Confusing shy girl

You have to ask her out - then whatever the decision, you can get on with your life (hopefully with her) but if not you can look elsewhere. What have you to loose?

I am no shakes at this advice either but a good safe bet is either going for a coffee or going ten pin bowling, it is one of those sports that is more fun, the worse that you are!

Don't be a creeper and just sit there watching, or out picking flowers.

Just ask her off hand if she's interested in having coffee, or sharing a meal or something.

I would also advise looking up the term Propinquity.
Find something.

Treat her like a human being, not an object, or thing to be pursued, or obtained.

reply to post by Thebel


Why would she be wierded out that you know her name? If she really likes you then I don't think she would mind. It wouldn't bother me if some guy I like messages me out of no where. You could wait and try to talk to her in person again. Or just add her already.

Build up the courage, If you think you can do it, you can.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

Truth she is interested and you are blowing it. You should have asked her out when you were sitting next to her. Now the very next time you see her you just man up and just do it. When she accepts don't think about the future don't worry about driving her away don't think about her as your girlfriend just treat her as you would any of your regular friends. With the one exception of taking the lead and being decisive. If you are going to dinner don't ask what she wants just pick a restaurant and go. If you are going to the movies don't ask her which one or what she likes just pick a movie and go. Do not I repeat do not turn this into a committee. You are asking her to join you doing what it is you have in mind. During your first date you should learn enough about her to make your second date choices more amenable to her tastes. The first date is about showing you in your natural light make the most of it. Good luck.


Oh and please for the love of God, do yourself a favor and read about conversational body language. And do not be afraid to act on the signals she gives you. And do be a gentleman open the doors, pull out the chairs, walk on the street side and all that. Read a few news articles (real news and gossip pages) and develop an opinion about them. Just be the real you because that is what she wants to see.

reply to post by Thebel


If you don't ask you don't get

It's that simple

Whats the worst that can happen?

reply to post by Thebel


Just go by your gut. Make her laugh and you got her!!

Ask her to a funny movie and then go to a pizza joint!! Easy!!

reply to post by RUFFREADY


Movie is actually not the best idea for a first date. It will work but most women want to go somewhere or do something where you can talk and get to know each other.

reply to post by KeliOnyx


Well, I was going to say ask her to the ZOO..lol!! But, not sure if one was near ..etc...

I dated a lot in southern California..so..lots of places to choose from..

I think dinner and a movie make a wonderful first date. In fact, I've been on one or two and it's always been my idea. Nothing wrong with being wined and dined and then going into a darkened movie theater to sit close to someone and share some hot buttered popcorn with some chocolate. I always preferred scary movies but comedies, especially the romantic comedies can certainly add to the experience of shared "first dates."

reply to post by RUFFREADY


The zoo would be good miniature golf, bowling anything really. My first date with my husband was going to Walmart so he could by some clothes for work followed by dinner and sunset at the lake. It isnt so much what you do as much as it is being relaxed and communicating. If one must do a movie always do it early and follow it with dinner or dessert so you can end the night engaging one another.

Id say " Hey Finnish girl, does this cloth smell like chloroform?" Kablam.. date night fun.

I mean Im a female. Id fall in love with a guy if he said this to me...

Seriously though, as everyone has said, just say hey.. my name is "whatever".. want to go get a coffee ( or whatever Finnish girls drink... )

reply to post by queenofsheba


There you go!! You said it better than me lol..But, your a writer and a nice looking writer at that!! MmmMmm

How about a Apple Bee's and a movie

KeliOnyx
reply to post by RUFFREADY

 

The zoo would be good miniature golf, bowling anything really. My first date with my husband was going to Walmart so he could by some clothes for work followed by dinner and sunset at the lake. It isnt so much what you do as much as it is being relaxed and communicating. If one must do a movie always do it early and follow it with dinner or dessert so you can end the night engaging one another.

That was my Idea..Movie..Pizza joint ..I usually would say.."you going to eat that?" lol!! but yeahh..it depends..and such

reply to post by RUFFREADY


Dinner and a movie is a very traditional "first date." You get the face-to-face and then the movie to see how the other reacts to it and you can laugh together or scream in terror together if it's a particularly frightening movie, and yet it's still a "shared" experience. Dating is learning, finding out each other's likes and dislikes and if you have things in common that you both like, or not. A concert would also be a good first date because you are together yet around others, so the pressure of having to constantly engage isn't there and quite honestly, you can learn a lot about your date by the way they react and respond to others and get feedback as to who they are as a person. I think it takes the pressure off of just sitting across from one another to drink coffee together and having to talk the whole time, I mean there's nothing like those awkward "silent" moments. I'd do dinner and a movie, for sure.

reply to post by RUFFREADY


Yeah you did at that too my bad I missed it. Thing with Dinner and a Movie mostly is about the order movie first so if all else fails you have something to talk about. But the other thing is for a first date is it is what most people do. The whole point of a first date is to make a good impression and get a second one. Movie and dinner probably account for around 3/4 of my first dates so needless to say they didn't really stand out from the crowd. Now the guy that took me ice skating even though he couldn't.... well you know.

reply to post by queenofsheba

sitting across from one another to drink coffee together and having to talk the whole time, I mean there's nothing like those awkward "silent" moments.

Oh God!! lol! yeah!! forget the coffee crap!! I mean..jeeze..if your nervous.. that will help lol!! Plus.. you might knock it over!! lol!!

Yep, go slow and steady. A loud pizza joint is perfect.. done it many times.. after a movie.

KeliOnyx
reply to post by RUFFREADY

 

Yeah you did at that too my bad I missed it. Thing with Dinner and a Movie mostly is about the order movie first so if all else fails you have something to talk about. But the other thing is for a first date is it is what most people do. The whole point of a first date is to make a good impression and get a second one. Movie and dinner probably account for around 3/4 of my first dates so needless to say they didn't really stand out from the crowd. Now the guy that took me ice skating even though he couldn't.... well you know.

I know lol!!

Remember I said. Southern Calif. So.. a movie at www.shopfashionisland.com... can be great for a first date!

reply to post by Thebel


I like how these types of posts ALWAYS end with something along the lines of, "now I'm so confused." We've all been there at one point or another.

I've never been the type to try to tell another guy what a girl is thinking in a situation like this, such as: "She's tired of waiting for you, that's why she ignored you while with her friend," etc., because it's impossible to determine what she is thinking.

The only thing I can say is just flat-out tell her. Be bold and confident, but not overbearing and creepy about it. If she says yes, then congratulations to you. If she says no, then get with her best friend... (just kidding). If she says no, then hold your chin up high and know that she was probably flattered, but just not interested, and that she is not the only girl out there.

I know this type of thing is easier said than done, but you can do it. When you do it, you will no longer be anxious, no matter what the outcome is. It will be a relief, so to speak. Good luck to you, and hopefully she is interested.

I was thinking about asking her out on coffee or tea in local cafe or something. Yes, cinema is bad idea. How can you talk to someone when you are watching movie?