I’ve made mention of this in a couple threads, but to be truthful. I’m nervous as hell. I felt more comfortable on combat ops truth be told. THAT’s how nervous I am.
I’ve dated before in the ten years since I have broken it off with my ex, but it turned out that every woman that I saw was married. I won’t cross that line. I have no problem being the happy asshole…but I don’t want to THE asshole.
Maybe I should have put this in the rant forum. But I’m still scared as all get out. It's been awhile.
Dom: You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun! Of course that's why you're nervous. Oh my dear friend, please sit, please. Look, um, after you've had sex with a girl, and you're lying in bed with her, are you nervous?
Dom: No, you're not, why?
Ted: Cause I'm tired...
Dom: Wrong! It's 'cause you ain't got the baby batter on the brain anymore! Jesus, that stuff will f@$& you're head up! Look, the most honest moment in a man's life are the few minutes after he's blown his load, now that is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you're no longer trying to get laid, you're actually... you're thinking like a girl, and girls love that.
reply to post by TDawgRex
Panic. I'd panic if I were you.
If she's kind and attractive, panic worse.
Trust beezzer's dating tips on this one.
1. Always take a small monkey on the first date.
2. Wear chaps and pretend you're a rodeo clown.
3. Sob hysterically if she mentions any movie. ANY movie.
4. Get facial tattoos together.
5. Arm-wrestle for the bill after dinner.
reply to post by Rodinus
I've only successfully dated one woman, and that was over 20 years ago, so my advice might be a bit "out of touch" with what the folks have to experience today.
Apologies to your experience, however.