a-story and going to the movies and-seeing-a-story. Now I'm not defending Church. I'm just saying that this is the oldest breaking point that I can personally identify. People began attending matinee's with a sense of religious awe.

But Robin Hood used to be a team movie. But from that movie onwards, no greater, and almost always lesser sizes of teams were of any relevance to film. The last movie I can think of that contains even a hint of team cohesion is Clint Eastwood in "Kelly's Heros." And even that movie is more dysfunctional with only one scene where everyone is part of a team, knows their place in it, and understands how it all comes together. And no one speaks, only the harmonica is blown. Which makes the body language of the scene play almost like a silent movie. Sort of waving goodbye to team work as it drifts into the forgotten pile. To be taken out with the mornings' trash.

Everything that was popular about great leadership was then systematically destroyed from the top down, through caricatures of Aristocracy and how inherently evil and self serving the desire to Lead is. Dracula. Then the Mad Scientist. The chemist who drinks his own experiments. Jim Jones mixing the cool-aid. And Manson. The hippie love-in leader who poisoned the well against all of us warm and caring tour guides. Those true shaman, who see great health for the tribe through minor adjustments, all shut out, the door slammed in their faces. If TV doesn't say your are right, then you lack all credibility. None of us. Not one. Will listen to the other.

It matters not what kind of Leader one wants to be. From the lowest beggar to the highest halls of power. Leadership is equated, by the public, to hubris and a massively out of control ego. Something to be shunned or sabotaged. For the good of society. This is what we are facing. Moral righteousness only aimed at one thing. Anyone who tries to lead.

So how does one introduce teachable Leadership?

By pointing out that sometimes one serves under a great or decent leader to learn more about leadership itself. And introduce a rotating leadership burden, so each person gets a turn introducing their own plan. And gauging the quality of the participation themselves. Then when it comes back around to your turn; you'll know more about where they would choose to bug-out to and the shape of their respective world views in what bugging-out actually means. Who knows one or two of them may even have a new appreciation for the wisdom of your plan. After experiencing leading for the first time themselves they may see your plan with new eyes. Even possibly seeing the trivial performance required to provide batteries.

Mike Grouchy

edit on 13-2-2014 by mikegrouchy because: (no reason given)

posted on Feb, 13 2014 @ 11:35 PM
In times of extreme stress due to disasters, it is imperative to have a leader. It is best to have a Queen who is firm but kind and has all members of the household's best interest at heart. So, become the Queen of the Survivalists and don't ask, COMMAND that your will be done in these matters. Drama will get their attention, add in a bit of humor---fashioning yourself a crown of tinfoil---find yourself a scepter---dub your offspring "Lady of the Lights" and "Sir Water Bearer." Above all, BANISH whining about lack of ..... anything...and encourage enjoyment of what is before you.
Believe me, democracy doesn't work in these situations. Firm leadership is the best way to teach them to respond to these things properly. Require their participation in the preparation process or they will never "get it." Have them help with the shopping list. As was suggested earlier, it's much easier to cope in these situations if you've done a drill. Do a voluntary "black out" for a short period of time to give them an idea of what they could face. Make "survival foods" to see how tasty they are and what is needed to fine-tune the experience.
When we had anywhere from 3 to 7 teenagers in the house, (ours plus friends, cousins) we lived in an area that experienced power outages quite often. We had a woodstove and a fireplace in a drafty old farmhouse so heat/cooking wasn't a big issue. Toting wood was a regular chore for everyone. But those experiences made me believe that the essence of enjoying such times comes from having good, nourishing food.
But hey, I was raised a Southern woman, no matter what the issue, a hug and a good meal will give you a different perspective.

posted on Feb, 14 2014 @ 12:52 AM
reply to post by kosmicjack

When is doomsday? I didn't get the memo. I'm so glad I live in the middle of nowhere. You city slickers will get eaten before they find their way to my neck of the woods during the zombie apocalypse. On a serious note, If it came to living like that I won't mind checking out early. I will not hoard supplies for something that someone thinks is going to happen and live in fear trying to get it right. I have a few skills from the military and can hold out without all that. I'm sitting right on top of an aquifer. Springs are all over around here. Hunter gatherer mode will kick in.

All I know for sure is that fear sucks. I will not live in it. I will live my life happy and content until I cannot do so because of some unforeseen circumstance. I know, someone is going to tell me that they will shoot me when I come for their supplies. I don't need your supplies. I don't need your fear or contempt. It is going to be alright even if there are some bumpy roads ahead. Life does go on.

posted on Feb, 14 2014 @ 10:40 AM
reply to post by kosmicjack

Not reading all the post's ....But I know how you feel! I live in CT. 50 miles from NYC. I am a Vol. Firefighter for 40 years.
I lost friends in 9/11, after that I began preparing. I asked my cousin who was a lifer in the Marines in recon a bad boy. What I should do? He told me it's simple , you have a ton of camping gear, right? Yep I do. so if the SHTF stay home ,do not bug out, you have what you need at home ,just beef it up.

Last year we had the blizzard and Sandy before that Irene. We lost power for a week both times. But I have a wood stove with a blower unit that puts out 50,000 btu goot for most of the house and a 20 amp generator that I bought back in the early 90's.
As a firefighter my wife of the past 8 years listens to me, my daughter that I brought up as a single dad.
I brought her up to be a leader and she is , a LT. in the Trumbull Police Cadets.

We are having extreme weather conditions here now.

My advice to who is have a family intervention, a big time sit down talk and explain simply it's not getting better but will get worse and everybody has to buck up and do their part! For each other.

Also I have about 9 months of freeze dried food, keep seeds ,have a veggie garden every year and can.
I have rifles no pistols, but can hunt and protect my family. Oh and lot's of ammo.

Just prepare and explain to your family your lives may depend on it!

Oh foot note we got 14 " of snow last nite on top of what we already have, plus nites at 0 degrees and we are gonna get hit again! I don't know where to pile the snow!

edit on 14-2-2014 by nighthawk1954 because: (no reason given)

posted on Feb, 15 2014 @ 12:48 AM
reply to post by kosmicjack

Thankfully, this was more of a prep run...

Love the reality of your situ, it is very common in my circles.

I wish I had a solution, short of leaving them home for a few days
to fend for themselves, not much seems to "breakthrough".

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