Save a turkey this year - have tofu "turkey" instead.

Once again, it is time to blow the dust off one of my all-time favorite threads... Yes, my guilty pleasure of thread necromancy, gastric excess and oenophilia...

Added to the Mirthful One's Thanksgiving Day routine is the Moscow Mule and is particularly favored by Grandma Me, but all imbibe early, as it is refreshing and goes well with football...

Turkey, Ham and a protein to be name later will grace the Mirthful table...

How do you make a tofu turkey?

First burn down the rain forest ......

Where do you think soya comes from? At least turkey farmers arent destroying any more of our environment or directly responsible for climate change and the extinction of myriads of species every year.

Tofurkey? Ew. I love tofu myself despite eating meat, but tofurkey is one of those faux meat deals that has never been done right thus far, it's simply an awful facsimile. Well, no, it's not even a facsimile, tofurkey is a clear miss. Unlike veg chicken subs, veg beef subs, this is one of those meat substitutes that I don't think can be done as of yet.

However, don't worry, we don't be sacrificing a turkey this Thanksgiving. For starters, I hate turkey, it's not my cup of meat eater tea. Two, we don't really bother with Thanksgiving as it is. So it'll just be a normal meal for us, like chicken or burgers or something.

Too late. The birds are harvested and on the way to or in stores now. No use wasting them.

Start earlier.

a reply to: Mynaeris

Did you know that if we didn't eat turkey, none of those turkeys would have any reason to exist and indeed could not even perpetuate themselves because of how they have been bred?

Indeed, they, like domesticated corn, need human intervention in order to propagate. So in order for the domesticate turkey to have any place in life at all ... I will be eating my turkey this year.

Also, domesticated turkeys are so stupid they are prone to drowning themselves by looking up during a rainstorm.

originally posted by: roadgravel
Too late. The birds are harvested and on the way to or in stores now. No use wasting them.

Start earlier.

Pretty much this. Personally, I think if anyone wants to cut down the overall amount of a particular meat type eaten on a holiday, they have to start a whole lot earlier than a mere few weeks ahead of time. Like, upwards of 6 months earlier, depending on how long the farm raises them before they head to slaughter. Otherwise, it's literally is a waste, and the animals were slaughtered for nothing if they just sit somewhere frozen until disposal. I mean, it would be fabulous if we just grew/reared just enough for what we need, but we do it in excess in the States.
Hrm. On reflection, it's a nice idea to start trying to back people off around May/June, but they're still going to be hatching those eggs either way... It could work, but would take a year-round active effort for several years, and as those vegetarian/vegan efforts go, no one's going to listen with the prevalent PETA holier-than-thou attitudes anyway.

originally posted by: ketsuko
Also, domesticated turkeys are so stupid they are prone to drowning themselves by looking up during a rainstorm.

My parents ran a farm when I was really little. We had turkeys, they were friendly enough animals, but I remember them being incredibly stupid birds. We did lose 2 to drowning in the rain, it's no myth.

Edit: One we had, Tom (yeah, original, huh?) almost drowned in their water pan. I don't know if he was mentally challenged to begin with, but my mom always said he was much different afterward in a mentally handicapped sense, "he got worse" was her opinion. We kept him for years afterward, something about his idiot feathered butt resonated with us, he became more of a pet than anything. We did eventually eat him for Thanksgiving one year when we moved south & no one wanted to take him in.

a reply to: Nyiah

Yeah, if we had the space, I'd like to do a grow my own on some things like poultry and eggs. I think vegetables would be harder because the maintenance on gardens is much tougher although with enough hens the pest control can be cut down I hear.

a reply to: ketsuko

Big time help, ever since we got Lavern and Shirley we have not seen one scorpion in our yard and that alone has saved us a bunch of money plus free tastier eggs.

a reply to: thesaneone

Which brings up the interesting dichotomy... Wild turkeys (the bird in the wild, not the booze), eat a protein rich diet of insects, while farm raised turkeys (like what you buy in the store) are fed grains and corn, a carbohydrate rich diet.

Wild turkey has small breasts, while farm raised turkeys are ready for the Spearmint Rhino...

Just an observation, but I could use a turkey or two in my yard...

a reply to: Mirthful Me

But what is hunting season down there? Up here it's in the spring. Figure that one out.

a reply to: intrepidMost states that I'm licensed in have two turkey seasons, one spring, one fall...

Montana has some incredible turkey hunting... I've seen a parade of wild turkeys that had several hundred bearded gobblers in it's ranks... Amazing...

Time once again to plumb the holiday culinary depth and breadth of ATS...

Smoke em if you got em ladies and gents... And ummm... Errrr... whatever we have in between...

Just trying to be inclusive.

If you shoot a wild turkey, enjoy If that is not an option, have some wild rice, yams, and cranberries!

a reply to: Mynaeris

Time to

this again.

Commercially bred turkeys can barely walk on their own. Their lives are nothing but suffering. If you must eat turkey and cannot hunt them yourself, at least purchase a "heritage" turkey. These are at least viable.

The turkey I am going to eat had a great life, many friends, and was a member of the community.

Bump for the twelfth anniversary of this thread... PoRst your plans, recipes, libations to be consumed and your support/derision for the national meal of record...

It's an away game year for me, so I have no control over the culinary details, but will enforce the time honored tradition of Moscow Mules early, followed by a stunning array of wines to complement what I hope is a respectable effort by the home team.

We shall see what transpires...

Again.. this tofu blasphemy!

I have a turkey so big this year Ill have to thaw it for a week. Not really, but close. I also have a hunk of Bison Im roasting this year. Was thinking of smoking it, but got sidetracked with the grandson and all... so its roast.

Sidedishes of basically funeral food. LOL! Funeral potatoes, stuff like that. We just use the time of year to have family get together rather than the whole "thanksgiving thing"... some family objects to it. WHen I was a kid we had the thanksgiving "thing" at school and ... I was an indian. Came home, gave the parents the slip, dad went berzerk.. HAHAHA!! horribly wonderful memories.

Eat like a predator, not prey... I always say.

a reply to: Mirthful Me

LOL @ you bringing this thread back to life year after year..... after year.

a reply to: CranialSponge

It's a time honored tradition... A staple of the ATS holiday season...