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good grief. rumors at my job about me. really???

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posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 09:45 AM
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i was on the overnight shift at my job and someone let me know a few people were talking some horrific stuff about me. I do not drink, do any illegal substances, nothing. I smoke cigarettes, and that is it. But this list of rumors about me is SO huge. I wondered who started them - and now I know. This much older guy asked me to dinner and I politely turned him down because I'm interested in another. He stormed away and flat out ignored me like he was 12 years old, to put it nicely. well the other day i switched to the day shift. he had the nerve (and i must point out he got my phone number somehow from someone - i never gave it to him, ever) to call me at shift end yesterday and start talking down to me about switching shifts and not telling him and that i will never amount to anything and that he knows for a fact im a huge user of illegal substances and ''in fact saw me at work on them ''many times''. Guys, im SO tempted to spend the money to get a hair test done going back a year just to plop the results down and go 'really? REALLY? see? nothing is in my system, NOTHING, except some norco's from when I had my hysterectomy surgery in April of '13".

why do people feel the need to make up such horrific lies about another? I was NOT expecting that to come out of his mouth so I hung up on him and smoked a few cigs to calm down but my word. the most he knows of me is my name and basic stuff like 'i moved from here to here to be closer to work' and that's about it. Maybe cuz I'm moving up in my job? jealousy does have an ugly face. I have to see him at shift changes twice a day. ugh. I know none of the rumors are true at all and can 100% prove every single thing to be malicious lies very easily. I mean if ya wanna make up something about me, make it something amazingly awesome. Not something stupid which can be proven wrong.

Seriously a hair test may be a hundred dollars or so but just to do the whole 'so, you were saying????' would be SO worth it .




posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 09:50 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


Seems to be a case of sexual harassment.
Nail em for it.

That is, if what you say is true, I think you have a valid case.
Give em a warning if you are nice, I guess.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 09:52 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


I'd call him out in front of his peers. In a honest, yet forthright manner.

The best defense is a good offense.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 09:53 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 



Some men have real issues with "rejection". Ive had issues with men in the workplace as has my daughter. I waited till there were people to hear it.. and went over and told the guy : Look... I have NO interest in you. ABSOLUTELY NO interest. Keep this harassment up and Ill be sure to speak with HR.

NO ONE wants to get their name included in a disciplinary.. so he had no support in his little BS among the others in his clique. It stopped pretty quickly.

If youre female, youll ALWAYS have to deal with this BS in one form or another. Dont think your women coworkers wont do the same... jealousy is UGLY.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 09:59 AM
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it really is.

as i posted this, i remember I had posted a post about this on here about a month ago when it all started. Last night just kicked it into the 'now I know who started this crap' - same person who originally told me about said rumors going around. Interesting stuff. I went more into detail on the other post of course, but kept this one light as I was trying to stick to terms and stuff on this site, haha. I see I went into full 'telling all' on that other post.

It's been a month. It's understandable. I just had to vent out my irk from last night. Feels good to do so.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:02 AM
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sarra1833
it really is.

as i posted this, i remember I had posted a post about this on here about a month ago when it all started. Last night just kicked it into the 'now I know who started this crap' - same person who originally told me about said rumors going around. Interesting stuff. I went more into detail on the other post of course, but kept this one light as I was trying to stick to terms and stuff on this site, haha. I see I went into full 'telling all' on that other post.

It's been a month. It's understandable. I just had to vent out my irk from last night. Feels good to do so.


Hey... ATS can be great FREE therapy. Keeping folks from going postal for several years. Im convinced thats why they put the rant section here!! They dont want to see ATSers in the news....



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:02 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


Hi sarra1833!
I can relate hun, the same thing has happened to me...more than once!
It's amazing that just because you're not 'interested' in a person, they feel the need to humiliate you in a public (and CRUEL) manner!

If you feel the need to prove yourself (to your employer?) then, go ahead with the hair test.
I personally will rarely defend myself against lies...simply because I refuse to the let the other person know that they are getting to me.
Also for fear of someone thinking, "methinks she doth protest too much!"...Shakespeare...lol!

True story: I once was walking down the main street of town, towards my parked minivan. A strange man came up to me, and said, "I just have to tell you that you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
I said, "Thank you, you're very kind." (as I unlocked my vehicle, and put my shopping inside).
He then said, "You would be a lovely DIVERSION this afternoon."
Huh?
I said, "Well thank you...but I am NO ONE's DIVERSION!"
I quickly got in and buckled up, and you know what he did?
He 'keyed' the entire passenger side of my minivan. Scratched it from front to back before he walked away.
???
Some people just don't take rejection well.
I hope you can snuff this out before it spirals into real trouble for you!!

jacygirl



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:22 AM
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Some days I wish it was like it used to be. You know.. violence solving issues and not going to jail or getting sued.


I was a HUGE daddys girl. I was in my first year of college ( I was only 18 barely) and away from home in Mississippi and my dad was in New Orleans. I was working a little part time office job because I didnt like eating Ramen every meal in college. I was working for this really good looking older guy who ran a real estate office. I was putting together sheets ( like the MLS sheets you have today) but it was all typing on forms and photocopying. I was at the photocopier and this dude LICKED the back of my neck. I was FREAKED out. I avoided this guy afterward and basically ran out the door when it was time to leave. I called my dad mabe 50 times before I finally got him on the phone and told him what happened. I knew my dad.. and figured what he would do.. but told him anyway. I was always really careful what I told my dad because I knew he was a badass and protective of me.. his only child and his only girl.
I was more mad about having to quit the job than anything I think! LOL! In a college town decent paying jobs are hard to find.. and this was early 80's in Oxford Mississippi. No sexual harassment stuff back then really to have any recourse. My dad drove from New Orleans to Oxford... and beat the holy hell out of this guy. My uncle who was with him just stood there and later told me my dad told the guy if he called the police or even looked at me again, he would make bail and come out to make the charges and lawyer bills worth it. He went back home and called me the next day and told me dont go to work.
The good thing about this.. that the do no violence folks dont consider... is that this guy had to explain to his wife, friends, employees why I quit and why he looked like hamburger. He had to think twice about EVER licking another young girls neck ( or worse) who is just trying to feed herself while getting an education. A predator has his pick in a college town of young girls on their own for the first time in their lives... and I imagine this little incident prevented a few things the jerk THOUGHT he could get away with.

Im old now. People are worse these days and they get away with it regardless of all of the laws and etc. Lawyers get predators off and the victims have little recourse in real life. Yep... I long for the old days.. and protective fathers looking out for their daughters and everyone else's daughters.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:25 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


Now, THERE is a target for a smashed larynx and a pair of disarticulated testes!

What a bastard. As far as getting yourself drug tested goes, I would have a word with any Union representative you may have, and your boss as well, to see if there are any things of which you should be aware before you act, procedural things, you know how it is.

I think the behaviour of the lout you refer to is utterly disgusting, and the marker of a total cad. I do hope his nether regions rot and fall off, and I hope that you get to stand on his neck at somepoint... figuratively speaking of course..heh..heh..heh.

Or maybe not so figuratively, if the situation becomes such that you cannot resist causing serious bodily injury.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:39 AM
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muzzleflash
reply to post by sarra1833
 


Seems to be a case of sexual harassment.
Nail em for it.

That is, if what you say is true, I think you have a valid case.
Give em a warning if you are nice, I guess.


First step, document everything.

Keep a log of events carry on you, do not let others know you are doing it.

Once you have an appropriate list of complaints, take it to your direct supervisor in a one on one meeting.

Give this person a list of complaints, Follow the companies proper channels, document every attempt to correct the problem the company has.

UNLESS management is made aware, or can be proven to have known, you have no case until management knowingly fails to address the issue.


I've worked management in one of the most litigious states, take the above steps, if it fails seek legal action, and you will have a case if you followed the above.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:49 AM
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What a Richard...

Tell him if you ever see his face again you are reporting him for harassment.

Tell him if you ever hear his name again you are reporting him.

This is 2014.....No Employer can tolerate this. Stand up for yourself.

No way pay for any test. You owe him nothing. Documenting is a great suggestion.

Don't take this crap another second.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 10:58 AM
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Advantage
Some days I wish it was like it used to be. You know.. violence solving issues and not going to jail or getting sued.


I was a HUGE daddys girl. I was in my first year of college ( I was only 18 barely) and away from home in Mississippi and my dad was in New Orleans. I was working a little part time office job because I didnt like eating Ramen every meal in college. I was working for this really good looking older guy who ran a real estate office. I was putting together sheets ( like the MLS sheets you have today) but it was all typing on forms and photocopying. I was at the photocopier and this dude LICKED the back of my neck. I was FREAKED out. I avoided this guy afterward and basically ran out the door when it was time to leave. I called my dad mabe 50 times before I finally got him on the phone and told him what happened. I knew my dad.. and figured what he would do.. but told him anyway. I was always really careful what I told my dad because I knew he was a badass and protective of me.. his only child and his only girl.
I was more mad about having to quit the job than anything I think! LOL! In a college town decent paying jobs are hard to find.. and this was early 80's in Oxford Mississippi. No sexual harassment stuff back then really to have any recourse. My dad drove from New Orleans to Oxford... and beat the holy hell out of this guy. My uncle who was with him just stood there and later told me my dad told the guy if he called the police or even looked at me again, he would make bail and come out to make the charges and lawyer bills worth it. He went back home and called me the next day and told me dont go to work.
The good thing about this.. that the do no violence folks dont consider... is that this guy had to explain to his wife, friends, employees why I quit and why he looked like hamburger. He had to think twice about EVER licking another young girls neck ( or worse) who is just trying to feed herself while getting an education. A predator has his pick in a college town of young girls on their own for the first time in their lives... and I imagine this little incident prevented a few things the jerk THOUGHT he could get away with.

Im old now. People are worse these days and they get away with it regardless of all of the laws and etc. Lawyers get predators off and the victims have little recourse in real life. Yep... I long for the old days.. and protective fathers looking out for their daughters and everyone else's daughters.


Oh yeah?
I bet my Dad can beat up your Dad :3



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 11:01 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


A rumor once started that I was gay....I found it fun...I totally went with it....oddly it made more women open up to me and then during our conversations id explain the joke I was letting run and that im not gay at all....I ended up having so much sex those few months (with women) because women thought I was gay.....crazy world....how I miss the days when women thought I was gay....

On the other side of that....I had a few dudes open up to me as well hahahah...some were my good friends and still are today.

I am a straight male...just incase you couldn't tell by my unisex ghost avatar.
edit on 12-2-2014 by cosmicexplorer because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 11:02 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


Ive msg you detailed suggestions on how to properly handle and pursue this matter legally, keep in mind laws vary state to state.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 11:02 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


One of the best resources on the 'net for work related issues.

www.askamanager.org...

There are ways to handle this with HR that won't blow back onto you.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 11:15 AM
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rangerdanger

Advantage
Some days I wish it was like it used to be. You know.. violence solving issues and not going to jail or getting sued.


I was a HUGE daddys girl. I was in my first year of college ( I was only 18 barely) and away from home in Mississippi and my dad was in New Orleans. I was working a little part time office job because I didnt like eating Ramen every meal in college. I was working for this really good looking older guy who ran a real estate office. I was putting together sheets ( like the MLS sheets you have today) but it was all typing on forms and photocopying. I was at the photocopier and this dude LICKED the back of my neck. I was FREAKED out. I avoided this guy afterward and basically ran out the door when it was time to leave. I called my dad mabe 50 times before I finally got him on the phone and told him what happened. I knew my dad.. and figured what he would do.. but told him anyway. I was always really careful what I told my dad because I knew he was a badass and protective of me.. his only child and his only girl.
I was more mad about having to quit the job than anything I think! LOL! In a college town decent paying jobs are hard to find.. and this was early 80's in Oxford Mississippi. No sexual harassment stuff back then really to have any recourse. My dad drove from New Orleans to Oxford... and beat the holy hell out of this guy. My uncle who was with him just stood there and later told me my dad told the guy if he called the police or even looked at me again, he would make bail and come out to make the charges and lawyer bills worth it. He went back home and called me the next day and told me dont go to work.
The good thing about this.. that the do no violence folks dont consider... is that this guy had to explain to his wife, friends, employees why I quit and why he looked like hamburger. He had to think twice about EVER licking another young girls neck ( or worse) who is just trying to feed herself while getting an education. A predator has his pick in a college town of young girls on their own for the first time in their lives... and I imagine this little incident prevented a few things the jerk THOUGHT he could get away with.

Im old now. People are worse these days and they get away with it regardless of all of the laws and etc. Lawyers get predators off and the victims have little recourse in real life. Yep... I long for the old days.. and protective fathers looking out for their daughters and everyone else's daughters.


Oh yeah?
I bet my Dad can beat up your Dad :3


Well... he has been dead a decade.. shouldnt be TOO hard.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 11:59 AM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


This is a delicate situation.
Go to your boss. show him the calls.
he's harassing you.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 12:28 PM
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Some people are sucky. Really really sucky. The need to grow up and mind their own business.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 12:33 PM
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reply to post by sarra1833
 


My brilliant daughter had a situation similar to this. What she did about it stunned and stopped it immediately.

She sat down with the initiator of the rumors and calmly laid out every rumor she knew he started. He was flabbergasted, embarrassed, shocked and denied it. She never, ever, lost her temper, she remained stoically calm, which scared him even more. She did not cry, she did not whine, she stayed in total control and outwardly cool and calm, regardless of how she felt inwardly. He never did it again to her and was horribly afraid of her after that.

The key is to confront the person/people who you know passed the rumors. They never expect you to do that. When you confront them coolly, calmly, and in a cold and stoic way it shakes the rumor mongers to the core and stops the rumors dead in its tracks. Why, these people will tell others what you had the "nerve" to do and how "scarey" you are to stay so collected while doing it.

Trust me this works. But only if you stay totally and completely in charge of your emotions when doing it. Practice in front of a mirror over and over until you no longer get internally upset by rationally explaining what you know of what the person has done. Name no other names, refuse to do so, tell the person you won't stoop to their level by passing on what they say.

It will rattle them to the core, and no one at work will ever try this again.



posted on Feb, 12 2014 @ 03:35 PM
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Remember little boys in grade school pullling little girls hair? Same thing. He LIKES you...I'd Ignore him, and take every opportunity to tell others to do so as well.

He can be classified as a stalker right now, and thats the reason I'd let coworkers, mgr, supervisor...whomever...know aabout what he's up to if only to protect yourself...



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