Six Habits of Highly Empathic People

reply to post by Kali74


Well, the thing about interesting threads (and I love this one) is that they often go one of two ways

It's either becomes a love fest or a death match

Sometimes we lose the thread - if you know what I mean :-)

Empathy - and compassion are worth examining and understanding

Even the dark underbelly - maybe especially

reply to post by wildtimes

"super powers" to trick real bad-guys - by being "better at their game" than the bad-guys are themselves.

OH wow, and I noticed that.

reply to post by Stormdancer777

Last night I was watching a show and an empath was described as someone with the ability to communicate with the dead.

Hmmm. I'm not sure about that one - remember the Next Generation Star Trek show? That lovely brunette (what was her name?) who was the staff "Empath." She could tell what others were thinking.

I think of those who can 'speak to the dead' as more than "empaths".

I don't have that gift, anyway.

reply to post by wildtimes


I don't want that gift, although I have long conversations with the deceased relatives in my dreams.



I also had a dream recently of casting out demons that bothered me particularly, I was standing barefoot on the ground and trying to suppress an evil force from breaking through, chanting something, the earth beneath my feet looked transparent and the view was of molten pulsating lava.

Don't know why I'm bring this up but there must be a reason.

reply to post by Spiramirabilis

Do our raw emotions always have a positive result? Does emotion always translate into real world solutions?

We all think we're empathetic - and we are. If some come off a little colder or more distant - that doesn't mean they don't feel - and feel very deeply. Being able to interpret, express and share those feelings is another thing entirely

Not being able to do it to others satisfaction can be a real handicap

And incredibly frustrating.

I do want to make a distinction between being "empathetic" and "empathic" - not quite the same thing.

No one has suggested that logical people don't "feel" love, joy, etc. (as Advantage seemed to allege) - "Empathetic" is a general term for being able to interpret signals when someone is overtly suffering, starving, gloating, etc.

"Empathic" is more subtle - like being able to tell when someone is "faking" their 'love', 'joy', etc.

reply to post by wildtimes

First of all, Aphorism has a history of interacting with me that you may not be aware of - I see through it, and that was my playful (subtle) way of paying him back. I'm aware of it, and I was prodding him when I suggested he should "try it". As I said in another post later, I'm not fooled by snide/subtle insults -and am capable of dishing them out as well as interpreting them for what they are. Others might not get it, but there's a certain "tone" that is both deceptive and condescending.

My impression of him is that he thinks he's superior and smarter than everyone else, and also is a materialist and pooh-poohs ideas of emotionality and paranormal and psychology as "pseudo-science" and "stupid." You're free to look back and see our exchanges if you like. If I'm mistaken about him, it's not my fault - it's his, as I've given him ample opportunity to straighten it out - but instead he chooses subtle double-speak "digs" rather than actual dialogue. Not the first time I've been round that block.

Hold on a second. Are you lying about me wildtimes?

This is the first time I've interacted with wildtimes; perhaps a mistake on my part. One can follow along and see the truth of the matter if they so choose.

What you are saying about me is dishonest, not necessarily a good quality for such an empath such as yourself. You have given me no opportunity to straighten anything out. You can read your own posts in comparison to mine. Rational people see right through it.

I have never stated the paranormal, emotionality and psychology is pseudo-science and stupid. You are putting words in my mouth. You have never met me, talked to me, nor have you accepted my views upon reading them. On knowing this, we can then ask what of the "steps of empaths" you have taken in regards to myself? Zero of them.

You've called me a troll, a materialist, condescending, James Randii, someone who thinks he is superior, smarter, a poo-pooer, and that it's my fault you are mistaken. What have I ever said about you? Nothing. I don't know you as a person. But I will say this, according to the article, you are not an empath at all.

Good thread! Good luck.

reply to post by Aphorism


I'm not lying.

And this is not the place to hash it out.
You linked to the first time we interacted - and it was not in this thread. Anyone can read through it.

ETA: And you just did it again!

LOL!!!

I don't know you as a person. But I will say this, according to the article, you are not an empath at all.

Good thread! Good luck.

See???!!! ^^^

Now that I've drawn you back out - kindly tell me why you said the derogatory, negative review of my source in that 'other thread' was "the only thing you could find"? THAT was the lie.

Definition of Aphorism:
Terse
Direct

Are you just testing me? Testing the waters to see how much better you are at 'thinking' than everyone else?

If I'm mistaken, then show me how. You owe that to me; or else my observations and "impressions" (the word I used) stand.
I admitted what I was doing - now it's your turn.

Fair enough?

reply to post by wildtimes

My impression of him is that he thinks he's superior and smarter than everyone else, and also is a materialist and pooh-poohs ideas of emotionality and paranormal and psychology as "pseudo-science" and "stupid." You're free to look back and see our exchanges if you like. If I'm mistaken about him, it's not my fault - it's his, as I've given him ample opportunity to straighten it out - but instead he chooses subtle double-speak "digs" rather than actual dialogue. Not the first time I've been round that block.

That was tailor-made to illustrate my point

Maybe he's right? We may never know for sure. In any case - some of my very best friends are materialists - including my dad

So.... :-)

My post wasn't about that - not specifically. It was more along the lines of how inexact and inefficient empathy can be sometimes

You and Aphorism are going to go the way you go - it has nothing to do with me or my opinion. Honestly Wildtimes - if I believed in such things I would be very tempted to say that sometimes it's as if two individuals are actually assigned to each other

:-)

We all need to be challenged

And sometimes it's even fun

Biigs
im very emphatic.


Unfortunately i use my powers to get what i want and to tease others for my amusement, im not a very nice person if im truly honest, people who cross me tend not to fair to well.

But its all empathy at the end of the day and im one of those that can read a mind instantly, but i usually abuse it.

Do the people you take advantage of feel humiliated and hurt by your teasing and abuse? If so, do you feel the humiliation and pain you cause? If not, why not?

The Corsican Brothers is a novella by Alexandre Dumas, père, first published in 1844. It is the story of two conjoined brothers who, though separated at birth, can still feel each other's pains.

If one brother abuses the other, they both feel it.

If you are abusing others and not feeling their pain, then are you truly empathic?

reply to post by BlueMule


It's called cognitive empathy.

People are confusing cognitive empathy with affective empathy in this thread, and vice versa.

He does it because it works to his advantage, and he doesn't care. You won't be able to change him.

reply to post by wildtimes

I don't know. Depends on how you use the word.

Infallible - meaning never being wrong. Have you ever made a mistake when you were deciding what was really going on with another person?

In as much as sometimes it's hard to know what's really going on with our own selves -

Is being able to empathize the same thing as actually understanding (or knowing for sure) what is going on with another person?

And then, having empathized - so what? What comes next?

Getting back to your OP - and the six habits...I read through it. It's an interesting article - one thing that stood our for me was how businesses should invest more energy in being empathic

I had to laugh - that's why they have human resource and marketing departments

So, along the lines of using our skills for good and evil - yeah - useful skills either way

Is there such a thing as good and evil?

:-)

reply to post by BlueMule


Thats what i like about it.

reply to post by Biigs


That it causes pain?
Wow.
At least you're honest.

reply to post by Spiramirabilis

That was tailor-made to illustrate my point

I know, and I typed it out anyway.

I said it's my "IMPRESSION".

reply to post by wildtimes

"Empathic" is more subtle - like being able to tell when someone is "faking" their 'love', 'joy', etc.

Here is where I think the waters start to muddy

If empathy is the ability to place one's self in the shoes of another and understand something about their situation without actually being in that situation - then we need another word for sussing out someone's true feelings

I don't think they're both the same thing - it's not the same as mind reading. Or reading of any sort - if you know what I mean?

Aphorism brought instinct up earlier (as well as intuition I think) - not quite right either - but since none of this is an exact science - exact words maybe don't exist for what we're trying to say?

Here's a book that I thought was very interesting:

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking is a 2005 book by Malcolm Gladwell. It presents in popular science format research from psychology and behavioral economics on the adaptive unconscious; mental processes that work rapidly and automatically from relatively little information. It considers both the strengths of the adaptive unconscious, for example in expert judgment, and its pitfalls such as stereotypes.

It got a lot of praise and a lot of criticism - but I think there's something there. Knowing without really knowing how we know :-)

Intuition - is not empathy

reply to post by Stormdancer777

I don't want that gift, although I have long conversations with the deceased relatives in my dreams.

Yes, that I do have.
Visits with my late dad.

Biigs
reply to post by BlueMule

 

Thats what i like about it.

Well as you yourself said, it's unfortunate. I feel sorry for you because I suspect that someday, all the pain you've caused will find its way back to you one way or another. What goes around comes around.

I would recommend that you focus on compassion (including self-compassion) before you do any more damage to yourself and others.

reply to post by Spiramirabilis


Empathy can be combined with cognitive heuristics (intuition) to make rapid judgments of people's intent, but this isn't a necessary requirement unless we are time pressed.

You're the one who seems to be confusing terms.

Affective/Cognitive empathy is enough on it's own to sift through someone's true intent. There is no intuition necessary for this.

reply to post by BlueMule


You have a need for this to be true due to your belief system.

Truth is, karma only exists for those who believe in it, and have an intact conscience. It's the internal beating up that causes this karma. I've seen plenty of psychopaths go through their lives without their misdeeds ever effecting them.

You can feel sorry for them, but that's simply your choice, and in no way will change the way he acts.

The only way karma could happen for someone like him, would be to get caught doing something really wrong, and get locked up. Depending on his particular deviations, he may not even be much affected by this.

You're essentially telling a man who has been blind since birth how you feel sorry for him, and wish he would one day choose to see the same as all normal people. He doesn't see, doesn't have an understanding of seeing as you do, and does just fine as he is. The blind man will think a fool of you.