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Quantum world, hacked brain, or just crazy?

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posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:02 AM
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I'm a long, long time lurker and was going to make my first post when I joined ATS two years ago, but decided against until now. Hopefully I won't violate T&C.

Back in the early '90 when I was a young teen my mom sat me down one day and said a lady would be calling and interviewing our family- mom, dad, sister, and myself. We had moved to Kentucky a few years earlier from Arkansas. Why the interview? Because I was born in '76 in Arkansas and the town we lived in had an accident when I was less than 2 years old. I was told that the town had an Air Force base on one side and a chemical plant on the other and they transferred Agent Orange between the two via a pipeline under the town and the pipe leaked into the sewers making everybody ill. So about 15 years later some company was tracking down everybody affected by the incident to 'see how they were doing'. I vaguely remember the interview, but do remember all the questions being related to physical and mental health issues, but mostly metal. We never heard from them again and the company responsible for the leak went out of business or changed names...we all know how corporations work.

I'm 37 years old now and in the past four years I have been thrown in a mental institution on four separate occasions....three weeks, three weeks, one week, three weeks were my lengths of lockup and each resulted in court ordered medication lasting one month after discharge. The first three stays I was "diagnosed" with paranoid schizophrenia and the last it was persecutory delusional disorder. I never agreed with any medication or mental disorder the doctors told me I had, except for one 'counselor' I was court ordered to visit on occasion. He told me I had a mild case of Asperger syndrome.

It all started in the summer of '06 when 'Dave' and his wife moved in next door. I was living with a friend and his wife, renting out their basement, just living life. But as soon as I met Dave I was suspicious of him. He was a pretty cool guy who became good friends with my roommate. All he did was play with his Jeeps and cars, not having to work because he was sitting on almost a million dollars he made from flipping an entire apartment complex. His wife was a teacher. I always felt like he was there to keep an eye on me.... Why? Because I'm no angel by any means. I earned an honest living delivering pizzas to support my online poker addiction as well as other addictions both real world and on the net. Quite a bit of money and some interesting information was flowing through my computer every night when I was online. I always felt like Dave was watching my activities. Oh yeah, when Dave moved in he had Virginia plates on his cars.

Others were watching me as well. The entire time Dave lived next to me I was constantly harassed by the police. I lived about 10 miles from work at the time and it seemed like every night when I got within a mile from home a cop car would follow me to my street. I was pulled over numerous times and even threatened...they were saying stuff like 'you better use your turn signal' and 'we're gonna get you'. I even had a guy I knew through a friend at work that said he new a cop that frequented a strip-club he was manager at. He told me this cop was mad at me because I had screwed up his 'operation' and he was going to do whatever he could to screw up mine. I had reasons to be paranoid...

Dave lived next door for three years and moved out in the summer of '09 to live in Florida. A couple months went by and then my roommate says Dave is coming back to Kentucky for a few days for a wedding and needs to stay with us while he is here that week. It was now October. I freaked out because I thought he was coming back to 'get' me for my 'shady' activities. It was a little weird while he stayed...I survived, but not after destroying a few hard drives. The last day he stayed he left his wrist watch in my bathroom for me to find when he left. I instantly thought he left it to tell me he was “watching me”.

Now the weirdness...

November '09 and two really freaking things happened. Out of the blue I started sleeping flat on my back after 30+ years of sleeping on my side and one night while sleeping I woke up to the feeling of my brain frying. It's hard to explain/describe other than I was having a brain aneurysm or electroshock therapy performed on me in my own bed. All I remember is instantly being awake with my upper body sitting up about 45 degrees with the felling of electricity going through my brain. It lasted about 3-5 seconds before it stopped and I fell back to my pillow. I remember thinking, 'is that all you have Dave', not caring what had just happened and then falling back to sleep. The next day I had no energy, it was like I hadn't slept in days or something.

A couple weeks later in mid-November I still felt like I was being watched, especially online. So I conjured up a plan. I was going to create an email suggesting I was going to carry out a 'terroristic mission' and send it out to my dad and all his friends that we had known for many years. As I was typing the email I noticed something in my vision. Out of no where an object had faded in. I just sort of froze my body and froze eyes to figure out if this thing was from my computer screen, out in thin air, or in my freaking left eye because I could only see it with my left eye. It wasn't an eye floater because I do have one in my left eye I can only see in the shower against the white walls on a bright, sunny day when the sun shines in the bathroom _ My eye floater is just a dot, but this object was a rounded off vertical rectangle and it almost looked 3-D. It was almost he same height as the cursor and about 4-5 times as wide. I sat there and watched and it seemed like it was focusing in on the text on my screen. After it 'adjusted' it started moving side to side like it was scanning the email...it was lined up perfectly with the text. Then it was gone and the rest of the day I tired to convince myself that I did not have a camera in my eye, because it just wasn't possible...

Later that month on Thanksgiving I finally broke down. After family dinner that night I went home and tried to rid myself of the paranoia and feeling of being watched. I went to the house breaker box and cut the power to the entire house and then laid in my bed. After a few minutes I turned the power back on went my computer, picked it up over my head, and threw it to the ground trying to destroy it. The only thing this accomplished was cutting my finger in the throwing process because the side panel was removed exposing the sharp edges of the case. It was a cut less that an inch on the inside part of my left index finger, but it bleed quit a bit. So I call up my mom and the first thing I said was 'I cut myself'. Bad mistake. My mom knew I was stressing at the time at didn't give me a chance to explain that it was an accident. Next thing I know a few police cars and an ambulance show up.




posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:03 AM
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They took me to an ER close by to stitch up my finger, but what the ER doctor there did really ticked me off. When he went to numb my finger he took the syringe and slowly poked me and then for some reason jammed the needle into my bone breaking the needle in half. I yelled out in pain and just started cussing at him asking why he just did that. He left the room and came back a few minutes later to try the stitch me up again...all I let him do was glue me shut. So he glued my finger and the next thing I know I'm in cuffs being hauled to the university psychiatric ER downtown for a mental evaluation.

So I get to the 2nd ER, they start all the test and observations and then this female doctor calls me in to tell me she wants to preform a CT scan of my brain. At first I refused but she looked at me and said if I didn't go along willingly then I would be held down and forced . After a couple more hours I was taken to a room with a few doctors surrounded by computers and monitors. They show me an image of my brain and point out areas that they said I had damaged because of a certain herbal recreation I had. The main doctor said I had to be transferred to a state facility for 90 days to be treated with medication.

I remained on the medication for a year and a half until July 2011 when I lost my pizza gig because of an altercation with a fellow employee. The only reason I stayed on the medicine was to make everybody else happy, but all it did was make me feel depressed because I was on it in the first place.

When I lost my job I immediately moved in with my dad and sister because of financial difficulties. My dad was basically stuck in bed because of a massive heart attack when he was 35 and my sister cared for him. After a short time I got a job selling ice cream door-to-door. Basically driving around town scamming little kids and their parents with overpriced popsicles.

The ice cream gig went on a little over a year until the end of September 2012. I was having a territory dispute with another driver working for the same company. One day when I was stopped in a neighborhood this driver and her boyfriend drove up to my truck and jumped me. I was totally caught off guard not knowing what they were doing. The boyfriend ran me out of my truck and started swinging at me as the girl went in my truck and started throwing my belongings out. Next thing I know they are driving away. I went back to my truck and noticed they had stolen my laptop I used to listen to pod casts while working. Immediately I called the cops and went back to the ice cream shop where I knew the girl had to turn in her company truck. They arrived about 30 minutes after the incident occurred and the cops asked for the computer and they gave it right to me.

So that last week of September was a little weird. I was jumped at work and had my computer stolen which was given right back to me. I later find out that they stole it and scanned the hard drive looking for evidence of child porn, finding nothing. They thought I was taking pictures of kids while working or something like that.

My computer was stolen and returned on a Thursday and on Saturday I got a new neighbor in the apartment above me. The guy drives up in a Land Rover with Virginia plates that spooked me a little because of the license plate number. The license was 6 characters, I'll conceal the letters and tell you the numbers...it was ##6666. I was on my patio when the guy moved in that Saturday and he shook my hand and just smiled and said hi. A few days pass before I see the Land Rover again, but this time a different guy got out and went into the apartment. I was back in paranoia mode and after two mental inquest warrants the next couple of weeks I found myself back in the hospital.

About the second week in the hospital I saw something that really scared me stiff, literally. One night I was just laying in bed with my eyes open just staring at the door, wall, and dresser...just looking straight ahead bored out of my mind. The rooms had two beds and I was in the second from the door with no roommate. I could see everything in the room because of a nightlight that was built into the wall and permanently on at night. Well, as I was staring off into never-never land a 'shadow person' silhouette appeared from the corner of the dresser, about six feet from the night light. It was like it came out from the corner of the wall and dresser a couple feet and then hung a left and headed for the door. A feeling of fear shot through my body and I was instantly frozen. And then a distinctive smell hit me when the shadow was in front of the light and halfway to the door. The shadow moved towards the door, the door opened and then closed, and a couple seconds later the door opened again. The second time the door opened it was a staff member doing a room check. I read a little about people seeing 'shadow people', but I've never heard of anybody experiencing a smell at the same time.

Three weeks I spent in the hospital before I was released and had no choice but to move in with my grandmother. Nobody else would take me. A week later I went back to my dads for a visit and while I was there I did something to the car that belonged to the guy upstairs. I told my sister what I did and left. She called the cops and they sent me back to the hospital for another 10 days or so.

It was December and I was settled in at grandma's looking for work. To prove to everybody that I was sane I finally landed a decent, respectable job. Ironically my boss had experienced 'shadow people' and was locked up in a hospital for about 36 weeks and a coworker came into work one day saying he woke up in the middle of the night to see a shadow running out of his bedroom...he chased it with a baseball bat. Needless to say, he didn't catch it.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:04 AM
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Work was going well and life was grand until a couple things happened. My grandma has a pretty large house that she converted into three apartments. She rented out the basement, lived in the main floor and rented out the second floor. The man that lived upstairs was a law student that was kind of interesting. But I found it odd when late one night I was on the front porch smoking a cigarette and he came home. It was weird because out in the street there was a guy that was waiting for him to arrive and when my neighbor got out of his car the two started talking. I heard my neighbor read off about a 10 digit number to the guy and then he relayed through a radio, almost like some sort of security check. The stranger left and my neighbor walked up to the house a little surprised to see me and then he went inside. Maybe it had something to do with his work because he was working for the city attorneys office or something like that.

A few days later I was sitting at home on my computer playing around. It was late at night. After a long surfing session I took a break, leaned back in my chair, and tilted my head back looking up at the ceiling. As soon as I looked up I noticed a black spider a little more than an inch in diameter crawling across the ceiling. I thought 'cool a spider' and watched it for a moment before I realized it wasn't a normal spider. As I sat watching it crawl I noticed it wasn't moving like a normal spider, but more like a robot. The more I looked at it the more I could tell that its movements were more motorized than natural. Nothing like any spider I had ever seen before. I could believe what I was seeing so I lifted my head and looked forward squishing my eyes and then looked up again...it was gone. That was just too weird for me.

A couple days later my grandma came home and her eyes was totally red. It freaked me out so I took her to the hospital. We took the highway where she freaked out because I was going 10 mph over the speed limit, but so were the other 100 or so cars on the road. I was just going with the flow of traffic. We get to the ER where they tell her she just has a busted blood vessel and then go home.

The next day the cops show up and haul me to the hospital again. But this ride wasn't like the previous rides. I was sitting sideways because there was no room for my legs and I decided for some reason to bury my head into the seat between my leg, the seat, and the back of the seat. It was a fairly short ride and when we arrived in the ER dock things got really weird. My head was buried...I didn't want to see anything and I couldn't. My eyes were closed and all I could see was blackness. When the car stopped the cop got on his radio and started saying something like “I need this channel clear”. A door of the cop car opened and immediately closed and he said it again. Then a bright white flash. He says it again...another door opens then closes...then another door opened and closed...and the cop keeps saying “I need this channel clear” “we need to clear this channel”. Doors keep opening and closing....the entire time my head is totally buried between my leg and the seat with my eyes closed. And the entire time I keep seeing bright white flashes that slowly get weaker and then stop. And it wasn't the dome light. The flashes were timed with the doors opening or closing and they were coming from inside my eyes, which were closed, and buried in the seat. Finally the flashes stop as well as the doors opening and closing and the cop stops talking on the radio. After as short period of quiet the cop gets out and lets me out taking me inside.

The doctors told me because I was speeding I was deemed a threat to my self and others and needed hospitalization again. I spent three weeks this past August locked up and lost my decent job.

One interesting thing happened while in the hospital this stay. The first few days one of the staff kept reading everybody their horoscopes from the local newspaper, but then fizzled out in her routine. I don't usually read horoscopes, but I followed mine almost everyday out of boredom. They were always the lame, generalized gibberish until one day I had this one that still sticks with me. I wrote it down and kept it...here it is, word for word. “Regardless of how important you are to the team (and you are very important), you may not be treated as an individual now”. It just struck me as an odd horoscope.

So it's August now and I'm out of the hospital. I'm bored and my mind is going 100 mph trying to figure out what to do and because of being totally bored and for reasons I can't really explain and this is getting too long as it is, I buy a Logitec presentation laser pointer to 'play with'. One night while sitting on the front porch I start aiming the laser at the apartments and houses in the neighborhood. Everything is fine until I aim it at a condo building that stands about 10-15 stories. The building was on the next block over from my house and had a street and another house in between. When I shined the laser at the condo I couldn’t see it. It was was like something was magically blocking the laser. Then I noticed that if I hit the house that was in between my house and the condo and then point it back at the condo I could see the laser point. This went on for a couple night, I would point at the condo and get nothing then pan down to the house or its garage until I saw the laser point and go back up to the condo and would see it. And then something else weird happened. I was sitting there 'painting' the condo doing the little 'trick' and I noticed that when the laser hit the power line of the house in between my house and the condo one of the condo lights about 5 or 6 floors up would turn off. So each time I hit the power line a light in one of the condos would go off. As soon as I moved the laser off the power line the light would come back on. I did this over and over and over again out of amazement. Coincidence, I think not.

I'm now a week or so out of the hospital and jobless. Once again the cops knock on the door, this time with an EPO. Well, my grandmother is tired of my 'delusions' and she can have me thrown in a hospital this time so she makes up some lies on an EPO. So I get thrown out on the street. After a month sleeping in a van at the ice cream shop my dad lets me stay with him again. Last time I was at his apartment I did something to the car that belonged to the guy upstairs and the apartment complex banned me from returning. And the guy upstairs really didn't like me anymore because of what I did. The first day I return I try to sneak in the apartment and run into the guy upstairs. But wait...was it him. Yes and no. It was the guy from upstairs, but he wasn't the same guy that was there one year ago and it wasn't the same guy that initially moved in from Virginia. And I notice that he doesn't have his Land Rover anymore, the guy now owns a BMW SUV. After a couple days my sister says the guy works at Fort Knox.

I've played online poker for almost 10 years. The first couple of years I did pretty good and then all of the sudden I kept losing. It always felt like I was being scammed somehow and the scamming seemed to start when Dave, from Virginia, moved in next door to me when I was living in my buddy’s basement. This was also the same time I was being harassed by the cops. Somehow, some way I was being hacked and just about every night I was reinstalling Windows on my computer and watching IP connections trying to figure out what was going on. Back this past July I finally hit on something that I didn't like seeing on my computer. It was an IP address that was connected to my computer and the poker program. 205.234.175.175 is the IP address and it was as far as I could tell 'cloning' my computer or something. Hard to explain but I do have screenshots of what brought on my suspicions.

I'm fairly computer friendly and know a little about the computer world so I researched the IP and found some interesting information. I did all sorts of searches and found out the IP was located in Chicago and had been spewing spam and virus's out for a couple of years. Then I found information that the IP was associated with 2 websites, methproject.org and afacpo.com (Air Force Acquisition Process Model Web Portal).

I know this is a lot of information and I have left out tons of little things that have happened, but I know my life isn't normal. I'm just trying to figure out what my world is...reality or controlled by something. At times I have felt like my brain is 'hacked' and other I have felt like I was stuck in some type of quantum world.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:39 AM
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Quantum world, hacked brain, or just crazy?
If you're not crazy, what does all this mean.
Why do you think it is happening?



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:40 AM
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Wow.... just wow. I read the whole thing and admittedly said (several times) to myself that you probably did need to go to those hospitals, but who am I to judge?

I am not sure what your posts are trying to convey, but it seems like your life has been pretty active and not in a good way. I think that some mental disorders can make you extremely paranoid and you do seem to be extremely paranoid. The question then goes to... if you have the right to be paranoid or if it is something going on mentally. I know that some forms of mental illness do make things seem real and the person going through it believes it 100%. That is why it is an illness. If we just all saw things all of the time that weren't real and we knew they weren't real, then we could deal with it differently.

Did your paranoia ease up/stop with the use of medication?

And by all means, I do not mean to offend here. I am Bipolar and while I do not see things, it does make some things in life more difficult from time to time. I am also not saying it's all in your head. Nobody really knows if they don't know you. But my first guess wouldn't be that someone is out to get you unless you have something they want. I can't see people putting that much effort into just making you think you are crazy. Why do you think they would do such a thing?

I would assume that you may have something going on mentally as well since your whole family seems to feel like you do. They should know you better than most and they appear to be the main people putting you in the hospital from what I can tell.

Either way, I was sad reading your thread. Nobody should have to live like that regardless if it is a mental issue or not. I would maybe suggest picking another doctor on your own. Don't wait for someone else to do it, search for one and go. That way no one will have time to contact them before you do. Go see them and see what they say. It's the best thing you can do for yourself right now IMO. If nobody knows you are going then they do not have time to taint any diagnosis you may get. Start there and go forward.
edit on 1/21/2014 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:40 AM
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reply to post by TerrorAlertRed
 


It is difficult to conclusively rule out any possibilities. Your story has depth and details, and I would like the opportunity to read through it more carefully when I have more time. I'm fascinated and glad you shared. That being said, it does not surprise me that someone diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia is having paranoid delusions or viewing benign events with heightened scrutiny. The utterly terrifying thing about mental disorders is their ability to warp reality and make the perceiver believe tainted thoughts.

To the extent this is a derivative of mental disease, you should look into (sooner than later) talking to an attorney specializing in this area. If exposure to negligently released chemicals caused you harm, you may have remedies under the law, especially if you only now are discovering the correlation and causation.

I wish you the best.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:44 AM
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What did you do to the car, and why?



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:56 AM
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Look, I'm going to level with you.

You were doing "shady" things, got paranoid, and likely messed up your own brain through your lifestyle, on top of whatever this agent orange may have done.

I don't know exactly what you were doing to attract so much attention, but it sounds to me like you brought a good chunk of this on yourself.

Go through detox for a few years, and try to gain some perspective in the process.

Look for foods that will increase BDNF and IGF-1 in the brain.

Off the top of my head:

-tea
-turmeric/ginger/curcumin
-blueberries
-cinnamon
-omega3's
-smile therapy

There's no reason to be paranoid if you put the past in the past. That means cleaning up, and quitting whatever other shady things you were doing. I don't want to know. Sounds like you had "good reason" to be paranoid, but I think this is for a reason not really mentioned.

What I find interesting is that you can still make well formed paragraphs. I guess that's the asperger's. Hopefully that's an indication that you can recover well over time.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:57 AM
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reply to post by Mr Headshot
 


Cut all four valve stems because I knew he wouldn't do anything.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:16 AM
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TerrorAlertRed
reply to post by Mr Headshot
 


Cut all four valve stems because I knew he wouldn't do anything.


So, you see nothing wrong with destroying another persons property?

2nd



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:27 AM
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TerrorAlertRed
reply to post by Mr Headshot
 


Cut all four valve stems because I knew he wouldn't do anything.


"Knowing" someone won't do anything can change pretty quickly when facing the price of replacing 4 tires out of the blue.

You got lucky he didn't do anything. Not everyone is going to "not" react. I would be careful in the future when dealing with other's belongings. Seriously.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:30 AM
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reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe
 


The medication did absolutely nothing for me. The only reason family and friends thought it was working was because I took the medicine and basically just shut my mouth. I just quietly crawled in a corner and hushed up.

I showed symptoms of illness and the doctors treated the symptoms, but they did nothing to cure what was causing the symptoms which was not a chemical imbalance in my brain...they were caused by events that were taking place in my environment. How is a pill going to affect environmental factors?

Most of the things I talked about in this post, the shadow person, object in my vision, the spider, laser pointer...I've never told anybody.

The shadow person I saw while laying in bed still amazes me. I was in the hospital, on medication, and drug free for weeks...but somehow I had a hallucination with a smell associated with it. How many people have ever had a hallucination they could smell?

And the laser pointer. How is that explainable? How was I turning the light in the condo off just by making contact with a power line not even connected to the building?

And when I woke to the feeling of my brain being fried...being forced to sit up for a few seconds. What was that? How does a pill cure that?



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:41 AM
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reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe
 


Actually the cops were called and they did pick me up. The cop that picked me up informed me I just committed a felony, I laughed at him and explained they guy would be out $20 for new stems. I new what I was doing...



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:43 AM
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reply to post by TerrorAlertRed
 


There are definitely things I don't understand here. I also can't tell you how a pill fixes anything, but I do know that there are members here who are on medication for some similar experiences as yours. I don't advocate the use of medication for everything, I was just trying to toss out some different ideas to you. As I said... nobody should have to live like you are living regardless of what is causing it. But you should always be proactive in your own care and rule out all possibilities before moving on to other causes.

I don't know what the answer for you is if you do not want to seek medical help on your own as I do not know of any other reason why so many people would be out to haunt you incessantly. If YOU take charge of your own medical choices then maybe the outcome will be different than it is when everyone else controls it for you.

If there are people going this far to make you crazy, then you (on some level) have to have a clue as to why they are putting forth such a huge effort.

I hope it all turns out well for you either way.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:44 AM
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OP,
it's a long story..
and there's a lot of wounds that need dressing

..even if the big mean Mr. Burns
and some of his friends
did chop your leg off and cripple you
for their own sick amusement
when you were just a little child

you have to dance anyway
right in front of them
and laugh at them
and look in their eye while you do it

..do you understand why?



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:46 AM
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reply to post by Bassago
 


I know right from wrong and I know, and knew at the time, that what I did was wrong.

Sometimes you just have to break the rules.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 01:50 AM
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reply to post by UNIT76
 


Why?

2nd



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 02:11 AM
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TerrorAlertRed
reply to post by Bassago
 


I know right from wrong and I know, and knew at the time, that what I did was wrong.

Sometimes you just have to break the rules.


This is all I going to say with regards to your posts, they tell us a lot about your mindset.

You say you know right from wrong but basically you just don't care. I'm not one for lots of rules and laws but when your actions hurt others or cause damage to things they've worked to get then that makes you dangerous to others. I can see why you're having so much trouble even without the chemical problems.

Recommend you go back to the doctors and ask for help. Good luck and all that. I'm outta here.
edit on 383am3333am22014 by Bassago because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 02:12 AM
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reply to post by TerrorAlertRed
 


As someone just told you, I'm also going to level with you. I'm going to mention something that I don't normally mention here or anywhere. I was also diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Things that happen to you while experiencing symptoms can seem incredibly real. Fortunately I haven't had an episode since my second one in 2006. But the key to living a normal life is medication compliance (laymen's terms: sticking to your meds). I've seen one too many of my friends, after living with this illness for 14 years, start hearing voices and seeing things because of not taking their medications. And to be honest with you, sometimes people never find the right medication. And when that happens, you just have to accept that this is all in your head. I realize that you feel like these things are an injustice towards you, but you're just compounding the situation by making other people's lives difficult (ex., messing with people's cars). If you feel like the medicine was having no effect on you, then, with your own family, try to look out for your options. Maybe a good therapist is the key, and perhaps by interacting with other people that are experiencing similar things to what you are going through. The first key is acceptance. Think about it. What's more likely? That these extremely implausible things are going on, or that it's all in your head? During my 2nd episode, I literally thought that my neighbor, via her spirit, was trying to choke me out. It felt real, it hurt, and I was hoping that I would just die so that I wouldn't feel the pain. Bottom line is seek treatment. If you really want help, then just message me. I've been through this whole thing several times on my own, and with other people. I can really help you out. You just have to trust that there's a way out that makes sense. That's all.



posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 02:22 AM
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reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe
 


I did forget one important detail. I always thought Dave, the guy next door, was FBI or something watching me. It was when he moved in that the cops harassed me for about 3 years. During that time I was also told by a friend that a cop, which he knew through the strip club he worked at, was 'out to get me'. Well, at the same time I was being harassed there were 60 home burglaries that occurred. I learned about this a month before I was first hospitalized. That's the main reason I was so paranoid...they literally drove me crazy. I remember one of the last times I was harassed by the cops they told me there had be a few break-ins around the area. And a month before I was first lockup up I was at a family dinner, beginning of Nov '09, and my cousin who is a cop told me about the guy doing all the break ins. It was one guy that burglarized 60 homes around my house. But for 3 years I was a suspect and didn't even know it. I was just a pizza guy that liked 'herbal medication' and that lost a whole lot of money playing online poker. I had quite a lot of money moving through my computer every night and I'm sure they new about it, but didn't believe I was making enough money with my pizza gig to support the kind of habits I had.

I know there is a type of schizophrenia that is purposely caused by people in someones life, but I just can't remember the name of it. Basically its a schizophrenia that people make someone develop and they do it on purpose for one reason or another. There is no cure for that...because basically your just masking the symptoms but the cause is never dealt with because the doctors 'can't' see it.





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