Well it finally happened, bashing my line of work over and over, combined with a very real lack of medical care for a botched surgery has made me
unable to be compassionate for anyone else.
Let me preface, for fifteen years I have helped everyone I could at whatever point I could, to the point of taking my jacket off in freezing cold
weather to make sure someone else doesn't freeze to death.. in my job I have always investigated every single allegation (with the exception of the
OPPT morons) with the same vigor I would if it happened to me. Then all of a sudden...
Nope, no more left from me.
Someone here said that made me a HORRIBLE PERSON and PART OF THE PROBLEM, well after years of this stuff where's my help?
We got screwed in 2011, and are still recovering from that (The great Northeast Snowstorm) our infrastructure has never recovered, but I see people in
Georgia complaining about snow.. and I can't feel sorry for them, I see people complaining that they had their power knocked out for a few days... I
can't feel sorry for them anymore, I see death and destruction, and I feel nothing, it's like I've been totally stripped of any emotion or feeling, or
anything unless it pertains to my immediate family (and even then only my girls)
I can't get Food Stamps to help offset the bills, I can't get energy assistance to help pay the 1500 dollar a month propane bill (heat and hot water)
or the now 200 dollar a month CL&P bill (that has steadily gone up every year since the storm.) I can't get assistance of any kind with the exception
of the special services the girls get, that get paid for through grants from the Dept of Health and Human Services but even those make me pay some of
that cost (which I do NOT mind doing, so don't think I do) but that's still 25K per year per girl.. (50K of my salary a year goes to just their
education needs) doesn't leave a lot left over for discretionary spending, so I have not been to a movie in 10 years, on vacation in close to 13, or
anywhere outside of work or necessary travel in close to 12.. I do not buy things "new" my computer, even though it's an Apple (and I see people say
if you can afford that you aren't doing bad) was part of the girls AT (Assistive Tech) blockgrant, which let me buy one for myself at around the same
cost of a PC, and since I prefer OSX, well..
But back to the rant..
I can't feel sorry for anyone anymore, and it's bugging me, I have always felt sorry for the other guy, I have enough on my plate, yes, but I have
always helped when I could, or at least offered moral support... And don't get me started on the bashing the families that lost kids at Sandy Hook, my
gods, if I see one more person screaming fake, or actors I'm going to scream bloody murder.. I had to help tell these parents what happened, i saw the
crushed looks on their faces, none of them, NONE OF THEM, were actors hired just to make all of us give up our guns... so I Just can't anymore and I
Does that really make me a horrible person? Or Am i just finally folding under the weight of everything going on?
edit on 1222014 by vkey08 because: (no reason given)