reply to post by wildtimes
My mother used to tell me that, that I wore my heart on my sleeve. Before I understood it, it always felt like an insult. Even after I understood it,
it felt like an insult. Even now, however, I try to see it as my badge of courage.
The only problems I ever had with it were, certain people preyed upon me because of it, and others saw me as weak because of it.
I learned to somewhat cover it up, but I can't hide it. When someone is being treated badly I cannot resist the impulse to step in and become
protective, especially if the person is helpless.
If the person seems to be in despair, I lend comfort and emotional aide. If they are uneducated and being preyed upon, I step in and will educate
them, wisen them up, give advice to prevent them from being taken.
People laugh at me for being a softie, others get angry that I shelter and protect their vulnerable targets, and empower them.
But, I don't care. I won't ever change, and, the older I get, the more outspoken I get. In particular when it comes to the elderly and children.
It's almost like an instinct, or second nature, to put myself in that persons' position, like I see the event happening from their point if view.
Sometimes, it's very painfull, emotionally. The oddest thing about it all, it's very hard to do all od this for myself. For me, it is always a
hindsight type of thing. I always seem to see the event like a movie replaying in my mind, and I become full of coulda, shoulda, woulda.
I cannot settle something with myself until I figure out, and go back and fix the problem, even days later. I will confront the person, in a nice way,
and say, "When such and such happened, I felt xyz, and I just wanted to you to know how that action affected me, and I haven't been comfortable, and
really wanted to talk this over with you".
The worst part of it all is it makes me prone to emotional outbursts that no one else would ever have. Media allows me, usually, the opportunity to
think before I react. Real life, not so much. I have a bad case of foot in mouth syndrome.
Perhaps this was why my mother tried to shame me out of the behaviour.
edit on 30-1-2014 by Libertygal because: (no reason given)