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Hi my name is (insert name here) and i punch dogs.
late in the day i have found that being hatched from and egg is not the norm
my egg was blue and for this i am unhappy (i dont like blue)
my early days were spent trying to avoid the bigger trees in my yard
often eating the various grubs and roots my small snout could unearth
this you might say has set me up in life for not very much
tonight i have had a kebab and some plastic toy soldiers for tea
i have 2 gold fish: 1 called terrance and 1 called turnip
turnip doesn't like kevin. but as they stay out of each others way life aint hard
you may ask who is kevin?
this has nothing to do with you and as such will remain my secret
i have never had a chance to collect stamps! this upsets me
i do however have a large collection of small shoes
47% of them are left 1's
Things I Like:
i like the noise small kids make when you hit them and they fall down,
(old people make much the same noise ?!?! strange that?).
I like my sock Franko and he likes me.
I like 2/3rds of rice kryspies in a packet, (the rest can go 2 hell).
Carving novelty animals from root vegetables.
Freaky Circus ***. Jokes that are in bad taste.
Girls with no Standards, Morals or Self Esteem.
Midgets, (yay for little people they make me feel big).
Really creepy people who follow you about.
Things I Dislike:
Balloon animals, its not a Giraffe its a bent up balloon!
Eating just cos ive run out of beer!
Fat people who aren't jolly, (fat people have to be jolly its the LAW!)
Girls who think to much, (well of course your not gunna wanna sleep with me if you think about it).
Kittens that come apart when you kick them.
Materialism and not having enough stuff.
Double Standards (i can have them but you cant!)
Small Stones with Sharp Edges.
To be honest i only came here cos i was told that mondays is chocolate cake and ice cream day.
So basically this is my spot where i’m going to type all my crazy thoughts which you don’t care about
But but i truly don't care about them , not even your name is true